Questions & my life story with loosing

Well hello everyone ! I hope your all having a wonderful day. I haven't posted much but have been a member for a little while now. I just had a few thoughts and wanted to possibly get some suggestions. I am 5'2 and currently need to loose about 40-50lbs.

I have tried so many different diets and pills in my life that i'm just so disgusted with everything. Here is a brief summary of what i've done so far. I'm 37 and have always thought I was fat, even at 115lbs in high school. There's problem #1 right there. I tried all kinds of diet pills. At one point around 97 I was running and was at a good weight, not sure what it was but i remember being able to wear those small running bras and I still thought I was fat, yet I was able to go running without a shirt on, just the bra. Weird. Anyway, around 2000 I started smoking and started working at jobs where I was on my feet all day, standing and walking around as a pharmacy tech. I figured since I was moving all day and sometime my feet would kill, I said to myself that was my exercise, when I got home i'd wanna sit around, not go out and exercise.
It was at this time I went for plastic surgery for lipo on my stomach. That ended up being a botched job because he only did the bottom part of my stomach. It wasn't until a few years later I realized this so I didn't do anything about it. This was 2003 I believe.

I tried The Master Cleanse diet but gave up when I wasn't able to down the salt water each morning.

Around 2007 I tried the Atkins diet after I saw how it worked for my fiancee's sister. I don't know if it was a coincidence, or the food, but I started having trouble with my gallbladder and was going to the bathroom so much I got irritated. I have my gallbladder removed and was told to go on a low fat diet.

After that I lost my job, got depressed, then mom died and the next year my closest brother died in a car accident. 06-07 was very hard and I just smoked and smoked to deal with my pain. Around 2009 I looked into the HCG diet and decided on buying the real rx grade stuff from India and mixed it myself. I lost about 15lbs and was happy about it. When I stopped I gained it all back and now here I am. I also had tried Weight Watchers earlier this year but when I lost my job I wasn't able to afford it any longer.

During this past year I have also went for two Smart Lipo treatments, I did my stomach and then my sides. I can really see a difference in my before and after pictures, and friends always comment how good I am looking. My problem is that damn # on the scale. I can't get it to go down. I paid a total of $6500 for these 2 surgeries and I AM STILL NOT HAPPY.

I am counting calories. This site says I should be at 1250 calories a day. I am currently not working and am spending my time doing arts & crafts, making a website, and thinking about going into cat breeding as a business. I am looking for part-time work as my father was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer and he really needs me to go with him to his treatments each week.

I am going to my PCP to try and get a referral to an endocrinologist to really check my thyroid. I have had a few borderline tests and think there is something wrong with my thyroid. It runs in my family. The stand-in doctor I had last month actually refused to give me a referral because he said my blood test results weren't that off, only by a hair.

I am thinking about getting an elliptical or a treadmill, I am not really the type to go out walking especially in the winter. I am also cutting down on smoking, everyone in my house is { father, fiancee, & other brother}.

I have also been on Zoloft for about 15 years, I just asked my doctor yesterday and she said if anything, it would make me hyper, but It makes me semi-sleepy so I also have a prescription for Adderall. I am on a very low dose so that really doesn't help with stopping my appetite.

This is most of it, I guess I am just looking for advice. Is there a place where you can take a questionnaire and magically it will tell me which diet would be right for me ? Like I said, I am currently counting calories, and I just ordered Vitamineral Greens and was thinking of making a protein shake and adding these in to replace on meal a day. What do you think ? Also looking into Paleo / Primal diet.

Thank you for any replies and also to anyone who read this whole long post. I sincerely appreciate it.
*Ronnie*

Replies

  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Your story reads like one of a classic yo-yo dieter and someone who has serious body/self esteem issues. I would suggest exploring that in counseling/therapy. If you have always been that unhappy with your body, to the point of having several surgeries, you need to work those issues out. Otherwise, the weight loss you achieve won't be satisfactory.

    That said, you need to chuck the idea of quick results or a quick fix. There is no magic pill, exercise routine, diet plan, meal replacement, or surgery that can permanently fix a lack of willpower and a lifestyle change. You need to committ to counting calories, tracking your food, exercising if you want to (and if you do, eat those calories back).

