I dont get it. Some people make me sick. Venting.

I'm sitting here thinking. I just do not get some people. Maybe my views in life are old fashioned.
My niece is making the biggest mistake of her childrens lives. Her posts on FB make me sick. People that support her make me sick. CPS took her baby (who just turned 5 mths old) and toddler. Her Boyfriend is a loser in the biggest way--wont work, stays drugged up, refuses to do anything that the CPS or judge tells him. Yet my niece is chosing him over her kids. CPS is looking to put them up for adoption if Kim does not pull through--not this year but late next year. She posts she loves her kids but stays with Joe. She tells people it is none of their business if she is with this guy to but out. My other, quite a bit older niece was like tell it girl on that last post. Really??? I have these urges to slap both of them.

I get heartbroken over seeing dogs that have been thrown out or in shelters that need homes so badly. People give them up for some reasons that cant be helped and I do understand those. But to get a puppy and then decide I dont have time for him, throw him away just makes me sick. Cats the same thing.

But these are children. How can anyone look into a baby's eyes and know that there is a choice to walk away because a drugged loser is more important. I would move heaven and hell if something happened and CPS took my kids away.

I know there are good people out there, but there are other people that just make me sick. I needed to vent guys, but sorry you had to hear this trash.

Debbie

Replies

  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
    Sorry to hear you are going through this and I too am sometimes horrified by the actions people take. I think the fact that it is family makes it even harder. I have a relative who continuously makes bad decisions and it is so painful to watch. I just don't understand people sometimes....
  • Ivey05131980
    Ivey05131980 Posts: 1,118 Member
    :( Sad...
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    Yeah, I hate when people use social media sites/forums and air their family's dirty laundry. You'd think they'd have more respect for one another than to do that. :noway:
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    I'm sitting here thinking. I just do not get some people. Maybe my views in life are old fashioned.
    My niece is making the biggest mistake of her childrens lives. Her posts on FB make me sick. People that support her make me sick. CPS took her baby (who just turned 5 mths old) and toddler. Her Boyfriend is a loser in the biggest way--wont work, stays drugged up, refuses to do anything that the CPS or judge tells him. Yet my niece is chosing him over her kids. CPS is looking to put them up for adoption if Kim does not pull through--not this year but late next year. She posts she loves her kids but stays with Joe. She tells people it is none of their business if she is with this guy to but out. My other, quite a bit older niece was like tell it girl on that last post. Really??? I have these urges to slap both of them.

    I get heartbroken over seeing dogs that have been thrown out or in shelters that need homes so badly. People give them up for some reasons that cant be helped and I do understand those. But to get a puppy and then decide I dont have time for him, throw him away just makes me sick. Cats the same thing.

    But these are children. How can anyone look into a baby's eyes and know that there is a choice to walk away because a drugged loser is more important. I would move heaven and hell if something happened and CPS took my kids away.

    I know there are good people out there, but there are other people that just make me sick. I needed to vent guys, but sorry you had to hear this trash.

    Debbie

    One of my best friends is a clinical psychologist. Several times a year she has the extremely sad task of evaluating children and their home environments in order to recommend to the state whether parental rights should be terminated. It's a gut-wrenching task. But some parents won't step up and take care of their kids. In the end, the best interest of the kids has to be considered, although living with foster parents ore even being adopted isn't ideal. It's a court proceeding, and all the parties are heard before a decision is made, but sometimes it's clear that the children will not thrive with their natural parents, sometimes they won't even survive.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    Yeah, I hate when people use social media sites/forums and air their family's dirty laundry. You'd think they'd have more respect for one another than to do that. :noway:

    Some people get relief from discussing painful matters, and it doesn't appear that the OP can do anything. That's why anonymity on the Internet can be a great blessing.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    That sucks but I agree with CPS for removing the children from the situation. They don't need that kind of start to life. Can any of your family members take them in?
  • Shannonpurple
    Shannonpurple Posts: 268 Member
    I'm sitting here thinking. I just do not get some people. Maybe my views in life are old fashioned.
    My niece is making the biggest mistake of her childrens lives. Her posts on FB make me sick. People that support her make me sick. CPS took her baby (who just turned 5 mths old) and toddler. Her Boyfriend is a loser in the biggest way--wont work, stays drugged up, refuses to do anything that the CPS or judge tells him. Yet my niece is chosing him over her kids. CPS is looking to put them up for adoption if Kim does not pull through--not this year but late next year. She posts she loves her kids but stays with Joe. She tells people it is none of their business if she is with this guy to but out. My other, quite a bit older niece was like tell it girl on that last post. Really??? I have these urges to slap both of them.

    I get heartbroken over seeing dogs that have been thrown out or in shelters that need homes so badly. People give them up for some reasons that cant be helped and I do understand those. But to get a puppy and then decide I dont have time for him, throw him away just makes me sick. Cats the same thing.

