Why do you care if people have open food diaries ?

belben22
belben22 Posts: 17
in Motivation and Support
I personally am here for myself, if I make some weight loss buddies then that's great but ultimately I am continuing to track my food and exercise to ensure my own progress...In doing this I chose to and continue to keep my food diary closed because as I said I'm doing this for me...

I've noticed a few different posts that stipulate that they only want contact from people "who have open food diaries". I'm just wondering why that is...Does it make you feel better to see other people having slip ups, do you get meal ideas, does it make you feel better when you have a bad day to justify it against someone else's also not so perfect day ?

I don't get it, I think that we should all be eating for ourselves and not to impress others anyway as if you learn to only be accountable for yourself then you can lose weight and maintain no matter where you are or who knows you...

Just my thoughts and hopefully some others can drop by and tell me do you keep your food diary open, do you look at others food diaries and why ? Would you only befriend someone who chooses to allow you to look at their choices on your whim ?

And...Do you think people who have their diaries closed do it to be sneaky or do you accept that it's a personal choice and nothing to do with yours ?

I know the above may come across a bit blunt but I genuinely just want to know why it's such a big issue when I personally don't care or judge people either way.

Cheers, Bel
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Replies

  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    It's a personal choice, but an open diary has lots of advantages.

    1. If you ask for advice on your progress, it's much easier to give some meaningful comments when you can see what the person is eating.

    2. It keeps you accountable when you know others can see it.

    3. It gives others good ideas and suggestions - you wouldn't believe how many new people join and ask "What can I eat for 1200 calories? Has anyone got a meal plan?"

    4. People can make helpful suggestions for how to improve it.
  • cyndymar
    cyndymar Posts: 73
    Personally I don't check food logs and I don't care if friends see mine . Just my opinion = )
  • karen4ever
    karen4ever Posts: 46 Member
    Only reason I like to see my friends diarys is to see that there not starving themselves. I have just asked one of my friends if I can see their diary simply because everyday the do a great workout and everyday are under their calorie goal, which I think is great.

    But how do I know if my friend is 5 cals under or 500 cals under.

    I want to be supportive, I don't mind what they are eating but I don't want to keep saying "yay well done" if they are starving themselves everyday.
  • lbmore33
    lbmore33 Posts: 1,013 Member
    omg i was thinking the exact same thing......so what
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
    I don't care if someone has theirs open or closed.

    If it's open, I might take a peek to get meal/snack ideas, but that's it. I don't judge them if I see fast food or something I wouldn't eat.
  • elka67
    elka67 Posts: 268 Member
    It gives me ideas on what I could do differently and how I could vary my diet. Have had great inspiration from others diaries but I wouldn't insist my friends had to have theirs open.

    And yes like someone has said above, I tend not to say well done if they are under cals but I can't see their diary - as I don't whether they are starving themselves or not, I wouldn't want to be encouraging extremely low calorie intake.
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    A big part of friendship for me is being open, supportive and sharing so yes, I prefer friends with open diaries. If someone isn't comfortable enough to share that's OK as long as they're interactive in other ways.
  • NVM87
    NVM87 Posts: 57 Member
    Because some people who may be starting out (such as myself) need ideas and inspiration on what types of meals are healthy. There are many members who have maintained this way of living for a long time therefore it's good to be educated from others based on what thy eat. Also, it brings a more personal feel to the app and the community within the app.

    I understand it is personal for you (as it is for every single person on here regardless whether they have open food diaries or not) but I'm sure there are many of us on here who still benefit from added encouragement and motivation by seeing foods other pple eat. I don't think I would be as strict on myself with my diet if my friends didn't allow me to see their diaries. Does that make this journey any less personal for me as it does for you?

    There is no need to take it personally, frankly it doesn't matter whether others have their diary open or not...whatever works for you that's the main thing.
  • whyldebear
    whyldebear Posts: 28 Member
    im unsure if my diary is open or closed, but after reading peoples replies i can see the upside to having an open one as i think i would find it very usefull for someone to perhaps point me in a better direction than what i perhaps am goin in, so if any one would like to be my friend and help me out im open to all :)
    x
  • amnsetie
    amnsetie Posts: 666 Member
    It's a personal choice, but an open diary has lots of advantages.

    1. If you ask for advice on your progress, it's much easier to give some meaningful comments when you can see what the person is eating.