    MFP sets calorie goals pretty low, so you might be better off calculating your BMR & TDEE and finding a goal between the two. That gives you more to eat on a daily basis and still allows you to achieve steady weight loss. You can read more here:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12


    Good luck!
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    I'd like to suggest that you don't diet at all. Eat whatever foods you want (while eating as healthy as possible, of course) and fit it all within your calories/fat/carbs. Don't buy into any quick fix garbage. Rule of thumb is if it promises weight loss, it's a scam.

    Protein shakes are good if you're not eating enough chicken/fish/other protein sources, otherwise don't bother with shakes at all. Eat good food, don't under eat (ensure you hit your calorie goal) and you WILL lose weight.
  • grinogirl
    grinogirl Posts: 32 Member
    Thank you both for the replies. I will look at recalculating my calorie counts for the day. Lora, thank you for posting the road map article, i'm heading there now to read.
  • Hi Ronnie

    I read the entire post and first off, sorry for your losses, that is very difficult
    I agree with some of the first two reply's, there is a definite self esteem issue going on, which is never good
    The other is, too much craziness in trying to lose most likely will do the opposite. Go back to basics, diet and exercise.
    You may also want to get a second opinion about your Thyroid?
    The other issue is that it gets harder as we get older, our metabolism slows down naturally, which just adds to it all

    Simplify and maybe things will go the way you expect?

    Thanks for reading
    Your MFP friend DFG
  • grinogirl
    grinogirl Posts: 32 Member
    Thanks for the reply DG. I appreciate it. I am going on the 8th to see if I can get a referral for a thyroid test. I will let you know how that goes. :)
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Well hello everyone ! I hope your all having a wonderful day. I haven't posted much but have been a member for a little while now. I just had a few thoughts and wanted to possibly get some suggestions. I am 5'2 and currently need to loose about 40-50lbs.

    I have tried so many different diets and pills in my life that i'm just so disgusted with everything. Here is a brief summary of what i've done so far. I'm 37 and have always thought I was fat, even at 115lbs in high school. There's problem #1 right there. I tried all kinds of diet pills. At one point around 97 I was running and was at a good weight, not sure what it was but i remember being able to wear those small running bras and I still thought I was fat, yet I was able to go running without a shirt on, just the bra. Weird. Anyway, around 2000 I started smoking and started working at jobs where I was on my feet all day, standing and walking around as a pharmacy tech. I figured since I was moving all day and sometime my feet would kill, I said to myself that was my exercise, when I got home i'd wanna sit around, not go out and exercise.
    It was at this time I went for plastic surgery for lipo on my stomach. That ended up being a botched job because he only did the bottom part of my stomach. It wasn't until a few years later I realized this so I didn't do anything about it. This was 2003 I believe.

    I tried The Master Cleanse diet but gave up when I wasn't able to down the salt water each morning.

    Around 2007 I tried the Atkins diet after I saw how it worked for my fiancee's sister. I don't know if it was a coincidence, or the food, but I started having trouble with my gallbladder and was going to the bathroom so much I got irritated. I have my gallbladder removed and was told to go on a low fat diet.

    After that I lost my job, got depressed, then mom died and the next year my closest brother died in a car accident. 06-07 was very hard and I just smoked and smoked to deal with my pain. Around 2009 I looked into the HCG diet and decided on buying the real rx grade stuff from India and mixed it myself. I lost about 15lbs and was happy about it. When I stopped I gained it all back and now here I am. I also had tried Weight Watchers earlier this year but when I lost my job I wasn't able to afford it any longer.

    During this past year I have also went for two Smart Lipo treatments, I did my stomach and then my sides. I can really see a difference in my before and after pictures, and friends always comment how good I am looking. My problem is that damn # on the scale. I can't get it to go down. I paid a total of $6500 for these 2 surgeries and I AM STILL NOT HAPPY.

    I am counting calories. This site says I should be at 1250 calories a day. I am currently not working and am spending my time doing arts & crafts, making a website, and thinking about going into cat breeding as a business. I am looking for part-time work as my father was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer and he really needs me to go with him to his treatments each week.

