I really, really need some support..
therequiiem
Posts: 133 Member
I've gained ten pounds and it's really making me depressed. That state of mind that I was in when I lost all my weight, I just can't seem to get that back. As much as I want to lose weight again, I still eat comfort foods and won't even think about exercising. I don't count my calories anymore, and if I do, I don't do it for the entire day. I'm really scared to weigh myself since my last weigh in. I also can't stop drinking alcohol. It's just something I do on a weekly basis with my friends. When I lost my weight I was in a relationship so I didn't really go out with friends haha, I was able to cut alcohol out completely. I don't know why I keep allowing myself to eat like crap and not do something about it. I find it a chore to record what I've eaten now. How do I start making myself eat healthy? How can I make myself want so badly to lose weight again? I just can't get there...
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Replies
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How bad do you really want it? It's discipline, motivation, desire......all rolled into one. Picture the end result. Healthy,lean and fit. You'll do it if you really want to.0
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How bad do you really want it? It's discipline, motivation, desire......all rolled into one. Picture the end result. Healthy,lean and fit. You'll do it if you really want to.
See I had that before, I lost 50 lbs! But now I just can't make myself! How do I make myself want to?0 -
Girl, it's gotta come from within you! When I slipped off the wagon months ago, I figured "oh well. what's a few lbs" and it took me several months for those few lbs to really start bugging me. It took me a while to realize that I was falling into old habits, and THAT was what inspired ME to change. For you, it may be something different! Try looking on the success stories message board. That ALWAYS makes me feel inspired!0
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If you don't want to, you don't want to. Re-evaluate your motivations. What is the real reason you 'want to lose weight'. Is it truly for yourself? Or has it been for other people.
x 0 -
You have to decide what fit you best, is it the lifestyle you have chosen now....or is it the lifestyle that you had in the past? I agree with the other writers....you have to determine what is best for you and if you really want something you have to go for it!0
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I think if you just make small changes they will snowball you back into having the motivation you had before. What worked for me was to just start tracking, then when that became "easy" I started to change my eating, then I added working out. It can be very overwhelming to think of everything you have to change and think you have to do it all at once. One step at a time, you will get there!0
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As someone who has been all the way up and down the scale, start by weighing yourself. That may be the inspiration you need. The last time I felt like you are now, I got on the scale and, to my astonishment, gained 30 lbs! And, my jeans still fit. I can't explain it either. That made me think of my grandmother, who weighed herself every morning until she was no longer able. In her 80's she was distressed the 2-3 lbs she'd gained. I told her not to worry about it that it was so minor. She told me no she has to keep on track because it is so easier to fix a 2 lb problem than a 20lb problem. Boy was she right!0
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Nicolette is right . It has to come from within. Often the what drives us is coming from someone else -- that will never last! It's what is in your heart and in your head that is what will last. Maybe the motivation from before came from your significant other's influence; you have to find your own. Best wishes; friend me if you wish.If you don't want to, you don't want to. Re-evaluate your motivations. What is the real reason you 'want to lose weight'. Is it truly for yourself? Or has it been for other people. x0 -
Sometimes the question isn't "how do I motivate myself to change?", but rather "what is motivating me to stay the same?"
There's a reason why you aren't willing to make the effort to change your status quo right now--you are more comfortable staying the way you are. Why?0 -
I've gained ten pounds and it's really making me depressed. That state of mind that I was in when I lost all my weight, I just can't seem to get that back. As much as I want to lose weight again, I still eat comfort foods and won't even think about exercising. I don't count my calories anymore, and if I do, I don't do it for the entire day. I'm really scared to weigh myself since my last weigh in. I also can't stop drinking alcohol. It's just something I do on a weekly basis with my friends. When I lost my weight I was in a relationship so I didn't really go out with friends haha, I was able to cut alcohol out completely. I don't know why I keep allowing myself to eat like crap and not do something about it. I find it a chore to record what I've eaten now. How do I start making myself eat healthy? How can I make myself want so badly to lose weight again? I just can't get there...
I'm dealing with similar. I was working out 5 days a week, up to 45 minutes a session, eating healthier all that. Then I got really sick, had trouble with pains and aches, couldn't get the energy for 15-20 minutes without major fatigue. Went to the doc to have blood tests. I just got the results back. Motivation is still hard, because my work schedule changed too, but they've found I'm very low on vitamin D (which gives you energy, the lack of which can cause...fatigue, body and joint aches, depression, etc.)
