What we eat in private WILL show up in public.

debbieHOC
debbieHOC Posts: 56 Member
in Motivation and Support
Diet has gone out the window. Been in therapy for a few months and it has helped and I do feel stronger and the abuse of my childhood weighs less heavy on me BUT I have taken this as a time to throw the tracking, dieting, working out out the window. Time to get back on track. I vow to continue to seek therapy because basically I am still really F#%$#d up. Initially it was good to let the tracking of food slip to the side because I was an emotional mess.... now it's time to get back on track.

My back is killing me and Thank God I don't need a 2nd back surgery just yet BUT what I really need is some weight off. I am back up to 260 and my back feels every pound. When I had gotten to 220 before I felt 20 yrs younger..... So why can't I stick to the program and lose weight? Why do I self sabotage myself? Every time I do well I start sneaking food. Food I never tell anyone about. Sometimes I will eat a whole meal from a drive thru window then go home and eat supper again with my husband and act like I haven't had anything to eat.
It is obvious that I am NOT :embarassed: following my eating plan... I pack my lunch but 1/2 of it comes hme with me. I eat at the patient's house. ... they always offer me food because they are so appreciative of their hospice nurse :flowerforyou: . If it is something sweet I find I am taking it.

It's like I am living with blinders on :glasses: , ignoring what I am doing. My job is very stressful as a hospice nurse but I do love it. I know I make a difference in the patient's and families lives everyday:smile: . So why can't I give myself a tenth of the same consideration? :cry:

I am trying to get back on track today. I will watch what I eat, I will eat slowly, and drink more water. I will execise in the pool at the gym on my off days cause it does not hurt my back as badly. And if I mess up..... I will get back on track the next meal.... and NOT the next week. This is my vow and I will do my best to stick with it.

Thanks for listening.
Deb

Replies

  • miss_ally08
    miss_ally08 Posts: 167 Member
    I think you have a great attitude! I think what a lot of people fail to remember when they are on their MFP journey is, no day is going to be perfect. Everyone messes up and that's okay, its a part of life! However, you made a good point in saying if you do mess up on a meal, you would not let it ruin your day and I think that's great. I know for me, I used to think if I messed up one meal, my whole day was ruined and so I'd just eat an excessive amount of calories.

    Now, I have learned to enjoy the foods I love in moderation and try to make small changes. So far its exchanging one meal for a salad as much as possible and drinking lots of water! :)

    Best of luck to you and thank you for your service as a hospice nurse. My best friend who passed away over a year ago was in hospice and I know the nurses really made a difference in her last days here. Keep up the great work :)
  • prairiedawg2014
    prairiedawg2014 Posts: 367
    your positive attitude will definately help you in all areas! you can do this debbie! its worth every ounce of hard work just to rid your body of the pain its feeling, not to mention the health benefits. good luck and i wish you much success :flowerforyou:

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