My baby is better than your baby!

Jenny_Taylia
Jenny_Taylia Posts: 540 Member
in Chit-Chat
Me and this person who used to be my friend had our babies about 2 months apart....her baby is older. Lets just say her name is Sarah.
My now 1 yr old, Deven...was born with BiLateral clubbed feet. He had to spend from 2 weeks old until 8 months old in casts that went up to his groin and then a few months in special boots the attached both the feet together with a bar between the shoes. Sarah would always say things like "omg I cant believe he isnt crawling yet" and always brag what her baby can do that Deven cant. And whenever I would say something that Deven accomplished, she would immediately say how her baby did it earlier and better. If I said yay! Deven has 2 teeth she would say my baby has 6!

Now Deven surprisingly started walking the night of his first birthday and to this day he is now officially running around....Sarahs baby cant. Deven walked up to Sarah one day and all she said was ya , my baby can do that too he just doesnt wanna show anyone. Then one day outside Deven ran right up to her and she just stuck her nose in the air and completely ignore him. Not one single Good for you Deven! Never!

I have never been one to compete in baby competitions but this just makes me so upset. For someone who the doctors say isnt even supposed to be walking yet, he is doing a damn good job...why cant just say she is proud of him or something? Or am I just being over dramatic about the whole thing?

Replies

  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    Everybody likes their own brand. That goes for more than just farts. It fits offspring too. Don't sweat it. Be proud of your kid.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    You are being dramatic because it's not someone else's responsibility to compliment you on your children and you don't NEED someone else to do it. I'm sorry to say that you are going to spend a large proportion of your life disappointed if you expect other's to behave the way want them to. .There are very few people left with manners or any sense of decorum. This individual you mention is an extreme case and is commonly known in the industry as a total b**ch. . You deal her by extricating her from your life.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
    This is going to go on for their entire lives. "Oh, MY son got an A+ on his math test. Yours won a Nobel Prize? That's nice, I guess, but mine also won first prize in the potato sack race on field day. He's better than yours. Tell me he's better. Oh, please, PLEASE validate me."

    It's great to be into your own kids more than others' (I mean, that's how it generally works), but it's a whole other thing to be so into your own that you can't even acknowledge, let alone celebrate, other kids' accomplishments. Sarah sounds incredibly insecure, and I would just keep my distance if I could. People like that aren't worth the effort or heartache they can cause.
  • Jenny_Taylia
    Jenny_Taylia Posts: 540 Member
    You are being dramatic because it's not someone else's responsibility to compliment you on your children and you don't NEED someone else to do it. I'm sorry to say that you are going to spend a large proportion of your life disappointed if you expect other's to behave the way want them to. .There are very few people left with manners or any sense of decorum. This individual you mention is an extreme case and is commonly known in the industry as a total b**ch. . You deal her by extricating her from your life.


    I dont "need" her to compliment my baby. Its just that hearing her go on and on and on about how great her baby is andme always replying Thats great!!! or awww thats so cute....but finally when I get a word in about my baby....nothing...Ya know?
  • PicklePlum
    PicklePlum Posts: 192 Member
    Sarah sounds incredibly insecure, and I would just keep my distance if I could. People like that aren't worth the effort or heartache they can cause.

    This. She's obviously causing you distress and not worth your time.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    You are being dramatic because it's not someone else's responsibility to compliment you on your children and you don't NEED someone else to do it. I'm sorry to say that you are going to spend a large proportion of your life disappointed if you expect other's to behave the way want them to. .There are very few people left with manners or any sense of decorum. This individual you mention is an extreme case and is commonly known in the industry as a total b**ch. . You deal her by extricating her from your life.
    True, that. Imagine what she would be like if she became somebody's step mom.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    You are being dramatic because it's not someone else's responsibility to compliment you on your children and you don't NEED someone else to do it. I'm sorry to say that you are going to spend a large proportion of your life disappointed if you expect other's to behave the way want them to. .There are very few people left with manners or any sense of decorum. This individual you mention is an extreme case and is commonly known in the industry as a total b**ch. . You deal her by extricating her from your life.


    I dont "need" her to compliment my baby. Its just that hearing her go on and on and on about how great her baby is andme always replying Thats great!!! or awww thats so cute....but finally when I get a word in about my baby....nothing...Ya know?