    I am going to my PCP to try and get a referral to an endocrinologist to really check my thyroid. I have had a few borderline tests and think there is something wrong with my thyroid. It runs in my family. The stand-in doctor I had last month actually refused to give me a referral because he said my blood test results weren't that off, only by a hair.

    I am thinking about getting an elliptical or a treadmill, I am not really the type to go out walking especially in the winter. I am also cutting down on smoking, everyone in my house is { father, fiancee, & other brother}.

    I have also been on Zoloft for about 15 years, I just asked my doctor yesterday and she said if anything, it would make me hyper, but It makes me semi-sleepy so I also have a prescription for Adderall. I am on a very low dose so that really doesn't help with stopping my appetite.

    This is most of it, I guess I am just looking for advice. Is there a place where you can take a questionnaire and magically it will tell me which diet would be right for me ? Like I said, I am currently counting calories, and I just ordered Vitamineral Greens and was thinking of making a protein shake and adding these in to replace on meal a day. What do you think ? Also looking into Paleo / Primal diet.

    Thank you for any replies and also to anyone who read this whole long post. I sincerely appreciate it.
    *Ronnie*

    First, pick out a few things to work on and stick with them. Don't pick something you won't be able to do, like cutting out carbs if you love bread. I'd say first just focus on your calories. Then start to replace the least healthy things with healthier alternatives. I swapped white potatoes for sweet potatoes and soda for water. Maybe you want to add more veggies. The point is, keep it limited and make sure it's something you can do forever.

    Second, if you can, see a therapist or counselor for your body image issues and to help you with your depression.
  • jojorocksforeva
    jojorocksforeva Posts: 303 Member
    Ummmmmm some programs that do say you can lose weight fast or lose weight at all yeah it usually isnt soo but yes their is some were u can lose weight and lose it fast. and making you healthy person inside and out.
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Well hello everyone ! I hope your all having a wonderful day. I haven't posted much but have been a member for a little while now. I just had a few thoughts and wanted to possibly get some suggestions. I am 5'2 and currently need to loose about 40-50lbs.

    I have tried so many different diets and pills in my life that i'm just so disgusted with everything. Here is a brief summary of what i've done so far. I'm 37 and have always thought I was fat, even at 115lbs in high school. There's problem #1 right there. I tried all kinds of diet pills. At one point around 97 I was running and was at a good weight, not sure what it was but i remember being able to wear those small running bras and I still thought I was fat, yet I was able to go running without a shirt on, just the bra. Weird. Anyway, around 2000 I started smoking and started working at jobs where I was on my feet all day, standing and walking around as a pharmacy tech. I figured since I was moving all day and sometime my feet would kill, I said to myself that was my exercise, when I got home i'd wanna sit around, not go out and exercise.
    It was at this time I went for plastic surgery for lipo on my stomach. That ended up being a botched job because he only did the bottom part of my stomach. It wasn't until a few years later I realized this so I didn't do anything about it. This was 2003 I believe.

    I tried The Master Cleanse diet but gave up when I wasn't able to down the salt water each morning.

    Around 2007 I tried the Atkins diet after I saw how it worked for my fiancee's sister. I don't know if it was a coincidence, or the food, but I started having trouble with my gallbladder and was going to the bathroom so much I got irritated. I have my gallbladder removed and was told to go on a low fat diet.

    After that I lost my job, got depressed, then mom died and the next year my closest brother died in a car accident. 06-07 was very hard and I just smoked and smoked to deal with my pain. Around 2009 I looked into the HCG diet and decided on buying the real rx grade stuff from India and mixed it myself. I lost about 15lbs and was happy about it. When I stopped I gained it all back and now here I am. I also had tried Weight Watchers earlier this year but when I lost my job I wasn't able to afford it any longer.

    During this past year I have also went for two Smart Lipo treatments, I did my stomach and then my sides. I can really see a difference in my before and after pictures, and friends always comment how good I am looking. My problem is that damn # on the scale. I can't get it to go down. I paid a total of $6500 for these 2 surgeries and I AM STILL NOT HAPPY.

