Family is whining about my new cooking style
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I agree with Lora! Treat this as an opportunity to teach your kids about healthy eating and lifestyles. Before you know it, they will be on their own and they will THANK you for teaching them how to cook and eat healthy
P.S. Could you give me your roasted red pepper soup recipe?!
It's a Skinnytaste recipe: http://www.skinnytaste.com/2009/10/roasted-red-pepper-soup.html And it's really really good.
I guess I just wish my family would be a little more supportive and a little less dismissive. The beast in my avatar loves my cooking and tries to steal it whenever possible.0 -
I would always tell the whiners "then fend for yourself!" Which soon got shortened to FFY. "Don't like it? FFY!"0
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Keep doing it either they learn to cook, or eat your food good luck!!
By the way does anyone have a low calorie snack for the night when i am watching t. V.???
And not carrots and celery. I just started and it is hard the first few days. PLEASE!!!!!0 -
Keep doing it either they learn to cook, or eat your food good luck!!
By the way does anyone have a low calorie snack for the night when i am watching t. V.???
And not carrots and celery. I just started and it is hard the first few days. PLEASE!!!!!0 -
I would have a long talk for them about respect for you. I wouldn't let my 8yo and 2yo speak to me like that, let alone a much older child and my husband. I would also speak to them about the fact you feel that they are not supportive of you either.
After you have a talk and have warned them, if they complain chuck their dinner in the bin.If they continue cook only for yourself, if they live off crap that is up to them, but don't shop for it,don't pay for it, don't cook it and don't clear up after them.
Not liking something is one thing, *****ing/moaning/whining is another. If amazes me the amount of people who have a complete lack of respect for their loved ones.
I also just really really hate whining.0 -
I have picky eaters too (they are 9 and 11) and I don't want them to hate every meal I make. I believe in moderation...for instance I do make cheeseburgers and fries for a meal, but I use lean ground beef and whole wheat buns, and I make the fries myself in the oven with fresh potatoes, and I will add a veggie too. Another meal I make is chicken fajitas...all fresh ingredients, grilled chicken breast, whole wheat tortillas, and I even put spinach in the peppers and onion mixture (they don't even know). You can't expect kids to go from eating whatever they ate to eating tofu, it just isn't realistic. My kids are starting to like different vegetables, but they only like certain ones and I try to prepare them in a way everyone enjoys them. I know from husband growing up in a family where he was expected to eat every bite (and his mom was a gung ho health nazi so no "kid" foods were even allowed in the house), he grew up with a ton of food issues and when he moved out at 18 he ate tons of junk food, and began a battle of his weight ever since. I want my kids to enjoy all foods, try new things, and not make a big deal of it.
Just keep what you're doing and experiment, but let them eat some "junky" foods too...it will all balance out.0 -
Oh, we still have "junk" food nights. (More of those than "health" food nights, if truth be told, which is why I struggle to come in at or under my allotted calories every day - I'm still a work in progress.) Last night, for example, was pizza night. Tonight I won't even be home so they'll have to fend for themselves, which means one will eat half a dozen scrambled eggs and the other will make toast all evening.
It gets really old, though, on the nights I try something new, to have to listen to them complain, or watch them sit there looking like martyrs, shooting me accusatory looks like I'm slowly poisoning them as they unenthusiastically lift forkfuls of food to their pouting lips.0 -
I can sympathize with you. I get the same minor complaints about things. I'm not cutting out the 'regular' stuff completely, I'm just tweaking it. I have started adding squash to my meals along with the mashed potatoes with milk and butter. I eat the squash, they have a bit of both. I make a big salad and a veggie along side of my creamed chicken casserole. Then I can have a bit of it, and fill up on salad and veggies. I did explain that things were changing, for the good of everybody. They don't turn up their nose quite as much now.0
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OH DO I GET THIS!,,, ME TOO!!!!!!!0
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Sometimes to be appreciated you need to step away. Just temporarily I would cook for yourself and not make enough portions to share with them. Let them know they're on their own for a while until they're ready to be on board and appreciate your cooking healthy FOR THEM. See how they like flying solo for a while.0
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Stop trying to please them. You're doing the cooking, make what you want and if they don't like it too bad. It's better for them. Of course they will still like the originals better, there are memories and homey goodness associated with that. Again, too darn bad. If they can't be supportive, I'd stop cooking for them all together and just make stuff for yourself.