    3. It gives others good ideas and suggestions - you wouldn't believe how many new people join and ask "What can I eat for
    1600
    calories? Has anyone got a meal plan?"

    4. People can make helpful suggestions for how to improve it.

    I also like to encourage my friends to eat fresh healthy food.
    When they say they have had a bad day I can help them see one big calorie item did not spoil their plans.
    and
    It gives me ideas on what I could do differently and how I could vary my diet.

    And yes like someone has said above, I tend not to say well done if they are under cals but I can't see their diary - as I don't whether they are starving themselves or not, I wouldn't want to be encouraging extremely low calorie intake.

    I really don't see why a stranger would want to follow me on this site without sharing diaries.

    One does, but I really don't know why.

    (open to friends is ok, no need to show everyone)
  • NVM87
    NVM87 Posts: 57 Member
    Agreed!!!
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    Personally I don't check food logs and I don't care if friends see mine . Just my opinion = )

    me too. I keep my diary open because if being able to view my diary helps them in some way, more power to them. seeing their meals doesn't do much for me so I never really look.

    that being said, my fave instructor at the Y (almost like a personal trainer to me) told me yesterday to send her the link so she can find me on here because she wants to check my food diary. Yikes, I think i'm about to be in deep trouble! *GULP*
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    to me, the people i have on here as friends are my support network, and i support them.

    i dont have a huge friends list, and i have a rough idea of what each person on my list is doing - maintaining, bulking, losing. i only accept people with open diaries, as how can i support someone when i dont know what/how they eat and what exercise they do? how can you say 'well done' when you dont know what they have done?? also, i ask plenty of questions about what i do, and my diary is open as otherwise, how can i expect an educated answer?

    plus diaries are great for getting meal ideas!
  • ashumeow
    ashumeow Posts: 151 Member
    I used to keep my diary open during september till october 2nd week... I used to eat well and sometimes, i cannot eat more. Since i am a vegetarian, i cannot uplift my calories. But some people never understand it, they give discouragements or impolite words and most of the time, i got verbal abused through personal messages and got racial abused 3 times...Some of them spoke friendly and un-friended me saying i eat less which is a silly reason because during my sad days, i eat about 1000 calories... I was tremendously upset and one of my MFP friend advised me to keep my diary private. There are some people who encouraged me eventhough my diary was private. Now, i am able to consume about 1400 net calories per day. =)
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    I've been quite happy to keep logging here (and on other sites I've used) a private thing. Mainly because I worried having open logs might tempt me to fudge the numbers a bit, for the pressure, and honesty's worked through my weight loss and maintenance.

    But since I've started lifting heavier (or maybe, since the weather's changed?), my cals have gone up by a lot, and it's kind of bugging me. Maybe it's not a bad idea to open mine to criticism, and look to others for inspiration, until I get the hang of this, at least.

    Opening, then (for a while)!
  • belben22
    belben22 Posts: 17
    Interesting responses and thank you all for taking the time. Perhaps that's the difference, is that the majority of people I am friends with on here I know outside of here also and so there is no need to divulge my daily eating habits.

    I agree not to take it personally, I am just curious why other people care so much and why there is so much negativity surrounding closed diaries. I am only new to this site (one week) and lost the bulk of my weight through another site where the food diaries were just naturally closed to being our own business.

    Perhaps if I had started with a site like MFP initially I would feel differently about it. Otherwise in seeing myself lose 40kilos and my friends lose small through to large amounts of weight it was never an option or a desire to consistently have access to their food intakes and it never had an impact in my feelings of making 'online pals' with them.
  • NVM87
    NVM87 Posts: 57 Member
    how can i support someone when i dont know what/how they eat and what exercise they do? how can you say 'well done' when you dont know what they have done?? also, i ask plenty of questions about what i do, and my diary is open as otherwise, how can i expect an educated answer?

    Agreed!!
  • spozzybear
    spozzybear Posts: 216 Member
    It's a personal choice, but an open diary has lots of advantages.

    1. If you ask for advice on your progress, it's much easier to give some meaningful comments when you can see what the person is eating.

    2. It keeps you accountable when you know others can see it.

    3. It gives others good ideas and suggestions - you wouldn't believe how many new people join and ask "What can I eat for 1200 calories? Has anyone got a meal plan?"

