Ahhh help help help.

goldair23
goldair23 Posts: 160
in Chit-Chat
So I wouldn't normally do this, but I was just wanting a general opinion/objective point of view seeing as all my friends are one-sided and unhelpful at the moment haha.

I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year this afternoon. Neither of us wanted to break up, we love each other so so much, but we couldn't see each other in our plans for next year (travel).
So my boyfriend, being ever the logical *kitten*, said we might have to break up because of that. Now that makes sense I know. But he wants to break up now. Not in 6 months when these plans actually come into fruition. And even then, I'm starting to think he'd be amazing to travel with, even my parents said he'd be the best possible person to travel with. Anyway! He wanted to break up now because obviously there would be no real future for us with us parting ways in 6 months.

Does anyone have any kind of ideas/advice/whatever to try and show him that things can change in that time and that I want to travel with him?

Thank you and sorry for such a lame post haha xxx

Replies

  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
    Let him go and move on.
  • jerbear1962
    jerbear1962 Posts: 1,157 Member
    If he doesn't want to be there I'd say let him go and look for another.
  • mightymice
    mightymice Posts: 2 Member
    "Neither of us wanted to break up"

    Apparently, one of you wants to break up.
  • djsupreme6
    djsupreme6 Posts: 1,210 Member
    yes..one of you did indeed wanna break up....best to just let him go...and go on about your business
  • Rachlmale
    Rachlmale Posts: 640 Member
    If neither of you wanted to break up, you'd make it work.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    It would be impossible to have a relationship knowing that there was an end date at some time in the future. Better to end it now.
  • SeaRunner26
    SeaRunner26 Posts: 5,143 Member
    "Neither of us wanted to break up"

    Apparently, one of you wants to break up.

    Sadly, I think this is closer to the truth. Sorry to hear about your break up though.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    It would be impossible to have a relationship knowing that there was an end date at some time in the future. Better to end it now.

    a lot can happen in 6 months

    a lot can change

    living in the future is wasting today

    we will all die someday, with your logic, should we die now?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I hate to tell you this, but I think you're overestimating your boyfriend's feelings for you. He's trying to be nice and let you down easy.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    long distance can work! come on skype later and ill show you. lool. I know. too far. still. I'm laughing. hahaha.
  • MStanford336
    MStanford336 Posts: 68 Member
    "Neither of us wanted to break up"

    Apparently, one of you wants to break up.

    ^^ This. Sorry. ^^
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    Well, no, I'd want to be doing things that I knew had a future, not ones that I knew didn't.

    I wouldn't want to go travelling with someone if I knew he might be looking for his next partner, and likewise, would I not be wasting the time that I could be finding someone who DID see me in his future?
  • SeaRunner26
    SeaRunner26 Posts: 5,143 Member
    So I wouldn't normally do this, but I was just wanting a general opinion/objective point of view seeing as all my friends are one-sided and unhelpful at the moment haha.

    Out of curiosity, what is it that all of your one-sided and unhelpful friends are saying? Is it possible that they are being honest and you just don't like the answer?
  • talamer
    talamer Posts: 516 Member
    "Neither of us wanted to break up"

    Apparently, one of you wants to break up.

    ^^ THIS, you should move on! and let it go!
  • fittertanme
    fittertanme Posts: 259 Member
    why now I would be asking and is there someone else as it dont make any sence to breakup I think your better off without the hassle and heartbreak in time
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Get pregnant with him, problem solved,
  • caldon4523
    caldon4523 Posts: 227 Member
    Your statement doesn't make sense. He's traveling. What's the big deal? Is he going off to Jupiter and going to be away for about 90 years? Is he "traveling" or moving? If he's traveling, when will he come back? And you mentioned you may want to travel with him.

    Now he wants to break up. I think he's just tired of you. Maybe you should travel on or move on or what ever you call it.
  • Trudyr777
    Trudyr777 Posts: 573 Member
    If niether of you "wanted" it you'd still be together. Love knows no bounds and would have at least tried. IMHO, someone was looking for an out and used this as a crutch. Smile, acknowledge, move on.
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    If he wanted to be with you at any time whatsoever, he wouldn't want to break up with you NOW. it's clear as day to me. he doesn't want to be with you, period, regardless of why. :( definitely start moving on asap! sorry this happened.
    IMHO, someone was looking for an out and used this as a crutch

    Precisely.
  • tdbad1
    tdbad1 Posts: 87 Member
    Get pregnant with him, problem solved,


    WHAT!!!!! NOO DONT!!! that is the worst thing you could do. Seriously i can't believe someoen would post this.
  • JessieGurlJb
    JessieGurlJb Posts: 441
    If he wanted to be with you at any time whatsoever, he wouldn't want to break up with you NOW. it's clear as day to me. he doesn't want to be with you, period, regardless of why. :( definitely start moving on asap! sorry this happened.
    IMHO, someone was looking for an out and used this as a crutch

    Precisely.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    "Neither of us wanted to break up"

    Apparently, one of you wants to break up.

    this.

    he's the one pushing for the breakup. it's highly likely he's got his eye on somebody else.
  • 1182sheep
    1182sheep Posts: 22 Member
    Its probably nothing to do with you. A rambling man most likely wants to smell other roses before he settles down to one. In fact he will probably never will settle down, but will leave a trail of broken hearts wondering what happened to such wonderful love. I'm sorry sweetheart. I had some boyfriends like that and it scarred my soul bad for a while. I decided to trust God and then wait until someone married me before giving up the goods. The buzzards who weren't serious about true love, quickly moved on to easier feeding grounds. That always narrows it down to the best and the brightest. Above all else DO NOT LET THIS MAN TOUCH YOU AGAIN. I have seen too many girls get pregnant thinking it would sweeten the pot. But the poor baby came into hell on earth. If daddy doesn't run off anyway...he comes to hate momma for trapping him. This hurts her so bad that she eats and eats and eats herself into 200, then 300, then 400 Lbs. Please, honey, you do not need a man to be whole. You will be a wise woman if you do not try to cling to this rascal.
  • foleyshirley
    foleyshirley Posts: 1,043 Member
    "Neither of us wanted to break up"

    Apparently, one of you wants to break up.

    This. I think he is using this as an excuse to break up and not be "hurtful". It sounds like he doesn't want this. I would lick my wounds (yes, it does indeed hurt; I understand), and move on.
  • TillyMomma
    TillyMomma Posts: 262
    Get pregnant with him, problem solved,
    ^^ That solves nothing.
    I think he did want to break up, but didn't know how to end it. Your difference in opinions presented an opening to him, and he took it. Sorry about that, though. :(
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
    What a crappy situation to be in. I was in a long term relationship and decided to go travelling without my boyfriend. The last few months before I left were awful. Either he's using travel as an excuse to break up or he is being really logical. Personally I'm no good at logic. To me it seems crazy to break up a perfectly good relationship when you could enjoy another 6 months together. Whatever the reason you would be best to be the bigger person - if you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't then it never was.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Did you tell him before the breakup that you want to travel with him? If not, tell him that, but only if you really mean it, and you are really willing to change your plans without resenting him.

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