Just a rant! Need to get it out!

raeleek
raeleek Posts: 414 Member
in Motivation and Support
I had a great get together with girlfriends tonight and there were a lot of pictures taken. Usually I am doing whatever I can to hide in them but tonight I didn't. I've been working fairly hard at getting in shape and making changes that I can live with and maintain. The inches and weight have slowly started to come off and so I'm feeling more confident and that's why I wasn't ducking and hiding in these pictures.

I get home and look at them online and I was frustrated/sad/annoyed/depressed......because there is the same fat girl in these pictures that there has always been. Every lump and bump. There I am like this massive fluffy lump marshmallow bunny next to all these other girls.

I am going to put out there that I know it takes time. I know that even though there may not be a huge physical change my body is getting healthier. I know I need to keep going and there is truly no part of me that wants to throw the towel in. I'm mainly just disheartened. I know that it is only my will and hard work that will change things for me.

I guess I just thought with all this work that even the slightest bit of difference would show and it just doesn't. I'm trying to keep a positive and strong but sometimes I just want to scream! I'm trying to stay motivated because my health is important but I'm not going to lie and say I don't want to be better looking. I see pictures of myself like the ones tonight and it just knocks me back.

Thank you for listening(reading) to me ***** and whine. It actually does feel better to get it out!

Replies

  • welshwoofer
    welshwoofer Posts: 56 Member
    You've already lost 53lbs!! That's loads!
    First of all give yourself a big pat on the back - thats a massive achievement!
    You see yourself differently to everyone else - we are all overly self critical - I bet others are noticing and maybe even a little bit jealous.
    Well done - you are an inspiration - keep going!
    xx
  • jen10st
    jen10st Posts: 325 Member
    Ok first things first, you've already lost 53 pounds, that's flipping awesome! Now go and get some old photos of yourself and put them next to those New ones and I guarantee you'll see a big difference .
    We're all very over critical of ourselves especially in photos. It's a photo that finally made me get serious about banishing my double chin (the first of many rolls increasing in size down my body).
    You've done an amazing job so far, your ticker says you're at halfway point so don't let some snapshots detract from how good you're feeling and looking :flowerforyou:
  • Susanthecatwhisperer
    Susanthecatwhisperer Posts: 141 Member
    Hey! Don't be so hard on yourself!! :noway:
    Look at your ticker! 53 pounds lost!? That's amazing! You're not the same person, you're less! That's something to be proud of!! I'm sure you FEEL better, more energy, right?
    Don't let one get-together get you down. You're still a work in progress. Don't feel bad about not being at your goal now, feel incredible about how far you've come!! :flowerforyou:
  • Colbyandsage
    Colbyandsage Posts: 751 Member
    Hey, don't be so hard on yourself! You have lost a lot of weight already. And from your profile, I think u look great :)

    We r our worst critics, I still hate pictures of me and I am at my thinnest in a long time. My husband says I Usually look horrible in pictures... It's true! I usually have my mouth open, blink or have a dumb look on my face. If I am drinking, it's much worse.
  • waistfinder
    waistfinder Posts: 27 Member
    I would feel disheartened too. What a great way to get rid of the negative feelings by ranting, than by smothering them in food or drowning in pity. I heard you, I read you. I felt it. Very legit feelings, very healthy way to cope. Long time ago, I weighed myself and what it told me did not reflect the effort I had been making.....so I took a hammer to the scale. Cathartic but expensive.
  • txbelle01
    txbelle01 Posts: 35 Member
    I agrees take photos! 53lbs is Amazing!
    That's like 5 small dogs!! lol I have only lost 32lbs
    and took pics and then looked at them after 90days
    and them difference is astounding!!
    Congrats on ur weightloss! I bet u look great!
    Don't let the negativity take over that's the
    Old you trying to sabotage ur success!
    Keep on with ur hardwork! ;)
  • dorothytd
    dorothytd Posts: 1,138 Member
    Pictures stink. Especially candid ones. Rely on those inches lost and have a friend let you pose in some flattering shots!
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    I understand completely. Don't lose your confidence! Keep reminding yourself that not only is it worth it in general, but YOU are worth the end result which will be the healthy and hot body you're working towards. Every hurdle along the way comes with it, but you've got this :drinker:
  • minkakross
    minkakross Posts: 687 Member
    I'm just curious if you were in new clothes? I ask because when I was at about 40 pounds down I still couldn't see it in pictures and no one at work was really noticing but then I bought new clothes that actually fit and everyone noticed, even me. Sometimes it's what we wear that contributes to our still looking the same size even though we've lost boat loads through our hard work. If it wasn't your clothes I would say not to be too hard on yourself cameras may tell the truth but sometimes we still don't see what they are showing us. I bet if you pulled out some older pics you would see that the lumps and bumps may be there but they are proportionately smaller :)
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    Your rant just helped me solve a mystery. I kept wondering why, this year, at age 53, my weight loss seemed so much easier.... even though it took longer than it did when I was younger, as in my 20's and 30's and early 40's.

