Mike’s Daily bREAD 11/13/2012 Topic: Low Fat, No Thank You

Being on this website confirms that we all know or are making an effort to know about sacrifice. We are sacrificing the things that gave us short term satisfaction to gain a long term satisfaction. For some of us, that means the unhealthy snacks, enjoying countless hours of physical inactivity all to be replaced by a mobile active healthier future.

Since we are giving up something that means that we are taking in something else. We all have a friend or two that likes to try new things and convince you that it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. Yesterday I went into BJ’s Wholesale club to buy razors, paper towels and TP. I go immediately after working out so I know that my body fragrance is more than likely not the best and even if I don’t stink, my workout gear is not how I like to present myself in public. I’m walking around the store on a mission to get in and out as quick as possible taking into consideration that I just left the gym. All of a sudden, a lovely aromatic orgasm occurs in my nose. I’m in love. I don’t know what’s cooking but I know that I must have it.

So now I am distracted and my mission has now been placed on hold because a new mission has just developed. I am walking slowly peeping around every corner looking for the sample station that created this aromatic orgasm in my nose. As I peep around one corner the sample station on that corner is a sweet old lady attempting to hand out samples of shampoo. She stops me and tells me that she has Garnier Fructis shampoo and conditioner which will create a beautiful gloss and shine in my hair and leaves it feeling effortlessly beautiful. I take off my hat to show her that I’m bald and that it won’t grow back on the top of my head. I let her know that it stopped growing when I was 24 and it felt like God took a piece of me when he took my hair. She makes a sad face and says “well maybe if you would have taken care of your hair better you would still have it now wouldn’t you?” I feel confused and I am positive it showed on my face. I just reply, “Yes ma’am.” Now I snap back into being focused on finding the sample of food that I smell. I take the samples of shampoo and conditioner and I thank her and as I am walking away I tell her that hair didn’t stop growing everywhere. I have a place that could use a good shampoo. She then looks confused and I walk away quickly as possible with a giggle so that I don’t have to explain what I meant.

The next corner that I peep around is a middle aged woman that has ice cream. I am thinking to myself Why today? I am trying to eat healthy! I have fresh eggplant in the car that I am getting ready to make tonight in my eggplant parmigiana. I think to myself that I’m going to spoil my dinner if I keep finding samples. So she calls me over to her station and says “well sir, here we have Breyers churn style vanilla bean ice cream.” She hands me the sample cup and a sample spoon. I dive in to the frozen treat. As I taste it, I make a facial expression that obviously proved unsatisfactory. I almost spit it out but couldn’t because I was in public around strangers. She asks, “What’s wrong? You didn’t like it?” I tell her that “I have had Breyers before and although it’s been a long time since I have had it, it never tasted that bad.” She looks disappointed and then tells me that its Low Fat, Low Calories, No Sugar and Gluten free Ice Cream. I Shake my head and ask her why didn’t she tell me more about the product before I sampled it? She goes on to tell me that she noticed that I was dressed out in gym apparel and felt as if she would allow me to discover the difference if there was any. She wanted to be able to tell me those things after I said that it was delicious and that it would fit into my healthy lifestyle. I told her that it didn’t taste like ice cream and that the difference is night and day. It reminded me more of Greek Yogurt mixed with cottage cheese and frozen yogurt texture. So she asks me if I would recommend it to a friend? I tell I most certainly would not if they are truly my friend. We both laugh and I refocus on the food that I keep getting distracted by.

I can tell that I am getting closer because the aroma is getting stronger and my nose is getting happier. So as I turn the corner the storm clouds dissipate, the pearly gates open up and the choir of angles began to sustain that beautiful note letting me know that I have arrived to heaven. The sample is bacon. Thick hickory smoked twice cured bacon. I know that journey was long and that many obstacles were placed between me and the bacon but I arrived. I get up to the sample station with a humble smile on my face and in my heart. I ask the lady at the station, “May I sample the bacon please?” She says, “Im so sorry sir we just ran out 5 minutes ago.” I think back to the time that I arrived at BJ’s Wholesale club and realize that I arrived 10 minutes ago and that those obstacles kept us apart. Depression sets in instantly so I buy 2 packs of the bacon on display with pride. I am going to make turkey chili this week but Saturday and Sunday morning I will be making Bacon dishes. I will be making Bacon and cheese omelet Saturday morning. Sunday I will make a Bacon casserole with eggs, hash browns , onions and green peppers

As I am walking out of the club I can’t help but feel misled about the Ice Cream. I know some people like the whole low calorie, low fat, no sugar items, but not this guy. If it is not the real deal, I won’t eat it. The only item that I don’t do the 100% is milk. I do 2% which really should be described as 98% because that’s what it really is. I only do 2% because Whole milk looks like lotion to me which is not a good visual for me so I avoid eating it so that I don’t have to think about it. This Ice cream ordeal really helped me realize that it is pointless. People buy these items and still abuse them. They buy it, hate the taste and never eat it but refuse to toss it because it would be a shame to waste. Or they like the taste and eat more than their fair share because they are fooled into thinking that they can eat more of it because it’s better for you. If you eat more of it, you might as well eat the real thing but in moderation. That is the whole name of the game, moderation. You have to be careful though because our minds do play tricks on us sometimes. Years ago, I made a sandwich at a friend’s house and realized that my only option for cheese was ½ fat cheese. I told myself well I hope I like this cheese. I tasted it and it was fine so I said well since this cheese is half the fat, I’ll eat 2 slices. The mistake that I made, had I cared about eating right back then, was that the fat was cut in half but the calories were the same so I just doubled my calories but made half the fat equal the amount of fat that I would have eaten in a regular slice of cheese. So basically, I eat the real thing with food just in moderation so if you offer me the low fat option I will say No thank you.