Too scared for maintenance...looking for some support.

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AuntieKT
AuntieKT Posts: 235 Member
in Motivation and Support
Good afternoon everyone. To make a long story short, I have been struggling with my weight my entire adult life. I have lost around 100 pounds a few times, but I always end up gaining it all back. This time, I used help from a nutritionist at work to make a more reasonable goal for myself and have been working on getting in shape and eating right for the past eight months. Because I can be obsessive, I have only been weighing myself once a month and that seems to be going really well. Three weeks ago I weighed in only two pounds away from my goal weight. A lot of people have told me that I should start to transition into maintenance and by the time things level out, I should have lost those last two pounds. Here are my issues. First of all, I have never made it to my goal weight before. It's a little scary because it is brand new territory for me. Secondly, every other time in my past when I have tried to loosen the reigns and not be so obsessive, thats when I totally fall off the wagon and gain it all back. I don't want to do that this time. This time, I have been trying to enjoy my journey more. I have been trying to celebrate all of my small successes and really pay attention to how much better I feel physically and emotionally. I have also been enjoying fitness a lot more than any other time in my whole life. I currently exercise a lot because it makes me feel good about myself and because I still have a lot of toning up to do. I have trying to do this whole thing a more healthy way and keep my mind in a good healthy place, but its hard for me. I have a really obsessive personality and I have a hard time doing things in moderation. This last month I have been just keeping on restricting my calories just like I have been and I have actually stepped up the exercise even more. I don't know what to do. My reasonable mind knows that I should back off and start upping the calories and trying to move into maintenance, but I'm scared. I don't want to go back to where I was before. I don't want to gain all the weight back again. I'm scared if I let up, that this is what's going to happen. I would appreciate some support and maybe advice on what you would do in my situation.
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Replies

  • AuntieKT
    AuntieKT Posts: 235 Member
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    Not one response...well this is embarrasing...
  • deb3129
    deb3129 Posts: 1,294 Member
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    I don't really knw what the answer is, but I can completely understand your fear. Maybe just up the calories a little bit at a time? Figure out how many more you need to add for maintenance, and then just add in a portion of those each day for the first week? Then when you see that is working, add a few more the next week? You may end up losing a little more than your goal, but it shoud all even out in the end. I still have a ways to go, but already I have fears in my head about ending up back here someday, so I can completely relate!
  • AmyK2003
    AmyK2003 Posts: 16 Member
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    I don't have any advice to offer you because I haven't been at the maintenance stage myself yet. However, CONGRATS on reaching your goal weight and good luck!
    :)
  • rcalvert1
    rcalvert1 Posts: 117 Member
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    Im no expert or even at goal weight but imo I think you should just gradually start upping your calorie intake. Maybe 50-100 calories a day for week and then up them again for the next week and so on, until you've reached maintenance level. From what I've read you want to take it slow. I wish you luck and congrats on making it to goal weight. Sounds like you've worked hard for it.
  • berdellazf
    berdellazf Posts: 3
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    First of all the scale is not the enemy, I hop on mine every day or every other to stay on track. Having friends for support and sounds like you have the weight loss thing down. But changing old habits, eating healthier, portions, lots of water and move more. We all know what to do, but it is easy to say. Keep telling yourself you have worked to hard to cheat and go back to the old ways. How do you want to look and feel and what you have to do to stay that way. Visualize it. I try to tell myself, it's only the first 2 to 3 bites is what you really taste. Put the fork down, drink water, eat slower or save some for later. I am a sales person and always in my car, so I even have to take those 100 cal bags and only eat 2 or 3 and put the bag down till later so I can really enjoy the taste. It is so worth it.
  • ERiNNicole81984
    ERiNNicole81984 Posts: 1 Member
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    First of all Congrats on making it to the maintenance stage!!!!...I'm scared of that as well, so you are not alone! I’m getting to that point and have thought about how I would approach it for myself because and I tend to be compulsive as well. I would say start increasing calories for maintenance slowly, keep tracking on MFP (if you’ve been goaling yourself on the app to lose 2 lb/week maybe change it to 1lb/week or 0.5 lb/week) so it doesn’t feel like your now binge eating. And without getting to compulsive, maybe start weighing yourself once a week for a little while and if your weight doesn’t fluctuate much, I would say you’ve found your caloric intake for maintenance. Good Luck and Congrats!
  • peuglow
    peuglow Posts: 684 Member
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    Maintenance does not mean easing the reigns. It means increasing your calories a bit. You can still track obsessively and weigh monthly if you like. I think that would be a great approach for you.
  • justlistening
    justlistening Posts: 249 Member
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    Congrats on reaching your goal weight! I am thinking when I reach maintance I'll still do all of the same things-- eat well, exercise and track both. You won't lose control here with MFP-- you will still be logging everything and know how you are doing. If you start to slip you will see it ( in big red numbers) and get back on track. Now go give yourself a give hug for accomplishing your goal and enjoy your body!
  • sapl31
    sapl31 Posts: 72 Member
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    I hear you. I am a pound from goal and sometimes think I hang on to the pound just to avoid maintenance.
  • LeenaRuns
    LeenaRuns Posts: 1,309 Member
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    Maintenance does not mean easing the reigns. It means increasing your calories a bit. You can still track obsessively and weigh monthly if you like. I think that would be a great approach for you.

