Need HELP and advice regarding emotional eating

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melimann
melimann Posts: 24 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have always been an emotional eater. My father-in-law's health has been declining rapidly for the past two weeks after years of poor health. I have been doing a great job with my self-control but today my father-in-law passed away. I feel emotionally raw and I just want to run into my kitchen. The logical part of myself knows that the food is not going to take the pain of losing my loved one away but food has always been a coping mechanism for me. Any words of wisdom or encouragement at this time would be greatly appreciated.

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  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
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    Your so right...eating might make you feel better for a minute, but then you will feel terrible you did it!! This is a very tough time for you for sure!! I hope you have someone close to talk to.
  • katkrak
    katkrak Posts: 92
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    I am so sorry to hear about your loss! I am also an emotional eater so I completely understand what you are going through with wanting to run to your kitchen for comfort. What has worked for me is to leave the house, whether it be going for a long walk, running errands, or to a friend's house. If that's not an option, then I go upstairs, far away from the kitchen, and do some laundry or other cleaning, just something else to distract you. Drink lots of water and maybe brush your teeth or chew some gum. Take it 1 day/hour/minute at a time. If you absolutely need to eat something, try to choose something healthy, like some crunchy carrots, celery, snowpeas, peppers and maybe some hummus. Try to stay strong-you don't want to undo all of your hard work here. And just remember that "This too shall pass." (((hugs)))
  • coxc1970
    coxc1970 Posts: 1 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss. The best thing you can do for you and your family is take care of yourself. That does not entail drowning your emotions in food. It means acknowledging your feelings, allowing yourself to feel them and dealing with them in a constructive way. If you try to soothe yourself with food you will fill yourself with more sadness. Take a walk, have a cup of tea or look through some pictures to give you good feelings of your father-in-law'. Make him proud of your good choices, good health and loving thoughts. You now have a guardian angel to make proud of you!
  • jannyca
    jannyca Posts: 15 Member
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    Bless your heart, Melimann! I'm sorry you're hurting and sorry for your loss. I am part of a weight loss support group, in which we are studying Lose IT for Life by Stephen Arterburn and Linda Mintle. The book covers every aspect of our lives that keep us over eating. There's a great chapter on emotional eating. I think being able to identify your emotions and to be able to process with people is a big part of breaking the food-for-comfort habit. You can go to the website newlife.com to learn more about it, or to call and find out if there's a support group in your area. Connecting with people is huge. It's great that you reached out here.
    Blessings! Janelle
  • Chuywookie
    Chuywookie Posts: 1
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    I am the same way. After my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer 7 years ago I gained over 100 lbs. I turned to food for comfort from the stress of my life. After she passed away last year I gained another 25. I have finally come to my senses and decided to get healthy and drop the weight. I have four kids between 7 and 22 who need me to live a long life. We have no back-up plan, I am all they have. Good luck to you, I know you will find your motivation.
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
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    I wish I had an answer for you, but I gained quite a bit due to emotional eating after my mom died. I can be a cautionary tale for you. It makes you feel better for mere seconds, but it doesn't fix your heartache or your stress. In fact it adds to it after you see the extra pounds your emotional eating amounts to. Your father in law wouldn't want that for you. Be kind to yourself in honor of him and in honor of yourself. You are stronger than you think you are. :flowerforyou:
  • healthyformeanMona
    healthyformeanMona Posts: 143 Member
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    so sorry for your loss. no easy answers. you can add me if you want. I just lost a sister a few weeks ago, and it was so sad. There were 5 of us, now there are 4. We all have been on different weight loss adventures together over the years. So I am committed to this path for me and Mona, she had a brief struggle with cancer before she passed away. I changed my username to "healthyformeanMona" after that, and I am going to continue on this journey for both of us. My other 3 sisters are great, but far as MFP, they are hit and miss. (That is healthy for me and mona, not that she is mean. ) Add me if you want, the more support, the better! I have been a comfort-food eater, also, "i'm bored-eater". I really appreciate the tracking and support on MFP.
  • Smokey19
    Smokey19 Posts: 796 Member
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    Emotional eating is nothing to be embarrased about, but if you allow yourself to eat emotionally on a regular basis, it can be harder to follow a healthy diet and maintain a healthy weight. And I know that's not what you want. The solution to your emotional eating troubles is also your challenge for the coming week. You can control emotional eating. You just need another outlet for your emotions so you don't continue to use food to calm down or help yourself feel better. And one of the best ways to do this is by keeping a fournal. Writing down what's going on in your life and the challenges you are struggling with provides that emotional release you're seeking, so you don't need food for comfort. Take some time to think about exactly you're feeling, and choose the right words, so they truly represent your emotions. You can put htem down on paper or on your computer your choice.Write at least one journal entry in the next seven days, and then every week from now on, but more is always better. You'll come to love writing in your journal and see it as a secret friend.
  • jerbear1962
    jerbear1962 Posts: 1,157 Member
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    As a nation we turn to food for so many things. Eating in the long run isn't any help and usually will leave you more distraught because now you have these extra calories to burn off. Find a new coping mechanism, maybe needlepoint, scrapbooking, exercising, talk to friends or family. There are so many things you can do.
  • icom100
    icom100 Posts: 29 Member
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    Im sorry about your loss. I don't have a lot of advice to give, but I will borrow a saying from someone on mfp that I saw them post a little while back. "If eating didn't cause the anxiety (or whatever problem youre facing), eating wont fix it." I will remember you and the family in my prayers.
    B
  • boatsie77
    boatsie77 Posts: 480 Member
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    So sorry for your loss, I wish you and your family peace and comfort. I highly recommend you read the book "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth. It provides much insight into overcoming emotional eating. At sometime you are going to have to experience the pain of your loss (and not keep covering it up with food) in order to begin to heal--once you decide to face the pain, you will find that you WILL be able to go through it and move on to a healthy life that will serve as a tribute to the loved one you've lost--do it for him...do it for you...you can do it--you're stronger than you believe you are!
  • haylz247
    haylz247 Posts: 435
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a cruel world :(

