Too scared for maintenance...looking for some support.
AuntieKT
Posts: 235 Member
Good afternoon everyone. To make a long story short, I have been struggling with my weight my entire adult life. I have lost around 100 pounds a few times, but I always end up gaining it all back. This time, I used help from a nutritionist at work to make a more reasonable goal for myself and have been working on getting in shape and eating right for the past eight months. Because I can be obsessive, I have only been weighing myself once a month and that seems to be going really well. Three weeks ago I weighed in only two pounds away from my goal weight. A lot of people have told me that I should start to transition into maintenance and by the time things level out, I should have lost those last two pounds. Here are my issues. First of all, I have never made it to my goal weight before. It's a little scary because it is brand new territory for me. Secondly, every other time in my past when I have tried to loosen the reigns and not be so obsessive, thats when I totally fall off the wagon and gain it all back. I don't want to do that this time. This time, I have been trying to enjoy my journey more. I have been trying to celebrate all of my small successes and really pay attention to how much better I feel physically and emotionally. I have also been enjoying fitness a lot more than any other time in my whole life. I currently exercise a lot because it makes me feel good about myself and because I still have a lot of toning up to do. I have trying to do this whole thing a more healthy way and keep my mind in a good healthy place, but its hard for me. I have a really obsessive personality and I have a hard time doing things in moderation. This last month I have been just keeping on restricting my calories just like I have been and I have actually stepped up the exercise even more. I don't know what to do. My reasonable mind knows that I should back off and start upping the calories and trying to move into maintenance, but I'm scared. I don't want to go back to where I was before. I don't want to gain all the weight back again. I'm scared if I let up, that this is what's going to happen. I would appreciate some support and maybe advice on what you would do in my situation.
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Replies
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Not one response...well this is embarrasing...0
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I don't really knw what the answer is, but I can completely understand your fear. Maybe just up the calories a little bit at a time? Figure out how many more you need to add for maintenance, and then just add in a portion of those each day for the first week? Then when you see that is working, add a few more the next week? You may end up losing a little more than your goal, but it shoud all even out in the end. I still have a ways to go, but already I have fears in my head about ending up back here someday, so I can completely relate!0
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I don't have any advice to offer you because I haven't been at the maintenance stage myself yet. However, CONGRATS on reaching your goal weight and good luck!
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Im no expert or even at goal weight but imo I think you should just gradually start upping your calorie intake. Maybe 50-100 calories a day for week and then up them again for the next week and so on, until you've reached maintenance level. From what I've read you want to take it slow. I wish you luck and congrats on making it to goal weight. Sounds like you've worked hard for it.0
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First of all the scale is not the enemy, I hop on mine every day or every other to stay on track. Having friends for support and sounds like you have the weight loss thing down. But changing old habits, eating healthier, portions, lots of water and move more. We all know what to do, but it is easy to say. Keep telling yourself you have worked to hard to cheat and go back to the old ways. How do you want to look and feel and what you have to do to stay that way. Visualize it. I try to tell myself, it's only the first 2 to 3 bites is what you really taste. Put the fork down, drink water, eat slower or save some for later. I am a sales person and always in my car, so I even have to take those 100 cal bags and only eat 2 or 3 and put the bag down till later so I can really enjoy the taste. It is so worth it.0
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First of all Congrats on making it to the maintenance stage!!!!...I'm scared of that as well, so you are not alone! I’m getting to that point and have thought about how I would approach it for myself because and I tend to be compulsive as well. I would say start increasing calories for maintenance slowly, keep tracking on MFP (if you’ve been goaling yourself on the app to lose 2 lb/week maybe change it to 1lb/week or 0.5 lb/week) so it doesn’t feel like your now binge eating. And without getting to compulsive, maybe start weighing yourself once a week for a little while and if your weight doesn’t fluctuate much, I would say you’ve found your caloric intake for maintenance. Good Luck and Congrats!0
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Maintenance does not mean easing the reigns. It means increasing your calories a bit. You can still track obsessively and weigh monthly if you like. I think that would be a great approach for you.0
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Congrats on reaching your goal weight! I am thinking when I reach maintance I'll still do all of the same things-- eat well, exercise and track both. You won't lose control here with MFP-- you will still be logging everything and know how you are doing. If you start to slip you will see it ( in big red numbers) and get back on track. Now go give yourself a give hug for accomplishing your goal and enjoy your body!0
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I hear you. I am a pound from goal and sometimes think I hang on to the pound just to avoid maintenance.0
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Maintenance does not mean easing the reigns. It means increasing your calories a bit. You can still track obsessively and weigh monthly if you like. I think that would be a great approach for you.
