Over weight 14yo Girl ~ Please Help!!

trishblich
trishblich Posts: 2 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm writing this post because I need guidance on how to help my over weight teen sister. Its not that I care about her weight other than health issues, but its her happiness. I know what her eating is emotional, and she has no idea how to control it. She is very insecure about it and extremely defensive when you try to talk to her. Her parents are also concerned and try to help but not being extremely healthy themselves, are not very successful as role models.

If there is anyone who has dealt with this, please HELP!!

Its at the point that she is always sneaking candy and hiding the wrappers all over the house. She will deny that its her. She gets extremely excited when talking about food, cakes, deserts, snack food... and acts as tho she has not had junk food in soooo long...

She is an amazing girl with a heart of gold! I love her so much and wish I could help her.

Replies

  • jenlarz
    jenlarz Posts: 813 Member
    If she won't talk about anything it could be difficult. Do you have time to just spend with her and set examples? Or find out more about what is behind the emotional eating and see if you can help there.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    There is a whole lot of good advice on another thread:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/784450-advice-on-helping-my-11-year-old-lose-weight
  • tami101
    tami101 Posts: 617 Member
    My advice would be to set a good example for her and try to get her interested in a sport. Don't give her a hard time about overeating because it will just make her feel bad and sneak food. I spent all my teen years feeling guilty about eating treats and developing a bad relationship with food. When my own daughter started gaining weight around 13, I told her she had to join in a sport. She chose track and literally ran the weight off! She also learned a lot about proper nutrition from her coach and started making healthy choices. She's almost 22 now and has never put the weight back on. 14 is a really tough age, as you probably remember, so tread gently and good luck! =)
  • threeohtwo
    threeohtwo Posts: 153 Member
    Ok I really really don't want to be a Debbie Downer. I think you should try to help her as much as you can without making her feel self conscious but I will tell you that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.

    Your sister sound a lot like me. My dear sweet mother tried to help me for years. But I wasn't ready. I hid behind food. It took until I was 27 to do something about it. You won't lose weight until you are ready. However: encouraging her to do something active might keep her weight even and not add to the gain.

    I wish you guys the best of luck and applaud you for being such a wonderful sister!
  • kim200950
    kim200950 Posts: 12
    Its hard to control eating when you have so many feelings. I would recommend a sport or club where she will fit in and watch other people her age making the right choice on foods and exercise. I know that I was horrible with eating before clubs and sports, and making lost of friends to make me want to stay focused and healthy.

    If you cant get her to go in it alone offer to go with her to the first meeting or practice something so she isnt feeling alone during the transition period...
    Best of luck!! kim
  • Chewster001
    Chewster001 Posts: 201 Member
    Find an activity that she likes, and encourage her to join a team. When she's constantly around other kids interested in being active, she'll naturally mirror their activity.
  • bragaswag
    bragaswag Posts: 28
    In addition to everyone elses helpful comments, coming from an obese teenager it starts in the kitchen. What mommy and daddy bring into the house. If theres no junk food or candy or sweets or anything bought from the supermarket into the house, how is she going to eat it? Yeah she might buy some stuff at school or whenever shes out, but its a very good start to introduce her to new foods. I tried many many many times when i was 13-16 to try and eat healthier, but when my parents would bring home mcdonalds or cook deep fried chicken or fish and fried potatos and all this food that would add to my weight, it was impossible to keep at the healthy mindset. Just my personal opinion.
  • MikeInAZ
    MikeInAZ Posts: 483 Member
    Set a good example yourself with what you eat and the activities you do. Invite her to exercise with you, Gym, Hike, Bike, what ever... Write out her meals and snacks for her for the whole week. Spend Saturday afternoon cooking together and preparing meals for the coming week. Make it a family project.

    You need to get rid of the junk food in the house too. Teenagers have a habit of being up late and raiding the pantry. My niece would do that. They found out she was eating entire bags of chips and then taking the evidence and throwing it away at school.

    A 14 year old doesn't have a lot of money, so she's not going to be able to go buy a lot. But beware of the vending machines at school or the mall too.. Three quarters could contain 400 calories in the right machine.

    Give her an incentive. Like for every 10lbs she looses you will buy her a new outfit or something like that.

    But if she doesn't want to change, she's not going to. You need to have a heart to heart with her. She's not a child anymore, she knows right from wrong and healthy from unhealthy and she has to know that being overweight is unhealthy.

    There's a great British show I found on You Tube called Supersize VS Super Skinny. You 'll have to piece the episodes together as they only show 10 minutes per clip (use the play list option to put them all together). But it shows SUPER OBESE people and all the health problems they have. It also shows the problems of anorexics. I used to watch those shows while on the elliptical and they were super motivating. Also, Extreme Make Over Weight Loss Edition (abc.com) is really motivating too!

    Good luck, you have a tough battle ahead of you.

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