Veet Hair removal for men

Options
sdereski
sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
I had a good laugh when reading this and just wanted to share hoping you all get a chuckle out of it too.

This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
>
> After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly
successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more
difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the
deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
>
> I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom.
>
> Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
>
> I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my *kitten*.
>
> This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
>
> Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, *kitten* in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my *kitten* while muttering..."Ooooh that feels good".
>
> Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
>
> I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...
>
> So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...

Replies

  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Options
    LOL!
  • ludgerclay
    ludgerclay Posts: 95 Member
    Options
    Awesome! The versatility of sprouts never ceases to amaze me!
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
    Options
    **rolling around on the floor, trying to get that visual outta my head**
  • Sweetpea472
    Sweetpea472 Posts: 229 Member
    Options
    << Laughing so hard I'm crying. Where are the tissues? :laugh:
  • rachel5576
    rachel5576 Posts: 429 Member
    Options
    lol
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
    Options
    So glad I wasn't eating/drinking anything while reading that. I would either have choked or spit it everywhere. lol That was great! Thanks for sharing!
  • Winwin101
    Winwin101 Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    OMG! That was the funniest story I've read in a while! I think I've just ruined my make up laughing. Thanks for sharing with us!
  • marathon64
    marathon64 Posts: 378 Member
    Options
    One more point for waxing---! lol!!
  • melanie8289
    melanie8289 Posts: 161 Member
    Options
    This made me laugh so much I simply couldn't move. Way to go finding and sharing it lmao
  • lindsy721
    lindsy721 Posts: 350 Member
    Options
    LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!

    Ohhh I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Screen is kind of blurry.