I weigh myself daily so I know I'm not gaining, but I'm not losing much either. I started eating crappy foods again. Recently made my diary private so I can analyze myself and get back on track. Other than the relationship, did anything else change? Maybe go lower on the alcohol when out with friends, and start with walking or something with someone to start getting some motivation back? Sometimes once we hit the rut, it takes a near backhoe to get us back out of it and on track. I'm still struggling to do that. Started taking Vitamin D yesterday, so hoping that I'll get to where I'm not so lacking in energy anymore. It's going to take some soul searching.0 -
Volunteer to be DD everytime you're haning with friends, that'll cut your alcohol intake, ha!0
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First let me say that it really takes a lifestyle change to lose the weight and keep it off. Right now you are doing the number one best thing that you can do ... reach out for support from like minded people. Now you need to figure out FOR YOU why you want to take this journey. There are many reasons why people want to commit to a healthier lifestyle (e.g. being stronger, longer lifespan, improved confidence and self-image, etc.). You need to figure out why YOU want to change ... What your motivation is. It helps alot if you can find an accountability partner (or several). It is much easier when you have someone to lean on and keep you in check during the rough spots. MFP is all about accountability and self-awareness. It can be even more powerful when you know that there is someone else that you are accountable to as well. Watch out for the "all or nothing" approach to it. I still drink socially, but it is worked into my fitness plan. You can also treat a night out as an occasional reward for your efforts. Without making this too long of a reply (is it already there?) .... Don't give up!!! When you fall off, get right back on. We all have bad days; it is what we do next that defines the future ... literally.0
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wanna know how?
:happy:
I mean like really seriously wtf is the secret?
Zombies + babies
WTF yoovie???
No seriously - 2 thoughts.
#1 think of yourself as little baby you - somewhere between the ages of two and five. Think about all the things she loved and how she ran around and played and ate cheerios with her fingers and then went back to playing outside or all over her bedroom, or nomming on juicy orange pieces and sandwiches and licking her fingers and running back to play. Tell her that when she grows up, she is going to be just as full of light and laughter and you'll still make sure she gets all these wonderful healthy foods and she is free to play with her friends and enjoy life when she grows up cause YOU HAVE GOT HER BACK, BABY!!!
#2 Turn off your brain. Mindlessly stand up, like a zombie, put on your workout clothes and just freaking do it. Your brain is stopping you from going because your brain is often a first class jerk. This is none of your brain's business. This is your body's business. Tell your brain to back off.
Whats really funny is that when you get back from your workout and you feel amazing and triumphant and RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR - your brain will still try to take credit.
Just go. Just do it. Turn off your brain and do it for that little girl so she doesnt have to worry about whether or not she will be happy and strong and healthy and beautiful when she grows up.0 -
I think if you just make small changes they will snowball you back into having the motivation you had before. What worked for me was to just start tracking, then when that became "easy" I started to change my eating, then I added working out. It can be very overwhelming to think of everything you have to change and think you have to do it all at once. One step at a time, you will get there!
I agree! It just becomes habit forming. At first, logging all my food was a pain in the butt, but now, it's as normal as brushing my teeth. I would groan at the thought of getting on my treadmill, now it's the one thing that gets me through the day. Knowing that I get to work out that night and it will feel great! You can do this!0 -
wanna know how?
:happy:
I mean like really seriously wtf is the secret?
Zombies + babies
WTF yoovie???
No seriously - 2 thoughts.
#1 think of yourself as little baby you - somewhere between the ages of two and five. Think about all the things she loved and how she ran around and played and ate cheerios with her fingers and then went back to playing outside or all over her bedroom, or nomming on juicy orange pieces and sandwiches and licking her fingers and running back to play. Tell her that when she grows up, she is going to be just as full of light and laughter and you'll still make sure she gets all these wonderful healthy foods and she is free to play with her friends and enjoy life when she grows up cause YOU HAVE GOT HER BACK, BABY!!!
#2 Turn off your brain. Mindlessly stand up, like a zombie, put on your workout clothes and just freaking do it. Your brain is stopping you from going because your brain is often a first class jerk. This is none of your brain's business. This is your body's business. Tell your brain to back off.
Whats really funny is that when you get back from your workout and you feel amazing and triumphant and RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR - your brain will still try to take credit.
Just go. Just do it. Turn off your brain and do it for that little girl so she doesnt have to worry about whether or not she will be happy and strong and healthy and beautiful when she grows up.
Love this analogy! :happy:0 -
If you don't want to, you don't want to. Re-evaluate your motivations. What is the real reason you 'want to lose weight'. Is it truly for yourself? Or has it been for other people. x
THIS.0 -
wanna know how?
:happy:
I mean like really seriously wtf is the secret?
