non cyber friends

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dogpeeps
dogpeeps Posts: 57 Member
in Introduce Yourself
So I have come the point in my life where I have realized I have been successful at becoming an island to myself. I have a great supportive husband, but that's not enough. (If something happened to him I would be so all alone.) I need to create some new friendships with gal pals. I'm outgoing/friendly, but I don't even know where to to turn to cultivate some new friends. What have YOU done to make new friends?

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  • Its_Nat
    Its_Nat Posts: 184 Member
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    I wish I knew. Making friends when you're older is so much harder. I'm very anti-social through choice, but I'm realising that's not such a good thing anymore. I work in a very small practice, so only have a few friends via that - and the majority of my school friends I'm no longer in contact with (again, my choice lol, I keep refusing their friend requests on facebook).

    I guess the ultimate answer is find a hobby you enjoy and join a club? It'll be interesting to see what people come up with.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    I joined a group of women at a workout class. It's not really local, my husband has to drive me and take the kids for an hour while I workout three days a week, but I get out of the house, get to 'mix it up' with a bunch of interesting women and we also host events outside of working out! This Friday we're going to a burlesque show!
  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
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    Online forums! Online it's so much easier for me to be myself and I've been lucky to find people that are just as crazy as me!
    I'm sort of shy and nerdy and can be a little off-putting or abraisive or make people think i don't like them because I am being too shy and quiet! So it's more difficult in public.
    Other shy, nerdy people like me exist at home on their computers being shy and nerdy.
    Although I live in SoCal with a billion other people (who are also nuts like me) so there's more to meet.
    Once you meet one or two and hit it off, more opens up.

    Also, once you meet people it is hard to upkeep friendships b/c we are all so busy being adults! Tending to our partners and doing laundry and saving money to go on some cool trip. I know I forget to check in on my dear friends (old and new!) and it's a bummer.

    Feel free to add me here! Although cyber friends can't physically hang out, I have made great friends online that I've still never met!
  • ProfRuth
    ProfRuth Posts: 4 Member
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    This is something I've struggled with, too. I work from home (online) and it is totally isolating. My husband is great, too, but there are two problems: (1) He's a man and doesn't usually want to talk as much as I do, and (2) I don't think I should put all of my social neediness on him. It's too much to ask of one person.

    That's just my opinion, though.

    So what I've done is really worked at reconnecting with old friends that I still care about but have been too busy for. I'm trying to wake up really early so that I can build in some time in my day to go the extra mile to meet them for coffee and get out of this house.

    I also met some good friends through a Bible study.

    Finally, the workout idea is a good one. It may take a very long time, but eventually you'll start seeing the same faces and start to chat. Then you can always say to one of the other ladies something like, "We should meet at Starbucks sometime just to talk without this blaring music" or something like that. It's risky, but can really be worth it.

    I guess it's important (and so very hard to do) to find something that you enjoy and want to be involved in regularly (probably weekly, if possible). Eventually you'll find someone you connect with and a friendship will naturally develop.

    It's really hard at first. I totally get what you're saying and this is a great topic to discuss. I look forward to everyone else's thoughts.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    set a trap outside my house... just waiting for the BFF's to roll in.


    seriously, its about common interests. take some classes.
  • racataca
    racataca Posts: 28 Member
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    Join an acting class! You are out of your comfort zone so much during it that you can't help but make friends.


    Or take a really hard academic course and commiserate with other people over the impossibility of it. Take ochem and go to study groups - for fun!
  • mandyneedtolose
    mandyneedtolose Posts: 398 Member
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    Hey there. Feel free to add me if you'd like I am always looking for new friends!! :)
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    Join an acting class! You are out of your comfort zone so much during it that you can't help but make friends.


    Or take a really hard academic course and commiserate with other people over the impossibility of it. Take ochem and go to study groups - for fun!

    you stole my wallet from acting class! I was vulnerable! heheh.

    I like language classes. well... a language class. I like my cantonese language class ok. ok.... I like someone in my cantonese class. :P

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