    You are being a kind, genuine, person and it will serve you well. . She is what she is. . Of course she should recognize the amazing progress your baby has made. but even if she did, you know it would be bullsh*t.

    Or. .you could just start rubbing it in. . like really rubbing it in. . "That's so sad that your baby still can't walk. .and it's really surprising that my baby can actually run, given the casts and all. . does your baby talk. .do you think your baby might have been dropped on her head when she was an infant?" . etc. .
  • Jenny_Taylia
    Jenny_Taylia Posts: 540 Member
    You are being dramatic because it's not someone else's responsibility to compliment you on your children and you don't NEED someone else to do it. I'm sorry to say that you are going to spend a large proportion of your life disappointed if you expect other's to behave the way want them to. .There are very few people left with manners or any sense of decorum. This individual you mention is an extreme case and is commonly known in the industry as a total b**ch. . You deal her by extricating her from your life.


    I dont "need" her to compliment my baby. Its just that hearing her go on and on and on about how great her baby is andme always replying Thats great!!! or awww thats so cute....but finally when I get a word in about my baby....nothing...Ya know?

    You are being a kind, genuine, person and it will serve you well. . She is what she is. . Of course she should recognize the amazing progress your baby has made. but even if she did, you know it would be bullsh*t.

    Or. .you could just start rubbing it in. . like really rubbing it in. . "That's so sad that your baby still can't walk. .and it's really surprising that my baby can actually run, given the casts and all. . does your baby talk. .do you think your baby might have been dropped on her head when she was an infant?" . etc. .



    OMG! I would never!!!! hahaha
  • bennysammysofie
    bennysammysofie Posts: 331
    OMG! Thats crazy your "friend" is like that. Time for a new friend. You dont worry about your baby. I had the same EXACT thing with the same EXACT casts with the bar. My dad told me he would swing me by them all the time! I went on to play every sport then eventually earning a football scholarship. Tell your friend to shove her lil digging questions up her *kitten*. Your little one will be just fine.
  • dg730
    dg730 Posts: 62
    I dont think shes a good friend. I feel for her child. I love my friends children and some of them I love like my own. Although I may not like some of their mothers as much as I do their children.lol.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    just tell her that one day her baby will be working for your baby.

    :bigsmile:
  • MyPsalm63
    MyPsalm63 Posts: 303
    I can see how that would bother you. However, don't let it. Be proud of your child. The great things HE is doing. Maybe your friend doesn't realize you're hurt by this, or how she's coming off. She may just be very proud of her child too. If you're this bothered by it, just bring it up to her (kindly). Personally, I would just let it be. She probably is just one very proud Mama, as are you.
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  • liesevanlingen
    liesevanlingen Posts: 508 Member
    I have four children and I got out of the Mommy competition thing a long time ago. Three of them have learning disabilities (dyslexia, ADHD, serious vision issues.) But I love my kids and that's good enough for me. When other people brag about their kids I will say something like "Oh, that's nice", or "Good for him/her!" but I try very hard to refrain from the "Well, MY kid can...." response. It's tough, but I think your "friend" must be very insecure. I feel sorry for her baby, having to live up to that kind of pressure. If her mom doesn't smarten up, she's either going to be raising a very uptight, "I always have to be better than everyone else" little perfectionist, or her kid will hit the teen years and turn into a total rebel. I know someone just like that--her child is always perfect, mine never measure up. Big deal. MY kids are happy. And that's better than perfect any day.
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
    I really feel for you!
    My 3rd child is 13 now and had Asperger's Syndrome, it's a type of autism.
    He didn't speak until he was 4, he didn't speak in school until 12 months ago when he went to a new school!
    He gets very stressed when things change, and gets angry at surprises.
    One woman who i thought was my friend, went into school and said she didn't want her daughter playing with my son once he had his diagnosis. That really hurt. I dropped her from the minute I found out what she had done.
    My son is a lovely boy, he's funny and clever, He makes me smile so much!
    My real friends love my son for who he is, as do my family. I have realised that life is too short to waste time with unsupportive people, and I've not regretted it!
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
    I think we all agree that without any potential issues in the picture, we all think our kid is the best, cutest, most smart kid to ever walk the planet.

    But friends like that annoy me - and then to compare when comparing just isn't even fair, that really stinks.