Zombies + babies
WTF yoovie???
No seriously - 2 thoughts.
#1 think of yourself as little baby you - somewhere between the ages of two and five. Think about all the things she loved and how she ran around and played and ate cheerios with her fingers and then went back to playing outside or all over her bedroom, or nomming on juicy orange pieces and sandwiches and licking her fingers and running back to play. Tell her that when she grows up, she is going to be just as full of light and laughter and you'll still make sure she gets all these wonderful healthy foods and she is free to play with her friends and enjoy life when she grows up cause YOU HAVE GOT HER BACK, BABY!!!
#2 Turn off your brain. Mindlessly stand up, like a zombie, put on your workout clothes and just freaking do it. Your brain is stopping you from going because your brain is often a first class jerk. This is none of your brain's business. This is your body's business. Tell your brain to back off.
Whats really funny is that when you get back from your workout and you feel amazing and triumphant and RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR - your brain will still try to take credit.
Just go. Just do it. Turn off your brain and do it for that little girl so she doesnt have to worry about whether or not she will be happy and strong and healthy and beautiful when she grows up.
I think my inner zombie ate my inner baby... :sad: :sad: :sad: :brokenheart:0 -
wanna know how?
:happy:
I mean like really seriously wtf is the secret?
Zombies + babies
WTF yoovie???
No seriously - 2 thoughts.
#1 think of yourself as little baby you - somewhere between the ages of two and five. Think about all the things she loved and how she ran around and played and ate cheerios with her fingers and then went back to playing outside or all over her bedroom, or nomming on juicy orange pieces and sandwiches and licking her fingers and running back to play. Tell her that when she grows up, she is going to be just as full of light and laughter and you'll still make sure she gets all these wonderful healthy foods and she is free to play with her friends and enjoy life when she grows up cause YOU HAVE GOT HER BACK, BABY!!!
#2 Turn off your brain. Mindlessly stand up, like a zombie, put on your workout clothes and just freaking do it. Your brain is stopping you from going because your brain is often a first class jerk. This is none of your brain's business. This is your body's business. Tell your brain to back off.
Whats really funny is that when you get back from your workout and you feel amazing and triumphant and RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR - your brain will still try to take credit.
Just go. Just do it. Turn off your brain and do it for that little girl so she doesnt have to worry about whether or not she will be happy and strong and healthy and beautiful when she grows up.
The answer is ALWAYS "listen to yoovie." 0 -
Totally agree with Yoovie! Just get up and do it. Fake it 'till you make it. You can and probably should do all that analyzing too, but don't let it make you sit around and fret, get moving.
If you find you can't do it on your own, come here for support (check), and if you're still stick get some real world people to come over there and kick your but into gear. Reach out and ask for help just like you've done here. If you are still floundering and your self analysis hasn't helped any you could maybe talk to a councillor. I did that a few times (for reasons othe than weight loss) and it helped a lot to have someone from outside take a look at things objectively.0 -
I've gained ten pounds and it's really making me depressed. That state of mind that I was in when I lost all my weight, I just can't seem to get that back.
See, I think you might have this backwards. I think it's possible that you are depressed, so you gained ten pounds.
So much of weight loss is mindset, and when you're depressed, you can't get there. Think about what has happened between the time you lost weight and now. It sounds to me like you went through a breakup. That's enough to cause some situational depression.
If you can follow Yoovie's good advice, do it. But you should also follow Sarah's. Go see a counselor. Alcohol is not your friend in this fight, and since you're questioning why you can't stop drinking, you should talk to the counselor about that specifically. And keep logging your food and exercise as much as possible to stay in the habit.
You can do this.0 -
The straight answer is that if you are not prepared to do this for yourself and for the right reasons there is no system or method which will do this for you. Each one of us is responsible for what goes into our mouths. Sadly many of us live in a world of easy solutions, throw away consumables and second hand opinion. In the real world there is no substiute for simple self discipline and hard graft. Experience shows that diets don't work because once the diet stops the weight simply returns plus some more. The MFP programme properly applied requires a complete lifestyle change. This requires honest recording and working to a plan. You say that you simply gave up recording and can't help yourself when it comes to drinking alcohol and socialising. It appears that at this moment in time you have bigger issues to deal with than excess weight. I suggest that you seek help to get a realistic assessment of exactly where you are. When you have done this and are prepared for the discipline required for the MFP programme by all means come back and beneffit from the help of the many supportive people on here . The questions for you to answer honestly are:-
1. What is the likely outcome if I continue with my current pattern of behaviour?
2. Am I prepared to seek professional help to help me make a realistic assessment of my life.
I've tried to be both honest and constructive. The next step is up to you and only you can decide if you're worth it.0 -
wanna know how?
