Embarrassed to Exercise

hanr
hanr Posts: 20
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
Ok, this is terrible.. but I am getting to the point where I am embarrassed to exercise in public.

I have this stupid idea that people are looking at me and laughing.. 'Look at that fat girl try and run! She jiggles!' :embarassed:

Does anyone else feel this way? I know it is ridiculous and that the only way to lose the weight is to get out there, but these feelings make me so reluctant to do so!

Also, exercising with 'skinny' friends - I completely avoid it because I am afraid they will judge me, I'll struggle to keep up with them, or they'll have to slow down.. ugh.

Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks :)
«1

Replies

  • madgoth
    madgoth Posts: 60
    I do. I found Leslie Sansome's Walk Away the Pounds. All indoors, its a pretty good start on an exercise plan. There are varying levels etc., so you can have what you need.

    good luck!
  • polyesterchesters
    polyesterchesters Posts: 81 Member
    I don't think people judge you..... I think you judge you. You know what..... you are worth it, you are worth the effort to loose the weight and be healthy and happy.
  • tinabosquez
    tinabosquez Posts: 107
    OH my goodness, I have had the same problem. I would be walking on the treadmill at the gym, and OF COURSE, the skinniest, fittest chick has to get on the damn treadmill next to me and run!!!!!! So, while I am praying that my legs wont give out under me, and cause me to roll off the machine, she is sprinting without breaking a sweat. My face would always turn red, and I would just want to crawl in a corner and die. Then one day I decided I wasn't going to let her get to me! I took my MP3 player with me and I had so many pumped up songs on there, I forgot to pay attention to her. I know that it takes a toll on us, because we are so unhappy with ourselves, we think everyone is looking at us. Just concentrate on you, and forget about everyone else. Just remember, there is a skinny girl waiting to come out of you! And remember this too, we are bigger and we can kick some butt too!!!! :laugh:
  • FrankyOsage
    FrankyOsage Posts: 275
    I know how it is! I am the chubby girl with my friends and at work (why am I surrounded by these fitness magicians??) and the embarrassment of trying to excercise in public used to keep me from going to my FREE work gym and jogging on the beach, so to say the least it was pretty crippling I'm swedish and quite pale and turn bright red with even the littlest effort so I thought people would be judging me the whole time abuot how "exhausted" I looked. But one day I just took a deep breath (the same day I tipped 225lbs), said "Screw it, let them judge me, they aren't worth my effort if they do" and went to the gym. And it was tough the first couple days!! But then I learned that people at the gym are usually "been there, done that" and really willing to help if you have any questions. Most don't judge, they are just genuinely happy to see someone trying to turn their life around!!

    I say, take the plunge, it really really is worth it and now I adore the gym! I've managed to keep going 3-4 times a week for two months, still beet red, and down 14 lbs! You will be there just for you and only you!!
  • lulabellewoowoo
    lulabellewoowoo Posts: 3,125 Member
    I have this stupid idea that people are looking at me and laughing.. 'Look at that fat girl try and run! She jiggles!' :embarassed:

    Yesterday, I was at the gym running on the treadmill, having a hard time getting into the groove. Older woman who was not yet in shape got on the treadmill beside me. In general, I tend to just listen to my music and tone out the rest of the world. But this lady started jogging and I found myself looking over and being EXTREMELY impressed. She wasn't breaking any speed of sound records (of course, neither was I), but she was doing it. She would stop and walk, and then run some and all I could think was, "You go girl, that's the way to start it out". I found myself smiling and able to push myself to MY finish because of her "go-get-it" attitude.

    I promise that IF people are going to pay attention, the majority of them are going to be impressed. Hey, we are all in the gym for the same reason and pretty much all started at the same place. Remember, you keep it up, one day soon, you'll be seeing another new person and thinking, "wow, look how far I've come - you can do it too".
  • lulabellewoowoo
    lulabellewoowoo Posts: 3,125 Member
    OOPS posted twice
  • justann
    justann Posts: 276 Member
    Why do we have double standards for ourselves and for others? When I see anyone out walking/running I immediately think 'good for them for getting their bodies healthy and toned.' Yet when I go out to walk/run I feel like everyone is looking at me, laughing, and thinking 'what does she think she is trying to prove.' Somehow I just have to shut up that voice, get my tail out there, and tell myself 'let the whole world watch. I don't care!'
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
    I felt the same way but the truth is you just gotta do what is best for you.....screw what everyone else thinks

    When I see overweight people working out I actually give them props because its hard to start/get into a good habit like working out and eating right
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    The best quote I've ever heard is: "We probably wouldn't worry so much about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do".
    The fact is that if you're around other people who are exercising - they're doing it for the same reason you are. They're trying to get healthier and probably admire you for working out.

