At my highest weight and feeling lost

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My summer job ended and I had to leave my regular job as well. Things have been different and with the lack of money I'm home all day. Cue the boredom eating and feelings of failure. I knew that eating all the junk and not being active was catching up to me when my "fat" pants became tight...YIKES! I braved the scale this morning and even though I knew I had gained weight I was still shocked to see that I now weigh more than when I was pregnant. That was over 7 years ago.

I am officially at the highest weight I have ever been. It's a mix of emotions swimming in my head right now. Sadness, embarressment, fear, but mostly anger. I'm angry at myself for letting it slip back to this point. Being this overweight is bad for my health. Let's be honest, it's also having adverse affect on my love life.

How do I get this in control before it gets out of hand? I am overwhelmed right now and I don't even know where to start. I just want to be healthy and not obese.
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Replies

  • aStrongerSteph
    aStrongerSteph Posts: 161 Member
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    We all come to the point were change is triggered in us! Maybe this is your moment of realization :) I wish you nothing but blessings along the way.
  • becomingkateblog
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    I completely am right where you are right now. I am at the highest weight I've ever been and the number is shocking (260 when I joined, I'm 5'5). I have had lots of "I've got to get my *kitten* together" moments but for some reason, this week something just clicked.

    Think of your goal as small, like a pound a week. And literally take it one day at a time. Weigh yourself once per week on a certain day. And every day, eat a little bit less and a litle bit better than you normally would. AND LOG YOUR FOOD EVERY DAY. It makes such a difference, it makes you aware and accountable for what you eat and do.

    Do reading other's success stories help you? It helps me. It makes me feel like it's not impossible.

    My goal is 100 pounds by June. I want to go on vacation with my (very athletic and in-shape boyfriend) and feel amazing and do all the sight-seeing and water sports and everything. I don't want to feel FAT for once in my life! So I'll be glad to be there for you and vice versa. You can do it!
  • aclowe01
    aclowe01 Posts: 14 Member
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    schroederkl - My wife. CleanKim, is a stay at home Mom and has been for quite some time. She was in the same boat as you. Together we started a new eating lifestyle and now she has become my catalyst for my motivation to get healthy. You'll have to clean out the cupboard and fridge and stock only clean and healthy food. That's the start and remember it's one meal at a time and one day at a time.

    Add me and CleanKim as friends, we'll help with the tough days!
  • asaw00
    asaw00 Posts: 1,904 Member
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    I've been a diet rollercoaster forever it seems. Turn being home into an advantage instead of a problem. try to add excercise a couple days a week. Drink water with your meals. Find healthy recipes and try them, if it serves 4 divide it into 4 and you've got 4 lunches. small changes can have big results but it does take time. Don't be hard on yourself if you have a bad day. Just start back the next. Set real goals! If you'd like to add me as a friend we can support each other. Good Luck!
  • sarajaxon
    sarajaxon Posts: 21 Member
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    hi there. we have all been in that spot, so you are not alone. i was so unhealthy and depressed in jan that it took all i had to get out of bed and put a smile onmy face for my family, then i would waddle off to work and live through my day with shame. i was at 259. i really get the part about being overwhelmed and where to start. start with this morning. leave the house, go outside, walk, do yardwork, run some errands, anything to get you going. plan a healthy soup or other meal for today, make enough for left overs. when you go bed tonight, you will have one whole day done that included activity and thoughts/actions about healthy food. log it in here on the site. start with a goal of having three days per week that are healthy, so you don't get discouraged when when you have days without activity or days of overeating. i am still amazed that i have lost 43 lbs. i have never lost 43 pounds in my life! you can do this. write anytime and i wish you the very best luck, health and happiness.
  • usafmsc
    usafmsc Posts: 6 Member
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    Only you can control you. I've come to the realization that I want to be there for myself, my family, and friends. One very practical reason I'm "being good" with food and increasing my exercise is due to the fact that is the frugal/right thing to do...it also is good for the environment (less garbage in the landfill)/saves precious food resources for others that might not have what we have. My deployment to Afghanistan offered me the opportunity to see people living like animals (not by choice)... Sorry for the long winded advice..
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    Hey! You can DO THIS! YOU have the ability to take control. Take small steps. Stop looking at the bigger picture, it will only overwhelm you and make you want to give up before you even start. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Or something like that. It sounds cliche, but it is SO true! Set your MFP weight loss goals for 5-10 pounds at a time ONLY. Go for those. You didn't gain it all overnight, it won't go away overnight. A year from now you will be wondering what all your fuss was about. I promise. I believe in you!
  • zombilishious
    zombilishious Posts: 1,250 Member
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    Welcome to the place many of us have been. It starts with an hour by hour, day by day commitment to your health. Using MFP to track your food intake is a great tool, because it requires awareness and accountability. Along the way, you will gain friends to motivate and inspire you. I was 14lbs away from 200 when I decided enough was enough. I lost 10lbs on my own, then found MFP. I've lost 30lbs using MFP, and working toward another 20 to my goal. You won't be perfect - most of us aren't! - but you will find self-confidence and motivation here!

