Significant others??

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Amanda82691
Amanda82691 Posts: 298 Member
in Motivation and Support
For those of you who have significant others do you guys work as a team in supporting and motivating each other? Maybe your not even on the same page with each other when it comes to health and the healthy life style? Either way I wanna hear how you guys make it work.

My hubby and I aren't on the same page at all. While I am totally in this wanting great results and knowing and more then willing to put in the work and effort to get there he isn't. He wants to lose some weight but he isn't willing to put in the work. I am thinking that maybe once I get further in my goals and he starts to see how I can do it then he might think he can too? What do you all think and suggest?
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  • palmerig88
    palmerig88 Posts: 623 Member
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    If/When he really wants it, he will be willing to put in the work. If he is stuck in the phase that he wants it to just magically happen, he is not ready.

    We've all been there though so don't look down on him, just be there for him when he asks for your help if he eventually does. Focus on your goals and do the best you can for yourself but don't let it put a damper on your relationship, don't be disappointed if he doesn't want to join you right now. Maybe someday he will.
  • coolsmartygirl
    coolsmartygirl Posts: 299 Member
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    My boyfriend has gained a lot of weight, as I have over the last two years of our relationship. I would try hard lose some he would try hard and lose some, but never at the same time. He finally got himself the FitBit and that caused him to care more about what he was doing and eating throughout the day. I wanted one too so we got one for me and now we compare sets, sleep, and calories burned. It is harder for me sometime because he is taller so he can eat more calories throughout the day than I can... To me, I always wanted that support from him and I am glad we currently are working towards a better goal together now. He even decided it might be best to get an elliptical for us in the living room.
  • teelynn35
    teelynn35 Posts: 239 Member
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    my s/o and I run together a few times a week. He is way farther advanced than I am, so he does it just to support me. We also try to eat healthier together. For me it's easier to stay on track when we're doing this as a team.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I support my boyfriend in everything he takes seriously, even if they're not the same things I take seriously.

    He wasn't interested in weight loss until this August, when I spent a month with him. He saw how sick the foods he ate every day made me and something clicked in his head - maybe he'd feel better if he cut them out. He's been with me on MFP since then!
  • Thick2Fit1991
    Thick2Fit1991 Posts: 27
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    I have a significant other (Hubby) and he is actually more into it that me. He can work out strict 30-45mins a day doing heavy cardio and weight lifting. I on the other hand struggle to do 10 minutes, twice a week.... I weigh less then him of course, but I am over my healthy BMI.. I am what you would call the bad influence. I think it really depends where you each stand with weight loss and what your goals are. I have baby fat to lose from two children, he has "getting to comfortable" and losing his muscle , we are on two different pages... but we care differently and have different goals. Keep at it, do what works for you, and one day he will do what works for him. PLUS men have this thing called an EGO, and if he sees you getting sexy and in shape he is going to want to do the same!
  • Amanda82691
    Amanda82691 Posts: 298 Member
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    If/When he really wants it, he will be willing to put in the work. If he is stuck in the phase that he wants it to just magically happen, he is not ready.

    We've all been there though so don't look down on him, just be there for him when he asks for your help if he eventually does. Focus on your goals and do the best you can for yourself but don't let it put a damper on your relationship, don't be disappointed if he doesn't want to join you right now. Maybe someday he will.

    You are 10000% right. I know he isn't, and that is why I hope that once I get furtur in my goals and I get more progress then he sees that it is possible and gets more motivated. lol
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    My husband is really supportive of me losing weight. He could stand to lose a bit himself, but he knows this and doesn't need me on his case. He'll eat the healthy dinners I make for us both - we both look after ourselves for breakfast and lunch.
  • katiefridley
    katiefridley Posts: 151 Member
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    My boyfriend is so supportive of what I am doing to make my life more fulfilling. He knows I like to tell him what I eat at the end of every day when we chat on the phone, so now he preemptively asks me, "So, what did you eat today, babe?". It is so cute. However, he comes up every other weekend and that is my time to eat pretty much what I want.

    He isn't making changes himself though and he could probably lose 15 lbs or so. I am not gonna force or pressure him, especially because we don't live together.
  • m0ll3pprz
    m0ll3pprz Posts: 193 Member
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    I bet you will be a good influence on him :-) He will come around to the idea when he's ready so I think you should just continue on your path to fitness! Ya know what else, he will benefit from your healthy eating and cooking habits too so... you are actually already going to help him move toward a positive change! Good luck!
  • francesiax
    francesiax Posts: 53
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    Both me and my boyfriend are losing weight together. Him much quicker than me as he does exercise everyday I just can't seem to do that. When it comes to working out we're very supportive of eachother. If you want your boyfriend to work out with you maybe just ask? Say you would like more of his support during your journey and you think it would benefit you both.
  • treehopper1987
    treehopper1987 Posts: 505 Member
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    When you are not on the same page, it can make losing weight difficult. I have done the best in my weight loss goals when my husband was working out with me and helping me make better decisions. However, we took a 3 month break in diet plans (not intentional) and we gained a lot back. I have been doing better, but he hasn't got that motivation yet. In the meantime, I am focusing on what makes me happy and healthy, and trying to help him along the way.
  • mightyminerva
    mightyminerva Posts: 145 Member
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    My boyfriend grew up with curries and naan bread, so vegetables are something I'm trying to introduce gradually. He fully supports me, but he's not going to give up the foods he loves! I eat in moderation, and when I cook something like salmon and vegetables I make sure that something else is on the side for him (bread, rice, etc.).