:happy:
I mean like really seriously wtf is the secret?
Zombies + babies
WTF yoovie???
No seriously - 2 thoughts.
#1 think of yourself as little baby you - somewhere between the ages of two and five. Think about all the things she loved and how she ran around and played and ate cheerios with her fingers and then went back to playing outside or all over her bedroom, or nomming on juicy orange pieces and sandwiches and licking her fingers and running back to play. Tell her that when she grows up, she is going to be just as full of light and laughter and you'll still make sure she gets all these wonderful healthy foods and she is free to play with her friends and enjoy life when she grows up cause YOU HAVE GOT HER BACK, BABY!!!
#2 Turn off your brain. Mindlessly stand up, like a zombie, put on your workout clothes and just freaking do it. Your brain is stopping you from going because your brain is often a first class jerk. This is none of your brain's business. This is your body's business. Tell your brain to back off.
Whats really funny is that when you get back from your workout and you feel amazing and triumphant and RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR - your brain will still try to take credit.
Just go. Just do it. Turn off your brain and do it for that little girl so she doesnt have to worry about whether or not she will be happy and strong and healthy and beautiful when she grows up.
I think my inner zombie ate my inner baby... :sad: :sad: :sad: :brokenheart:
No, no, that was your inner dingo. Don't blame everything on teh zombiez.0 -
Brilliant!! :O)0
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Girl I gained back 20lbs and I did get depressed. But that aint going to help lets just get back up and start pushin forward it will pay off and this time we can learn from our mistake so it does not happen again.0
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wanna know how?
:happy:
I mean like really seriously wtf is the secret?
Zombies + babies
WTF yoovie???
No seriously - 2 thoughts.
#1 think of yourself as little baby you - somewhere between the ages of two and five. Think about all the things she loved and how she ran around and played and ate cheerios with her fingers and then went back to playing outside or all over her bedroom, or nomming on juicy orange pieces and sandwiches and licking her fingers and running back to play. Tell her that when she grows up, she is going to be just as full of light and laughter and you'll still make sure she gets all these wonderful healthy foods and she is free to play with her friends and enjoy life when she grows up cause YOU HAVE GOT HER BACK, BABY!!!
#2 Turn off your brain. Mindlessly stand up, like a zombie, put on your workout clothes and just freaking do it. Your brain is stopping you from going because your brain is often a first class jerk. This is none of your brain's business. This is your body's business. Tell your brain to back off.
Whats really funny is that when you get back from your workout and you feel amazing and triumphant and RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR - your brain will still try to take credit.
Just go. Just do it. Turn off your brain and do it for that little girl so she doesnt have to worry about whether or not she will be happy and strong and healthy and beautiful when she grows up.
I loved this post !!! Awesome :flowerforyou:0 -
I suspect, by what you posted, the motivation before was not for YOU it was for the boyfriend. YOU need to put YOU first, above all else for your health and well being.
The only Knight in shining armor is staring back at you in the mirror! Be proud of what you accomplished before, you deserve it and do not forget it.0 -
Keep on keepin' on.................0
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okay so you fell of the wagon! do you want to wait till you gain another 5lbs for you to get back on track? remember how hard it is to get to where your at now.
make an effort to do some kind of workout there are a lot of free ones on you tube.
As my son says
YOU CAN DO IT !
YOU CAN DO IT!
YOU CAN DOOO IT!!!0 -
me too!am at a stand still! i lost 10lbs and now thats where i have been what seems like forever!UGH0
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Positive motivation works better than negative -- they have done studies! and look how well the negative approach is working for you now -- so if you have a gorgeous photo of you before, blow it up and use that for inspiration.
If you just can't deal with dieting right now, don't. Instead, you could maybe try to add one big salad a day. Thinking of it as dieting is never going to work for long, anyway.
(Do try to log your food -- remember, you can hide the log; nobody else need know.)
It sounds as if you are maybe in mourning for both your slimmer self and your relationship. That makes it easy to self-medicate with carbs ... but self-medicating with exercise works, too, and doesn't leave a guilty aftertaste. Shoot, if you just make yourself smile, that's supposed to release happy-making endorphins.
(And if you're really depressed, talk to your doctor, please?)
One of my friends does this great thing of finding one thing a day to be grateful for. Even if it is lungs that work -- which, come to think of it, is pretty amazing!
Best wishes! Be well, whether or not you're thin. I was both, for most of my life, and know which one I would pick.0
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