    I am counting calories. This site says I should be at 1250 calories a day. I am currently not working and am spending my time doing arts & crafts, making a website, and thinking about going into cat breeding as a business. I am looking for part-time work as my father was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer and he really needs me to go with him to his treatments each week.

    I am going to my PCP to try and get a referral to an endocrinologist to really check my thyroid. I have had a few borderline tests and think there is something wrong with my thyroid. It runs in my family. The stand-in doctor I had last month actually refused to give me a referral because he said my blood test results weren't that off, only by a hair.

    I am thinking about getting an elliptical or a treadmill, I am not really the type to go out walking especially in the winter. I am also cutting down on smoking, everyone in my house is { father, fiancee, & other brother}.

    I have also been on Zoloft for about 15 years, I just asked my doctor yesterday and she said if anything, it would make me hyper, but It makes me semi-sleepy so I also have a prescription for Adderall. I am on a very low dose so that really doesn't help with stopping my appetite.

    This is most of it, I guess I am just looking for advice. Is there a place where you can take a questionnaire and magically it will tell me which diet would be right for me ? Like I said, I am currently counting calories, and I just ordered Vitamineral Greens and was thinking of making a protein shake and adding these in to replace on meal a day. What do you think ? Also looking into Paleo / Primal diet.

    Thank you for any replies and also to anyone who read this whole long post. I sincerely appreciate it.
    *Ronnie*

    Hi Ronnie,

    Oh yeah your story is very similar to mine. Been there and done that. Diets like those are not sustainable and I found they hurt me in the long run, delayed my success.

    These were the diets I tried and failed and did the diet yo-yo with for 15 years:

    Low fat high carb, Slim-Fast, Weight Watchers, Atkins, Organic, Weston Price Diet, The Schwarzbein Principle, Eat Fat Lose Fat, The Ultimate PH Solution, The Makers Diet, A friends diet from a personal trainer/dietician

    I finally just got sick of it all and made up my own diet with healthy foods I enjoy and smaller portions. I ate my meals from small desert plates and bowls. I stopped eating in the evenings (not that when you eat matters.) I started calling what I did mini-meals and mini-fasts and I lost 40 lbs. Then I found Eat Stop Eat and learned why it worked and everything took off for me at that point.

    Eat what you want, eat what you like, mostly healthy. Don’t deprive yourself of foods you love unless there is a serious health risk. Depriving yourself of food you love and creating extensive good food and bad food lists at some point borders on a mental disorder. It will drive you insane.

    There is no mystery to weight loss, everyone thinks something is wrong, their metabolism is broken, they have low thyroid, they have menopause or whatever issue, they are as unique as a snowflake, whatever. I thought a lot of these things once too but once the doctor helped resolve the health issues for me I learned there is still no magic pill. Most people eat more than they need to and are not at good at estimating calories as they think they are. Most people have a lower BMR than they think they do. The only way to know for sure is to go to a lab and have it tested. It doesn't seem fair to have to eat less and feel a little hunger. It's hard to face the truth of it, very hard. It's not fun. It's drudgery at times. But if you learn to enjoy your smaller amounts of food (necessary to lose weight, since the reason we got fat in the first place was eating too much whether we knew it or not), and rejoice in your victories it can be done.

    All I can do is share what worked for me. I achieved my goal at age 50 after beating my head against the wall for 15 years. Yeah anyone can do it, but I can tell you that you are up against a lot when you are older and I believe females have some unique issue to face with hormones and such. The sooner you can get a handle on it the better. DO NOT GIVE UP. As I got older and the weight piled on (and I didn't feel I was eating too much!) everyone kept telling me to give up, this is what happens when you get older. I'm small, and I didn't realize how small I was until I lost the weight. Everyone said I had big bones. I looked hefty because I worked out. Once I lost the weight I realized how small I really was and that small people don't need to eat as much as big people. HINT: If you are short you are probably small.

