Help - I'm sooo inconsistent! Strict vs moderation debate
sugarlips1980
Posts: 361 Member
Hi
Ok I'll try my best to condense my life story!...Always a bit chubby as a teen. Weighed 10 st 7 aged 18 (147 pounds to you Americans). Believed I was HIDEOUSLY fat as you do (would LOVE to be that now!). Really just needed to lose a few pounds and tone up. Got into a terrible cycle over the years of yo yo dieting, I'm sure many of you have been there. It was all or nothing - salads, very low cal and lots of exercise or junk food splurges because my diets were so unbearable. I'm in my early 30s now and I must have lost the same two or three stone about five times over (so bad for you). I reached my heaviest this year - 15 stone 7 (217 pounds) and decided enough was enough. I've been a serial quitter with smoking over the years too, from a few days to a few months here and there. Of course using quitting as an excuse to pig out. Putting on a few pounds with each quit x 10 = a lot of weight gain over the years!
I did know where I was going wrong. I came to the conclusion that deprivation doesn't work. That it's all about moderation. I have a skinny colleague who I watch eating fruit and a chocolate bar in one break time. That's what slim people do! But... My situation is a little different...I began having some neurological problems aged 26 (blurred and double vision, vertigo) and was not given a definite diagnosis then but told I possibly had multiple sclerosis. I did lots of reading about how you can help yourself but really, I wasn't at all strict about my lifestyle; I guess I was in denial. I got drunk a lot and pretended this wasn't happening to me! I had a second episode 3 years later aged 29, bringing my firm diagnosis. I was told I had a good prognosis and they didn't especially recommend I started drug treatment (some people can have MS mild and the drugs can be worse in side effects than the disease. On the other hand it generally does progress over time, over decades for some, and the drugs slow it down to some extent, it's a tough call to make really). And I hate to admit it but instead of throwing myself straight into a healthy regime I guess I struggled because I was on a bit if a downer. I hadn't started a family yet. Had a bit of a 'why me' pity party. Half heartedly tried to quit smoking and go on a healthy diet but returned to my unhealthy ways.
Im 32 now and over the summer I had words with myself. I've got to be consistent and know I'm doing all I can to help myself! Forget the self pity, where's that going to get me? Smoking is linked to the progression of MS. I quit smoking in July and I feel confident I've got that nailed after 4 months. I went cold turkey and used a quit smoking forum which helped enormously. I allowed myself a couple of months of not worrying about my weight but was determined to not allow myself to use it as an excuse to pig out so I joined a 12 week bootcamp, 3x a week in my local park. I didn't lose any weight but didn't pile anymore on either. Then 2 months ago I joined MFP and set myself the goal of losing 83 pounds AND creating healthy eating habits for life.
I started off great - lost 14 pounds in my first month woo! But I've stalled over the last month, grr! I feel deflated because I still have been exercising (loving Jillian Michaels DVDs), but lately, quite like when I was doing bootcamp, I'm just still eating too much. I've had some big blow outs with junk food or I've tried to eat healthy but gone over by a few hundred cals. I've mainly logged nearly every day though even the blow outs! At least I've maintained.
This is the diet I've done my research on and believe is the best for people with MS (or the basic principles for any inflammatory disease). It's based on the Swank diet (Dr Jelinek's take on it). It's a plant-based diet, with fish, that's low in saturated fat (under 15g, ideally under 10g) and high in polyunsaturated fat In order to reduce inflammation (the problem in MS). It's dairy and meat free (was a veggie anyway) and should exclude certain oils that are either unstable or contain too much omega 6 (trans fats, vegetable oil, palm oil, coconut oil, sunflower oil etc). Lots of flaxseed and olive oil and just unprocessed, clean food. Dr Jelinkek says it's really important to be strict. I can't go into all the detail here but let's just say im convinced it needs it be strict. Research shows people who eat under 10 g of saturated fat a day do better than those who eat 15g. Dr Jelinek says it may seem extreme, but compared to being in a wheelchair or being unable to swallow, it's not as hard!
I do believe that where I went wrong in the past is not to embrace healthy eating with treats in moderation. If it wasn't for my MS, I'd whole heartedly embrace that and aim to eat healthy 90% of the time, with a 'cheat meal' maybe once a week. Or fitting in a small choccie bar into my daily cals (eating the chocolate and the fruit in one sitting like my friend!). BUT, it is so different for me now. I lost this 14 pounds by eating healthy most of the time and not throwing it all away if I fancied a treat. But I became aware and felt stressed out that I wasn't following my MS diet to the letter 100%. I flip between telling myself, look, you have had yo yoing problems all your adult life, if you can change your eating habits to be healthy 90%, that's realistic and the outcome for your MS had to be better than your usual inconsistent habits. On the other hand I tell myself that's ok for everyone else, you face a potentially debilitating disease, you just have to make sacrifices and eat clean 100%. It's this constant conflict that makes me have a blow out an slip into the vowing to go strict "tomorrow" trap. I wish I could just a press a button and not enjoy fatty, sugary and salty foods! Food isn't like cigarettes, you can't just give it up!