    Start simple. Plan your meals for the week and shop accordingly. There are so many great sites where you will find healthy, easy recipes that your whole family will enjoy. www.skinnytaste.com, www.dashingdish.com, www.sparkrecipes.com are just a few.

    Good luck in your journey!
  • sapphireswi
    sapphireswi Posts: 583 Member
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    January 2012 I weighed my heaviest ever, my life was a mess, unhappy with my then job plus some more personal rubbish.
    On Jan 10 2012 - I started my first baby step- eating a healthy lunch at work (I would eat the same junk for breakfast and lunch)
    4 months later I lost 6 pounds
    Then I decided to eat healthier breakfast- eliminating sugary cereals and oily fried stuff in the morning
    2 months on I lost 2 more pounds
    halfway through the year I started slowly eating smaller portions
    By september I lost 6 pounds more
    I started working out in october
    and in total I have lost about 20 pounds.from 141lbs to 121lbs
    I know its not much but I haven't weighed this low in 3 years and for a short girl like me who loves fried stuff it was tough.
    When I started working out I would do it for 10 mins and give up
    But everyone at MFP is so motivating, you pull yourself up again.
    You have all of us so don't worry. You are going to get your life in order :flowerforyou: Just believe.

    Hugs.
  • ChristineS_51
    ChristineS_51 Posts: 872 Member
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    Start logging exactly what you eat, don't try and be "good" straight away. As you log you will see where you can make changes to what you eat, portion size, get some food scales (digital are cheap and very good), start to plan out your day, get some exercise, even if it is marching on the spot in your lounge room. These first steps will get you started; as you start to feel better and lose some weight you will be energised and rewarded with weight loss and feeling better about yourself and you are on your way. This is not a "diet" to come off and on, it is about learning better ways of eating and moving, and do it for you.

    Read some of the success stories, and know it can be done when you are ready to do it.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • sunshine4me
    sunshine4me Posts: 69 Member
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    You are an amazing human being! You have recognized a need for change and are here to do something about it. Since you get to be at home you have the opportunity to add more movement into your life. I suggest a little dancing in the kitchen to your favorite song, you can start with one song and work up to a whole cd. Just have fun! Go outside and walk around the neighborhood! Drive to the park or the mall and walk there.
    As far as eating goes..... You have to take it one item at a time and log it all!!! That's the key to staying in control. Forgiveness is important too. One cookie isn't going to ruin your week! Don't let it become a road block. Every day is a new beginning, but you have to keep your attitude positive and you will find plenty of wonderful folks here to cheer you on!

    send me a friend request and I will help too!
  • bodyjammin85
    bodyjammin85 Posts: 34 Member
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    The best things to do are -

    Set a few small goals for this time next week. Use things like, 'eat a healthy breakfast every day', 'go for a long walk daily', 'get a skipping rope and do 5 mins of skipping everyday', 'clean out the cupboards of all junk', 'log my food every day' etc.
    Make it small and manageable. Don't go in at the deep end and change everything at once, you will only set yourself up for failure.

    There's a book called 'Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle' by Tom Venuto. He talks alot about setting goals and visualisation before going on to helping you understand food in a way it sticks with you.

    This is a lifestyle change so take one step at a time and you will get there

    'All i have is today, all i have is this meal, this workout, this moment. If i do what i know i must right now, i will reach my goals eventually' - Tom Venuto
  • Louiseisme
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    Like said before, one small step at a time - look at your daily comsumption, is it all food, soda's, empty calories. Eliminate certain foods that you have weakness for. In my case it was soda's, I can't do diet soda's for they are a migraine trigger for me. When do you eat, is it boredom, mindless snacking while watching tv, eating leftovers off the kiddo's plates. Become aware of when you eat and why... Start to make adjustments from there than will fit into your life.
    Water instead of soda, Healthy popcorn instead of bags of chips, have fun, go for walks with friends, hula hoop with the kids, go jump in leaves to be active. Once you start moving and are aware things will get much easier, When I get stressed I call up a friend and we go talk and walk the stress away...MFP is a great help to be aware of the calories and fats in things that we eat and not even realize what they contain.....YOU CAN DO THIS it won't happen overnight but set a small goal and go for it, then set another and hit it, so on and so forth. Good luck and welcome>>> friend me if you'd like
  • hiawathaperez
    hiawathaperez Posts: 71 Member
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    I agree a great deal with christine s 51. Stop fretting that will only exacerbate what is happening to you. I am a protein gal...low carb...as I swear I am lugging around on my bottom the fat from another life time. Any who for me personally I find that if I ADD good foods I will eliminate some BAD foods without being denied. Incorporation of good things will make you feel better and tracking tracking tracking. You will find lots of support here. Good luck.
  • cay165
    cay165 Posts: 2
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    I am right there with you...unhappy with what the scales is telling me...I am done letting it win though...This time I WILL reach my goal....sometimes we have lto get to that "rock-bottom" to realize just how much we want something!!!
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    I don't know if this will work for you, but this is how I started.