    Having said that, yes - I know how you're feeling. I worry about the same thing - it's human nature. I work out at home, partly because I'm too cheap to join a gym and also because it's just more convenient. I've tried walking with friends and ya know... I don't enjoy it. My exercise time is exactly that - MY TIME. I don't enjoy talking while walking.
    I'm 5'3 (or just under) and I have a friend who is also heavy, but is 6' tall. She and I tried walking together one time and we couldn't find pace that worked for both of us. One step for her was 3 for me and she didn't feel like we were walking fast enough. I ended that workout frustrated and angry. Moreover when she decided to not walk for the day - I felt like she was letting me down. Ya know what? This is the one time in my life when I'm doing this for ME. I'm not in it to motivate someone else (other than my friends on MFP). I'm doing this for me and for my family and I can't be responsible for anyone else.
    So I work out alone or exercise while playing Wii Fit with my son... he doesn't judge me and is so competitive that it keeps me going.

    Don't let anything sabotage your efforts... if you go to the gym - find a time when the gym is less crowded. If you exercise at home - walk/run when no one is out. Find what works for you and don't give up!
  • Ang8178
    Ang8178 Posts: 308
    This was soooo me at the gym 2 months ago!!! My face gets really really red when I workout doing anything! I don't even run! I found the main reason I thought I was being judged or watched at the gym was because I do this to others :laugh: I think wow, that person is really really in shape, I wish I could look like her, wow I wish I could workout and not have a bright red face which makes my pores the size of nickles, why can everyone else not have a red face but I do, I wonder if people are looking at my butt when I workout alot :laugh: and you know why, I look at people's butts and wonder what exercise I can do to make mine better... :laugh: I'm a weirdo I know. Anyway, I don't think people are laughing at you at all. Everyone out to exercise all have pretty much the same goals... to get or stay in shape. We all have to start at the bottom and work our way towards our goals. It's much harder to get in shape than to maintain it! So in my mind, I'm always working harder than someone with no weight to lose. I don't run for now, you know why? It makes me feel bad about myself! It really does! I juggle, can't breath and my knees hurt. For now I use the stair stepper and eliptical.

    Working out at home is great, and you will feel comfy and like you have nothing to prove to the world (I love these workouts they are awesome) But I also feel (for me anyway) that getting out there are working out around other people will teach you people are not as mean and judgy as you may think. Not only has working out in a gym been great for me physically (I say gym because that's the "public" place I choose to workout) but also emotionally. It builds confidance and really gets you out of your shell. I however do workout alone. I don't work out with friends or my husband, I find I get a better workout alone. I did lunges on the gym track the other day, I almost fell on my face! :laugh: My thought is "whatever, we all start somewhere".

    I really hope you can find your self confidance to feel comfortable in any situation including working out :flowerforyou:
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    I felt the same way and that kept me from going to the gym but then I took a deep breathe and realized that most of them are there for the same reason I am either to get healthy or stay healthy. I get embarrassed since when working out my face gets really red and my head sweats alot. The worst for me though is when I am doing the weight machines and some muscular guy is waiting for the machine after I am done. That is when I feel they are judging the fat girl trying to lift 20 lbs.
  • gummibaehr
    gummibaehr Posts: 143
    This is why I love working out at the pool. Everyone looks ridiculous in their swim gear! Swim caps and goggles don't look good on anyone. :wink:

    When I worked out at the gym I always felt self conscious. I couldn't focus. So I started to do work outs on my own like bike riding and playing my Wii Fit Plus. I never tried DVD work outs, but that's an option, too, if you have gym anxiety. Swimming works for me because I feel safe at the pool. It's a matter of finding a work out and a place to do it where you feel comfortable and motivated.
  • hanr
    hanr Posts: 20
    "We probably wouldn't worry so much about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do".

    I'm pretty sure that is the best quote I have ever heard! I think that is now my mantra haha.

    Thanks so much for everyone's kind and encouraging words!! This is my first day on here and it's so great that there is a whole community here for help and support!

    It's also great to know it's not just me who feels this way! :tongue:

    No more midnight bike rides; tomorrow I'm going to put on my mp3 player and go during the day! :happy:
  • mvl1014
    mvl1014 Posts: 531
    hanr,
    1) Looking at your pics, I would never think "fat girl".
    2) If you saw a big ol' fatty working their butt off, would you be like: HaHAA :laugh: or go: Damn, :drinker: I need to get my act in gear ?
    3) People at the gym are too worried about getting a good work out or checking out the hotties to focus on anything else.
  • ican♥and♥iwill
    ican♥and♥iwill Posts: 176 Member
    Ok, this is terrible.. but I am getting to the point where I am embarrassed to exercise in public.

    I have this stupid idea that people are looking at me and laughing.. 'Look at that fat girl try and run! She jiggles!' :embarassed:

    NOOOOOOO!

    Don't feel that way!! When I was going to the gym (last fall, had to quit due to $$ issues and issues with my schedule) I was the ONLY big girl in there. At first I was worried about what others were thinking, but then I decided "Screw them, this is about ME!!" So, I did my thing... I'd go as hard as I could for as long as I could....

    And then one day, these girls came up to me and told me that when they see me working my big booty off, it motivates them!
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
    This is kind of like dancing. Most of us are nervous about dancing, 'cause we're afraid everyone else is watching, and judging, and laughing at us. But the reality is that unless you are really outlandishly flopping like a fish, nobody is watching you. They're all too busy in their own empty, shallow little heads thinking "everyone is looking at me,,, be careful, don't look like a dork", same as you are (and I am too,,, hehehe).

    I'll bet skinny girl on the next treadmill is thinking "OMG!!! They're all staring at my sweat/split endz/jigglebutt/dirty sneakers!!!"

    You paid your money and you went through the silly gym orientation and you have as much right to be there and do your thing as anybody else. Joke 'em if they can't take a screw. :laugh:
  • kstefanski
    kstefanski Posts: 68 Member
    Ha, I am actually doing research for this exact situation for a statistics class I'm taking! I want to see if "normal-sized" people have an anti-fat bias at the gym. My research has to be approved, but I'll probably know the end results sometime in the next couple months. I'll definitely let everybody know what I find out.

    I'm also including questions in my survey that address your exact feelings, because I am curious if we are all worrying about people looking at us for nothing. I, myself, worry about this constantly, and that is why I chose it for my project.
  • MirandaJayne
    MirandaJayne Posts: 600 Member
    Don't even worry about that. Everyone things that someone else is judging them at the gym no matter what you look like or who you are. This morning and most mornings I worry about people thinking that my hair looks bad. I have short curly hair, that is thin, so I get a terrible case of bed head and being that its curly I can't just brush or comb it, I would have to wet it conditionit, put product in it and defuse dry it with a hair dryer. But in all reality who cares if the pretty girl at the gym has better hair that isn't what you are there for. You are there to work on yourself. Block out what you think others are thinking about you because in all likelyhood they aren't even thinking that. They are there working on themselves too, thus too focused. Plus its not high school in the gym, people won't be mean.

    So go out there and exercise your heart out! :flowerforyou:
  • bjs06
    bjs06 Posts: 316 Member
    To all you ladies who feel this way.. give it up! You are strong and awesome for going to the gym in the first place. I work at a gym, and so does my best friend, and we both feel the same way about the people who are coming in, overweight, and working out - they are amazing! It is amazing to see someone who is overweight, come in and work their *kitten* off! They are working so hard and it's totally inspiring. I am overweight myself and those people totally inspire me to get on the treadmill for another 10 minutes or whatever it is I don't feel like doing. Plus, everyone at the gym is pretty much focused on themselves. Their own strength, their own endurance, how much further they have to go.. they are not worrying about the girl on the treadmill! And anyone who is watching you and judging you should be working a little harder..because you'll be the one laughing in a few months when you are a MACHINE on that *insert exercise machine of choice here* and looking smokin!
  • whyflysouth
    whyflysouth Posts: 308 Member
    Yeah forget about it - just ignore that thought b/c it's a lie. Everyone who isn't used to going to the gym has that feeling at first but it passes the more you go. Honestly everybody in the gym is really focused on trying to improve their fitness or the way they themselves look and really wishing that what they are doing there will really pay off for them in the future. We've all got some kind of inadequacy that embarrasses us in the gym, for instance in my case, I'm embarrassed by how little weight I can lift, feels like I'm a wimp, but you know what, I'm at the gym to improve that about myself.

    And I'm sure the big muscle-bound guy or fit girl over there probably has some issue with herself that is bothering her just as much so they're not even noticing you. Just don't leave a mess or sweat all over the equipment and walk away without cleaning it, y'know common courtesy. Don't worry, once you get comfortable over there you'll be showing up in your pajamas with your hair in a mess and you won't care.

