if spouse is mean 2 u does that make u lose/gain motavation

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lovelyMYlovely
lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
in Motivation and Support
do u gain motavation when a spouse is mean 2 u? or does that make you lose motavation? such as being rude/ ignoring you/lack of communication when you want 2 talk 2 them/ sarcastic remarks...? because that makes me want to look even hotter but at the same time that negative energy makes me wanna eat my favorite junk food and cuddle up by myself and take a bath... I always get better with my break ups outside but miserable inside.... ah.... this can do wonders 2 the sucess on here :( I just think some people need to grow up.... when the goods are great the bads are worse..... hate my life sometimes.... :(
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Replies

  • kmuree
    kmuree Posts: 283 Member
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    Your spouse should be supportive of you. My long-term boyfriend of seven years is incredibly supportive of the healthy meals I cook, the exercises I do and is more than happy to help me and join me anytime I need that motivation and support.

    You deserve the same.

    I can't imagine it would be easy to have motivation when your spouse is not being supportive of you, emotionally or physically. You need to talk to your spouse and tell them how you feel. Sadly, if they want no part in changing their attitude, you may want to consider that you might be happier out of the marriage.

    Don't ever let someone take away your joy.
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    Your spouse should be supportive of you. My long-term boyfriend of seven years is incredibly supportive of the healthy meals I cook, the exercises I do and is more than happy to help me and join me anytime I need that motivation and support.

    You deserve the same.

    I can't imagine it would be easy to have motivation when your spouse is not being supportive of you, emotionally or physically. You need to talk to your spouse and tell them how you feel. Sadly, if they want no part in changing their attitude, you may want to consider that you might be happier out of the marriage.

    Don't ever let someone take away your joy.
    ya ur right.. we have no communication at all that is why we fight because we always misunderstand eachother... i try 2 talk but he only likes talking bout the things he likes... anyways ty! and ya i get motavation when he ignores me and stuff 2 be better in myself! but at the same time i dnt and i lose it and wanna comfort myself haha.. well this time im trying to stay faithful 2 eat less than my calories.. I wish i had a relationship where I can relax and not stress ever and get help haha... i guess stay at home moms dont get breaks......
  • byrnet18
    byrnet18 Posts: 230 Member
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    Your spouse should be supportive of you. My long-term boyfriend of seven years is incredibly supportive of the healthy meals I cook, the exercises I do and is more than happy to help me and join me anytime I need that motivation and support.

    You deserve the same.

    I can't imagine it would be easy to have motivation when your spouse is not being supportive of you, emotionally or physically. You need to talk to your spouse and tell them how you feel. Sadly, if they want no part in changing their attitude, you may want to consider that you might be happier out of the marriage.

    Don't ever let someone take away your joy.

    Exactly what I was going to say. :flowerforyou:
  • lucyford22
    lucyford22 Posts: 198 Member
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    I have to agree with the previous poster. I've been with my boyfriend for about four years and he has never been, "mean" to me...he has never been anything but supportive of me and all my endeavors.
  • RychelleD
    RychelleD Posts: 103 Member
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    Hes probably just saying discouraging things to you because he's insecure at the thought of you looking better and feeling better? BTW looking at your picture your beautiful as you are!
  • ajswriter
    ajswriter Posts: 117 Member
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    I gained motivation--it was a wake-up about how I had basically eaten all my stress onto my body. Exercise helped with stress reliever & I became healthier & better looking. Oh, and we're divorced. Life is too short to be badly treated! There are enough people to make us feel bad--it should NOT be the people who are supposed to support us the most! I hope you are comfortable enough to let him know how much his rudeness hurts you & he shapes up... :(
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    do u gain motavation when a spouse is mean 2 u? or does that make you lose motavation? such as being rude/ ignoring you/lack of communication when you want 2 talk 2 them/ sarcastic remarks...? because that makes me want to look even hotter but at the same time that negative energy makes me wanna eat my favorite junk food and cuddle up by myself and take a bath... I always get better with my break ups outside but miserable inside.... ah.... this can do wonders 2 the sucess on here :( I just think some people need to grow up.... when the goods are great the bads are worse..... hate my life sometimes.... :(

    I'm sorry you're feeling down! Spouse or significant other should be a supportive person in your life. If not either get rid of him or use the feelings to increase your strength and determination if at all possible. Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
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    My boyfriend is never mean to me. And why should he be? Why should people who love and care for each other be mean to each other?