    4. People can make helpful suggestions for how to improve it.

    ^^^ this
  • NVM87
    NVM87 Posts: 57 Member
    I am just curious why other people care so much and why there is so much negativity surrounding closed diaries.
  • NVM87
    NVM87 Posts: 57 Member
    I have not come across any negativity about open diaries until I saw this topic posted
  • NVM87
    NVM87 Posts: 57 Member
    Open diaries AND closed diaries
  • belben22
    belben22 Posts: 17
    I have not come across any negativity about open diaries until I saw this topic posted

    It is definitely there and one of the first things I came across on this site and has popped up half a dozen times in the week I have been here which is why my curiosity peaked on the topic.
  • Shadowknight137
    Shadowknight137 Posts: 1,243 Member
    Maybe they're just curious. Maybe they want ideas. Maybe they want to judge you. Maybe they have ridiculously low cal counts and *kitten* to the amount you get to eat.

    Who knows? People are weird.
  • rfsatar
    rfsatar Posts: 599 Member
    I have mine open for friends - but I am of a mind with the OP - I log for me, but I love getting ideas from other friends' diaries.
    Some of us have a bit of a recipe-swapping and comparing thing going on.
  • LadyConundra
    LadyConundra Posts: 37 Member
    It's a personal choice, but an open diary has lots of advantages.

    1. If you ask for advice on your progress, it's much easier to give some meaningful comments when you can see what the person is eating.

    2. It keeps you accountable when you know others can see it.

    3. It gives others good ideas and suggestions - you wouldn't believe how many new people join and ask "What can I eat for 1200 calories? Has anyone got a meal plan?"

    4. People can make helpful suggestions for how to improve it.

    I agree with this. You are accountable to only yourself when it comes right down to it, because no one is forcing you to pick up that good or bad food choice. But I love the other food ideas I get from other ppl diaries. But if they don't want to have a open diary up that is their choice, no judgement here. Really of all my friends, I really only look at 2 diaries and they are close friends who have asked me to hold them accountable and look at their diaries.
  • KamalBhai
    KamalBhai Posts: 79 Member
    Although it is a matter of choice whether to keep food diary open or personal, but I used to keep my Food Diary open for all. Open food diaries could be good motivators for many who just started their diet plans / workouts. There is no harm if we keep our food diary open in my opinion.
  • Lisa760
    Lisa760 Posts: 113 Member
    Sometimes when I read a post in the forums from someone and they've lost a lot of weight I get curious about how they did it, both through exercise and diet. I'll peek at their diary. If it's open then I assume they're cool with me looking. If it's closed, no biggie. I keep mine open because it's just not that deep for me. I've never asked for feedback on my diary and no one has ever offered up unsolicited suggestions/comments/advice.
  • rvicini
    rvicini Posts: 252 Member
    An open dairy allows me to learn how to eat better learning from others, and if I can, trying to help others to stop the hassle and make their lives better by eating right.
    People outside MFP make fun of diaries you know? At least of mine. I enjoy doing it and it's helping me understand what is I am eating and not starving.
    I hate to starve!
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    WELL i am with you!!! MINE IS CLOSED!,, i have seen so many nasty people picking apart diaries,, i do it for me,,, but i have many wonderful friends,,, i am not judged by them for having a closed diary,,,, now that is true friendship,,,,,,,anyone want to add me, then do it!
  • liltenji
    liltenji Posts: 69 Member
    I kept mine open for a couple of reasons. I've struggled with eating in the past and i'm nervous about eating in public. After some people asking me to open my diary i decided to because i want to try and get over that fear and teach myself that it's ok to be honest about what you eat, everyone eats, i am not a freak!

    the other reason is that i am honest about what i log and seeing as though i am in the early stages of my weightloss i don't want to start falling off the bandwagon straight away! So knowing that i have friends who do check my diary once i've logged all the calories stops me from wanting to go grab a massive cheese sandwich at 1am!

    I like seeing other diaries because sometimes you can get some ideas for food, but for me its again teaching me about normal eating habits. Seeing people losing weight whilst still eating crisps is totally unreal to me [i had my first bag of crisps in ages yesterday! AND still kept under my calorie limit!]

    Seeing someone on 1200 calories a day eating things like crisps and bread is incredibly motivating for me. As i have spent the past 10 years going from high and low calorie intakes, To me 'losing weight' has always meant a blanket ban on everything i enjoy (plus all fat and carbs and sugar) coupled with lots of exercise. Sometimes as low as 500 calories a day.

    Seeing people be happy and healthy whilst losing weight is something i am trying to let into my own life x

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