having a hard time mentally

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ractayjon
ractayjon Posts: 365
in Motivation and Support
Im having a hard time mentally accepting all that has been going on the past few months. I have dropped weight, I have lost inches and some people (in the know) are telling me that I dont need to lose more instead I should focus on strength training and toning. But I cant.
I cant get my mind around it.
I dont think I look good. I dont feel the right weight. I look at myself and although I dont see what I saw when I started I do see fat. My husband wants me to focus on how I feel rather then how I look - I cant seperate the two. How I feel is determined by how I look (in my mind).
How can I get past this? It is starting to worry me. Im so consumed with the scale, the measurements, the way the clothes fit that Im not really enjoying the weight loss and the new place I am in the journey.
Plus.....I have come to a plateau in my weight loss (inevitable, Im in that phase) and it is dragging me to think about it all more....
Thanks for listening.

Replies

  • MTGirl
    MTGirl Posts: 1,490 Member
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    So you're 4 lbs away from your goal?? Have you read Bank's Expectations post? I'll grab the link. Maybe that will give you some ideas. BRB.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/9433-expectations

    That's the one. You would be at the "End Game" phase as he lays it out. Maybe see if that doesn't help you a little. I know, it's hard to "see" our weight loss sometimes. But you have to begin to disconnect from the process of losing and connect with the process of maintaining and toning. You can do it!
  • kgasser
    kgasser Posts: 333 Member
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    Perhaps you should think about seeing a counselor? No, this does not mean you are crazy, but it gives you an unbiased person to throw ideas off of. If you are thinking about weight, and more significantly, thinking unhappy thoughts around your weight, it may be time to seek out a professional before it becomes a serious obsession.

    Just my 2cents worth.
  • mamacassi
    mamacassi Posts: 131
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    I think you should balance the crazy voice in you who says "You will never look good or feel good " (at least mine does) and the friends and family who say you always have and do. I think you should keep on cardio. 45 is what they say helps you most, a day. walking is so good for you! Never give it up. But also doing strength training for even 20 minutes or 10, crunches...or my favorite squats! my bum is so shapened now! I do it every other day or so, just because im a sissy. anyway, you ARE great how you are, sometimes if you still feel like youre lacking energy it could be that you need vitamins. I took b12 a month ago and it changed my life, also I take iron becuase of my anemia. Womens daily is fantastic for you, and they arent just hippie nonsense like some say, you need them. Other than that, don't be hard on yourself.
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
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    Many people have been in that situation. For some (like me) it just took some time to adjust and I had to focus myself on other goals (I chose to train for and then run a half marathon). For others it is a deeper issue and some counselling or a support group may help.

    My suggestion is to list the reasons why you decided to change your lifestyle in the first place and rank them?
    Does hitting a certain number on the scale even make it on your list? Most likely it is because you want to be healthy for yourself and your family and you want to feel good about yourself.
    And if the scale is on your list where does it rank? Ask yourself why it is on your list and if it really is that important to you especially if it comes at such a high cost.

    I know how hard it can be to change the way you think, especially when it is about yourself. We are our own worst critics. Why is that I wonder?
  • DTFaaron
    DTFaaron Posts: 43
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    I don't know how to give you advise you on this but I feel the same way. I have lost 25 lbs but haven't lost more in more than a month. Stuck on 25. so I feel you're pain. maybe you're just being too hard on yourself? Take a step back and try to get your mind off of weight loss a little bit.
  • Ang8178
    Ang8178 Posts: 308
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    You've done such a great job!!! I struggle with this on a daily basis!!! Talking to someone may help, but if you're anything like me that's just not going to get done :laugh: Anyway, one thing I'm telling myself through out the day is, "I'm not fat, I'm not over weight and I haven't been in over 2 years." I have to remind myself of this ALOT! I hope you find what works for you and can get past the "mind games" weight loss can have on you. :flowerforyou:
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
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    Just relax, be cool. You're doing fine. We can change our bodies more quickly than our mental pictures of ourselves sometimes.

    Inner you should get used to outer you before long, or at least close. Some stuff lasts longer - I'm still shocked/surprised/amazed at the trim guy in the mirror sometimes, but that's not bad and all in all it's Ok.

    If you're really struggling or hurting maybe a little time with a counselor isn't a bad idea. There's a name for what you're dealing with, and a strategy to help you cope, and a good counselor is worth her weight in gold.

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