Feeling a little bit silly - weights

So, i've been venturing into the weight area, using both machines and free-weights.
I looked up some beginner programs on bodybuilding.com to get an idea of what to do, and it feels pretty good, but what i've discovered is that i'm SO WEAK!!!! My legs are ok, I can usually use about 80-90lbs right now so I feel pretty good about that. But my arms, 30lbs is REALLY pushing it, I wish that were an exaggeration but I have zero upper body strength! It's rather embarrassing and i'm starting to feel a little self conscious about it as I see people who also look to be beginners lifting much heavier than me. I guess what i'm wondering is...do you think it will improve rather quickly?? Should I be doing something differently weight wise? Right now i'm doing 3 reps of 10 for each exercise, using the 30lbs (less for things like lateral raises which are crazy hard to me), I try to use what feels challenging. Am I going about this the right way?

Replies

  • ksyp92
    ksyp92 Posts: 46 Member
    Im the same way! My poor arms are SO weak. When i do front raises/side raises i can only do 5 lbs. The reason i cant do pushups is because of my arms too! You should just gradually increase the weight over time and you will be able to do more and more!
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
    Don't look at other people - keep track of what you do and you will be amazed at YOUR progress....
  • Firefightergirl18
    Firefightergirl18 Posts: 40 Member
    Me too!!! I can barely do a girl push up. I can do 90lbs on the leg press. I was trying to dead lift last night. It was not pretty. :/ Chest press, no bueno. The stuff I can do, its not many rep till i start shaking.
    I feel so pathetic.
    Hopefully someone will have some good advice
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    Don't look at other people - keep track of what you do and you will be amazed at YOUR progress....

    That is good advice. I try, but I get curious to see what they're doing to see if it's something I could incorporate to get better. I need to learn to not compare.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    You have more upper body strength than me! I only bench 40 & over head press 25!
    My legs aren't even as strong as urs, now I feel weak. Tho I only do squats, deadlifts, leg extensions and hamgstring curls for my legs. I don't even go to a gym to use the machines.
    When I first started lifting, I was told to just do the compound lifts, they're more bang for ur buck.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    I'm glad it's not just me. I've had to adjust weights down after a frail (or rather frail looking!) elderly little lady got off the machine I was waiting on. But I have to start somewhere, and I know I used to be much stronger, and I will be again. But only if I suffer the 'humiliation' of my wimpyness first.
  • Joreanasaurous
    Joreanasaurous Posts: 1,384 Member
    Everyone has to start somewhere. I'm the same way. I'm a total weakling, but I have slowly been noticing an improvement. I'm getting there.
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    LOL.
    I too have had to do this.
    I'm glad it's not just me. I've had to adjust weights down after a frail (or rather frail looking!) elderly little lady got off the machine I was waiting on. But I have to start somewhere, and I know I used to be much stronger, and I will be again. But only if I suffer the 'humiliation' of my wimpyness first.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    Me too!!! I can barely do a girl push up. I can do 90lbs on the leg press. I was trying to dead lift last night. It was not pretty. :/ Chest press, no bueno. The stuff I can do, its not many rep till i start shaking.
    I feel so pathetic.
    Hopefully someone will have some good advice

    You have to start from somewhere!! And the number on the weight isn't what's important. Something I need to tell myself too. Do bench press, over head press, bent over row, squats & deadlift. 3 sets, 8-10 reps. And just work your way up. You will get there! It's very encouraging to see yourself get stronger. And sometimes it happens sooner than u think!
    Push ups, I can only do a few on my toes, but quite a bit on my knees. I did a program that they were in a LOT, so I got used to them. Those just take practice. If you're still losing weights, those should get easier as u lose.
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    I 100% can't bench 40 yet, that's amazing!
    I think the only reason my legs are so strong is because I don't own (and have never owned) a car so I have to walk everywhere, otherwise I fear my legs would be really bad because I sit at a desk all day.
    You have more upper body strength than me! I only bench 40 & over head press 25!
    My legs aren't even as strong as urs, now I feel weak. Tho I only do squats, deadlifts, leg extensions and hamgstring curls for my legs. I don't even go to a gym to use the machines.
    When I first started lifting, I was told to just do the compound lifts, they're more bang for ur buck.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    my upper body is much weaker than lower body. i suppose most women are like this.