Congratulations on your accomplishment! If you want to be fit and healthy for life, you have to continue the things that brought you to this success in the first place. You can enjoy all of your favorite things...in moderation, of course.0 -
Never MAINTAIN. Always improve!0
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If you can be disclplined enough to lose the weight, you can do maintenance. The thing is - it is the same approach. Calorie restrictions, good choices, exercise. You exercise more, you can eat more! As you start to do it, the fear will start to go away. The worst of it is when there is no fear - THAT'S when the weight creeps back! Feel free to add me - I've been in maintenance a while.
Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS! ENJOY your accomplishment!!!0 -
Congratulations! I, too, very recently reached my goal. I was shocked at how many calories they were giving me (over 1600!). After eating 1200 for so many months, it's hard and scary to make the adjustment. Usually I end up several hundred below my calorie goal, but it's nice to be able to eat out sensibly every once in a while and not ruin the day. My suggestion? Eat how many calories you're comfortable with, as long as it's equal to or under your maintenance goal. Try it for 2 weeks, and if you gain, go back down to whatever number of calories you were losing at. It'll take some tweaking and adjusting, I'm sure. Best of luck!0
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Never MAINTAIN. Always improve!
And this! Love it - Always seek new challenges!0 -
Maintenance does not mean easing the reigns. It means increasing your calories a bit. You can still track obsessively and weigh monthly if you like. I think that would be a great approach for you.
Agreed. The last thing you want to do is go all out eating whatever you want. You need to stay in the mindset that you are going to track your calories forever (even if this is not true). I think what you fear most is losing control that you have gained over your eating habits. Adding 50-100 calories gives you the same level of control, but it just requires you to eat a little more.0 -
I don't have any advice to give as I am a long way from goal weight.. I'd be interested in learning how you do as you progress from weight loss, to transition, to maintenence.. Keep us informed... I'm sure that I will have those same fears when I am approaching my own goal.
Gloria0 -
Congrats on the great work!!
Keep all your fitness goals in mind, and add new fitness goals to strive for. It isn't all about the number on the scale, that is just a good guide to get us there. We do have to maintain a healthy lifestyle - that includes healthy eating habits, and regular physical activity. Don't stop obsessing.
As far as not losing more than you want, that is also part of being healthy. Figure out what that body fat% you want to be at. The difference from maintenance and the restricted calories we have been on to lose isn't a huge difference. It is maybe a serving of good healthy fat, a serving of protein. It means we can 'relax' a bit for that special evening out, as long as we still plan for it with a good workout the day of and day after.
Don't stress. Just enjoy your healthy lifestyle and keep it up!0 -
Congrats on reaching your goal weight! I am thinking when I reach maintance I'll still do all of the same things-- eat well, exercise and track both. You won't lose control here with MFP-- you will still be logging everything and know how you are doing. If you start to slip you will see it ( in big red numbers) and get back on track. Now go give yourself a give hug for accomplishing your goal and enjoy your body!