    I do the same thing when i'm upset. I head right for the junk! Just take the time and think "will it make me feel better?" if the answer is no, do something else. Go for a short walk to get some air. Or just have a small amount of whatever it is.
  • cbeutler
    cbeutler Posts: 667 Member
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    I'm sorry for your loss. But food is not the answer. Emotional eating just makes you feel bad all over again. Try taking a walk, telling stories of you after in law, or taking a walk.
  • sammielealea
    sammielealea Posts: 245 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Lots of great, supportive comments thusfar . . . . From one emotional eater to another, I have found that something as silly as painting my nails has helped me. Keeps my hands busy and can't eat when my fingernails are wet; then when they are dry, it makes me feel better knowing that I did something nice for myself :) My thoughts are with you and your family.
  • DonaGail
    DonaGail Posts: 190 Member
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    Please remember to take care of yourself or you will be really sorry!
    I was doing so great for the first time in my life and I was going to make it finally. I lost 62lbs and felt so good, halfway to my goal.
    Then my mom got very sick and spent a month in ICU. I hung on, ate healthy, took food to the hospital, walked the parking garage..
    then my best friend became terminally ill. Mom got worse. I was both of their care-takers! I bounced from one hospital to another and went on leave from work, going in to my job just a couple days a week. I have a very physical job and get my exercise there, so that hurt. I started snacking..just a little. Then a lot. My bets friend died last October, Mom died the next month. My brothers girlfriend died, 2 cousins, 2 uncles and 2 aunts died, seriously it was too much to bear. I just started eating and didnt care. I did care but was
    such an emotional wreck I didnt stop myself.
    Well, I gained back more than half of it and was sad and ashamed.
    Ive just now, almost a year later, started picking up the pieces and eating healthy again.
    Its harder this time.
    I do not wish for this to happen to you.
    Please, if you can maintain control, and it wont be easy, do it.
    I wish you the very best!!!
    Dona
  • melimann
    melimann Posts: 24 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your kind words, support and advice. I am proud to say that i actually stayed on track throughout the last few weeks and even lost weight. I love being apart of this MFP community!:heart:
  • linzismith
    linzismith Posts: 139 Member
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    I am the worst in the evenings, that's when I want to binge. So I find that if I eat dinner and then brush my teeth, I will almost never eat again (I hate brushing my teeth, so the thought of having to do it twice in one night is a great deterrent). Plus, the taste of peppermint is a proven natural appetite suppressant.
  • medoria
    medoria Posts: 673 Member
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    Geneen Roth has written a number of books on emotional eating, maybe something worth looking into?
  • katetstefans
    katetstefans Posts: 9
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    Hi there sweet one!

    I totally get what this feels like. Logically wanting something so bad, but not being able to follow through. I wrote a post yesterday on this topic (http://katestefans.com/falling-from-grace/). It seems that until we face what's lying around in our sub-concious, this piece of our brain will continue to sabotage us. For me it was a fear of not being good enough, not being thin enough, not being enough in general. Until I came to terms that I was enough, that piece of my sub-concious would led me running towards the fridge every time. It's really true that what you resist will persist. Here if you want to talk further. And please feel free to check out my site (www.katestefans.com), I often write about the topic and have a free guide that might help you :)

    So much love,
    Kate
  • notenoughspeed
    notenoughspeed Posts: 290 Member
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    Although eating may have BEEN a coping mechanism, try to just tell yourself that it is NO LONGER one. Pretty soon, it will be ingrained into your your head that you eat to live, not eat to cope. Maybe you just need someone to listen. Losing a loved one is never easy. Try to cope in other ways. Maybe you can try and speak to one of your more personal friends about your loss. If you feel like you want to raid the pantry, maybe it's time to get out of the house. Put on those running shoes, and go for a jog. I bet by the time you get back, you'll be winded, and forgot all about wanting to raid the pantry.

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