    But these are children. How can anyone look into a baby's eyes and know that there is a choice to walk away because a drugged loser is more important. I would move heaven and hell if something happened and CPS took my kids away.

    I know there are good people out there, but there are other people that just make me sick. I needed to vent guys, but sorry you had to hear this trash.

    Debbie


    Some people should not be allowed to breed. Well at least she know she is a bad mom and although she might love her kids is giving them to a better home. She must know she will never be a good mom.
  • sma83
    sma83 Posts: 479 Member
    Just spent the last 18 months going through this crap with my ex SIL. She lost custody of my brothers two children due to meth use, neglect and physical abuse that we did not know was happening since she refused to allow anyone in the family contact with the children. She failed 5 drug tests over the last 18 months, threatened the cps case worker and then had the nerve to cry to the judge that we were all just "out to get her". Both my niece and nephew have lasting emotional damage and have been in therapy this entire time. My brother did everything the courts told him to do, even stuff that wasn't fair seeing as how she was the one with a drug problem and not him. But he did it, all of it, bent over backwards but he made sure that he ended up with his kids. She on the other hand is still using drugs and still whining about how we "stole" her kids from her. Its heartbreaking when you have to watch children in your family go through stuff like this. I actually had the kids with me for about 6 months in kin-ship care. If you can at all manage it you may want to look into that and see if you can get the baby. So sorry you are having to deal with this.
  • Thanks guys,
    I agree that the kids would probably be better off being raised somewhere else since the father is like he is and has no interest in changing for the sake of the kids. I know that there is more to the story since CPS actually gave them a chance to do right before removing the kids. Like most of you said, it is a sad situation.
    Thanks for listening. I sometimes need a place to vent.

    Debbie
  • icimani
    icimani Posts: 1,454 Member
    I have a friend who is a foster Mom for kids with health problems. Currently she has 2 kids, 1/2 siblings, and there are 2 other siblings each with different fathers. 4 kids, 3 different fathers. All of the kids have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and a host of other problems, and I'm sure that other developmental problems will come up as they get older. When the last child was born, the mother tested positive for opiates and the father had to be hauled out of the room on a stretcher because he was so drunk he passed out. Makes a good case for forced sterilization, IMHO.

    It is a sad situation. I'm always amazed that we have to get a license to drive a car, but nothing is required when we have a child.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Yeah, I hate when people use social media sites/forums and air their family's dirty laundry. You'd think they'd have more respect for one another than to do that. :noway:

    Some people get relief from discussing painful matters, and it doesn't appear that the OP can do anything. That's why anonymity on the Internet can be a great blessing.

    Exactly!

    Speaking as a single mom, there is no way....no way in hell! My daughter is priority - no discussion, no quesions - she comes first. I've been told I sacrifice a lot for her but to me, it's not a sacrifice, it's just trying to be a good mother and raise a good person
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Yeah, I hate when people use social media sites/forums and air their family's dirty laundry. You'd think they'd have more respect for one another than to do that. :noway:

    No one knows who she or her niece is, at least.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    You can't change people. You can't make them care. You can't make them do the right thing.

    It's agonizing when there are kids involved. I pray things work out well for them, for you, and your family.

    Karma - what goes around comes around. You get what you give. Selfish choices come back to bite you eventually. Terrible that other people have to suffer.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Instead of wishing that she would step up, you should be glad that CPS is taking those children away from her. They can put them in a home with parents who actually WANT children and will love them and make them a priority. Sounds like your niece shouldn't be a mother and NEEDS those kids taken away from her, for their sake.
  • Yeah, I hate when people use social media sites/forums and air their family's dirty laundry. You'd think they'd have more respect for one another than to do that. :noway:


    If this is a jab at me for doing this--you are entitled to your opinion. However, I figured it was better to find a way to vent than to eat through my emotional stress.
    If this is aimed at my nieces for their facebook comments, it seems some people put everything and some do edit and monitor. It just depends on the person.
  • Instead of wishing that she would step up, you should be glad that CPS is taking those children away from her. They can put them in a home with parents who actually WANT children and will love them and make them a priority. Sounds like your niece shouldn't be a mother and NEEDS those kids taken away from her, for their sake.


    Yeah it is just frustration talking. If that is what it takes to give those kids a chance then I am all for it. They are just babies and I would hope they would find a home where they are loved and provided for in all ways. Thanks for reading and commenting.
    Debbie
  • Thanks to everyone for commenting.
    I know this is not the real place for putting this out here but venting in writing is more helpful than finding myself raiding the icebox or cabinets for a full out binge. That is the last thing I need to do.

    Debbie
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    Well, look at it this way. If the father is a druggie and the mother is choosing the father over the kids, what she's really choosing is drugs. Probably a safe bet she's a junkie too and junkies do not make sound, rational decisions. All you can really do is distance yourself from people like that.