    Your body loses weight in chunks, not linear. I have found that you can do everything right and your weight loss seems to plateau but if you are patient and keep exercising and eating at a deficit (however slight) you will lose it, it will suddenly "whoosh". There are so many variables for the scale; water retention, digestion, hormones, allergies, sodium, carbs, water intake, DOMS, inflammation, the list goes on. People mistakenly think they lose or gain weight when they eat more or less because of these fluctuations.

    Losing weight requires tremendous patience. You will not lose it when you want it or where you want it. The body does its thing. Some apparent plateaus can last a month or so. You cannot make it happen faster. You must focus on two things; calories and exercise. Nothing else matters. Scales and metrics don't matter. The day in and day out grind of exercise and calories are all that matters. It is not very exciting until things fall into place. You get your victories and you ride one victory to the next.

    The scale is a trend tool. The scale is good but put it away and only check once a week and only use it as a trend tool. It will fluctuate, it does not matter. Take front side and back progress pictures at least once a month. You will see differences that the metrics won't tell you and it's that little bit of NSV that will keep you going until the next victory.

    To say eat more is wrong.

    To say eat less is wrong.

    To find the exact calories needed for YOU to be in a healthy sustainable calorie deficit is the right answer. Wait, if you need to adjust by 100 do it, wait, adjust, wait, adjust, wait. The tortoise wins this race.

    All that matters is calories. A healthy balanced diet within a calorie budget for a deficit that is right for YOU is all that matters for weight loss. Don't make it complicated.


    Also people play mental accounting games with calories just like with finances. Make steps to make sure you are making accurate measurements. Packaged foods can have MORE than they say but not less (they get in trouble if less so they would rather error with MORE).

    If you typically intake sodium at a certain rate your body adjusts, but if you make a sudden change then you will see a spike.

    Exercise is for making your lean body mass pretty (especially lifting weights) for when the fat is gone. Losing fat with no muscle is ugly and cardio alone will not make you pretty. You cannot out exercise too many calories.

    It really is about calories. I tell people this all the time and they say "Well if calories are all that matter why do you eat so clean???!!" Well, because it makes me feel better, sleep better, and perform better at my sports.

    Too many changes at once can be hard on some people. I've always eaten healthy so it easy for me to simply eat less. Eating at a calorie deficit is hard on people; even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such. Everyone is different. Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others, this is not right or wrong, it just is. Stress in your life affects your hunger hormones; lack of sleep, fatigue, job stress, family stress, financial stress, etc. Add in emotional eating issues and it gets even more complicated. Most people can only handle so much change/stress at once, they try to do too much and fail. Sometimes it might be a better strategy to eat at maintenance and make some small changes first, it really depends on how much stress you are taking in at the moment.
    What is the exact number of calories for you?

    We’ve been trying to figure out an exact NUMBER of calories that everyone should be eating, without recognizing that everyone is slightly different. In truth, the calories aren’t the end game. Your body is. So the EXACT amount of Calories that are right for you is the EXACT amount that will allow you to maintain your ideal bodyweight no matter what some calculator or chart says.

    In other words, an online calculator might tell you that you need to eat 2,500 calories
    per day to maintain your ideal bodyweight. But the only way to know for sure if this is
    the right amount for you is to test it out. If you gain weight or can’t lose weight eating
    that much, then you know you need to eat less to lose weight no matter how many
    calculators and text books say otherwise.

    This doesn’t mean your metabolism is broken, it just means the estimate of your needs
    was just a bit off.

    -John Barban (The Body Centric Calorie Guide from the Venus Index and Adonis Index Manuals)


    The good thing is you don't have to worry about the starvation mode myth if you are fat. Only skinny people have to worry about starvation mode. It does not mean you have the capability to eat at a large calorie deficit if you have emotional eating disorders or other issues going on, but at least you don't have to be afraid of it anymore.

    The Theory of Fat Availability:
    •There is a set amount of fat that can be released from a fat cell.
    •The more fat you have, the more fat can be used as a fuel when dieting.
    •The less fat you have, the less fat can be used as a fuel when dieting.
    •Towards the end of a transformation, when body fat is extremely low you
    may not have enough fat to handle a large caloric deficit anymore.