    I suppose the best we can do is try to nudge our partners in a healthier direction slowly. I've bought a nonstick frying pan to eliminate the need for so much oil, he knows that I'm a fruit-a-holic and so has become a fan, too, and I make sure that the dishes I cook are full of vegetables.

    On date nights, I always figure out a way to incorporate some walking, too. Perhaps try some fun activities you can both enjoy which don't actually seem like exercise?

    Half of the battle is having a partner who supports you. Does your husband comment on your progress and understand that you are doing this for you? If not, perhaps the first step is talking with him about your goals and the changes you've made. Then you can follow that up with sneaking in the healthier foods and activities!
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 1,003 Member
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    my hubs used to be built like a freaking god when we met....well, ppl change, lol...we both did. now im in the best shape of my life and stay home with the kids (so ihave time to do this thing). he works out of town and travels alot, not always the best food choices or a gym around for him to use. i know he wants to be in better shape, but working 16hr days and travelling back n forth constantly is killing him! i hope he will see how much we need him to be healthy one day soon, and how much his heart and health need him to change also. im actually scared that he will have a heart attack sooner than later, hes been on blood pressure meds for 3yrs already and hes only 31 :frown:
  • loliblullama
    loliblullama Posts: 140 Member
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    My partner is on here too. The fact she uses MFP is actually quite nice because it helps us both remember to log everything. I do find it quite hard losing weight with her tho because she loses weight a lot easier than I do and puts on weight a lot harder whereas I only have to read the word donut and I swell up like a house :ohwell:
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    I am thinking that maybe once I get further in my goals and he starts to see how I can do it then he might think he can too? What do you all think and suggest?

    Exactly. Don't nag or push. Focus on your goals, and soon he'll see the results.

    I've had a few friends ask me about my diet and exercise routine, after losing weight. One is installing a home gym based on my recommendations. Another has joined MFP. I never said anything to them about my new eating habits, or what I do at the gym. They just saw the results and decided to copy it.

    Good luck.

    --P
  • YogaRunner
    YogaRunner Posts: 652 Member
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    This is a great topic. My blog is totally focused on helping couples get fit together. Check it out if you like. Coachrisa.com
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
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    Different goals.

    His - to be ripped, lift heavy, see abs.

    Me - To fit into reasonable pants sizes, stay that way, be comfortable with myself and look good in clothes and better than I used to without. Also, long distance biking. I do not care about muscles. And in fact, not a fan of abs.

    I think accepting that we are on totally different pages was necessary, because until then it was miserable. Now I do my thing, he does his, whatever.
  • gauchogirl
    gauchogirl Posts: 467 Member
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    All you can really do is lead by example. I never said a word to my husband about his weight and after about 8 months and a loss of 30 lbs (me), he started making small steps on his own. He saw enough success on his own that it helped him stay motivated and then co-workers started noticing and he's lost 40-50 himself now. He doesn't put as much "effort" (emphasis?) into it, like I think I do (he doesn't exercise, just eats better) but it's a lot easier to get him to go on an easy walk with me 1-2 a week, even if he won't hike or go to the gym with me. We each have our own methods and your guy just needs to work it out for himself. Seeing your progress will be a great example.
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
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    My Fiance is already very physically fit. He is a minor league baseball player and has always been active. When I decided I wanted to get healthier, he was 100% on my side. He loved me either way, but when he saw how important it was for me, he did everything and anything I needed. He is already a great cook, but he was more thoughtful to my needs in how he prepared out meals. Even when it came to eating Dinner out, he tossed our usual places out the window and encouraged us to try new, healthier options.

    He insisted on paying for my gym membership when I told him I wanted to join. And he is always will to take me out shopping for new clothes and new workout gear. He even wakes up early with me to go for a run or to partner up in a Yoga Session. And we go for a 2 hour hike every Sunday with our 2 dogs. He has completely adapted to my lifestyle and I couldn't be more grateful!

    I owe at least half of my success to him!
  • scythswife
    scythswife Posts: 1,123 Member
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    My hubby is in no way wanting to work out or concerned with losing weight even though he needs too. I have fond that just me cooking healthier has caused him to go down in pants size. We still have a lot of junk food around and we have 4 kids but we all now eat it in moderation and everyone likes eating healthier stuff and trying new things.

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