Just ballparking, I ate 4k calories today

grab him by his man bits and say "here's the deal, no more bs we are doing this".

I think you need to focus on yourself instead. Do you want it bad enough? If you've already both come to a realization, just lead by example. Do a good job and if he asks then lend your advice and support.

grab him by his man bits and say "here's the deal, no more bs we are doing this".
Do your best to bring him with you, one of the last things you want to do is sacrifice your relationship. Explain to him that you need his support and the best support he can give is doing it right alongside you.

And I need to not do that ever again, except on like... holidays and my birthday. I keep telling myself "oh, I just need to exercise and it'll be fine", but I haven't wanted to admit that my eating's gotten out of control again. My boyfriend and I both just chow through $100 worth of groceries in a week, and overdo it especially on the junk food and sugar. My weight gain isn't as noticeable as his because I'm already fat, but we need to buckle down and do this ****.

Any couples out there losing weight together? Please add me. I'd like to talk with someone who's already worked out how to gently tell your partner that it's time to get serious, that their portions are just too big sometimes, that drinking water IS important, and so is eliminating soda, and to accept when *they* say those same or similar things to you. How to motivate each other to exercise when all you want to do is lay around and be on the computer or watch TV. Any tips / warnings / activity suggestions. Much appreciated

I think you need to focus on yourself instead. Do you want it bad enough? If you've already both come to a realization, just lead by example. Do a good job and if he asks then lend your advice and support.

Right. Just do it, in the words of Nike. There's no other way.

I'm lucky to have a significant other that is supportive (and 140 pounds soaking wet) in my weight loss. It is harder when we're together because one of the things people do to share time together is eat so I can stay focused easier when I'm by myself.

The MOST important thing I've learned is that it takes a LOT of time. I told myself I would try this thing for a year. A whole year. The time is going to pass whether I stuff my face and get fatter or focus on me and get fitter, so why not just TRY. Eating junk constantly isn't making me thinner, so why not try something new.

The second most important thing I've learned is that a bad day, a few bad days or even a week of crummy eating is not going to deter all your hard work in the long run. If you work hard for two months and then life happens and you eat junk for 10 days straight, you are not going to gain every thing back. You will gain something, mostly water and bloat weight, but as long as the good days grossly out number the bad (say, 48 weeks out of 52 in a year) you WILL see results.

When I first started, my best decisions were eating a regular hamburger and small fries over a big mac meal at mcdonalds. Then, I bought a lot more quick foods to have at home. Pre-portioned things like a single serving mac and cheese or single serving beeferoni. It got me into the groove of counting calories and learning my boundaries.

Then, I wanted to eat more food because I was still hungry, so I just added in vegetables and fruits. Heaped my plate with double the vegetables and just one serving of meat and potatoes. I could eat a lot more bulk and feel less hungry. If you can't fathom cutting out the oreos and donuts, start out by buying 100 calorie packs. Even if you eat three of them, you can SEE WHERE your calories are going. Eventually, it'll click that you want to eat more actual food and it's just not worth the value of calories in junk.