    Everyone is equal at the gym, we're all people so self-absorbed with our physical health and fitness that we are actually spending time moving our muscles back and forth in silly contraptions that mimic movements that we should be doing naturally in our day to day lives. It's really quite ridiculous when you think about it.
  • jillybeanruns
    jillybeanruns Posts: 1,420 Member
    I've never been in your situation, but I will say (and I know I'm not alone in this) that I admire people who are overweight and exercise at the gym. I know that it can't be easy and that it must take a lot of inner strength to do it! You keep doing what you're doing...the other people at the gym don't matter. Do it for you! Keep up the good work!
  • MariSama44
    MariSama44 Posts: 340 Member
    I often have a gym buddy that I go with, and even though he's rail thin and doesn't need cardio, he still toughs out all the cardio I need to do just to keep me company. I dont feel like my friend is judging me, mostly because I'm getting off my butt and doing something about my weight, unlike all of our other friends who are overweight.

    Another thing that helps me deal with being in public is just realizing how rediculous everyone looks. Not just me. Everyones doing it so if I see someone staring at me or something, i just try to laugh about how dumb they look. But usualy I dont really run into any snobs at my gym, thankfully.
  • lvfunandfit
    lvfunandfit Posts: 654 Member
    When I see someone at the gym who is over weight and trying to make a difference I think to myself! good for her/him! After all, aren't gyms there for people to get healthy? No one is looking at anything on you that jiggles.

    (I do understand)---->after having my kids I felt that way. But I went anyhow. And you know what, when you start losing weight people come up to you and compliment you non stop. People who work out like to see others succeed with their weight loss. It's motivating! So, get your butt to the gym and don't worry about anyone else!
  • ka_42
    ka_42 Posts: 720 Member
    I know how you feel. I'm embarrassed to exercise in front of my significant other. I think he'll see me struggling/hear me breathing loudly and think -wow- what a fatty. So I don't do much exercise at home. Other than yoga- which we do together. I joined an all women's gym and that helps a lot! I just look at the person next to me and use their speed as motivation! I can do that! Also the ipod helps! Lots of good grooving tunes to get your mind off of it! You can do it, girl! I'm sure that quote is right- no one is even paying attention to what you're doing- they're probably in their own little world.
  • dmags
    dmags Posts: 303
    There is actually a gym, a pretty major chain, planet fitness that is geared towards people who are trying to get in shape. When lifting weights, they actually have a "no grunt" policy to discourage muscle heads from joining! I am not kidding there is an alarm that goes off! It is just a more comfortable atmosphere. There is nothing worse than going in in your over sized t-shirt and gym shorts and then "sally thong with her sports bra on " ends up right next to you!
  • melbhall
    melbhall Posts: 519
    I used to feel that way but the high I got from exercising was way more important than what people thought of me! Also, even to this day when I see a "big" person exercising I never think nasty thoughts. I always think " man, I'm jealous or look at them, way to go." Most people see others exercising and bettering themselves and feel happy for them. And I'll tell you what, I used to be that skinny girl in the gym and I felt just as self -conscience until I realized no one was looking at me. Most people only care about themselves. You just be proud of all the hard work you are putting in and don't give anyone else another thought. You are doing this for you, not them. And who cares if you can't keep up with your girl friends. It's not a race, it's your health and your life. Keep up the great work and you will see awesome results. You can do it!!!
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
    No Grunt policy? Wow,,, Ok. Thanks for the tip. Don't join planet fitness. They don't allow weight training there. "Judgment free zone",,, unless you're trying to get stronger. Then you are judged, and excluded.

    Do they really do free pizza and bagels? Probably good for their business,,,

    I'm proud to be a muscle head,,, I worked hard to become a muscle head. I'm a nice guy, I'm helpful, I'm friendly. I was once morbidly obese, and I understand lots of stuff and I do not judge. But Ok, exclude me. I wouldn't want to make anybody uncomfortable.
  • Supermel
    Supermel Posts: 612 Member
    I can relate some, I'm not so co ordinated and for that reason i work out at home. i don't worry too much about what people think about my size but i would be in tears if someone critiqued my form or ability in an exercise class. HUGS! I'm sure you can take a lot of motivation from all this support!
  • kait17b
    kait17b Posts: 8
    I hate going to the gym, for a lot of the same reasons you mentioned. I got a Nintendo Wii for Christmas and bought both the Wii Fit and the Wii Active. Personally, I love them and totally swear by them. Wii Active is awesome, offers a ton of work outs that range in length and intensity and the best part is that you get to do it in the comfort of your own home. I know not everyone has access to a Wii but if you do, I'd definitely suggest it.
  • steffi1686
    steffi1686 Posts: 119 Member
    I walk around my neighborhood. Luckily it is a college town so people figure I have somewhere to be and don't judge.
    Or you could walk around a local mall...window shopping can be fun!
This discussion has been closed.