    I would avoid your friend... you can find better playmates, because you better believe that this will continue. FOREVER.
  • misslindseylou
    misslindseylou Posts: 141 Member
    Your friend doesn't sound like a good friend, to be honest. She sounds like someone who's trying to gain validation and feel better about herself through her kid, not herself- and it seems like she's using YOUR kid to make YOU feel bad about yourself. Not really fair to you or the babies that way, in my opinion. =( Maybe it's time to find a new mommy friend or let your friend know that you're not competing for Best Mommy of the Year.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    just tell her that one day her baby will be working for your baby.

    :bigsmile:
    [/quote

    This one works really well for us moms of aspies, when hearing all about the sports accomplishments. Of course I have never actually said it, but have thought it on many occasions!

    To the OP, I have a good friend whose son had the exact same thing. He was really kinda cute with the board, as I thought he looked like the toy soldiers on Toy Story, but I do know how hard it was on his parents to see him go thru that. No one would have EVER criticized his developments and we were all super supportive and celebrated every accomplishment he made. He is 8 now and had hopefully his last surgery last year to 'turn' his legs. The doctors literally cut his leg bones in half and straightened them. His parents agonized over that decision and waited as long as they could before finally deciding to do it. Surgery was a success and he was walking again long before the drs said he would. Now that little man is RUNNING everywhere and you could never tell that he ever had a problem.

    You hang in there and love your little one as only you can. Sounds like your 'friend' is a bit self-absorbed. You might want to find a better one,
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    I'm so happy your son is doing so well! :) I'm sure it would bother a person when you take the time to praise their child and they say nothing in return. Some people are like that. It all about them. Sometimes it takes a person a while to figure out life. Until then it's all about me, me, me. :) The good news is that you already know right from wrong. You and your son are already ahead of the game and passed her right up! :)
  • HurricaneElaine
    HurricaneElaine Posts: 984 Member
    You don't need such negativity in your life. Cut this 'friend' loose, is my advice.
  • GorgeouslyGRN
    GorgeouslyGRN Posts: 6
    You aren't being over dramatic about this at all. A person can only take so much before it gets to them-that's only natural for someone who cares about their kids. What you could do to try to help you deal with people like that is try to look at it like why they feel the need to impress you so much. Maybe you are an amazing mother or were great at everything? or always got the guys or were good at school? or Maybe she has someone at home always putting her down? What ever the reason she feels threatened by you and you should take that as the compliment of you and how great your son is. Also you should probably talk to her about how this is making you feel and if either she blows you off or it continues then maybe you need to cut your ties. I have run into this before myself and I try not to let it bother me, but it sometimes does and I have to address it immediately for my kids and myself. This not only helps to avoid tention and unnecissary stress, but it helps to set a geed example for my kids. I hope this helps and I wish you good luck hun =)
  • Jenny_Taylia
    Jenny_Taylia Posts: 540 Member
    Thanks everyone so much for your replies :) I feel a lot better about the whole situation. I have been trying to avoid her but she is my neighbor so its tough. and its also because she is my neighbor that I have to play nice to avoid unnecessary drama and tension. My little boy is amazing. The doctors told us he was going to be born with downs syndrome so Im very thankful he was born the way he was. I am incredibaly attached to this baby and Im very over protective of him.
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    Lol mama drama.
  • dcurzon
    dcurzon Posts: 653 Member
    smash her in the face with an ashtray and ask if her kid can do that yet?

    edit: ps. well done Deven :o)
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
    sorry, but all three of my babies are better

    Well done to your son x
  • know_your_worth
    know_your_worth Posts: 481 Member
    I would drop Sarah from my life. She sounds immature. This story could make it on the script of Teen Mom....
  • StarIsMoving
    StarIsMoving Posts: 437
    Sarah sounds incredibly insecure, and I would just keep my distance if I could. People like that aren't worth the effort or heartache they can cause.

    This. She's obviously causing you distress and not worth your time.

    This ^^ It sucks to admit. When you have been tight with someone who can't see outside of their own bubble, it is hard. Reality though, things can change people. Having a baby obviously changed her if she was different beforehand. What I can say, is I have 2 disabled kids out of my 3.... and "I" give them a TON of praise for every accomplishment and WOW have they accomplished a TON with that in their corner. If Sarah isn't seeing anything but her kid, that's cool...but your situation sometimes it is nice to find some people that will help you also be a cheerleader. Move on. You need to show this person nothing, or gain any acceptance... she won't notice with her head shoved up her own *kitten* so far anyway ;)

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