And keep up the good work!0 -
My family has a choice: they can eat what I cooked, or they can have a peanut butter sandwich. I still get what I want (need), and they feel like they have a choice. Every couple of weeks, I make a family favorite and I fill up on a big ol' salad and a tiny portion of the dinner. Even on those nights, the same rules apply: eat what I made for the family, or have a PB&J.0
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It's very frustrating to serve a meal that I worked hard on and be greeted with an unenthusiastic "It's okay. I like your _____ better" with _____ always being some high fat high carb thing I've cooked in the past.
I may be off base here, but it sounds like they are responding to a question.
Aka, you asked, "So, what do you think?"
They respond, "It's okay. I like you ___ better."
If that's the case, you could try not asking them for an opinion and see if they offer one one their own (either positive or negative).
You could also try increasing the spice/flavor levels since there is less fat/sugar in the recipes now. That way they don't associate healthy with "bland."
I often double, triple or even quadruple what spice a recipe calls for in some cases.... especially garlic or black pepper. As far as hubby is concerned, there is no such thing as too much garlic, and I concur. As for black pepper... my limit is much higher than hubby's so I can't always crank that up a ton, but I often do use more than the recipe calls for.
Having said that, I've found that I don't like whole grain pasta. The texture is just all wrong compared to the normal stuff. I can put up with it in casseroles, but normally... ick. Since that's a health swap that neither hubby nor I liked, I try to just reduce the portion of pasta as compared to the veggies when we have it.0 -
I used to cook for my kids. They didn't like that food either! So now I cook what I want to and if they want some great! If not they know how to cook for themselves. My son is the worse and I do cook for him some, but my 16 year old girl is somewhat vegan so she has been doing her own cooking now for a while. Course I get to clean everything...sigh. Dunno how to change that. You are doing a great job! You need to put yourself first!
I also keep snacks on hand that I don't like but the kids do, like cheezits, boxed cookies, etc. Maybe join a local weight support group would help when the family is so down about you wanting to be more healthy? What about explaining to them that this is really important to you. That you want to live and be healthy to enjoy life and whatever comes along?
I have a friend who used to eat horribly and he decided to lose weight.... took a while but now he enjoys trying new things and cooks healthy. Just give your family time and don't let their criticism get to you. You know what is important and the good food is better for them too!
Keep with it!0 -
my 56 year old husband is non supportive at all. Yes right now he's bringing home the money but I'm doing all the work around here..including meals..so when he scrunches up his face...I'm like it eat or you know how to make a sandwich! At this point I really don't care. I would think he would want to eat healthier too...but I keep plenty of crap on hand for him to knock himself out with. Ingrates -- just don't deal with them
and ps my 25 year old daughter and 21 year old son both work and live at home...so they are both in charge of their own groceries and meals if they don't like what I'm cooking.0 -
My mom always used the acronym KYO Kill your own...I would always tell the whiners "then fend for yourself!" Which soon got shortened to FFY. "Don't like it? FFY!"0 -
It's funny, some of the foods I used to love, I just find absolutely disgusting now. I can't believe I used to eat that.
As someone previously said, people generally resist change. I deal with it a lot at work and I understand some of the psychology behind it. Mainly, you have to get them on board with it or else they are just going to fight. There are many books written on change management and how to deal with it. I'd suggest you look up the topic. Most of it is how to create change in a company, but it applies to family and just about any situation where something in your life changes.
At the end of the day, it's the right thing to do. Your family doesn't want to diet. So, it's not a diet, you just want to eat more heathful foods. Cheese soup is not healthful in any way anbd should be eliminated from their options. Dont' say it that way, but essentially, that's what you do. You also inform them that you are concerned for their health, not their weight, and you are now cooking for a healthy family. If they don't like it, they can cook their own damn meals.
