Friendly Advice - Non Fitness Related

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Replies

  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,093 Member
    Write a song about it.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    Write a song about it.

    I have the chorus...

    I told you I would hang out and play guitar (play guitar, play guitar)
    I never thought the day would come so soon (so soon, so soon)
    Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to do (what to do, what to do)
  • GeekGirl23
    GeekGirl23 Posts: 517 Member
    Just break up.

    LOL
  • KatKisses
    KatKisses Posts: 296 Member
    Just because someone is family dosen't obligate you to them. If I don't wnat to be around someone I don't.
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
    Since you have kids, it's understandable that it's hard for you to drive out to whereever HE is, so maybe tell him that if he wants to get together, HE has to come to where YOU are. But he also needs to make sure it's a time that you're available and not running around town taking care of stuff for the kids. (I'm assuming he doesn't have kids? That's what it sounds like.)
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    You said you moved out there to play in the big leauges I am assuming you know some guys/girls that play that would be interested in playing with him. Perhaps pointing him in that direction saying "you know I am really busy with my kids and work and life and I wont have time for a long time to get together but if you go (Insert name of place) you will more than likely meet up with some people that will want to play."

    I live in a smaller city so maybe its different there but a friend of mines band met up because they were all pointed towards a local hotspot for musicians (by friends and family) they got to talking and now they are in a band together.
    He is new to the city he probably doesn't know anyone or where to go ...
  • WillLift4Tats
    WillLift4Tats Posts: 1,699 Member
    I don't think you should've made the offer if you weren't planning on following through. I can understand the crappy drive and it being a bigger deal than just stopping by. Maybe he could come to you or meet in the middle or something. Idk, kinda sounds like you set yourself up on this one.
  • LesleeBeAlive
    LesleeBeAlive Posts: 504 Member
    I told him, "Hey, if you ever get out to LA, look me up, and maybe well play guitars or something."

    If you didn't want to hang out with him why even tell him this?
  • WillLift4Tats
    WillLift4Tats Posts: 1,699 Member
    If you REALLY dont want to see him, then just block him on facebook

    That's a d!ck move. Any adult is capable of telling another adult they are not available to hangout. No need to ignore and hide like a jerk off!

    Exactly my thoughts.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    thanks everyone.

    like i initially said, this isn't that big of a deal. i figured it might get a little blown out of proportion. i'm was just trying to explain the situation fully. it sounds more dramatic than it is.

    Likely, what i iwll do is let him know that i'm busy, but we can meet for lunch or something, maybe someplace halfway, and see where it goes from there.

    Truth is, I don't mind supporting him (going to some of his gigs once in a while and that kind of thing). It's going to be tough for him. i've seen a few people try to make the transition and not make it because people in SoCal are a little different than on the east coast, and the adjustment is very difficult for people from the east coast. What I have been told, is people from SoCal say things and promise things, but never follow through. Whereas, that doesn't seem to happen on the east coast. I have no idea. I find that hard to believe. But, I am told people on the east coast are more upfront about things. More honest. And, if they don't want to see you again, they don't say, "Let's get together". Where, here, we say it all the time, but no one means it.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Likely, what i iwll do is let him know that i'm busy, but we can meet for lunch or something, maybe someplace halfway, and see where it goes from there.
    Funny how you had the answer all this time...
    A great saying I learned years ago: "Whatever you come looking for, you come looking with."
    Truth is, I don't mind supporting him (going to some of his gigs once in a while and that kind of thing). It's going to be tough for him. i've seen a few people try to make the transition and not make it because people in SoCal are a little different than on the east coast, and the adjustment is very difficult for people from the east coast. What I have been told, is people from SoCal say things and promise things, but never follow through. Whereas, that doesn't seem to happen on the east coast. I have no idea. I find that hard to believe. But, I am told people on the east coast are more upfront about things. More honest. And, if they don't want to see you again, they don't say, "Let's get together". Where, here, we say it all the time, but no one means it.
    Did you concoct this story in order to discuss the personality differences between people on the West Coast vs. people on the East Coast? Sorry, I had to ask.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,215 Member
    thanks everyone.

    like i initially said, this isn't that big of a deal. i figured it might get a little blown out of proportion. i'm was just trying to explain the situation fully. it sounds more dramatic than it is.

    Likely, what i iwll do is let him know that i'm busy, but we can meet for lunch or something, maybe someplace halfway, and see where it goes from there.

