Fat and Engaged!

illuminaughty576
illuminaughty576 Posts: 63
in Motivation and Support
Me and My fiance are starting to plan our wedding and i feel horrible because i'm holding off because i still feel fat.
I'm the smallest i've ever been but i still dont feel good enough.
I want to go dress shopping and have no worries that my dream dress wont look as good! :sad:
I know i can reach my goal and more by the time we get married but i NEED some extra motivation!
Feel free to add me! Especially if you're in a similar situation! :)

Replies

  • Justkeepswimmin
    Justkeepswimmin Posts: 777 Member
    Here's some motivation I guess .... when I got married my dress was strapless and a little tight, I felt like a princess on that day but what I wouldn't give to go back with the body I have now and wear a wedding dress!

    SO with that in mind think of it like a bandaid, do this and do it the right way CONSISTENTLY not painful and slow and ripping with pauses :)

    PS i can't see much of your picture but you dont look fat.
  • illuminaughty576
    illuminaughty576 Posts: 63
    thank you for all of that!:) i just want to look the best on my big day :) i appreciate the words of encouragement :p
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    I have lost almost 50 lbs but I'm still a long way off. I wanna lose another 100 before my wedding 8/24/13. I found my dream dress and I'm getting it no matter what! But I can tell you this belly is not donna look cute in it. It's a mermaid/trumpet/fit&flare style. However you describe it, this gut has to go. I work out about 4 hrs a day 5-6 days a week and I think I can lose at least 75 by the time I order my dress. Good luck!
  • PinkHurricane88
    PinkHurricane88 Posts: 156 Member
    Well my husband and I are having our big ceremony and reception in December and I am no where near where I want to be with my goals, but I am still consistently eating and exercising like I should. Don't overdo it and become so overwhelmed that you ruin all of the fun things that come with planning a wedding. Know you will look beautiful to him no matter what, and I can tell from your profile pic you are a very pretty girl!

    Also some advice on your dress. Try on tons, find a style that suits you best, and whatever you do, do NOT focus on the size the dress is. Dresses are usually made smaller than most other clothes, and throw in different brands and you have a whole mess of sizes that do not make sense but fit better than others. Pick what fits you perfectly now, that highlights the best part or flatters your body, and get excited! If you lose weight before the wedding then great, they can make alterations before your big day. If you don't lose any weight then also great, because you found a dress that fits and flatters your current size!

    :D It's easier said than done but just have fun with this, don't put too much pressure on yourself and just enjoy the ride!
  • VictoriaWorksOut
    VictoriaWorksOut Posts: 195 Member
    The words we use carry power and we all need to be mindful of what we say, about others and ourselves. Sometimes "I am fat" is state of mind, and skinny people feel that they are fat.

    You want to look your best for your wedding day, don't fall in "I am fat" trap. If I look at any health charts for my height I am in my ideal weight (5"11" and 142 lb), but personally know that I feel the best being 130lb with muscle on my abs. That's what I am working towards for my wedding day next May.

    God luck and stick to your plan!
  • tkb1985
    tkb1985 Posts: 146 Member
    I have lost almost 50 lbs but I'm still a long way off. I wanna lose another 100 before my wedding 8/24/13.

    lol, we're getting married ont he same day!

    OP, GO SHOPPING. Find your dress and use it to motivate you. I'd dropped a pretty big amount before I got engaged, but now I've found my dress, I'm DETERMINED to look the best I possibly can in it. That means losing a few more pounds, building muscle in my arms so they are nicely toned, and generally being in the best shape of my life.

    Find the dress (it's great fun anyway) and look at yourself in it objectively, then decide which bits you need to focus on most. For me it's my arms, for you it may be something else. Just don't forget to ENJOY planning your wedding in the meantime :smile:
  • tcatcarson
    tcatcarson Posts: 227 Member
    Well...he loves you and is going to marry you the way you are right now. Make sure he recognises you on your wedding day :-)
  • tkb1985
    tkb1985 Posts: 146 Member
    Also some advice on your dress. Try on tons, find a style that suits you best, and whatever you do, do NOT focus on the size the dress is. Dresses are usually made smaller than most other clothes, and throw in different brands and you have a whole mess of sizes that do not make sense but fit better than others.

    Also this! My wedding dress is a UK 14, as that's the size that fitted me best. I was a UK 12 when I bought it, and I hope they're going to have to take it in at my fittings before the big day! Size means NOTHING in wedding dresses, ( I tried on everything from 10's to 16's) so ignore them completely!
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    Planning my wedding was the most stressful thing I've ever done. I ended up, like you, the smallest I'd ever been but I was so stressed, that I didn't see that or any other of the good things. It wasn't until years later when I realized how nice I looked and how pretty and lovely my wedding was. Shame about the groom (I'm divorced now), but live and learn I guess ;)
  • whairigaila
    whairigaila Posts: 71
    I have lost almost 50 lbs but I'm still a long way off. I wanna lose another 100 before my wedding 8/24/13. I found my dream dress and I'm getting it no matter what! But I can tell you this belly is not donna look cute in it. It's a mermaid/trumpet/fit&flare style. However you describe it, this gut has to go. I work out about 4 hrs a day 5-6 days a week and I think I can lose at least 75 by the time I order my dress. Good luck!