I'm trying to educate myself about food addiction, just started reading The Hunger Fix by Dr Peeke. It's about altering our built in reward system, and going for healthy dopamine buzzes and breaking our addiction to 'false fixes'. I haven't read that far in to know if she recommends eating treats in moderation yet. I've been through periods of eating low saturated fat (about 10g) but I know it's not relly clean and I always eat way too much sugar (cereal bars, chocolate soya desserts etc).
So this is my question for the board (finally huh?!). Do you think I should be aiming for eating as clean as possible, allowing myself the odd treat? This may be the best given my pyschological reaction to denial. Or should I have more words with myself, push myself to become a totally clean eating health freak? I definitely need to learn to cook more meals from scratch, that's been a problem as so much of the supermarket food has the wrong oils in it. I come back to feeling I need to be uber strict for real peace of mind in coping with having MS, especially as I've chosen to have no treatment. I just wish I could be consistent.
If you've read through to the end, thanks so much for that! Sorry for the length! Any advice appreciated.
Ok I'll try my best to condense my life story!...Always a bit chubby as a teen. Weighed 10 st 7 aged 18 (147 pounds to you Americans). Believed I was HIDEOUSLY fat as you do (would LOVE to be that now!). Really just needed to lose a few pounds and tone up. Got into a terrible cycle over the years of yo yo dieting, I'm sure many of you have been there. It was all or nothing - salads, very low cal and lots of exercise or junk food splurges because my diets were so unbearable. I'm in my early 30s now and I must have lost the same two or three stone about five times over (so bad for you). I reached my heaviest this year - 15 stone 7 (217 pounds) and decided enough was enough. I've been a serial quitter with smoking over the years too, from a few days to a few months here and there. Of course using quitting as an excuse to pig out. Putting on a few pounds with each quit x 10 = a lot of weight gain over the years!
I did know where I was going wrong. I came to the conclusion that deprivation doesn't work. That it's all about moderation. I have a skinny colleague who I watch eating fruit and a chocolate bar in one break time. That's what slim people do! But... My situation is a little different...I began having some neurological problems aged 26 (blurred and double vision, vertigo) and was not given a definite diagnosis then but told I possibly had multiple sclerosis. I did lots of reading about how you can help yourself but really, I wasn't at all strict about my lifestyle; I guess I was in denial. I got drunk a lot and pretended this wasn't happening to me! I had a second episode 3 years later aged 29, bringing my firm diagnosis. I was told I had a good prognosis and they didn't especially recommend I started drug treatment (some people can have MS mild and the drugs can be worse in side effects than the disease. On the other hand it generally does progress over time, over decades for some, and the drugs slow it down to some extent, it's a tough call to make really). And I hate to admit it but instead of throwing myself straight into a healthy regime I guess I struggled because I was on a bit if a downer. I hadn't started a family yet. Had a bit of a 'why me' pity party. Half heartedly tried to quit smoking and go on a healthy diet but returned to my unhealthy ways.
Im 32 now and over the summer I had words with myself. I've got to be consistent and know I'm doing all I can to help myself! Forget the self pity, where's that going to get me? Smoking is linked to the progression of MS. I quit smoking in July and I feel confident I've got that nailed after 4 months. I went cold turkey and used a quit smoking forum which helped enormously. I allowed myself a couple of months of not worrying about my weight but was determined to not allow myself to use it as an excuse to pig out so I joined a 12 week bootcamp, 3x a week in my local park. I didn't lose any weight but didn't pile anymore on either. Then 2 months ago I joined MFP and set myself the goal of losing 83 pounds AND creating healthy eating habits for life.
I started off great - lost 14 pounds in my first month woo! But I've stalled over the last month, grr! I feel deflated because I still have been exercising (loving Jillian Michaels DVDs), but lately, quite like when I was doing bootcamp, I'm just still eating too much. I've had some big blow outs with junk food or I've tried to eat healthy but gone over by a few hundred cals. I've mainly logged nearly every day though even the blow outs! At least I've maintained.