    I don't compare myself to others this time around. It was all about me, myself and I. I use to say (half jokingly), when I grow up , I want to look like Christi Brinkly. Now I just want to be the best me.

    Congrats on your weight loss, hold the course and journey you want to be on and keep doing it for you. Be the best you. Take that negative energy generated from those pictures and turn it into a self realization that you are only competing with you. There will always be some one thinner, richer and smarter... but remember, there are also people fatter, poorer and less smart than you as well - so at this moment, all you have done is made you the best you you can be.

    I don't know when I started turning that last sentence into my belief, but I know I believe it now.
  • johnsmom3
    johnsmom3 Posts: 5 Member
    53 pounds is amazing...find a fifty three pound pumpkin or think of 10 five pounds bag of flour..that is what you lost and it is amazing!!!!! Keep up the good work..you are an inspiration to me!!!!
  • zombilishious
    zombilishious Posts: 1,250 Member
    You've lost 53lbs!!! That's huge!!!! We are often so much more critical of ourselves and it's hard for us to look at our imperfect selves and see how great we are doing. Because really, we are ALL imperfect. We see our own flaws in bright lights that others don't, and we see flaws that are only there to us!!!

    Take some time to congratulate yourself on your successes so far and don't get discouraged. Take some pictures in new clothes with your hair & makeup did, and put them side by side some old pictures. Really look at how far you've come - and keep reaching toward your goals!!!!
  • kidskart
    kidskart Posts: 79 Member
    Take the pics, have photos of fun with friends! If you don't you could end up with a decade of no photos of your life and your loves!

    I agree with the new clothes! My 'fat' clothes were so stretched out, there is no way I could look anything but fat in them, even 90 pounds smaller!!!

    Pull out your new pics and compare them to a photo of you 50 pounds ago. Be objective, I'll bet in a side by side comparison you CAN tell the difference! I was in denial about how heavy I really was. But pictures don't lie. Use your pic to mark your success and spur yourself on!

    Look at them for what they are, an indication that your not there yet and keep moving! Soon last nights pics will be in the pile of 'before' pics!

    Good luck!
    Lisa
  • shellyt1
    shellyt1 Posts: 119
    Your loss of 53 lbs so far gave you the confidence to not hide when picture were being taken! When you feel dishearted look at the pictures and get motivated again to continue. It is a hard road we are on and when we get down we have to push ourselfs harder that day to get back on track. Soon you will be the girl who is the strong and fit one in the pictures! Keep you your great work!
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    You've lost 53 lbs - I'm pretty sure you don't look the same as you did before! Firstly, you still have a way to go, so while the people around you are probably looking at you thinking you look fantastic, and seeing all the positive changes, I think it's natural that when you look at yourself, you see what there is still that you want to change. It's really frustrating to put so much work in, day after day, and to know that you still have a lot more that you want to lose.

    Secondly, it's very common for people to have a distorted perception of themselves when they lose weight. It can take the brain a while to catch up with what you actually look like. For a lot of people, pictures actually help and yo can see yourself more objectively than you can in the mirror. However, all pictures are not equal... I find that some photos of myself make me feel really good, as I can tell that I look so different from how I used to look. Other photos... not so much. I'm nearly at my goal now and the progress pics I take still make me feel a bit depressed sometimes! I don't know if maybe the amount of time I've spent thinking about it all over the past year has just changed my expectations and made me more critical of myself. Maybe some of the same is happening to you?

    Anyway, I do understand the frustration. Just try not to get too discouraged from it. You'll get there. Onwards and upwards! :flowerforyou:
  • VTMudRunner
    VTMudRunner Posts: 11 Member
    Pictures stink. Especially candid ones. Rely on those inches lost and have a friend let you pose in some flattering shots!
    The way we see ourselves takes a very long time to change no matter the weight loss. Don't judge yourself by pictures.
  • YoYo1951
    YoYo1951 Posts: 370
    Your weight loss is incredible. Be proud. It does help to let it out, to share those feelings. You are half way there, stay on track and you will see the results you want. You will be the best you there is. I can feel so pretty, and I have been due to my loss, but I am still now "there yet." When I look into the mirror, I see me. When I see a picture of me, I feel so ugly. I avoid pictures for that reason. They throw me off. We are our worst enemy. Don't let the enemy win this time. Keep at it. A picture is not who you are. It is what is in our hearts and souls. Have a fabulous loss and enjoy the ride:happy:
  • danifo0811
    danifo0811 Posts: 544 Member
    It gets better as you get closer to goal. From 190 to 150 I didn't notice much even though I lost a lot of inches. I felt smaller but looking at myself, I felt I looked the same. Below 150 I notice differences every couple pounds. I can also tell when I've regained them. ..

