Some advice needed
Sojaided34
Posts: 113
Ok so here's the situation. On the weekend, my sister told me her boyfriend (of one year) would be joining us for taking the kids out for halloween. I didn't really comment but was upset because this is one day out of the year my sister and I do a fun thing with the kids. So I let it go. The problem is this:
The other day, the boyfriend says to me "I really would like it if we could bypass your whole street, because it will be awkward if I see my ex girlfriend's child because he loves me and I think it would be awkward for me to try to explain why I'm not around" He also suggested for my boyfriend to stay at my house with him so he didn't feel awkward in the possibility of running into said kid. I was speechless. First off I never invited him to my house to go trick or treating (I found out he invited himself because my sister didn't even want him to come). Secondly, him and this ex haven't been together for I'd say at least 3 years. So this kid might not even recognize him, the kid is 9 now so would have been 6 when they were together. The girl has moved on with someone else and has a 10 month old daughter. It's not even her that lives there, it's her mother. It's possible that they won't even be there because it's halloween. And why bypass my whole street when it's one house? It's possible he may run into him while just walking our neighborhood. Third, he wants my boyfriend not to take out his own two kids because of his feelings?
I want to text my sister and tell her what he said but I don't want to cause a fight. He hasn't told her his ex's mother even lives near me. I kind of want to tell her he's not welcome. He's the kind of guy who always has to do things with her no matter what. Because he was married before and his wife never wanted to do things with him. For instance, she came to my house on the day that his family was doing thanksgiving. She made plans to come over and after he tells her about the dinner. So she says she's not cancelling on me and he was to go by himself. He argued with her for a half hour before leaving my house. It's like he can't let her have her own time yet he does like charity and community things that she doesn't go to. Side note: she was with another guy for 7 years and never once did he come along to anything me and her planned with the kids. Because he respected family time.
So any thoughts how I should handle this situation? And should I just let it go or tell her what he said? Thanks.
The other day, the boyfriend says to me "I really would like it if we could bypass your whole street, because it will be awkward if I see my ex girlfriend's child because he loves me and I think it would be awkward for me to try to explain why I'm not around" He also suggested for my boyfriend to stay at my house with him so he didn't feel awkward in the possibility of running into said kid. I was speechless. First off I never invited him to my house to go trick or treating (I found out he invited himself because my sister didn't even want him to come). Secondly, him and this ex haven't been together for I'd say at least 3 years. So this kid might not even recognize him, the kid is 9 now so would have been 6 when they were together. The girl has moved on with someone else and has a 10 month old daughter. It's not even her that lives there, it's her mother. It's possible that they won't even be there because it's halloween. And why bypass my whole street when it's one house? It's possible he may run into him while just walking our neighborhood. Third, he wants my boyfriend not to take out his own two kids because of his feelings?
I want to text my sister and tell her what he said but I don't want to cause a fight. He hasn't told her his ex's mother even lives near me. I kind of want to tell her he's not welcome. He's the kind of guy who always has to do things with her no matter what. Because he was married before and his wife never wanted to do things with him. For instance, she came to my house on the day that his family was doing thanksgiving. She made plans to come over and after he tells her about the dinner. So she says she's not cancelling on me and he was to go by himself. He argued with her for a half hour before leaving my house. It's like he can't let her have her own time yet he does like charity and community things that she doesn't go to. Side note: she was with another guy for 7 years and never once did he come along to anything me and her planned with the kids. Because he respected family time.
So any thoughts how I should handle this situation? And should I just let it go or tell her what he said? Thanks.
0
Replies
-
You should've nipped it right when she started the conversation. "I'm going to bring my boyfriend along trick or treating with us." "Y'know, I really would like it to be us. It's our only fun time that we do together with the kids."
But since you didn't do that, have that conversation now. "Hey, I just wanted to talk to you really quick about my feelings about us being Halloween you and I and my kids." No need to bring up the conversation he had with you. He sounds like a fruit if you ask me. I would make sure that you make your point known that you'd like it to just be the two of you and emphasis that this is your only fun thing with the kids that you do all year.
If she's not willing to compromise, then try to get her to do something else with just you and the kids. If he tries to butt in on that, then bring up that he sounds like a controlling manipulative sissy boy that needs to be involved in everything. Good luck!0 -
Don't let him be in charge. This is a fun thing for you to do with your kids and sister. You may have to let him come along, but do NOT let him dictate where you trick or treat! I'd tell your sister what he said to show her what a doofus he is.0
-
You should've nipped it right when she started the conversation. "I'm going to bring my boyfriend along trick or treating with us." "Y'know, I really would like it to be us. It's our only fun time that we do together with the kids."
But since you didn't do that, have that conversation now. "Hey, I just wanted to talk to you really quick about my feelings about us being Halloween you and I and my kids." No need to bring up the conversation he had with you. He sounds like a fruit if you ask me. I would make sure that you make your point known that you'd like it to just be the two of you and emphasis that this is your only fun thing with the kids that you do all year.
If she's not willing to compromise, then try to get her to do something else with just you and the kids. If he tries to butt in on that, then bring up that he sounds like a controlling manipulative sissy boy that needs to be involved in everything. Good luck!
I concur...0 -
Thanks ladies. I actually did have a conversation with her prior to her telling me he was coming (probably about 2 weeks ago). I made a comment "I hope Halloween will just be us because I don't want a repeat of thanksgiving" She said that he was going to be gone for work. Because he was originally supposed to be gone. I think he has this attitude like "what am i supposed to do if you're not here." forgot to mention he's 40 years old.0
-
I say go trick or treating as planned. If he doesn't feel comfortable walking down your street because of an ex gf, he can join you guys when you turn down the street away from the ex's house.
The issue is his and his alone. I wouldn't change your plans on account of his immature fears of bumping into an ex and/or her child.0 -
Thanks ladies. I actually did have a conversation with her prior to her telling me he was coming (probably about 2 weeks ago). I made a comment "I hope Halloween will just be us because I don't want a repeat of thanksgiving" She said that he was going to be gone for work. Because he was originally supposed to be gone. I think he has this attitude like "what am i supposed to do if you're not here." forgot to mention he's 40 years old.
Ugh. Sounds like she has bigger issues than Halloween and Thanksgiving. That's annoying. Get him a coloring book or something.0 -
Thanks ladies. I actually did have a conversation with her prior to her telling me he was coming (probably about 2 weeks ago). I made a comment "I hope Halloween will just be us because I don't want a repeat of thanksgiving" She said that he was going to be gone for work. Because he was originally supposed to be gone. I think he has this attitude like "what am i supposed to do if you're not here." forgot to mention he's 40 years old.
Ugh. Sounds like she has bigger issues than Halloween and Thanksgiving. That's annoying. Get him a coloring book or something.
I was thinking a walk to the curb and a bus ticket0 -
I think hes still with the ex and doesnt want the kid to dime him out0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 394.8K Introduce Yourself
- 44K Getting Started
- 260.6K Health and Weight Loss
- 176.2K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.7K Fitness and Exercise
- 444 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153.2K Motivation and Support
- 8.2K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 4.1K MyFitnessPal Information
- 16 News and Announcements
- 1.3K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.8K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions