My sister is harsh. But right.

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2

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  • markysan
    markysan Posts: 33
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    As a person who works with East Europeans quite often, I find thats just the way they are. Very direct, and not very diplomatic.

    Clearly you havent ignored whats shes said, but on a positive just think of her as a verbal slimming aid lol. Dont take it to heart though.
  • livinbb
    livinbb Posts: 84 Member
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    Feel free to add me. I also don't have much of a support system at home (my hubby is a chef and does not have a weight problem and therefore eats what/whenever he wants!) and have found this site and the people on it are what keep me going.
  • momar74
    momar74 Posts: 56 Member
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    Let's assume that your sister sugar coated and try to convey the same thing - do you think it would have had the same impact? Change in behavior is so difficult to come about that at times, it does require something blatant or traumatic.

    My blatant/traumatic moment came when my mother told me, that my entire body was puffy and I looked older than my uncles who are twice my age. Obviously, I didnt want to hear these things, but I used this as a catalyst to change my behavior.

    My mother cares about me enough to say these things, so I can make behavioral changes and get healthier.

    Your sister cares about you and wants you to be around for a long time.
  • Jamie_Lauren
    Jamie_Lauren Posts: 211 Member
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    My sister (who has been a tiny size 6 her whole life) once told me that if I got any fatter she would ban me from the kitchen and force me to exercise!

    Sometimes your family can be your harshest critics. They can tell it like it is, but know that more often than not it comes from a good place. :flowerforyou:

    ETA: my mother once sat me down and gave me the "you'll never find a husband if you don't lose weight" talk.
  • lucyinthesky2007
    lucyinthesky2007 Posts: 98 Member
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    :-( I'm sorry your sister couldn't seem to put things more tactfully! Most of my family has tact issues too. They all know exactly how to make an already uncomfortable situation that much more uncomfortable. I feel your pain! That being said we all had our kick in the pants moment that brought us here. Glad your here! There's so many great supportive people here. I know you will be back on the right track in no time :)

    *feel free to add me too
  • family_girl2626
    family_girl2626 Posts: 46
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    Add me if you would like. We all have wake up calls. My wake up call ( the one I finally listened too) was when I had to order a work jacket in XXL (mens). I was disgusted with myself :sick: and decided I wasn't going to be wearing it for long. The decision was made in an instant the solution however is a lifelong project. We had a warmer winter than usual so I did get to wear the jacket throughout winter months but now it sits on the hanger in my closet as a reminder of where I don't want to be. :smile:
  • CocoCerise
    CocoCerise Posts: 18
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    My brother is like that. He went as far as telling me that I won't be as successful in life, unless I lost 80lbs. I told him "F*** you and get a life!" lol But I did know I needed to lose weight, but it was definitely not his job to tell me how much.

    I'm here for you!
  • DixieStarr76
    DixieStarr76 Posts: 44
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    There is a difference between harsh and cruel. I'm so sorry that you were hurt, but you are taking that negativity and using it as motivation. That's exactly how you're going to get through this and become a healthier version of you! You can add me if you want. Good luck!!
  • SueGeer
    SueGeer Posts: 1,169 Member
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    Sometimes we need that extra touch of honesty to spur us into action. I've gained massively in the last few months (my 50th birthday; sister's silver wedding party; 2 weddings; 2 week cruise.....all within 4 months). Am now the heaviest I've ever been (even when pregnant). Nobody's actually said anything, but......I know what they're thinking.....

