Peer Pressure and Accommodating Non-Dieting Friends

sara_m83
sara_m83 Posts: 545 Member
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
I have a friend staying with me for two weeks and though so far I've managed not to derail my 1200 calories a day too dramatically, I'm finding it very hard to say "no" to the things she wants. For example, if she wants to have a beer with lunch - that can be 150 empty calories for me. Or if she feels like having an ice cream while we stroll the beach. I feel guilty for refusing because she feels like my refusal is in some way a judgment of her desire to have these things. Has anyone else had these sorts of social difficulties? How do you stay on track when you're entertaining guests?

Replies

  • questionablemethods
    questionablemethods Posts: 2,174 Member
    Social pressures are some of the biggest ways that I get off track. I have found that a simple "Nah. I'm not hungry for it." or something similar tends to be taken well. I don't launch into a whole explanation about how I'm only eating a certain way or a certain number of calories or blah blah blah because that tends to make people defensive.
  • Happyoceangirl
    Happyoceangirl Posts: 1,993 Member
    I have a friend staying with me for two weeks and though so far I've managed not to derail my 1200 calories a day too dramatically, I'm finding it very hard to say "no" to the things she wants. For example, if she wants to have a beer with lunch - that can be 150 empty calories for me. Or if she feels like having an ice cream while we stroll the beach. I feel guilty for refusing because she feels like my refusal is in some way a judgment of her desire to have these things. Has anyone else had these sorts of social difficulties? How do you stay on track when you're entertaining guests?

    I think what I would do is go ahead and order a beer and then... drink it very slowly (like, half.) Let it get warm and you won't end up wasting the entire 150 cals. (And, you can really enjoy what you DO drink of it.) Might sound crazy, but I do that sometimes. I used to drink a lot of beer, and often... if my friends want me to enjoy a drink with them, I'll gladly enjoy the first half and it ends up being enough - and they never notice that I'm not keeping up anymore. Or, if they notice, they don't care. Same thing with the ice cream.... or, another one - could you suggest you guys split it? And make sure there are some distractions so she doesn't notice she ate more? (Evil, I know, but could make both of you happy). Or, whatever you get, keep it a small portion and the most reasonable calorie choice.
    AND, other times, when you know you'd be happier with yourself to just say no, then say no, and feel good about it because you've made small concessions along the way. Does that make sense?
  • questionablemethods
    questionablemethods Posts: 2,174 Member

    I think what I would do is go ahead and order a beer and then... drink it very slowly (like, half.) Let it get warm and you won't end up wasting the entire 150 cals. (And, you can really enjoy what you DO drink of it.) Might sound crazy, but I do that sometimes. I used to drink a lot of beer, and often... if my friends want me to enjoy a drink with them, I'll gladly enjoy the first half and it ends up being enough - and they never notice that I'm not keeping up anymore. Or, if they notice, they don't care. Same thing with the ice cream.... or, another one - could you suggest you guys split it? And make sure there are some distractions so she doesn't notice she ate more? (Evil, I know, but could make both of you happy). Or, whatever you get, keep it a small portion and the most reasonable calorie choice.
    AND, other times, when you know you'd be happier with yourself to just say no, then say no, and feel good about it because you've made small concessions along the way. Does that make sense?

    That's also a good strategy. I will do that for beer sometimes. Not even consciously but just because one beer or less usually satisfies me and if I tried to keep up with some people I would be drunk a lot! I wouldn't be able to do this with ice cream, though! Maybe I could split it, but I wouldn't have the willpower to just eat half of a dish of ice cream.
  • HulaCherry
    HulaCherry Posts: 45
    Go for a Bud Select 55! Only 55 calories! :-D

    But don't ever let anyone pressure you to eat or drink anything you don't want! They need to understand what your goals are and what you need to do to stay on it.

    LOTS OF LUCK!
  • Happyoceangirl
    Happyoceangirl Posts: 1,993 Member

    I think what I would do is go ahead and order a beer and then... drink it very slowly (like, half.) Let it get warm and you won't end up wasting the entire 150 cals. (And, you can really enjoy what you DO drink of it.) Might sound crazy, but I do that sometimes. I used to drink a lot of beer, and often... if my friends want me to enjoy a drink with them, I'll gladly enjoy the first half and it ends up being enough - and they never notice that I'm not keeping up anymore. Or, if they notice, they don't care. Same thing with the ice cream.... or, another one - could you suggest you guys split it? And make sure there are some distractions so she doesn't notice she ate more? (Evil, I know, but could make both of you happy). Or, whatever you get, keep it a small portion and the most reasonable calorie choice.
    AND, other times, when you know you'd be happier with yourself to just say no, then say no, and feel good about it because you've made small concessions along the way. Does that make sense?

    That's also a good strategy. I will do that for beer sometimes. Not even consciously but just because one beer or less usually satisfies me and if I tried to keep up with some people I would be drunk a lot! I wouldn't be able to do this with ice cream, though! Maybe I could split it, but I wouldn't have the willpower to just eat half of a dish of ice cream.

    I hear ya! Willpower with ice cream is harder to come by than willpower with beer these days. ;) I could eat just half if we split it - but not order my own and let half melt... :sad: That's just wrong!

    AND, there are those days when I want a cold beer - and I have it! Even two if I'm feeling it. But that's not what this thread is about....:laugh: As for now, I'm sipping herbal tea, and beer seems like a much nicer alternative. :ohwell:
  • acireamos
    acireamos Posts: 3 Member
    Social pressure is really hard to avoid and I think sometimes people don't even realize they are doing it. Work situations can be hard like when a boss brings in donuts and you say you don't want one. Or someone makes brownies. I think if it's worth it to you, if you want the item be it beer or ice cream, have a little. But if you really are okay without then they should be okay to drink or eat one on their own. You don't have to justify their choices for food. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, but you wouldn't order the same thing to eat for lunch just because they did so if they want something different to drink then that's no big deal.
  • ♥dawnwestbury♥
    ♥dawnwestbury♥ Posts: 104
    those situations can be hard but if you are trying to eat healthy to get where you want to be, then just say that. if drinking a beer isnt something you want to do just tell your friend you are trying to watch what you eat and dont want to "waste" 150 cals on that. i'm sure she will understand.
  • LaTerri
    LaTerri Posts: 42
    People who are not watching their calories don't think 150 is a lot or matters much in the whole scheme of things... But, you and me, we know that 150 here and another 250 tomorrow and 75 the next day and so on adds up to taking longer for us to get to where we want to be... Every little bite or taste or beer or ice cream...

    I like the suggestion of Nah, I am not hungry for that right now.

    I sometimes say, I am saving that for later when we have dinner. If it is dinner time, I say, I am saving that for tomorrow when we... and when tomorrow comes, they forget that you said you were going to eat it tomorrow.

    If it is someone I am not going to be around for 2 weeks like your current situation... I might say, Oh, I had a few beers too many last night,, and I am just not feeling it tonight. I use that for ice creams, etc...

    Oh, and I always make sure to tell them to go ahead and have it... You can only do so much. You are not incharge of people's comfort. You have done your part to give them permission and reject politely, after that, it is on them.
  • pjansen
    pjansen Posts: 19
    Not to push you into drinking a bunch of booze, but if you like wine, a red is about half the calories or less of a regular beer. Also most liquors are way lower calories than beer in a single drink or about an once. I always order rum and diet Coke as the Coke part is zero calories. As for the ice cream, I agree with the Nah approach. Frozen yogurt isn't much better either. Good luck with it.
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