This is the diet I've done my research on and believe is the best for people with MS (or the basic principles for any inflammatory disease). It's based on the Swank diet (Dr Jelinek's take on it). It's a plant-based diet, with fish, that's low in saturated fat (under 15g, ideally under 10g) and high in polyunsaturated fat In order to reduce inflammation (the problem in MS). It's dairy and meat free (was a veggie anyway) and should exclude certain oils that are either unstable or contain too much omega 6 (trans fats, vegetable oil, palm oil, coconut oil, sunflower oil etc). Lots of flaxseed and olive oil and just unprocessed, clean food. Dr Jelinkek says it's really important to be strict. I can't go into all the detail here but let's just say im convinced it needs it be strict. Research shows people who eat under 10 g of saturated fat a day do better than those who eat 15g. Dr Jelinek says it may seem extreme, but compared to being in a wheelchair or being unable to swallow, it's not as hard!
I do believe that where I went wrong in the past is not to embrace healthy eating with treats in moderation. If it wasn't for my MS, I'd whole heartedly embrace that and aim to eat healthy 90% of the time, with a 'cheat meal' maybe once a week. Or fitting in a small choccie bar into my daily cals (eating the chocolate and the fruit in one sitting like my friend!). BUT, it is so different for me now. I lost this 14 pounds by eating healthy most of the time and not throwing it all away if I fancied a treat. But I became aware and felt stressed out that I wasn't following my MS diet to the letter 100%. I flip between telling myself, look, you have had yo yoing problems all your adult life, if you can change your eating habits to be healthy 90%, that's realistic and the outcome for your MS had to be better than your usual inconsistent habits. On the other hand I tell myself that's ok for everyone else, you face a potentially debilitating disease, you just have to make sacrifices and eat clean 100%. It's this constant conflict that makes me have a blow out an slip into the vowing to go strict "tomorrow" trap. I wish I could just a press a button and not enjoy fatty, sugary and salty foods! Food isn't like cigarettes, you can't just give it up!
I'm trying to educate myself about food addiction, just started reading The Hunger Fix by Dr Peeke. It's about altering our built in reward system, and going for healthy dopamine buzzes and breaking our addiction to 'false fixes'. I haven't read that far in to know if she recommends eating treats in moderation yet. I've been through periods of eating low saturated fat (about 10g) but I know it's not relly clean and I always eat way too much sugar (cereal bars, chocolate soya desserts etc).
So this is my question for the board (finally huh?!). Do you think I should be aiming for eating as clean as possible, allowing myself the odd treat? This may be the best given my pyschological reaction to denial. Or should I have more words with myself, push myself to become a totally clean eating health freak? I definitely need to learn to cook more meals from scratch, that's been a problem as so much of the supermarket food has the wrong oils in it. I come back to feeling I need to be uber strict for real peace of mind in coping with having MS, especially as I've chosen to have no treatment. I just wish I could be consistent.
If you've read through to the end, thanks so much for that! Sorry for the length! Any advice appreciated.
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Replies
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If I was too strict all of the time I'd give up so I think a little of what you like now and then is a good idea.0
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I am a believer in all things in moderation, that anything in excess is bad for you. One thing that's been useful for me is really exploring and understanding how I feel overall in relationship to diet, health & fitness. What tastes good in the moment (for me things like Mac & Cheese, deep fried ANYTHING, or processed stuff) doesn't FEEL good later, I feel tired, bloated and just yuck. But eating good whole foods, lots of vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, good fats I feel better. The endorphins I get from working out are a fundamental component in my overall well being, and if I'm not eating enough I don't have the energy to sustain my work-outs. Wellness is an empowered, engaged, multifactorial state of being and we each find our own way in our own time. Being committed to wellness is clearly a priority for you and as you continue to learn and grow you'll recognize what works for you and what doesn't. Best of luck to you, be kind and nurturing toward your body!0
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I have done it through the moderation and excercise method. Your best bet is to work slowly at it. Set small 5 to 10 lb. goals that are much more attainable and mentally you will feel much better that you have actually achieved goals you've set. Many people set goals so far out it is extremely hard to reach them without having some breakdown in between and there in lies the desire to give.
Look me up on beachbody as SWREZn8. I'll help if I can. It's also good to be part of a group to make you accoutable and have others who may have experienced similar issues. We all struggle at times and need someone to lean on for modivation to keep going.0 -
Edited for insensitivity0
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Thanks for all the advice guys - I had a feeling the general gist would be to try to be as strict as possible but do t beat myself up over the odd treat.