This is great advice. Now from me- I have been at maintenance for a while so maybe I can offer a little encouragement. I did not set my goal at maintenance initially for all the reasons you said- I put it at -250 ("lose half a pound a week") and kept it there - but I kept losing, so I bumped it up to maintenance. At maintenance I have still lost weight - I am now about 5lb BELOW goal, and trying really hard to put on muscle and get rid of remaining fat (which is loose and ugly haha - google "skinny fat" and you'll get the picture) - so a couple of weeks ago I set my goal to +250 and am working with weights.
Bottom lines:
1> As others have said, if you keep logging, and stick with MFP you will not lose control and gain back, unless you just flat out decide to do that.
2> MFP is not exact, neither is anything else. SO, bump yourself up somewhere to CLOSE to maintenance and sit there for a while- I would say AT LEAST 3 months to see where you land, then take it from there.
3> WAY TO GO!!! You have accomplished what few accomplish.0 -
Dont think of it as loosening the reigns, because it shouldn't be.
Maybe give yourself a new goal to obsess over? Focus on building muscle tone, which will require a slight increase in calories.0 -
Hi and congrats on your weight loss.
The key thing here is to remember that upping your calories to maintenance mode isn't going to suddenly make you gain 100lbs.
What i would suggest, if you haven't already done so, is to change your weight loss goal to 0.5lb a week. That should up your calories, but still be working at a deficit to lose those last couple of lbs. And it will make the transition to maintenance cals easier when you feel its time to change.
Keep tracking. Maintenance is just essentially more calories to play with. Keep up the exercise and enjoy more healthy fabulous foods!
The best maintenance advise anyone ever gave me was to have a weight range - a range of maybe 3-5 lbs that you are happy in. If you go over it, you can go back to eating at a deficit. Otherwise you will just drive yourself crazy trying to stay at a certain weight.
And I think it's a good idea to only be weighing monthly. Aside from anything else, if you up your calories, the first week or 2 you may see a slight weight gain while your body adjusts to having the extra calories. But in the long run, its the best idea 0 -
Up your calories and set FITNESS goals now. Set goals within weight lifting, running, whatever you enjoy.0
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go back to the one who has helped you get there.....and let her help you figure out how much to eat with out gaining. That is what I'd do.0
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I, too, am scared of switching to maintenance. I have 7lbs to go but have been stuck at a plateau the past 3 weeks ( no change at all). I didnt have as much weight to lose as you ( 35-40 lbs for me) but I can see how scary it can be to start eating more, especially when you are scared of repeating the past.
I think like others said, start gradually increasing your calories each week until you reach the maintenance limit. Also, keep logging on MPF to keep yourself in check and I suggest weighing yourself every week instead of every month. It really is the only way to make sure you dont gain the weight back. Had I weighed myself regularly I dont think I would have gotten to where I was. Eating, looking in the mirror, and not keeping track of your food, calories, and weight could cause all the hard work to be undone.0 -
Congrats on reaching your goal weight! I am thinking when I reach maintance I'll still do all of the same things-- eat well, exercise and track both. You won't lose control here with MFP-- you will still be logging everything and know how you are doing. If you start to slip you will see it ( in big red numbers) and get back on track. Now go give yourself a give hug for accomplishing your goal and enjoy your body!
This is great advice. Now from me- I have been at maintenance for a while so maybe I can offer a little encouragement. I did not set my goal at maintenance initially for all the reasons you said- I put it at -250 ("lose half a pound a week") and kept it there - but I kept losing, so I bumped it up to maintenance. At maintenance I have still lost weight - I am now about 5lb BELOW goal, and trying really hard to put on muscle and get rid of remaining fat (which is loose and ugly haha - google "skinny fat" and you'll get the picture) - so a couple of weeks ago I set my goal to +250 and am working with weights.
Bottom lines:
1> As others have said, if you keep logging, and stick with MFP you will not lose control and gain back, unless you just flat out decide to do that.
2> MFP is not exact, neither is anything else. SO, bump yourself up somewhere to CLOSE to maintenance and sit there for a while- I would say AT LEAST 3 months to see where you land, then take it from there.
3> WAY TO GO!!! You have accomplished what few accomplish.