    That's my parents wedding anniversary!

    You can all do it. we all can if we try hard enough! xx
  • 1sophiesophie
    1sophiesophie Posts: 67 Member
    I think it is an excellent motivator to want to look great on your big day - we all need goals. I got married 3 years ago and was going through the photos only yesterday for the first time in ages. I was overcome by how good I and my husband looked, but you know what (and I know it is a cliche and you will hate me for saying such a smug thing), but it was largely because we all looked so naturally happy: smiling, laughing and grinning all the way through. It was infectious - all our guests on the photos looked the same way. THAT's what I was looking at in the photos, not whether they looked good in their clothes.

    I admire you being motivated to look your best, but please remember why the day is important. Your happiness will glow through, whatever your size - and what is more, if you let your size make you miserable, you will be far more likely to jeopardise your day than if you end up a few dress sizes bigger than your ideal.

    Keep perspective, lots of luck and enjoy the experience....fingers crossed, it won't happen again, so enjoy it!
  • a_crotty
    a_crotty Posts: 225 Member
    I too am in the same situation so...I did go dress shopping and I did think I looked good in my dream dress BUT I know I need to lose this weight so I bought a size 14(street size 10) knowing it wouldn't zip, because I am about a 14 street size now, I figure it's even more motivation! Then when I lose the weight, it can be taken IN!!!


    Just remember that he asked you to marry him....and you weren't at "your" perfect goal, but to him you are to him. You are his princess, the one he has chosen for life and that is a lot! Be happy, because getting down on yourself is never going to allow you to drop anything. CONGRATS!
  • Leahbcc
    Leahbcc Posts: 38 Member
    :flowerforyou: I just got engaged also ... for me it is the second try and for him it is his first. We have yet to set a date. I know he loves me because of who I am and not a number on the scale. Please don't focus on "FAT" ...Know that you are a wonderful, sweet, caring, copassionate, giving, but most of all BEAUTIFUL. You need to shut down the fat talk .... Know that you are taking the proper steps. You will find the perfect dress and like the others stated the size should not define you .... When you look at the photos and see how happy you were that is what matters.
  • lissamia4
    lissamia4 Posts: 90 Member
    I feel the same way as you. My fiancé and I are also planning or wedding and I'm nervous to try on wedding dresses till I'm where I wanna be. Just keep trying to stay movtivated. Picture yourself at the weight you wanna be and stay determined to get there. You'll look beautiful on your wedding day regardless
  • crimsoncat
    crimsoncat Posts: 457 Member
    I just bought my dress and I'm at my lowest weight ever. I'm terrified I'll gain the weight back before the wedding and not fit into my dress.

    Pick the dress that suits you best and make sure they can take it out or in. The most important thing is that you look beautiful no matter what your size. Don't compare yourself to others (kinda like saying don't breath, right?), just go for the best YOU can be.
  • marycmeadows
    marycmeadows Posts: 1,691 Member
    omg. if you don't let your life start til you're 'happy' with your body - you'll never do anything. you seriously need a wake up call. You are lucky enough to have someone who loves you - the way you are - so just suck it up, plan your wedding, keep working towards you goals, and be a princess on your big day..... and this is coming from someone who also is starting to plan my wedding and I am NOT yet to where I want to be.....
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Didn't live life because she thought "fat".

    Ask them to engrave that for you, or get going living it as you are. The weight goals and health goals should be part of your life. Not driving one OR the other.
  • reasnableblonde
    reasnableblonde Posts: 212 Member
    I got married 6 months ago. Around this time last year, I started really preparing for the dress. Two words: Strength train. I probably could have lost a few more pounds and fit into a smaller dress, but I wanted to look strong, healthy, radiant. Buff bride, not skinny bride!

    Wedding dress designers are in the business of making you look good. Instead of focusing on the number on the scale, focus on flattering your best features, having strong and toned arms. If your dress shows a lot of your back, work on getting those back muscles in gear. Also, they do say to not focus on dress sizes. I agree with this. The dress I bought was actually several sizes too large and I knew I was going to have it tailored. If I gained weight, it would fit. If I lost, it would fit. About 3-4 months beforehand, I started getting it altered, and it was basically taken apart and then re-built, customized for my body.

