Advice Please!

mandy0688
mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
in Chit-Chat
Okay as alot of my friends know, I work in a hotel. On my own time, I wash guest clothes. I take them to this laundromat by my house to do them. Everyday there is a young man in his late twenties, always helping out. He has a cripled arm and he may be a slight slow.Many times, I have been there I put my clothes in the wash then leave to go to my house. He is always there to ask you if you need him to put them in the dryer or help you in any kind of way. Very sweet young man. Well there have been times, he has done that for me and I would give him a few dollars on days he really helps me. Well he knows, I don't mind him tipping him for his help because that is the type of person I am. Well today I went up there staying the whole time because I didn't need to do anything else. As I was putting the laundry in the wash, he is REALLY close to me trying to take the roll of quarters out of my hand to put the money in the washer. I told him nicely I got it but thanks. He really got up in my personal space and made me unconfortable trying to literally get the clothes out of my hand this time. Again I told him thank you but I got it. After about 4-5 times doing this, he left me alone. Yesterday I was gone, he started to "fold" the clothes. I had to go back and refold everything because I run a small buissness and I have my own way of folding guest laundry. He wadded the clothes up and started to stack them up. I still gave him a tip yesterday because I didn't ask him to help, he went out of his way.
Knowing the situation, and in no way I am trying to be mean to this young man because he has helped others and ppl are always rude to him or give him an attitude. I don't want to be one of those people but I don't want him to help me as much as he has. I can put the money in the laundry and fold by myself. I don't mind him moving the clothes to the dryer while i run an errand. Thats no big deal. He also carries the laundry bags to my car, thats fine too. I would love his help if I NEED IT, but only to a certain extent.
If you were in this situation, what would you do? I barely know this man, and I don't know how he would reaact if I said something. Should I ignore it, if I do, I may go to another laundromat.

Replies

  • Dr_Quest
    Dr_Quest Posts: 24
    Difficult to discern by the story whether or not he is just socially inept or has a cognitive disability. Either way, the answer should be similar.

    If you have a good rapport with this person, next time instead of tipping cash, tip with baked goods or something homemade. Say, "I made these to thank you for your help." It might come as a shock at first but it is a seamless way to mentally transition the tip procedure. Now, you can tip him once a week or on a random basis rather than the expected dollar or two daily.

    Please note that if he has food allergies and you poison him, you're rather screwed.

    Good luck.
  • alvalaurie
    alvalaurie Posts: 369 Member
    Difficult to discern by the story whether or not he is just socially inept or has a cognitive disability. Either way, the answer should be similar.

    If you have a good rapport with this person, next time instead of tipping cash, tip with baked goods or something homemade. Say, "I made these to thank you for your help." It might come as a shock at first but it is a seamless way to mentally transition the tip procedure. Now, you can tip him once a week or on a random basis rather than the expected dollar or two daily.

    Please note that if he has food allergies and you poison him, you're rather screwed.

    Good luck.

    LOL - seriously tho this is a good idea. If that doesn't stop his "helping", then I would consider going to another laundromat. At least for a while till it breaks the cycle.
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
    Wow. This is tough. From the sound of it, he has something mentally wrong. I would be very careful in this situation. Are there any other laundromats nearby? Perhaps you could go to another to avoid confrontation.
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    I don't want to offend him and I am suprised with the help I am recieving, I thought ppl would have gotten mad if I said I didn't want his help.
  • martymays
    martymays Posts: 188 Member
    I would find another laundromat. But I'm antisocial and hate confrontation. Good luck!
  • ShannonMichelle1985
    ShannonMichelle1985 Posts: 47
    That is a hard one. I have worked in group homes with mentally challenged adults and if this person is slow or mentally challenged it may be hard for him to understand. Kinda like they have a mind frame of a child. I would just try and explain that you really appreciated his help. But you like to do it yourself unless you ask him to help you and see how that goes. Maybe tell him if he could ask you if you need help or not and if you don't tell him thanks maybe next time you can help me out. That way he wont feel like you just dont want his help at all. :o) Hope this helps
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
    I don't want to offend him and I am suprised with the help I am recieving, I thought ppl would have gotten mad if I said I didn't want his help.

    It is normal to feel uneasy with his actions. We have internal signals that tell us when something is not right & it sounds like yours are going off. I believe in gut instincts. Be careful.
  • Dr_Quest
    Dr_Quest Posts: 24
    I don't want to offend him and I am suprised with the help I am recieving, I thought ppl would have gotten mad if I said I didn't want his help.
    Why did you presume people would be upset? You posed the question reasonably, you weren't unkind about it, and you made it clear that you appreciated the service in the past and even tipped for it, which no one does anymore.