Awesome advice^^^ I've been on maintenance mode for 6 months and found it can be a struggle. I did what ^^^ suggested and as I got closer to my goal weight, I upped my MFP to lose less and less and eventually made it to goal weight...where I still lost 3 extra lbs, so it took me a few months to figure out what calorie amount was good for me...just continue to make healthy choices and exercise, and you will be fine It's a lifestyle change, remember I also log while on maintenance mode.
You've done an AWESOME job so far! Congrats!0 -
Maintaining is a scary thing for me also. What helps me is prayer first of all. Also, I work out this some dumbbells so that I can get some strengthening; more muscle less fat. I weigh myself regularly. I literally take it one day a time... Get you some good fitting jeans and put them on once a week to make sure that your weight is where you want to be.
Keep up on MFP's you 'll be fine
:happy:0 -
I've been maintaining since May, and have actually lost another 7 pounds on maintenance, although it seems to have leveled off the last month or two. I still log everything, because I like too, and I enjoy my food, knowing I am not going way over calories, etc. I was doing a pretty low deficit (only -250 a day) before I went onto maintenance, so it really wasn't a big change. Was nice just to have some extra calories to eat everyday. I have continued to up the exercise, because I am a runner and have been training for longer distances, and of course, that allows me to eat even more. I am probably averaging close to 2000 cals per day with exercise cals.
Don't be afraid. For now, just keep doing what you are doing, just with some extra calories. Keep weighing yourself occasionally to keep track and make sure you don't start gaining beyond normal fluctuations. Someday I may stop logging, but I will not stop weighing in. I have picked a weight threshold that if I go over it consistently for a few weeks, I will start cutting calories again.0 -
I've been maintaining since May, and have actually lost another 7 pounds on maintenance, although it seems to have leveled off the last month or two. I still log everything, because I like too, and I enjoy my food, knowing I am not going way over calories, etc. I was doing a pretty low deficit (only -250 a day) before I went onto maintenance, so it really wasn't a big change. Was nice just to have some extra calories to eat everyday. I have continued to up the exercise, because I am a runner and have been training for longer distances, and of course, that allows me to eat even more. I am probably averaging close to 2000 cals per day with exercise cals.
Don't be afraid. For now, just keep doing what you are doing, just with some extra calories. Keep weighing yourself occasionally to keep track and make sure you don't start gaining beyond normal fluctuations. Someday I may stop logging, but I will not stop weighing in. I have picked a weight threshold that if I go over it consistently for a few weeks, I will start cutting calories again.
THIS IS PERFECT!0 -
Don't be afraid! I've been in the maintenance phase since approximately July and I fluctuate 3 pounds give or take on any given week. Maintenance is awesome because you get to eat more and don't have to be quite as strict (or at least I'm not). I'm set at 1750 calories a day and still eat my exercise calories back so I'm usually around 2100 calories a day. I will say though that tracking is still just as important, if not more important to stay where you want to be. I can definitely see how easy it would be to slip back into just eating what I want when I want. Good luck and enjoy!0
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I've been maintaining for about 3 years now and it's not easy to find that balance. It is important to remember, though, that unless you completely stop caring about diet and exercise, and forget to weigh yourself once in a while to make sure you're still on track, it's going to be really hard to gain 100lbs back. What I'm trying to say is... While in maintenance, you should still count calories, at least for a while. And you should still weigh yourself to keep yourself in check. You can't gain the weight back overnight. Even if you do end up eating more calories, and at some point you should, unless you're consistently over your TDEE, you're just not in danger of waking up one day in a body you tried to get rid of.
It is kind of scary, yes. But MFP is a good tool for maintenance. Instead of just throwing the tool away and going back to old habits that made you overweight in the first place, increase your calorie intake gradually, monitor your weight at least weekly, and continue with the good eating and exercise habits you've developed in all this time.
You won't fall off the wagon unless you allow yourself to.0 -
bump for later0
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