    Break up. That's not how a relationship should work.
  • thoseblueeyes
    thoseblueeyes Posts: 812 Member
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    What a jerk! Get rid of him hun. Have you not looked in the mirror lately? Your very skinny and so pretty you deserve someone who will treat you right.
  • praxisproject
    praxisproject Posts: 154 Member
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    If my partner was "mean" to me, I'd be ditching him. It's either a partnership or it's not and that includes support for your dreams and goals (and your support for his).

    You deserve better. Don't let motivation be an excuse to stay in a bad relationship. Life is too short.
  • axialmeow
    axialmeow Posts: 382 Member
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    It would just make me hate and resent him.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    do u gain motavation when a spouse is mean 2 u? or does that make you lose motavation? such as being rude/ ignoring you/lack of communication when you want 2 talk 2 them/ sarcastic remarks...? because that makes me want to look even hotter but at the same time that negative energy makes me wanna eat my favorite junk food and cuddle up by myself and take a bath... I always get better with my break ups outside but miserable inside.... ah.... this can do wonders 2 the sucess on here :( I just think some people need to grow up.... when the goods are great the bads are worse..... hate my life sometimes.... :(

    that would make him not my spouse any more....

    my husband would never do any of those things, he loves me, so he isnt mean to me...
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I gained motivation--it was a wake-up about how I had basically eaten all my stress onto my body. Exercise helped with stress reliever & I became healthier & better looking. Oh, and we're divorced. Life is too short to be badly treated! There are enough people to make us feel bad--it should NOT be the people who are supposed to support us the most! I hope you are comfortable enough to let him know how much his rudeness hurts you & he shapes up... :(
    ok Im glad 2 see im not the only one ya I like eating when im stresed to... well glad 2 see things are going well 4 u... :)
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    It would just make me hate and resent him.
    im starting 2... 2 be honest.... but i still love him and i know he does love me but im the person he takes his stresses out on.. ima just keep doing my thing on here and get myself healthy... and ill decide as the time goes on what 2 do .. thanks
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    That makes me find a divorce lawyer. Fast.
  • betteryoubetterme
    betteryoubetterme Posts: 5 Member
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    Hes probably just saying discouraging things to you because he's insecure at the thought of you looking better and feeling better? BTW looking at your picture your beautiful as you are!

    SO TRUE!! Screw him you're amazing !
  • 2muchsauce
    2muchsauce Posts: 1,078
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    It just made me want to get out of the house and working out was a great solution to get my mind right:)
  • msshiraz
    msshiraz Posts: 327 Member
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    It would just make me hate and resent him.
    im starting 2... 2 be honest.... but i still love him and i know he does love me but im the person he takes his stresses out on.. ima just keep doing my thing on here and get myself healthy... and ill decide as the time goes on what 2 do .. thanks

    Honestly- and it is that simple, you don't hurt the ones you love. Its one thing to once in a while say the wrong thing, but a loving partner is your friend, he cares about his words and your heart, and would not do anything to intentionally hurt you. If you have had this conversation and it continues, you have to ask yourself how much emotional abuse you are willing to take- because that is not love. You may love him, but no one who loves someone hurts them (I hate to give relationship advice without knowing everything)- but these are basics of true love- which is good and kind at all times, which cherishes your heart for what it is, something that is tremendous in love, but can also be broken.

    Wish you well- the choices you make in diet and fitness are yours, you live with the results, good or bad. Also, no one can take anything away from you unless you let them!
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
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    If my spouse was constantly mean and snidey to me it would motivate me to drop 155 pounds in 5 minutes :)
  • bahacca
    bahacca Posts: 878 Member
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    I'm with the pp-if my spouse were MEAN to me by saying condescending remarks, I'd get hot and LEAVE! That is emotional ABUSE. Yeah, he may not be punching your face, but if he is destroying your self worth, same difference. I hope you can find strength inside and out, become the person YOU want to be and then decide if that person is worth it in the end.

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