    Just keep it up!
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member

    I get home and look at them online and I was frustrated/sad/annoyed/depressed......because there is the same fat girl in these pictures that there has always been. Every lump and bump. There I am like this massive fluffy lump marshmallow bunny next to all these other girls.



    OMG! I know exactly what you mean. This happens every time I go home for family get togethers. I am feeling so good about how much I've lost and how good I am looking now. We take all kinds of pictures and then when I get home and start posting them to the rest of the family - there I am. The same old girl. Same old body. I really am starting to think that my MIND sees the same old me even when I do look different. It is very distressing. We have lost about the same amount of weight and it stinks that it only shows in the mirror when I am by myself. I feel for you - but I too do not know the answer! But, some day, I will see the girl that I am becoming in my pictures and YOU WILL TOO!! :flowerforyou:
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    I know how you feel - it's hard not to see the same person in the mirror anymore. Especially when you are mentally comparing yourself to someone else.

    I'm sure there IS a noticeable difference after 53lbs gone.....but it takes time for us to recognize those changes in ourselves. I've read that it can take 6 months to a year before we start really seeing the "new" versions of ourselves.

    Hang in there, keep doing the hard work and getting the results. You'll get to where you can see it and you're more comfortable. Just know that in the meantime, you're definitely not alone.
  • rachelilb
    rachelilb Posts: 179 Member
    You have lost over 50 pounds!! You should be so proud.....it's not a race and takes time. Congrats on the weight loss and keep up the good work. You DO look amazing. Don't be so hard on yourself :)
  • loadsandloads
    loadsandloads Posts: 353 Member
    Everyone has said it so well! You need to be proud and excited for what you have done and are doing! Keep up the great work!!
  • eileenchristine
    eileenchristine Posts: 228 Member
    I would feel disheartened too. What a great way to get rid of the negative feelings by ranting, than by smothering them in food or drowning in pity. I heard you, I read you. I felt it. Very legit feelings, very healthy way to cope. Long time ago, I weighed myself and what it told me did not reflect the effort I had been making.....so I took a hammer to the scale. Cathartic but expensive.


    OMG! I love it! Yeah! Take that ya *kitten*!

    I used to break dishes, specially right before we moved. House was for sale, lot of stress, 2 teenagers! Financial issues! Felt good to break sumptin. Now that I am in my new house I don't have so many dishes and my tile floors have taken enough dishes. Am going to have to find something else to vent upon! Friend gave me a cheapo scale. I broke it stepping on it wrong......oops. Tis ok, I use TOPs for my weigh ins. Don't need a damn scale telling me every day something I might not want to hear.

    Writing down crap, venting and then burning the negativity can be helpful too. Can be more honest than with strangers and then just let the wind take the negativity away! If fire is not an option can just rip it into really tiny pcs and flush it down toilet. Take that you creepy negative thinking wrong thoughts that weigh me down!
  • raeleek
    raeleek Posts: 414 Member
    Thank you all very much for the kind and inspirational words! This is why I love this site! I woke up this morning and was fresh and renewed and ready to go! The best to all of you and I truly appreciate your kindness!!! :drinker: :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • juliesjuke
    juliesjuke Posts: 93 Member
    Just hang in ther, you'll do great...:wink:
  • APBTChampion
    APBTChampion Posts: 93 Member
    Always remember that pictures don't always capture the entire story... think of all the amazing benefits you've given your body. You're healthier, stronger, faster... happier! Think back to all the NSV's you've had... soon, a picture you'll be proud of will BE an NSV. (Then you're required to post it for all of us to oooh and aaah over!)

    But in my honest opinion?

    Screw the camera. Screw the pictures. Screw the mirror. Best pep talk ever: put on your fattest pants and watch them drop to the floor!!!

    Keep it up, you're doing AMAZINGLY well!
  • dorothytd
    dorothytd Posts: 1,138 Member
    I also meant to mention that your profile picture looks great! So glad you feel better today.

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