The Re-Opening of the Unicorium Emporium

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  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
    I was told I needed to send my Unicorn to a Vet if it danced around for 4 hours or longer. Is that a problem with your Unicorns?

    Unfortunately, our unicorns are for consumption purposes. We have never attempted to train them to dance.
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
    Do unicorn testicle jello shots increase pheromone production and overall sexuality? If so, I'll take 10 lots!

    It does indeed. You will be able to walk into any area and be guarenteed that at least 5 males or females will try to hump you leg.

    Order on its way. Testicles best taken while warm.

    Sometimes its both at the same time. So do take them with caution.
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
    I don't think we should kill Unicorns. I am reporting all of you to PETA.
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
    I don't think we should kill Unicorns. I am reporting all of you to PETA.

    Unicorns taste good on pita's.
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
    I don't think we should kill Unicorns. I am reporting all of you to PETA.

    The Ethical Treatment of Animals does not endorse or support the following mythical creatures:

    Werewolves
    Vampires
    Dragons
    Harpies
    Dinosaurs
    Unicorns
    Phoenixes
    Pixies
    Fairies
    Gryphons
    Gargoyles
    Incubi
    Succubi
    or any other animal of the mythical kind.

    In fact the FDA has rated Unicorn meat to be one of nutritious and best tasting meat that you could have. And its cost effective.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    I don't think we should kill Unicorns. I am reporting all of you to PETA.

    The Ethical Treatment of Animals does not endorse or support the following mythical creatures:

    Werewolves
    Vampires
    Dragons
    Harpies
    Dinosaurs
    Unicorns
    Phoenixes
    Pixies
    Fairies
    Gryphons
    Gargoyles
    Incubi
    Succubi
    or any other animal of the mythical kind.

    In fact the FDA has rated Unicorn meat to be one of nutritious and best tasting meat that you could have. And its cost effective.

    WAIT! You eat Dragons tooo? Ooh.. Oh, I'm not sure I can be part of this. That's too much. TOO MUCH!
  • BrendarB
    BrendarB Posts: 2,770 Member
    I would like to place my order for Dragon's breath, Unicorn glitter poop, Harpies cries and pixie dust - please do not pre-mix the order as you will likely cause a major explosion and create a tear in this reality.

    Incubi - I'll take a dozen - overnight delivery please
  • BeautifulScarsWECHANGED
    BeautifulScarsWECHANGED Posts: 749 Member
    How many calories in the Unicorns?

    Are they gluten free?
    Dairy free?
    Nut free?

    I'm concerned about soy. Is there a lot of soy in them?

    They are nut free, but not feline free. At the Unicorium we feed the unicorns feral cats to keep them fed in the winter.

    How can they be nut free if you have testicle jello shots?
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    As a side note, I still refuse to wear pants during intake interviews, ever after having to watch the sexual harrassment video for three hours.
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
    I would like to place my order for Dragon's breath, Unicorn glitter poop, Harpies cries and pixie dust - please do not pre-mix the order as you will likely cause a major explosion and create a tear in this reality.

    Incubi - I'll take a dozen - overnight delivery please

    But Brenda, the Incubus will eventually turn into a Succubus and fly off. You're better off buying a set of trap cubes and having them on both sides of your bed, promising you'll release them if they stay Incubi. But then your second problem is that they will go dry after the first round..needing to revert to Succubi to refill their tanks.
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