Dino - I'm sorry if my struggling over how to overcome MS bores you. I know my post was long but it was a complicated one. You must be a very rude and insensitive person!
Edited - dino apologised which was nice! I take the above back!0 -
As someone who can also write long posts, I think you would do well to ignore the criticisms about post length. Or at least not take them personally. Some of us use writing to work stuff out. That's neither good or bad, just a method of processing. Some don't have the patience for that. Long posts often elicit "TL;DR" comments, or GIFs like the one posted. It is an Internet forum, after all. And we have short attention spans. I do understand the need to create context and provide details. My friends here like to tease me that I use "all the words." Had someone posted that gif on one my long-winded posts, I would have laughed. It is a funny image.
I'm sorry you are struggling. I think the forum and your friends list might be a good place to work through some of the mental and emotional stuff you bring up. But for your situation, diet advice might be best through a professional. While there are some really smart people here, none of them are your doctor. It's also very easy to seek answers you want to hear, simply to confirm what you want to do anyway.
Congrats on quitting smoking. I know how hard that is. I'm not sure smoking and eating are all that different - at least not compulsive eating. There is a physical need for food, but the mental games can be profound. As you're aware, the physical addiction to nicotine leaves pretty quickly (actually peaks around 24 hours after quitting), but the mental games and behavior patterns stick around like patient soldiers, waiting for a moment of weakness or distraction. That you've quit smoking multiple times suggests you may be susceptible to this. And I think it's similar to yo-yo dieting and compulsive eating. So you might be aware of how you slip into old behaviors.
Good luck. Be honest. Be consistent. Be patient.0 -
Thanks Kenneth. Good advice. Yes I suppose there are similarities between smoking and food addiction. Yup lots of mental games. Just want to get to the place where I'm eating for nutrition and not taste, a quick dopamine high or emotional eating.
Yup you're right can't be too sensitive on the net! He was quite sweet in the end and sent me a message saying he hadn't read my post before he posted. Perhaps I could have said the above in half the time!0 -
First of all, congratulations on your choice to stop smoking and be determined this time story start making improvements in the rest of your life. I know that having MS will affect the choices that you want to make but I still believe that 90% healthy eating habits and succeeding is better than being strict and not able to do it long term. See how you feel and guage it from there ...Good luck0
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Thanks Jennifer. Yup I guess 90% is better than 0%. Perhaps I could shoot for 95%. Someone mentioned speaking to a doctor about my diet. My neuro says 'don't do anything extreme' and didn't have any knowledge or understanding of the leading research on MS and diet. Similarly, I was referred to a nutritionist and she had no clue about it either. She was googling the stuff I was talking to as we spoke. I realised you as the patient has to become the expert!0
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Seems like you are going for long term changes. That can't happen overnight Sugar. I understand your desire to be eating 100% the best because or your MS but, face facts, it's not working to aim that high.....you get binges and set backs....that is not to your benefit at all. Why not begin with a lower percentage and as you learn more about the food plan you need, and learn to cook at home, you will want to creep closer to that perfect goal. Meanwhile don't you think it's better to have a small and planned for "bad" food every day, rather than 5 perfect days followed by 1 or 2 0% days?
Building good habits takes time. Your quitting smoking is evidence for that. And congrats on that....a major achievement.0 -
Thanks anifani I think I need to hear from people it's ok to not be a 100% perfect eater. That pressure is making me fall off the wagon, which is the worst scenario! I will try again to eat as clean as possible, maybe not plan any cheat meals but accept it if I eat something 'naughty' and don't berate myself and move on!0
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Moderation is key, you need to get out of the mindset that certain foods are 'bad' and into the mindset that you can eat anything you want with controlled portions. I have lots of treats but just keep them to 100-200 calories and within my goals. Some days I don't feel like I've been eating healthy at all because I've had chocolate for morning and afternoon tea (4 squares of dark choc with almonds x 2). I have to remind myself that I have been eating healthy because I've had salads, protein and veggies. Realise that you are not on a diet. If I want to have something really high calorie or if I want to drink alcohol I exercise earlier in the day for it. Sat is my long run day which means I can drink a few wines if I want to because I've burned 800 calories plus. 100% will never work because at some point you'll stuff up and beat yourself up about it, usually whe I go 100% I stuff up in a BIG way (large binge or several days to a week)0
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Hi gmallan, I think that's sound advice for someone without a medical condition, but for me it is different. I can't eat anything I like and there are 'bad' foods for someone with MS...like someone with diabetes and sugar... hence why I've struggled to not have this feeling of being deprived. But yes any lifestyle change should be permanent and not be seen as a diet I agree.0
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