    Truth is, I don't mind supporting him (going to some of his gigs once in a while and that kind of thing). It's going to be tough for him. i've seen a few people try to make the transition and not make it because people in SoCal are a little different than on the east coast, and the adjustment is very difficult for people from the east coast. What I have been told, is people from SoCal say things and promise things, but never follow through. Whereas, that doesn't seem to happen on the east coast. I have no idea. I find that hard to believe. But, I am told people on the east coast are more upfront about things. More honest. And, if they don't want to see you again, they don't say, "Let's get together". Where, here, we say it all the time, but no one means it.

    That's just ridiculous! It doesn't matter where you are from. People do this all the time.

    I'm glad you're willing to hang out with him. I'm sure he is just trying to make some friends in a city where he knows no one.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Likely, what i iwll do is let him know that i'm busy, but we can meet for lunch or something, maybe someplace halfway, and see where it goes from there.
    Funny how you had the answer all this time...
    A great saying I learned years ago: "Whatever you come looking for, you come looking with."
    Truth is, I don't mind supporting him (going to some of his gigs once in a while and that kind of thing). It's going to be tough for him. i've seen a few people try to make the transition and not make it because people in SoCal are a little different than on the east coast, and the adjustment is very difficult for people from the east coast. What I have been told, is people from SoCal say things and promise things, but never follow through. Whereas, that doesn't seem to happen on the east coast. I have no idea. I find that hard to believe. But, I am told people on the east coast are more upfront about things. More honest. And, if they don't want to see you again, they don't say, "Let's get together". Where, here, we say it all the time, but no one means it.
    Did you concoct this story in order to discuss the personality differences between people on the West Coast vs. people on the East Coast? Sorry, I had to ask.

    No, I didn't have the answer. I was going to ignore him. In fact, I was ignoring him. I just messaged him and let him know that I'd be open to lunch and that I'm kinda busy and don't really play anymore. He has been specific that he wants to play. So, if he is not really interested in meeting up and just wants to jam, then that's cool. We're both off the hook. But, no I didn't already have the answer. Otherwise, I wouldnt have asked.

    Anyways, no I didn't concoct the story. A few years ago, a friend came from NY to LA and lived with us (I was married at the time) for about 3 months. She then made some friends and went to go live with them. After abotu 6 months, she went back to NY citing that people here in SoCal don't say what they mean, and she doesn't get that in NY.

    Quite a while ago, I was chatting with a friend of mine from Boston. I was explaining that there was this guy that was always coming over and he'd just hang out and stuff and I didn't like him at all. But, he wouldn't stop. It was weird. And, he commented that that would never happen in Boston. He said that here people try to be subtle and polite and don't want to step on toes and all that, and eveyone lies to everyone about everything. (I know that's an exaggeration, but that how he said it). So, I assumed that it was more true than nto. He recommended that I just tell the guy to get lost and tell him why. It's kind of like breaking up with someone. He said it sucks for a minute, but at least everyone knows where everyone stands and there's no BS.

    Again, it sounds so perfect out there. LOL. I'm not saying that, I'm saying what people from there have told me. That's all. They do seem more direct at times when I would tend to just stay quiet. I've seen it somewhat.

    Thsi wasn't some huge dramatic set up to make a statement about east-coast/west-coast peeps. LOL. I'm not smart enough to plan that kind of dialoge.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    thanks everyone.

    like i initially said, this isn't that big of a deal. i figured it might get a little blown out of proportion. i'm was just trying to explain the situation fully. it sounds more dramatic than it is.

    Likely, what i iwll do is let him know that i'm busy, but we can meet for lunch or something, maybe someplace halfway, and see where it goes from there.

    Truth is, I don't mind supporting him (going to some of his gigs once in a while and that kind of thing). It's going to be tough for him. i've seen a few people try to make the transition and not make it because people in SoCal are a little different than on the east coast, and the adjustment is very difficult for people from the east coast. What I have been told, is people from SoCal say things and promise things, but never follow through. Whereas, that doesn't seem to happen on the east coast. I have no idea. I find that hard to believe. But, I am told people on the east coast are more upfront about things. More honest. And, if they don't want to see you again, they don't say, "Let's get together". Where, here, we say it all the time, but no one means it.

    That's just ridiculous! It doesn't matter where you are from. People do this all the time.

    I'm glad you're willing to hang out with him. I'm sure he is just trying to make some friends in a city where he knows no one.

    I figure that's the friendly thing to do. I'm sure it will be all right.
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