    Have added you :heart:
  • peuglow
    peuglow Posts: 684 Member
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    The funny thing is, I've heard so many people complain when no one told them they were getting fat. Like people don't realize their clothing sizes going up, or their waistline expanding...
  • notsosimplyabby
    notsosimplyabby Posts: 138 Member
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    Make her words your motivation. I know that next time you see her, you will look slim, healthy, and BETTER than she does! Good luck and feel free to add me if you need kind words of encouragment!
  • butterflyqueen1984
    butterflyqueen1984 Posts: 141 Member
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    Yes it was very harsh for your sister to say that! But when my mind changed it was also because of my sister. My sister had always been fatter than me, when she had her last baby she started loosing weight, she was getting smaller and smaller and I thought if she can do it with 2 kids then so can I! So thats when I started, I am also doing this for myself but sisters even though they can be a pain in the bum and nasty to you, they can also help you change your life! Good luck, you can do this!
  • BeautyDoll
    BeautyDoll Posts: 86 Member
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    Her delivery may have not been the best but she loves and cares about you. Otherwise she would have just thought it to herself. She wants you to look and feel better and be healthy. Take it as that and don't read into it or make it that you are less than. This is your opportunity to say, I can make a change because someone cares enough about me to tell me. She told you what you knew and it hurt because you had to face how you feel about yourself and how you may have let yourself down. Use this as fuel. Use us as support. We're all in this together and want to see you succeed! You can do it!
  • Kimaw65
    Kimaw65 Posts: 74 Member
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    Maybe that was just the wake up call you needed. Mine was finally looking at myself in the mirror one day. I mean REALLY LOOKING and I hated what I saw. Feel free to add me

    Kim:)
  • Poeticmoe
    Poeticmoe Posts: 176 Member
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    Her delivery may have not been the best but she loves and cares about you. Otherwise she would have just thought it to herself. She wants you to look and feel better and be healthy. Take it as that and don't read into it or make it that you are less than. This is your opportunity to say, I can make a change because someone cares enough about me to tell me. She told you what you knew and it hurt because you had to face how you feel about yourself and how you may have let yourself down. Use this as fuel. Use us as support. We're all in this together and want to see you succeed! You can do it!

    ^^THIS!^^ I'm sending you a buddy request. With support, you can do his!
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    In some cultures, pointing out "fatness" isn't considered rude. I don't know how long your sister has lived with you in the US, but maybe visiting Europe has brought that side of her upbringing out. I'm sure she didn't mean it to be hurtful.

    However, good for you for taking the kick in the @$$ and doing something with it! Add me if you'd like support as you get fit!
  • pjsayler
    pjsayler Posts: 5 Member
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    Hey there, chin up and get busy. You are not alone here and may call on me any time for support. I do not agree with how harsh she was. Your sister wasn't merely harsh she was cruel! No wonder you are crying. She should be honest with you but there are better ways. She could have been more tactful and much kinder~but you said this is not her way. She should have asked you if you had stopped working out or other questions that would give you the opportunity to take a closer look at yourself. Do what you need to do to but be happy with yourself. Have you told her how her comments have affected you? She didn't need to be so hurtful and needs to know that....:heart: I'm sorry that she hurt you...
  • aliwitt82
    aliwitt82 Posts: 41
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    If you ever feel like giving just remember how you felt at the moment when she was harsh with you and let her being harsh be your inspiration to better yourself! Just remember you can DO IT!! It may be hard at times and trust me there will be days when you want to give up but just remember how you felt when someone called you "fat" and that will be just enough for you to get up and do something! We are all here and in the same place! Oh and feel free to add me as a friend and GOOD LUCK YOU CAN DO IT!!
  • MrsVR
    MrsVR Posts: 13 Member
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    Let this motivate you....you can do it...one day at a time! Good Luck!
  • D1one
    D1one Posts: 7 Member
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    Hi, I notice you have lost 104lbs. I am need of some support and need to get over the addition of sugar. I have been working on losing weight and it hard when you want to eat what others eat but you can't. I have been working out since Sat. I need some help with eating foods with sugar. I do know that working out is the key, but I am a busy mom that works and doesn't get home til 6pm then help with homework while i am cooking dinner then it's about 9 and time to get the kids off to bed and ready for the next day.

    It 's hard trying to make the time to workout when i don't want to neglect my family at the same time and I have a goal that I want to accomplish.

    I need support.

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