    i find doing compound lifts that work multiple muscles at one are better at developing strength than isolation stuff.

    so bench press, overhead press, barbell rows, assisted pullups are better for me than bicep curls, tricep kickbacks etc.

    the only exception i make is isolation shoulder work like YTWL and that's because i'm working on rehabing a shoulder injury and the direct work with light weights is really helping
  • victorious27
    victorious27 Posts: 250 Member
    I want to type "LOL" so badly, but not because you feel self-conscious. I've been "limping around" (for lack of a better word) because I did my first set of strength training on Tuesday. I was supposed to do it again today, but I have decided that my body would only go on strike. So I'm waiting until tomorrow, instead.

    I don't know how much I was lifting, as it was my first day and I let my brother control everything as he knows a lot about weight lifting...but I was still pleased that I went out and did it. (ETA: And he actually told me..I just don't remember, lol.)

    Which that is going to be my advice to you. You are going out and doing it. You're going to get better, just give it time. Only the big, mean, green Hulk gained all his muscle at once -- everyone else has worked for it. :wink:
  • megalin9
    megalin9 Posts: 771 Member
    When you say 30lbs, what are you referring to? 30lbs total on a barbell? How much is the barbell? A 30lb dumbbell in each hand or 30lbs total (2 15lb dumbbells)? Just curious because I feel like I'm lifting "heavy" for me and really starting to see some muscle definition in my biceps and arms, and I use 20lb dumbbells for bicep curls and tricep presses. I don't feel weak at all. In fact, I feel pretty beast. :) So if you are able to do a curl with a 30lb dumbbell, I would say that's pretty impressive. I JUST started benching, so I'm starting little to see what I can do. Right now, I'm doing 65lbs (20lbs on a 45lb barbell).
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    So, i've been venturing into the weight area, using both machines and free-weights.
    I looked up some beginner programs on bodybuilding.com to get an idea of what to do, and it feels pretty good, but what i've discovered is that i'm SO WEAK!!!! My legs are ok, I can usually use about 80-90lbs right now so I feel pretty good about that. But my arms, 30lbs is REALLY pushing it, I wish that were an exaggeration but I have zero upper body strength! It's rather embarrassing and i'm starting to feel a little self conscious about it as I see people who also look to be beginners lifting much heavier than me. I guess what i'm wondering is...do you think it will improve rather quickly?? Should I be doing something differently weight wise? Right now i'm doing 3 reps of 10 for each exercise, using the 30lbs (less for things like lateral raises which are crazy hard to me), I try to use what feels challenging. Am I going about this the right way?

    Same here. I mostly use machines, and I am slowly getting into the free weight area.

    I can do 208lbs on the leg press--the iso-lateral one

    I can do about 130-140lbs on the hip adduction and abduction machines ( the thigh machines)

    I can do about 40lbs on the leg machines ( the ones where you lift or press down)

    The most I can do on ANY of the cable machines is 25lbs, and I am super lucky to do 2 sets of 8 reps. Most of them I do 15lbs, and am shaking when I am done :(

    I do pull ups on the assisted pull up machine. I can do a whole 5 reps of the 3 different grips. I can do 15 tricep dips...but I need 115lbs of assist right now--that means I am only 'lifting' about 82lbs of my body weight :(
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    Everyone starts somewhere. I was a skinny 130 lbs weakling when I began lifting my junior year in high school.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    I 100% can't bench 40 yet, that's amazing!
    I think the only reason my legs are so strong is because I don't own (and have never owned) a car so I have to walk everywhere, otherwise I fear my legs would be really bad because I sit at a desk all day.
    You have more upper body strength than me! I only bench 40 & over head press 25!
    My legs aren't even as strong as urs, now I feel weak. Tho I only do squats, deadlifts, leg extensions and hamgstring curls for my legs. I don't even go to a gym to use the machines.
    When I first started lifting, I was told to just do the compound lifts, they're more bang for ur buck.

