Family is whining about my new cooking style

Marlitharn · November 2012

I've been tracking and trying to eat better for a couple of months now, which includes paying more attention to what I'm cooking. And since neither my husband nor my teenage daughter can be bothered to learn to cook (don't even get me started on that one), that means they eat what I make.

Now it's not like I took away their fried mozzarella and tried to give them tofu and sprouts instead. I've been trying to find healthier ways to prepare the foods we all like - for example, making Skinnytaste's spinach lasagna rolls which are 225 calories a serving instead of my usual lasagna which is cheesy and nommy and 450 some-odd calories a serving, or subbing ground turkey for ground beef, or using whole wheat stuff instead of refined white stuff.

It's very frustrating to serve a meal that I worked hard on and be greeted with an unenthusiastic "It's okay. I like your _____ better" with _____ always being some high fat high carb thing I've cooked in the past. I gave them roasted red pepper soup the other day that was awesome IMO and was told it wasn't as good as my ham and cheese potato soup. Um, yeah, they're two different things - can't you like them both??

I do still sometimes cook the old favorites like the aforementioned ham and cheese potato soup (which is da bomb but the calories are crazy high) but I'm getting discouraged (and very very irritated) by my family's apathy and complaining.

gerripho · November 2012

Since you are the one doing the work, you shouldn't have to put up with that. Warn them once! Tell them that the next such complaint will result in the food being removed from them and you will replace it with NOTHING. You will have to be certain that you will be able to follow through. Once warned, the next time someone complains, rise and take their plate directly to the disposal or trash bin and away it goes. That should do it.

peuglow · November 2012

That's garbage. They should be happy to have a meal that's prepared for them. They can either learn to cook for themselves or appreciate your hard work.

LoraF83 · November 2012

Couldn't you just explain to them that a healthy diet is about moderation. So, that means that you will make the old favorites sometimes and the rest of the time you are going to make new favorites. And then, get them involved with learning how to cook new, healthy foods with you.

And if that fails, tell them to "suck it up, buttercup" cause health is important to your family and they get what they get and don't get upset. Starving children in Africa and all that. They eat what you make or they don't eat.

126siany · November 2012

Agree with the others that if they aren't going to cook, they must learn to eat what you put in front of them without complaints.

But I agree with your family on the whole wheat pasta--it's horrible and not much better for you than the regular stuff. The Ronzoni Smart Taste has a much better texture than whole wheat pasta, looks like normal pasta (although it doesn't expand quite as much in cooking) and is healthier than normal pasta. Maybe it would be a decent compromise with your family?

Br4ndi · November 2012

husband and teenager can cook for themselves...maybe a few nights of sitting down to a big ol can of cook it yourself, their attitude may change

rockerbabyy · November 2012

Since you are the one doing the work, you shouldn't have to put up with that. Warn them once! Tell them that the next such complaint will result in the food being removed from them and you will replace it with NOTHING. You will have to be certain that you will be able to follow through. Once warned, the next time someone complains, rise and take their plate directly to the disposal or trash bin and away it goes. That should do it.

this!
i havent had this issue with my kids and hubby, but when my inlaws moved in with us i was including them in our dinners. just about every night my father in law complained about SOMEthing - it wasnt even when i was on a healthy cooking kick, i just wasnt making what he liked. finally one night after a rude comment, i took his plate away and told him they could make their own dinners from then on.

MinnieInMaine · November 2012

LOL! Hm, I think the all or nothing approach is a little much...but I get it in a way. I do most of the cooking in our house and have told Hubs if he didn't like it he could take over any time! He's actually a great cook but has to be in the right mood to do the work. I'd rather cook anyway - gives me more control over the calories and portions. if he had it his way, we'd be eating steak and potatoes just about every night.

Anyway, in my house, we have a joke. If Hubs has cleaned his plate (or mostly cleaned it) I know he must've like the dish well enough so if I hear a complaint I just say "oh yeah, I can tell you really hated it", give a big grin and show him his plate. It's only when he barely touches things that I know something went very wrong and I take that recipe out of the rotation.

Sometimes we have to compromise. What about it didn't he like? The only things Hubs really can't stand are beans/lentils and brown rice. The texture of these things just throw him for a loop. However I have found that if I do half and half brown rice and white rice, he can't tell the difference so much. Also, when using beans in recipes, I puree most of them and only leave some whole for presentation. Side benefit - the pureed beans thicken soups/stews and you still get the nutrients!

In the beginning, I used to hide packages and it worked very much to my advantage. He tried to balk once when I was using turkey keilbasa for a recipe...until I informed him that I'd been using it for months and he never knew the difference. Same with whole wheat pasta. I did this because I knew if he saw any indication on the packaging that this was something healthier, he wouldn't be happy. But once he knew he'd had it and liked it, he was fine. It's just a mind game...

Good luck!