    At the extreme low end, when your body fat cannot ‘keep up’ with the energy deficit
    you've imposed on your body, the energy MUST come from SOMEWHERE. This is
    when you are at risk of losing lean body mass during dieting (commonly referred to
    as ‘starvation mode’). This happens at extremely low levels of body fat, under 6% in
    men and 12% in women [Friedl K.E. J Appl Phsiol, 1994].

    -Brad Pilon and John Barban (from The Reverse Taper Diet in The Adonis Index and Venus Index manuals)


    Lifting weights is KEY. I recently had my DXA scan done and at 51.5 years of age I have the bone density of a super athletic 30 year old. That is a direct result of lifting for over 30 years. Now if that is not scientific proof that lifting weights keeps you younger I don't know what is! Also I believe it is why most people think I look much younger than I really am.

    Start lifting now, lift heavy and change it up often, find a lot of weight routines with free weights, make it fun, embrace it, make it part of your life. Only 3 days a week is all it would take. Crank up your tunes and learn to love it, because your body will love it and it will make your quality of life better in many ways, especially when you get older like me.

    Because of this I don't have to worry about osteoporosis. If you wait until you are older and your bones start to deteriorate it's a bit too late, you can't get back what you lost, and you can only start a resistance routine that will prevent further damage.

    If you are female you don't have the hormones to get big naturally. I lift heavy and I'm still really tiny. My lean body mass is only 104 lbs and that is fairly heavy for a 5'1" female, and quite a bit of this is due to my having very dense bones from 30 years of lifting, not all muscle, and I'm still quite tiny.

    My muscles really are not that big, but they show a lot of definition because I'm quite lean. If I gained some fat then I would have a softer more toned look (which is OKAY too!). Then if I gained more fat I would look bulky and hefty like I did most of my life until last year. YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT. Lean and ripped, soft and toned, or hefty, it all depends on how much fat you leave on your body. Calories are the only thing that changes fat. Exercise is for changing or maintaining your lean body mass only. Lifting weights will give you the best bang for your buck for shaping your body. I finally changed my shape by putting lifting first and cardio 2nd. You cannot out exercise too many calories.

    Best of luck to you! Bobbie
  • Gimpdogg
    Gimpdogg Posts: 163 Member
    Look to be blunt I think before exercise or dieting you really need some appointments with a mental health professional. Not saying your crazy or anythin but i think you have some serious underlying pain and food issues. Before you can fix the outside physical appearance you have to fix the root problems. Im not a professional or anything but just reading your story it all seems to point in that direction.
  • grinogirl
    grinogirl Posts: 32 Member
    Bobbie, I want to thank you for that extremely detailed and time consuming reply. What do you think would be a good starting point for lifting ? I have 5lb dumbells, should I try for something else ? Would these do ? I am looking for an elliptical or treadmill but i'm not sure I have the room in the house for it.

    Gimp, yes, I have been in therapy for 15 years. Depression runs on the women's side of my family. I mentioned Mom passing in 06, my brother in 07, my younger brother who lives with me now was in a bad car accident in 04, was in a coma for 3 weeks and almost died. He still has some slight brain injury side effects. Now with Dad getting cancer, it's just tough. I have really started to talk to my therapist about my image issues. I have also started a DBT therapy group to help me deal with my emotions. In June when I was wrongfully fired from my job I took it really bad and ended up committed to the hospital for a week.

    I am going try out Yoga starting next week. I'm trying to meditate at night, but that is very hard for me, my mind wonders.

    Well, again I thank each of you who responded, and I appreciate your honesty. Please feel free to add me as a friend. Have a wonderful day everyone. :)
  • isabellalabella
    isabellalabella Posts: 15 Member
    Just wanted to say sorry for your loss. It seems as if there are self esteem issues going on and nothing is wrong with that.... I would have to agree that there is no quick fix for weight loss. I have found counting cals to be great and NOT SAYING THE D word... DIET. Eat whatever you like, try to be healthy and you will lose weight I lost six pounds recently and was like WTF..... BTW.... I have the same weight loss goal... keep at it ...and you will see great results. Don't give up :smile:
  • grinogirl
    grinogirl Posts: 32 Member
    Thank you Isabella !! :smile: