To look or not to look, that is the question.....

HunnyB65
HunnyB65 Posts: 10
in Chit-Chat
Ever hear a friend tell you, "Don't go looking for love, let it find you"? Or my personal favorite, "You'll find it when you lest expect it". To look or not to look, that is the question. Should a single person give fate a hand and try to find that special someone or should they wait (pushing 50 here) and let someone find them? Philosophies on looking or not looking for love, anyone?

Replies

  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    Don't look. The best relationships I've had started with random encounters. The harder you look, the more desperate you become, and even if you do find someone, that puts you in a poor mental state which will make you more likely to drive the person away. Just be happy with who you are, and embrace your single life. If you meet the right person, it will most likely be while you're doing something you enjoy doing, and the other person will be doing the same. You'll also appear more comfortable, and therefore more approachable. Just give it time. Everything happens for a reason.
  • ElizaRoche
    ElizaRoche Posts: 2,005 Member
    dont........ it will be a nice surprise when it finds you
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    Ever hear a friend tell you, "Don't go looking for love, let it find you"? Or my personal favorite, "You'll find it when you lest expect it". To look or not to look, that is the question. Should a single person give fate a hand and try to find that special someone or should they wait (pushing 50 here) and let someone find them? Philosophies on looking or not looking for love, anyone?

    No way ! you look so much younger than 50!
  • sarahg148
    sarahg148 Posts: 701 Member
    I'd suggest making yourself AVAILABLE for love. Just live your life. Join new activities that allow you to meet others that have a similar interest. I've met so many new people doing what I love...but just expanded my circle by willing to travel a bit. I've met a few "prospects" but feel like I need to work on myself a bit first...not that I would say no if any of them looked to take the relationship to a different level. :wink:
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Live your life and have a good time... What happens happens!

    That being said if you wanna get yourself on a dating site, do it!! (I presume thats what you mean by giving fate a helping hand??)
  • andiechick
    andiechick Posts: 916 Member
    I agree, you need to concentrate on living your life and more importantly enjoying it and loving yourself. I personally believe that only when you are truly happy with yourself and your life will you find happiness with someone else.

    You are beautiful, you won't be single forever :flowerforyou:
  • sarahg148
    sarahg148 Posts: 701 Member
    Don't look. The best relationships I've had started with random encounters. The harder you look, the more desperate you become, and even if you do find someone, that puts you in a poor mental state which will make you more likely to drive the person away. Just be happy with who you are, and embrace your single life. If you meet the right person, it will most likely be while you're doing something you enjoy doing, and the other person will be doing the same. You'll also appear more comfortable, and therefore more approachable. Just give it time. Everything happens for a reason.

    YES
  • BuckeyeBoi
    BuckeyeBoi Posts: 233 Member
    I say have your eyes open for situations that promote social interaction and try new hobbies. Make yourself available is most likely the best thing and yet dont be afraid to go for what you want!
  • starspeckled
    starspeckled Posts: 313 Member
    I found love on an online dating site. We got married in August. I was looking for love, so was he. he sent me the message, so I guess you could kinda say it found me... but I'm glad I went on that site and started looking :)
  • CarmenSRT
    CarmenSRT Posts: 843 Member
    It depends whether you have an internal or external locus of control. If you think that *you* determine where your life goes (internal) then seek out opportunities to meet single like minded people. Network, ask friends and relatives if they know someone who might be compatible with you. If you think God/the Universe/Fate determine how your life goes then just sit back and wait.

    In either case, relax. You won't die without a man. :wink:
  • mgobluetx12
    mgobluetx12 Posts: 1,326 Member
    I agree with don't look. I was dating all kinds of creeps I met in bars, online and through friends. Then I met this great guy...at work. We became friends and started dating 6 months after that. We've been together for 16 years now.
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
    Do what you love. They will find you. Do not sit at home waiting for them to magically appear.
  • dayotte33
    dayotte33 Posts: 80 Member
    I'd suggest making yourself AVAILABLE for love. Just live your life. Join new activities that allow you to meet others that have a similar interest. I've met so many new people doing what I love...but just expanded my circle by willing to travel a bit. I've met a few "prospects" but feel like I need to work on myself a bit first...not that I would say no if any of them looked to take the relationship to a different level. :wink:



    This 100%
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    Ever hear a friend tell you, "Don't go looking for love, let it find you"? Or my personal favorite, "You'll find it when you lest expect it". To look or not to look, that is the question. Should a single person give fate a hand and try to find that special someone or should they wait (pushing 50 here) and let someone find them? Philosophies on looking or not looking for love, anyone?

    First off OP, either that is a much younger pic of you, or you are looking lovely for "pushing 50".

    Let love find you. Participate in some activities you really love, and let nature take it's course.
  • smilesalot1969
    smilesalot1969 Posts: 392
    I met my lovely fella on a dating site. He lives 90 miles away from me so in the beginning we became very good friends and wailed our dating woes at each other but there was just a spark there that wouldn't be ignored. Neither of us wanted a semi long distance relationship but travelling time is pretty quick so it works and we're really happy. He's definitely my soul mate
  • Coffeeholic8
    Coffeeholic8 Posts: 272 Member
    Que Sera, Sera
  • bandedsandi
    bandedsandi Posts: 122 Member
    Haven't looked for so long, forgotten how to...!
  • Keto_T
    Keto_T Posts: 673 Member
    When I was single I knew I wanted to be married. I made a list of everything i required in a husband. Those were non-negotiable. I also made a list of everything that would be nice. Those were open for (internal) debate. I rented a PO box and placed an ad in the local newspaper (pre-Internet). I got about 25-30 letters, talked to maybe 5 guys on the phone and went out with 3. My mom did some amateur handwriting analysis. I threw out the letters of ones who couldn't at least minimally spell and structure a sentence. I threw out the ones who made me uncomfortable even if I didnt know why.

    I am married to one of them and we'll celebrate our 20th anniversary on Valentine's Day 2013. I am a firm believer that if you know what you want you should take strides to get there.
  • LucyT4dieting
    LucyT4dieting Posts: 284 Member
    OK. This was my experience....I finally got out of a bad marriage after 31 unhappy years. At first, I was happy to be alone, but after about 8 months or so, I started to get lonely. I tried online personals, but had a bad experience. I vowed never to do that again. I really thought my friends would introduce me to someone, but it never happened. Fast forward four more years....still no one. In your 50's you're limited with places to meet people, so I decided to give the personals another try. What do you know? I met the man of my dreams! We were married two years later, and I feel like the luckiest person on earth! Sometimes, you have to give fate a little push....but only if you're ready! Good luck.
  • miketheman79
    miketheman79 Posts: 41
    I always tell people "don't look for the right one, be the right one." If you look for the right one you will never find them you will always find a fault in that person. But if you be the the right one, in attitude, in appearance, and in character I.e. yourself then love will find you.
  • HunnyB65
    HunnyB65 Posts: 10
    Ever hear a friend tell you, "Don't go looking for love, let it find you"? Or my personal favorite, "You'll find it when you lest expect it". To look or not to look, that is the question. Should a single person give fate a hand and try to find that special someone or should they wait (pushing 50 here) and let someone find them? Philosophies on looking or not looking for love, anyone?

    First off OP, either that is a much younger pic of you, or you are looking lovely for "pushing 50".

    Let love find you. Participate in some activities you really love, and let nature take it's course.
  • LittleMiss_WillLoseIt
    LittleMiss_WillLoseIt Posts: 1,373 Member
    I always tell people "don't look for the right one, be the right one." If you look for the right one you will never find them you will always find a fault in that person. But if you be the the right one, in attitude, in appearance, and in character I.e. yourself then love will find you.

    I love this!! :)
  • HunnyB65
    HunnyB65 Posts: 10
    Thank you! That pic is a year old. My hair is longer but I have not changed. Yes, I am almost 50 (46 to tell the truth) but trying to get use to the big "50"!

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