Can't a girl get some support from the Fam?

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momtobe06
momtobe06 Posts: 81 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been working out & eating right since May. I have lost 13 lbs and 8 inches, I am just a few lbs from achieving my short term goal weight.... but I am far from finished. Now I am looking for new challenges and lifting weights. 13 lbs may not sound like much, but on my short frame.. that is a big achievement. I have received zero support from my all female family or co-workers. I may get a snotty comment from a heavier co-worker how it must be nice to " be skinny and be able to wear whatever I want "......I suppose that can be taken as a back handed complement and I so want to say " I work out 5 days a week to look & feel healthy... this does not come easy to me Lady".. but instead I just smile.


Losing weight & shaping up no matter if its 15 lbs you need to lose or 50 is hard.. the same amount of work and motivation needs to happen. While my transformation may not be jaw dropping or note worthy, I have worked my butt off just the same. I get that if I am already one of the smaller girls in my family or workplace that the compliments are not going to be flowing.... but I would love a " way to go" or "congrats" now & then when I update my blog or facebook. I am chalking it up to catty females who are not mature enough to be really supportive.

You can read about my journey and see my weight loss progress pics by visiting my blog: http://strongisthenewskinny12.blogspot.com/

Thank Goodness for MFP

Replies

  • Pekelder
    Pekelder Posts: 5
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    Know what you're going through, but yeah.. after all it's you who has to do the job, how hard it may be. A compliment from the ones you loved wouldn't be bad at all. But you go girl! (even though I'm not close ;-) )
  • cbirdso
    cbirdso Posts: 465 Member
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    Way to go and congrats!
  • chimneymom
    chimneymom Posts: 7
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    It's very threatening to see someone succeed where you have failed (or know you need to try but haven't). You are encountering people who don't know how to deal with your success. Find someone you can share victories with (even one person IRL) and keep coming back here for support. You are right - this is tough and it definitely helps to hear those atta girl's and way to go's.
  • deineira
    deineira Posts: 75 Member
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    What is it that they say, "Haters are going to hate"...just remember that.

    I think that one of the things that causes people to have the reaction that you're experiencing is that they're not really thinking about your progress or your hard work, instead they are fixated on what that means to them in regards to their lack of those things. For some people, particularly ones that are insecure or unhappy with themselves, they will see your progress as a reminder that they are not taking the steps they should to take better care of themselves. This makes them feel guilty and get angry, and they are lashing out at you because they're actually angry with themselves. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's more about them than it is about you, so your reaction of just smiling and moving on is really the best you can do.
  • jlt1968
    jlt1968 Posts: 77 Member
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    You've done a great job keep up the work. Its paying off, think of there none comments as support that their just jealous of all your hard work and wished they looked the way you do.
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,142 Member
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    know how you feel :/ im only 5'1" and only lost 30lbs but ive lost at least 8 sizes and my family still pretty much call me fat and were telling me(when i was in oklahoma) that i shouldnt work out and all kinds of stuff. . . i would tell my gma "i lost 20lbs and 5 sizes" she would just say "hmmm" then later on she would say "your aunt has lost such and such isnt she looking great?!?!" yes she is. i gave up on trying to get support from them. heck the other day i told my gma i got a personal trainer n she said "what did you get really fat?!?!" "no i need to lose more."
  • jman9
    jman9 Posts: 1
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    For whatever reason it seems that a select few in society just find it difficult to impossible to be civil. So sad...

    I checked out your blog and you are doing great! Your hard work shows!!

    Smiles for you!!
  • bcf7683
    bcf7683 Posts: 1,653 Member
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    Same boat. I've actually lost some girl friends along the way... The funny thing is, we're actually the same size now, and they still make snotty comments about how "skinny" I am now... I can't help that I intimidate them or something ridiculous like that. And my boyfriend's mother.... UGH. THE biggest non-supporter I've run into. Every time we eat dinner at her house it's always "No, Brittany doesn't want any bread/macaroni&cheese/whatever, she's on a DIET." NO! I'm not on a diet, I eat healthy. A diet is what she does when she decides to eat salads for two weeks and lose a couple pounds to only rebound and gain all the weight back.

    It's ridiculous how the people close to you get jealous instead of supportive. I didn't change my life to intimidate them, it's to make MYSELF feel better! :noway:
  • momtobe06
    momtobe06 Posts: 81 Member
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    Thanks Everyone.... it's nice to know that I am not alone
  • momtobe06
    momtobe06 Posts: 81 Member
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    What is it that they say, "Haters are going to hate"...just remember that.

    I think that one of the things that causes people to have the reaction that you're experiencing is that they're not really thinking about your progress or your hard work, instead they are fixated on what that means to them in regards to their lack of those things. For some people, particularly ones that are insecure or unhappy with themselves, they will see your progress as a reminder that they are not taking the steps they should to take better care of themselves. This makes them feel guilty and get angry, and they are lashing out at you because they're actually angry with themselves. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's more about them than it is about you, so your reaction of just smiling and moving on is really the best you can do.

    exactly..... this is what I suspect as well
  • momtobe06
    momtobe06 Posts: 81 Member
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    Same boat. I've actually lost some girl friends along the way... The funny thing is, we're actually the same size now, and they still make snotty comments about how "skinny" I am now... I can't help that I intimidate them or something ridiculous like that. And my boyfriend's mother.... UGH. THE biggest non-supporter I've run into. Every time we eat dinner at her house it's always "No, Brittany doesn't want any bread/macaroni&cheese/whatever, she's on a DIET." NO! I'm not on a diet, I eat healthy. A diet is what she does when she decides to eat salads for two weeks and lose a couple pounds to only rebound and gain all the weight back.

    It's ridiculous how the people close to you get jealous instead of supportive. I didn't change my life to intimidate them, it's to make MYSELF feel better! :noway:

    glad to know I am not alone in this.... sucks about your Bf's Mom.
  • momtobe06
    momtobe06 Posts: 81 Member
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    http://strongisthenewskinny12.blogspot.com/

    If you go to my blog, the side area has tabs to help you navigate the blog

    progress pics are under

    progress
    weekly updates

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