Feeling like I blew it

I feel the same way

I think we all go through that. The key is to just keep going. So what if you ate a whole pizza yesterday in a fit of depression and self loathing? That was yesterday. It's what you going to do today that counts the most.

Three years ago I had convinced myself that my body was what it was, there was nothing I could do to change it. My mom was fat, my sisters were fat, it was in my genes to be fat. I mean, I had good blood pressure and cholesterol, so I was healthy, but weighing in at 215 pounds and 5'3" tall I had given up. Then I saw a friend who had lost 80 pounds on weight watchers and I figured, if she can, I can. A year and a half later I was down 70 pounds. My last 20 are giving me a really hard time, and I won't lie, I've been dress shopping for an event I have to go to and much of the time I still see me at 215 pounds. It's really hard to wrap your head around it, but you just have to take each day as it comes and do your best. Some weeks you'll lose, some weeks you'll gain, but every week you TRY brings you closer to succeeding. I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds for almost a year now, and it is frustrating, but I'm not happy where I am and I want those last 20 pounds gone, so I'm trying. I totally understand your frustration, as someone who has been there and succeeded, and someone who is there right now and trying desperately. Getting your head wrapped around it is the hardest part of this whole weight loss thing, and then, sadly, even when you do lose a buttload of weight (literally) you still sometimes look in the mirror and see that fat chick you used to be.

Just keep at it, you'll get there. ,

Oh, I call that fear (more like dread) of failure. I used to say I'd failed at losing weight a number of times. No more. Getting to a stable healthy weight and staying there is a process of learning. With each new beginning I learned something new either about myself or about nutrition and health. From reading the forums I don't see anyone who has set out to "lose weight" and stayed on a steady downward path. People generally gain at least some back and often all of it or even more. I see that as part of the learning process now, not as a failure. The ultimate failure is to give up completely and end up stuck to a chair and dying there in my own excrement. Too graphic? It could happen. It has happened. But it won't happen to me. I believe I finally have the information and the attitude to become a normal sized person again.