    The most important thing is that YOU feel great on the big day. Get a dress that fits appropriately that you love, and walk down the aisle to the man you love. You can't go wrong - the pictures will be amazing.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    Well...he loves you and is going to marry you the way you are right now. Make sure he recognises you on your wedding day :-)

    Exactly!!!! If he had a problem with your weight he would have said something by now or not even proposed. Believe me, men don't care about our weight like we do. Women are very hard on themselves. My husband never told me when I was fat or started to gain weight. I asked him one day why didn't you tell me how fat I was getting? He said because it didn't matter to me. I love you no matter what size you are. I asked if he even noticed. He said yes but it wasn't something he thought about and it never bothered him. It bothered me thats for sure. He always told me he loved me and how beautiful I am/was be it fat or skinny.
  • notsosimplyabby
    notsosimplyabby Posts: 138 Member
    Girl, I feel your pain! We got engaged in JANUARY & I have been making up excuse after excuse since then. We took engagement pictures last Thursday and man, I felt HUGE! It was such a reality slap. I DO NOT WANT TO BE DISGUSTED AT MY WEDDING PICTURES. Friday, I started back on a healthy lifestyle and I have already lost 2 pounds!

    Today is a new day and its never too late to start being healthier and drop some weight!
    If you need motivation & encouragement, feel free to add me!
  • 1sophiesophie
    1sophiesophie Posts: 67 Member
    Didn't live life because she thought "fat".

    Ask them to engrave that for you, or get going living it as you are. The weight goals and health goals should be part of your life. Not driving one OR the other.

    This is much harsher than what I would have written, but boy does it make the point well. I second this....absolutely. And actually, this idea goes for anything where we don't think we are quite ready or good enough to try and get what we want out of life!
  • quiltingducky
    quiltingducky Posts: 103 Member
    Congrats on being engaged!!! I think that you can lose some of the weight and make yourself feel better. You are young and it is so much easier at 19 for you to lose than at my age (47) and you are trying to lose 25 pounds as opposed to a lot more. I say give it your best and changes will come your way!!! Just dedicate yourself and focus. You can do it.
  • illuminaughty576
    illuminaughty576 Posts: 63
    I have lost almost 50 lbs but I'm still a long way off. I wanna lose another 100 before my wedding 8/24/13. I found my dream dress and I'm getting it no matter what! But I can tell you this belly is not donna look cute in it. It's a mermaid/trumpet/fit&flare style. However you describe it, this gut has to go. I work out about 4 hrs a day 5-6 days a week and I think I can lose at least 75 by the time I order my dress. Good luck!

    good luck to you too im sure you'll look perfect:)
  • illuminaughty576
    illuminaughty576 Posts: 63
    Well my husband and I are having our big ceremony and reception in December and I am no where near where I want to be with my goals, but I am still consistently eating and exercising like I should. Don't overdo it and become so overwhelmed that you ruin all of the fun things that come with planning a wedding. Know you will look beautiful to him no matter what, and I can tell from your profile pic you are a very pretty girl!

    Also some advice on your dress. Try on tons, find a style that suits you best, and whatever you do, do NOT focus on the size the dress is. Dresses are usually made smaller than most other clothes, and throw in different brands and you have a whole mess of sizes that do not make sense but fit better than others. Pick what fits you perfectly now, that highlights the best part or flatters your body, and get excited! If you lose weight before the wedding then great, they can make alterations before your big day. If you don't lose any weight then also great, because you found a dress that fits and flatters your current size!

    :D It's easier said than done but just have fun with this, don't put too much pressure on yourself and just enjoy the ride!


    thank you! thats actually really great adivce!(:
  • illuminaughty576
    illuminaughty576 Posts: 63
    The words we use carry power and we all need to be mindful of what we say, about others and ourselves. Sometimes "I am fat" is state of mind, and skinny people feel that they are fat.

    You want to look your best for your wedding day, don't fall in "I am fat" trap. If I look at any health charts for my height I am in my ideal weight (5"11" and 142 lb), but personally know that I feel the best being 130lb with muscle on my abs. That's what I am working towards for my wedding day next May.

    God luck and stick to your plan!
    thank you! and you too!:)
  • illuminaughty576
    illuminaughty576 Posts: 63

    OP, GO SHOPPING. Find your dress and use it to motivate you. I'd dropped a pretty big amount before I got engaged, but now I've found my dress, I'm DETERMINED to look the best I possibly can in it. That means losing a few more pounds, building muscle in my arms so they are nicely toned, and generally being in the best shape of my life.

    Find the dress (it's great fun anyway) and look at yourself in it objectively, then decide which bits you need to focus on most. For me it's my arms, for you it may be something else. Just don't forget to ENJOY planning your wedding in the meantime :smile:

    that's a good idea too! im so excited to dress shop but worried still! but thank you!:)
  • illuminaughty576
    illuminaughty576 Posts: 63
    Well...he loves you and is going to marry you the way you are right now. Make sure he recognises you on your wedding day :-)
    that's a good thing to keep in mind!:) thanks

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