And, that's about all there is to it. It's not that complicated.0 -
maybe a few nights of sitting down to a big ol can of cook it yourself, their attitude may change
lol.. :laugh:0 -
Point out to them the fridge/oven/microwave!
sit down and eat your meal...mmmm enjoy :laugh:0 -
My husband will complain at times and I ask what he doesn't like about it, maybe the rice was too crunchy, or the meat too fatty, but if downright doesn't like it, then I make something healthy he does like along with it. So when we have fajita's I cook mushrooms on the side because he doesn't like them. As for the kids, eat or don't but you aren't having anything else (they are too young to cook for themselves). Thats fixed it, they eat what I cook, but i sometimes indulge and make their favs!0
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I know how you feel. My husband can be a really picky eater. I started changing the way I cook because I need to lose weight and he was diagnosed with high blood pressure, and diabetes(which was a surprise since he is in pretty good shape). He likes most of what I make, but on a couple of occasions he actually would said he wasn't going to eat what the rest of us were and make himself a sandwich. Now I could understand if it is something he just doesn't like or cannot stomach, but I know what he cannot stand and don't make any of those things. He didn't want it because "he wasn't in the mood for it".
I was pretty upset since that isn't a good example for our little ones. We had quite a heart to heart talk on the matter and now he eats whatever I make without complaint.
Maybe you could tell your husband how his comments are frustrating. Ask him if he is going to support your efforts to improve your health and your families as well. If not then maybe he can learn to cook.0 -
It's very frustrating to serve a meal that I worked hard on and be greeted with an unenthusiastic "It's okay. I like your _____ better" with _____ always being some high fat high carb thing I've cooked in the past.
I may be off base here, but it sounds like they are responding to a question.
Aka, you asked, "So, what do you think?"
They respond, "It's okay. I like you ___ better."
If that's the case, you could try not asking them for an opinion and see if they offer one one their own (either positive or negative).
I got the same impression. If you are asking what they think, that's not a complaint. It's an honest answer to a question. If they are telling you this unsolicited, then I would consider it to be a complaint.0 -
My husband is good about eating my healthy cooking and actually loves alot of it, my kids however complain alot. Oh well we are all alot healthier now. So i just continue cooking healthy and cook their favorites every once in awhile. Or make something i know they like with it when I cook something they probably wont like.....but after awhile they get used to some of it and actually ask me to make it again0
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My family has a choice: they can eat what I cooked, or they can have a peanut butter sandwich. I still get what I want (need), and they feel like they have a choice. Every couple of weeks, I make a family favorite and I fill up on a big ol' salad and a tiny portion of the dinner. Even on those nights, the same rules apply: eat what I made for the family, or have a PB&J.
I had to laugh at this. My son who is 5 has the same choice. He ends up eating pb&j at least 2 or 3 nights a week. His sister is a better eater and my husband doesn't have a choice anymore. We had a nice discussion about how he should eat whatever I make as an example to the kids. If he isn't crazy about it he only eats a little and then gets a sandwich later.
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My other half always complains about me adding vegetables to what I'm cooking. I just dump them in anyway, I tell him to pick the vegetables out himself if he doesn't like them.0
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husband and teenager can cook for themselves...maybe a few nights of sitting down to a big ol can of cook it yourself, their attitude may change
^^^^This! Let's see how much they complain about your cooking when they have to do it themselves!0 -
It's very frustrating to serve a meal that I worked hard on and be greeted with an unenthusiastic "It's okay. I like your _____ better" with _____ always being some high fat high carb thing I've cooked in the past.
I may be off base here, but it sounds like they are responding to a question.
Aka, you asked, "So, what do you think?"
They respond, "It's okay. I like you ___ better."
If that's the case, you could try not asking them for an opinion and see if they offer one one their own (either positive or negative).
I got the same impression. If you are asking what they think, that's not a complaint. It's an honest answer to a question. If they are telling you this unsolicited, then I would consider it to be a complaint.
Usually the conversation goes something like:
Me: Mmmm, this is good!
Husband: I like your _______ better.
Daughter: It needs salt/butter/ketchup/BBQ sauce.
I have tried some recipes that we all agreed were losers, but so far I haven't made anything new that they acted the least bit enthusiastic about. And I'm a pretty good cook - nothing fancy, but I'm not afraid to experiment with recipes and seasonings, and my chicken stock will make want to slap your momma.0 -
Let em whine.. If they don't like it, they can cook for themselves. Stick to what you are doing, they will get used to it0
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I did a lot of cooking at my house and rather enjoy it, but I live by the old rule, "If you complain about the food, *you* get to cook next time." And that doesn't mean they get to order pizza.0
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I so understand what you're saying! Mine was the same way. Keep on keeping on and they will follow. You'll see! Don't cave under the pressure. I bet they truly appreciate what your doing :flowerforyou:0
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