    Wow, you walk everywhere?! I bet ur legs really are strong!
  • I agree with what most others have been saying so far. Don't worry at all about using "light" weights. You're DOING IT, which is the critical part; the gym/weights/machines are not just for people who are already muscular, and they have the whole range of weights for a reason. If it makes you feel better, the routine I've been doing lately is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9LEjEV2n1Q , which has forced me to use a lot less weight than I'd otherwise do for 8-10 reps on a bench or something. I'm still getting a hell of a workout, though, so who cares?

    My other two comments though are:
    1. Even though it is perfectly acceptable to be using "light" weights, you should still be pushing yourself to add weight whenever possible (without injuring yourself). On multiple occasions I've thought I was maxed out at a certain weight, but I'd try the next weight up after a couple weeks, and push through it to my surprise.
    2. For me, anyway, setting a MFP goal to gain 0.5 lbs/week, even if I undershot it sometimes, helped me build strength much more quickly than when I was on a lose 0.5 lbs/week or even maintain goal. Keep that in mind if you hit a plateau.

    Congratulations on taking this step, though! Don't feel silly; feel proud!
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    How much you weight you use will depend on the exercise as well as your muscle strength. And don't worry, it is actually very normal for women to have poorly developed upper body strength. At least you are doing something about it!
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    Just work on you, and do your best! Everyone has to start somewhere my friend :)
  • RychelleD
    RychelleD Posts: 103 Member
    When I started working out I couldn't do a girl pushup. So I started doing them on the wall, than I did them on an incline. I removed the cushions off my couch,supported myself on the edge of the couch and did them on my knees that way. Eventually I could do "girl pushups" Now Im finally able to do regular pushups. It felt like a real victory lol. Also when I started doing 30 day shred I found that helped my upper body strength as well. There is alot of routines using weights, planks etc. I noticed a difference quite quickly. Good luck and don't give up!
  • When I first started lifting, I referred to my arms as "tyrannosaurus arms." :laugh: They were so weak.

    Trust me, things will improve! You'll find your arms getting stronger and you're able to lift heavier. :smile:
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    Although I agree not to look at other people to compare yourself and say "Oh, I suck compared to them"
    DO look at them, get an idea of their form (hopefully it's correct!) and tell yourself you will do that one day. I used to not be able to do more than one pushup, and I can do about 25 of the real not-girl pushups.
    It's actually exciting to see other people doing things bc if they can, you can too, just not today.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    Don't look at other people - keep track of what you do and you will be amazed at YOUR progress....

    That is good advice. I try, but I get curious to see what they're doing to see if it's something I could incorporate to get better. I need to learn to not compare.

    That's fine that you do that but you have to remember that every one is different. It doesn't matter how much you're lifting right now it only matters that you are lifting. My shoulders are very weak and sometimes I feel that small pang of embarrassment when I have to reach for the 15lbs to do lateral raises when every other weight exercise I do is very heavy. Just keep doing what you're doing and you will improve, as long as you continue to up your weight.

    ETA: Chances are good that no one in the gym is looking at you and snickering over the amount of weight you're lifting. :wink:
  • I think most reasonable adults are going to know that everyone starts somewhere. Don't worry about it :)
  • Jennifer_Lynn_1982
    Jennifer_Lynn_1982 Posts: 567 Member
    Best advice I had was that you shouldn't do more than 10-12 reps and those last 2-3 reps should be really hard, if they're not, then increase your weights and do as many as you can until you can reach 10-12 reps. Repeat. When I say it should be hard to lift the last few, it should be hard....not kind of hard. Do push ups as well so you can see how much your upper body strength is increasing....Good luck! Weightlifting is an excellent way to improve the shape of your body so stick with it 3 days per week if you can :)
  • theologynerd
    theologynerd Posts: 264 Member
    If you're curling 30lbs., that's really impressive as a beginner. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm not even going to write down what I curl! ETA: It's a lot less than 30.
  • csheltra26
    csheltra26 Posts: 272 Member
    I would recommend doing 10 reps max to build muscle. 3 sets is a good number.
    Once 3 sets of 10 reps starts to get easier I will increase the weight on the last set. Then when I move to all sets lifting the same weight I generally start at 6-8 reps. You want to lift heavy to build muscle and I find that's working for me.

    Good luck!
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    Thanks everyone, this has made me feel a lot less silly and there are a lot of really good tips in here!! I really appreciate it!