    Congratulations on your accomplishment! If you want to be fit and healthy for life, you have to continue the things that brought you to this success in the first place. You can enjoy all of your favorite things...in moderation, of course.
  • jefedesalto
    jefedesalto Posts: 154 Member
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    Never MAINTAIN. Always improve!
  • dorothytd
    dorothytd Posts: 1,138 Member
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    If you can be disclplined enough to lose the weight, you can do maintenance. The thing is - it is the same approach. Calorie restrictions, good choices, exercise. You exercise more, you can eat more! As you start to do it, the fear will start to go away. The worst of it is when there is no fear - THAT'S when the weight creeps back! Feel free to add me - I've been in maintenance a while.

    Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS! ENJOY your accomplishment!!!
  • stef_monster
    stef_monster Posts: 205 Member
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    Congratulations! I, too, very recently reached my goal. I was shocked at how many calories they were giving me (over 1600!). After eating 1200 for so many months, it's hard and scary to make the adjustment. Usually I end up several hundred below my calorie goal, but it's nice to be able to eat out sensibly every once in a while and not ruin the day. My suggestion? Eat how many calories you're comfortable with, as long as it's equal to or under your maintenance goal. Try it for 2 weeks, and if you gain, go back down to whatever number of calories you were losing at. It'll take some tweaking and adjusting, I'm sure. Best of luck!
  • dorothytd
    dorothytd Posts: 1,138 Member
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    Never MAINTAIN. Always improve!

    And this! Love it - Always seek new challenges!
  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
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    Maintenance does not mean easing the reigns. It means increasing your calories a bit. You can still track obsessively and weigh monthly if you like. I think that would be a great approach for you.

    Agreed. The last thing you want to do is go all out eating whatever you want. You need to stay in the mindset that you are going to track your calories forever (even if this is not true). I think what you fear most is losing control that you have gained over your eating habits. Adding 50-100 calories gives you the same level of control, but it just requires you to eat a little more.
  • Gwilson939
    Gwilson939 Posts: 37 Member
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    I don't have any advice to give as I am a long way from goal weight.. I'd be interested in learning how you do as you progress from weight loss, to transition, to maintenence.. Keep us informed... I'm sure that I will have those same fears when I am approaching my own goal.
    Gloria
  • ksumme
    ksumme Posts: 283
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    Congrats on the great work!!

    Keep all your fitness goals in mind, and add new fitness goals to strive for. It isn't all about the number on the scale, that is just a good guide to get us there. We do have to maintain a healthy lifestyle - that includes healthy eating habits, and regular physical activity. Don't stop obsessing.

    As far as not losing more than you want, that is also part of being healthy. Figure out what that body fat% you want to be at. The difference from maintenance and the restricted calories we have been on to lose isn't a huge difference. It is maybe a serving of good healthy fat, a serving of protein. It means we can 'relax' a bit for that special evening out, as long as we still plan for it with a good workout the day of and day after.

    Don't stress. Just enjoy your healthy lifestyle and keep it up!
  • kathleennf
    kathleennf Posts: 606 Member
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    Congrats on reaching your goal weight! I am thinking when I reach maintance I'll still do all of the same things-- eat well, exercise and track both. You won't lose control here with MFP-- you will still be logging everything and know how you are doing. If you start to slip you will see it ( in big red numbers) and get back on track. Now go give yourself a give hug for accomplishing your goal and enjoy your body!

    This is great advice. Now from me- I have been at maintenance for a while so maybe I can offer a little encouragement. I did not set my goal at maintenance initially for all the reasons you said- I put it at -250 ("lose half a pound a week") and kept it there - but I kept losing, so I bumped it up to maintenance. At maintenance I have still lost weight - I am now about 5lb BELOW goal, and trying really hard to put on muscle and get rid of remaining fat (which is loose and ugly haha - google "skinny fat" and you'll get the picture) - so a couple of weeks ago I set my goal to +250 and am working with weights.

    Bottom lines:
    1> As others have said, if you keep logging, and stick with MFP you will not lose control and gain back, unless you just flat out decide to do that.
    2> MFP is not exact, neither is anything else. SO, bump yourself up somewhere to CLOSE to maintenance and sit there for a while- I would say AT LEAST 3 months to see where you land, then take it from there.
    3> WAY TO GO!!! You have accomplished what few accomplish.
  • sdavis448
    sdavis448 Posts: 195 Member
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    Dont think of it as loosening the reigns, because it shouldn't be.
    Maybe give yourself a new goal to obsess over? Focus on building muscle tone, which will require a slight increase in calories.
  • lornathewizzard
    lornathewizzard Posts: 172 Member
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    Hi and congrats on your weight loss. :)

    The key thing here is to remember that upping your calories to maintenance mode isn't going to suddenly make you gain 100lbs.
    What i would suggest, if you haven't already done so, is to change your weight loss goal to 0.5lb a week. That should up your calories, but still be working at a deficit to lose those last couple of lbs. And it will make the transition to maintenance cals easier when you feel its time to change.
    Keep tracking. Maintenance is just essentially more calories to play with. Keep up the exercise and enjoy more healthy fabulous foods!
    The best maintenance advise anyone ever gave me was to have a weight range - a range of maybe 3-5 lbs that you are happy in. If you go over it, you can go back to eating at a deficit. Otherwise you will just drive yourself crazy trying to stay at a certain weight.
    And I think it's a good idea to only be weighing monthly. Aside from anything else, if you up your calories, the first week or 2 you may see a slight weight gain while your body adjusts to having the extra calories. But in the long run, its the best idea :)

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