    That said, I don't know how ecstatic I'd be about having my laundry left unattended at a laundromat even if it is a complimentary service...
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    I don't want to offend him and I am suprised with the help I am recieving, I thought ppl would have gotten mad if I said I didn't want his help.

    It is normal to feel uneasy with his actions. We have internal signals that tell us when something is not right & it sounds like yours are going off. I believe in gut instincts. Be careful.

    I am and that is why I bring my fiance there because he does back off alot when he is there and I ask my fiance to help do this or whatever.
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    I don't want to offend him and I am suprised with the help I am recieving, I thought ppl would have gotten mad if I said I didn't want his help.
    Why did you presume people would be upset? You posed the question reasonably, you weren't unkind about it, and you made it clear that you appreciated the service in the past and even tipped for it, which no one does anymore.

    That said, I don't know how ecstatic I'd be about having my laundry left unattended at a laundromat even if it is a complimentary service...

    True but I have read the boards lately and ppl will take anything wrong these days thats why my OP was so long and in detail
  • jenlarz
    jenlarz Posts: 813 Member
    I would just try and explain things to him, let him know you like his help but only sometimes. If he is a bit slow and others treat him badly he probably thinks of you as his friend even if you don't know him well. I wouldn't go to the point of switching laundromats unless explaining things to him doesn't help.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
    Tell him exactly what you just told us. If he doesn't get it, go to another laundry mat. Also, I wouldn't have anyone help because it is your clients laundry and you are responsible for it. What if he accidentally puts bleach in the washer or rips something?
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    Daunt...exactly what I was thinking plus I have my way of doing them. I make sure that the guest clothes are folding perfect. I am weird lol and yes your right, I am responsible for them. And if i mess it up i will pay for them. But if he does it, then I am still responsible as well and its bad for buisness
  • ehmadore
    ehmadore Posts: 72 Member
    I'm uncomfortable just reading this. It sounds like you were trying to be nice and liked his help but he might not know the social cues that tell him you are not needing his help. I'd be careful, if he has a mind set like a small child he could also get angry and violent too.
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    I'm uncomfortable just reading this. It sounds like you were trying to be nice and liked his help but he might not know the social cues that tell him you are not needing his help. I'd be careful, if he has a mind set like a small child he could also get angry and violent too.

    Never thought of this
  • WaltSeher
    WaltSeher Posts: 65
    Sounds to me like thats the reason people are rude to him, he doesnt take a hint. You got a moocher on your hands. My advice is to cut him off. Completly. ASAP!!
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    Sounds to me like thats the reason people are rude to him, he doesnt take a hint. You got a moocher on your hands. My advice is to cut him off. Completly. ASAP!!

    And he always makes the remark "I am getting that money!" Which makes what your saying very true
  • ImNotThatBob
    ImNotThatBob Posts: 371 Member
    It's a business. The articles being laundered don't belong to you, they are in your care. I wouldn't go do errands leaving them unattended.

    Tell him you appreciate his help when you ask for it (like carrying things to the car), but otherwise you have it under control. If he doesn't comprehend, change laundromats.

    Why are you not doing the laundry at the hotel?
  • LMick1986
    LMick1986 Posts: 431
    I'd make it very clear to him that YOU are the one responsible if anything happens to the clothes. That way, you don't have to be upset at him if anything happens while he is helping. If he has the mentality that I'm thinking (based on your post), he wouldn't like someone being mad at him. He might respond to that. Tell him that you would appreciate his help ONLY if you ask for it.....and maybe drop the tipping. Maybe give him candy or something? Or just a 'thank you' instead of any physical thing. You're a very kind person, by the way.
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    It's a business. The articles being laundered don't belong to you, they are in your care. I wouldn't go do errands leaving them unattended.

    Tell him you appreciate his help when you ask for it (like carrying things to the car), but otherwise you have it under control. If he doesn't comprehend, change laundromats.

    Why are you not doing the laundry at the hotel?

    Because I do it on my own time, the laundry cost more to do at the hotel which is amazing and i don't want to be there longer
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    I'd make it very clear to him that YOU are the one responsible if anything happens to the clothes. That way, you don't have to be upset at him if anything happens while he is helping. If he has the mentality that I'm thinking (based on your post), he wouldn't like someone being mad at him. He might respond to that. Tell him that you would appreciate his help ONLY if you ask for it.....and maybe drop the tipping. Maybe give him candy or something? Or just a 'thank you' instead of any physical thing. You're a very kind person, by the way.

    I am not a mean person but you and someone else said to tip him with something other than money and I am gonna try that first. My fiance can't be there all the time either. So i will try that then if i still persist move to another hotel

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