    I got up one day (Christmas Eve morning) and like you, got on the scale and had hit 179lbs. I am 5ft 3" and I looked and felt horrible. Even when I was 9 months pregnant, I only weighed 126lbs! I'm short and very small boned so I looked like, welllll an inflated toy in a Macys parade is what I looked like to me. That was it.

    I finally had enough. This part is key. YOU have to be ready to do something about it and since you posted your topic on here, I'd say you're ready. It's YOUR choice.

    I asked myself.. what am I going to do? I had tried 'dieting' and I had no willpower, my family is huge (over 90 nieces and nephews alone - my father had just died, along with my grandmother, 2 aunts and a sister in law) I was stressed to the max then found out my husband has a terminal illness! I had to do SOMETHING to lose weight and alleviate the stress.

    I decided that I was going to 'exercise'. Not jump up and down, run, lift weights, swim hard.. nothing like that. I was mentally exhausted and decided that I wanted to do something that I'd want to do again tomorrow, and the next day and next. So I got on my treadmill and told myself that I was going to walk as slow as I could stand it, and easy enough that I could enjoy it and WANT to do again the next day. I think I only walked 20 minutes that day at about 2mph.

    I did that daily for 2 weeks and had quickly noticed changes! My jeans felt a little looser, I had more energy, etc. So I thought, hey this is great AND it's easy.. so I'll walk a little longer. So I started watching movies while I walked, on my laptop. I started out with Raising Hope. I wanted some Hope and I thought it sounded like an 'inspirational' show and it ended up being a somewhat vulgar comedy. I was hooked! I still love that show. LOL

    Ok so then after that I decided that since I liked even more changes, I wanted something to encourage me to walk even more. I told a dear friend of mine that I was going to walk 1,000 miles for her son, 5 now, who has an inoperable brain tumor. I got people to sponsor me one penny per mile. Ok so now I had more encouragement and the responsibility to finish! lol Ok, that's extreme and I don't expect anyone else to walk 1,000 miles, but my point is that sometimes we need something or someone to inspire us. That little boy certainly has inspired me.

    Then, I was introduced to MFP. :) I started logging my food and was horrified. I started eating less, then started eating better, then less sodium (I"m still working on that one), then started eating more.. It's amazing that when you eat healthy food, you get a LOT more of it. I feel like I'm always eating!

    Then the weight started melting off! I've lost 40lbs, I no longer am pre-diabetic, I have no more indigestion, I'm off one of my blood pressure pills, I'm 52 years old and I CAN WEAR A BIKINI. If I want to anyway. lol

    I'm happier, healthier, have tons of energy and now I bike, run, trail run, do water aerobics and of course, I'm still walking. I've gone over 950 miles and should finish by the end of this month. I lost most of my weight in 4-5 months and now, while I have a goal of weighing even less, I'm happy with how I look and if more comes off, that's ok, if it doesn't, I know I'm still building muscle and it will in time. I think I look great for my age. I did all of this without going to a gym, although I may join one this winter.

    I know that was a long SPEECH, but what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to jump in and do everything all at once. You don't have to DIET. If you do that, you'll get burnt out, you'll feel deprived and you'll quit. Start slow with ONE thing, then add something else when you're ready. You'll be amazed at the progress you see and like me, be encouraged to work at it even harder. Do this in a way that you can maintain it later.

    YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU'RE READY! Start something today! <HUGS>
  • phatgirl4
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    I just got on here a few days ago and I just love this. You are doing something for yourself and its Great.I have found the best thing about this is you can eat what ever you have in your house or you can afford, as I cant afford to buy all healthy items and Im haveing to watch my portions . Every day remember this is for you and each day you get through it you will feel better about yourself because you are doing this for you 1st. Your beautiful!! I wish you the best on the new you. :) Phatgirl4
  • harrietsmama
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    Me too. {{{hugs}}}
  • ar1ms
    ar1ms Posts: 98 Member
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    You have my condolences, but look on the bright side, at least you are realizing it now and not later and maybe even a few pounds heavier.. so this is a perfect time to start a new lifestyle! The only thing in the way is you, so get out of the way! You have to want it bad enough, and either you do it or you don't, simple as that.

    Goodluck :)
  • Malcah1
    Malcah1 Posts: 32 Member
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    You are at the start of an exciting future.
    Stop looking at what is, and see what can be...
    It will be challenging, but healing....you are worth it!

    One step, one choice, one day at a time. Pray for strength and a renewed love for you. You are wonderfully and beautifully created and you deserve happiness.

    Get excited!