P.S. We both hate gruond turkey so I always just use the leanest ground beef I can find. And ditto on Ronzini Smart Taste - that stuff is awesome!

magj0y · November 2012

I have 2 kids that barely weigh 110. They're underweight, high metabolism and have to eat like pigs to maintain their weight. One is active and way tall so she needs to eat _more_. I have to make compromising meals, it's not a choice in my house.

soup; make one large batch for them that they like, and thaw when you need it.
lasagna, make a few smaller ones for them, you can also make one side "skinny"
Mc 'N cheese is ridiculous and I skip it and eat a bigger veggie serving.

My husband and kids hated any of my spicy foods, but hey! More for me. I'd make a decent sized batch and simply reheat it and make their favorite foods that I hate and have no desire to eat.

Me and the kids love mexican, the husband hates it. Solution? I make an extra portion of what he likes and thaw out out and reheat it while I'm cooking up the enchiladas. Logistically, there are ways to compromise.

jnnfr_klein · November 2012

i agree with her it work with me and my brothers and sisters when i was at home when my mom did it

quixoteQ · November 2012

Have you recently changed your clothing style? Because if you have, then that would tabulate more closely with the thread I thought I clicked. In related news, I'm going to go learn how to read. Further bulletins as events warrant.

samanthasimps0n · November 2012

I agree with Lora! Treat this as an opportunity to teach your kids about healthy eating and lifestyles. Before you know it, they will be on their own and they will THANK you for teaching them how to cook and eat healthy

P.S. Could you give me your roasted red pepper soup recipe?!

therealangd · November 2012

People are just resistant to change

They will get over it. You are doing a good thing by making healthier alternatives for your family. Keeping the family faves in the rotation but just less often is a great compromise. Save those meals for your heavy workout days.

mikereynwoohoo · November 2012

Now I'm not the cook and my wife's on board with what we are now both doing. But in your case, it will never change unless you withstand the pressure to give in. Don't do it. Give them their gut bombs one a week and you just eat less of it. They need to compromise just like you do, or they cook themselves. Find the middle ground. But don't give up just cause it's hard.

dreamer722 · November 2012

My kids learned long ago what my standard reply was to complaints about what was cooked for dinner.

"You don't have to eat it but there will be nothing else so either eat it or starve."

That solved any issues quickly.

3foldchord · November 2012

That is when I take my plate to my room and eat while watching Netflix, and tell them they have kitchen clean up....

Thankfully, they almost never do that. But I have said on many occasions..." If you want something different, there's the pantry and the stove --->> make it yourself"

Now, if I ASK THEM what they think and they say "it,s OK, but I like your XYZ better.", then that is fine, because I asked and they answered truthfully, but unsolicited negative opinions are another story.

lynnacuff · November 2012

my husband eats what ever i put in front of him..wants to lose weight, but usually has a couple of pb&j sandwiches , or bread and butter at night...honey buns when he stops at the store in the a.m. and then wonders why he doesn't lose weight...lol
he cooks too, we buy most of our meats in bulk and portion them out so even if he cooks i know how much i can have.if he does cook and i am not sure about it i enter it as a recipe for a ballpark #.

kelseyhere · November 2012

When my boyfriend was doing the same thing, I threatened to stop cooking for him altogether. Then I actually did stop. After 2 nights of going hungry he shut up and started eating what I make with a lot less complaints.

jrsey86 · November 2012

You know, when I was younger, my mom decided to cook a lot healthier. At first, my sister and I complained about it. But as time went on and she continued cooking things healthfully, I grew to actually prefer it. I like the firmer texture of whole wheat pasta and I learned to appreciate the taste of food itself without the addition of gratuitous amounts of butter and sauce.

Take a breath, stay strong. You're not only undoing years of bad eating behavior on your part, but you're also trying to change the eating patterns of two unwilling participants. They'll come around. I promise.

Marlitharn · November 2012

The funny thing is they actually LIKE my spaghetti and meatballs made with whole wheat pasta! I'll try the Ronzoni, though, I think the whole wheat stuff has kind of a funny aftertaste.

When I leave them to their own devices - when I'm working evening shift, for example, or sometimes when I just don't feel like cooking - they tend to subsist on grilled cheese sandwiches or scrambled eggs (husband) or buttered toast (daughter). Or if I plan ahead and do something like throw a chicken in the crockpot they'll eat that and ONLY that. For crying out loud, there's bags of veggies in the freezer - you don't even have to find a bowl, they steam in the bag!

Just...grrr.

gailmelanie · November 2012

Remind them that your kitchen is not a short-order restaurant. They eat what you cook because they're too lazy to learn how then they shouldn't be complaining because they are being served fresh, nutritious food. It is true that some of the foods that get us all into trouble and onto this website to combat that trouble are "nommy," but that doesn't mean that fresh nutritious food is not good food. I have to say that my husband is the cook in our family, not because I don't know how to cook, but because he gets home before me after work and I'm very slow when I cook, so everyone would be waiting like vultures for their dinner if I cooked. Therefore he cooks and I appreciate that very much, but I don't have to eat everything served, especially if I know it is a very high calorie food, and my husband's feelings aren't hurt by that. I always thank him for preparing the food, even if I don't like it or don't eat it and your family should be thanking you for the service you perform for them, not complaining about it. Provide them with the recipes for that "nommy" food they like and tell them to make it if they want that.

Family is whining about my new cooking style

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