New to MFP, depressed about my weight :(

mezasu
mezasu Posts: 42
in Introduce Yourself
This morning I weighed myself on a scale that's actually accurate for the first time in a very long time (my roommate's scale is one of those crappy old-fashioned ones with a dial) and found out I weigh over 10 pounds more than I thought I did, putting me at my heaviest weight ever. :cry:

My first instinct was just to sit and cry about it (and maybe stuff my face with junk food in the process) (which I'll admit I did do for about five minutes), but then I thought, "Why not turn this whole thing around starting now?" So, I stopped eating, took a few deep breaths, and joined this site. :wink:

I was wondering if anyone on here has had a moment similar to this that just made you feel horrible about yourself? And if so, how did you snap out of it? I guess I'm still in shock over the number on the scale (which I know I shouldn't let dictate how I feel about myself, but it's so frustrating to find out I'm 12 pounds farther away from my goal weight than I had been led to believe for the past few months) and I was hoping I could find some people who have been in a similar situation to give me some words of wisdom that could help motivate me to start my new, healthy lifestyle.

A little background info: I have been overweight for my entire adult life (except for my freshman year of college when I actually got down to a healthy weight thanks to Weight Watchers, but I gained it back in the following years due to my stress level going way up and a bunch of other factors). I have tried just about every diet in the world with little success, and now I'm thinking I want to stay away from the diet mentality and just eat healthy food and get plenty of exercise for the sake of being healthy - not because I have to. So... that's the plan. But I may need a little encouragement to get started. :ohwell:
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Replies

  • Briloves1d
    Briloves1d Posts: 8
    hello there im new as well i can be a weighloss buddy and help with encouraging !
    Don't worry i know your strong enough to do it ! and when you do you'll be so proud off yourself!:smile:
  • ZozoMonster
    ZozoMonster Posts: 270 Member
    Hi! Welcome to MFP :) I went through a lot of 'diet phases' which never really worked... I piled on the pounds through puberty and have never really been happy with my weight since I was about 15. I always told myself I'll do this exercise, I'll not eat this food, and even went through a 'cuppa soup and cereal bar for lunch' phase where its all I ate every day for about a month. I didn't even lose a pound by doing that and it made me mega depressed. I thought what's the point? If I can't lose weight by eating next-to-nothing I might as well give up and eat what I want, when I want. But joining MFP has helped me unbelievably. I can track my food which is the most helpful part so I know how much I've eaten, so I know if I can have something else as a snack or I have to stop and have a glass of water instead, it's genius! I really hope this site helps you and if you need any support and motivation there are lots of people on here in the same or similar situation as you :) If you like you can add me as a friend and I'll support you all the way :) x
  • fanarad
    fanarad Posts: 97 Member
    I came to the same realization last week when I stepped on the scale at the gym after my workout - and found out that I was 11.6 pounds heavier than I thought I was and ya - that much further away from my target. It sucks! I'm at the heaviest I've been I think ever and I'm still haven't gotten over that (but am slowly turning it into motivation!) Add me? I'd love to talk with you or anyone else in a similar situation!
  • lorelai66
    lorelai66 Posts: 6 Member
    Hi, I did the same thing last Sunday. I gained over 12 pounds since I came home from camping for the summer. All I have wanted to do it cook and then eat it. I got on the scale and found that I weighted 223.4 which is the highest I have ever been. The number really does not matter. If we are more than we have ever been then its time to start over. Well that's what I told myself. This has been a good week since I joined the program. Always someone at hand to chat with or share with. Lets face it we may never be thin but we can endeavor to be healthy. I am 68 years old and have been heavy since I was 48. Thats 20 years too long...Good luck. Lolly T
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    hello there im new as well i can be a weighloss buddy and help with encouraging !
    Don't worry i know your strong enough to do it ! and when you do you'll be so proud off yourself!:smile:

    Thank you so much! I'll send you a friend request :flowerforyou:
  • ericag429
    ericag429 Posts: 6
    Like you, I have tried almost every diet out there! I've been a heavy girl all my life but it didn't really escalate into a big problem until I started college. I understand your frustration. The scale is often times my worst enemy. I am new to this site as well and am just starting my journey to a healthier me. My advice to you is don't depend solely on the scale for happiness. When you begin eating healthier and exercising, think about how you feel. Let this be your motivation to keep going, because the scale can tear you down. I know it has me. We can do this! Just gotta take one day at a time and remember that even through hard parts of becoming healthier, we are SO worth it! <3
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    Hi, I did the same thing last Sunday. I gained over 12 pounds since I came home from camping for the summer. All I have wanted to do it cook and then eat it. I got on the scale and found that I weighted 223.4 which is the highest I have ever been. The number really does not matter. If we are more than we have ever been then its time to start over. Well that's what I told myself. This has been a good week since I joined the program. Always someone at hand to chat with or share with. Lets face it we may never be thin but we can endeavor to be healthy. I am 68 years old and have been heavy since I was 48. Thats 20 years too long...Good luck. Lolly T

    Glad to know I'm not alone! I live in a college town and it seems like almost everyone around me is thin and beautiful while I'm the fat ugly duckling :cry: But you're right, now is the best time to start over! It's never too late! Good luck to you, too :happy:
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
    I completely understand how you feel, it looks like we're about the same weight and I lost 15 lbs last year only to gain them ALL back this year :( What you have to do is turn it around and use that displeasure with yourself as MOTIVATION. Let it fuel you into changing your life! Feel free to add me for extra motivation! :)
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
    I think my moment of truth was my new doctor being a b***h to me about my health without even knowing anything about it. She automatically assumed that my concern about my hormones was about my thyroid, which is just fine, as opposed to the hormones I was actually worried about, for which I still have no information. Anyway, after a battery of tests showed that I don't drink enough milk,she shipped me to a dietician who was surprisingly nice, gave me a lot of good advice, and sent me here. So far I'm 20 pounds down and I still don't drink enough milk.
  • BeckyD1105
    BeckyD1105 Posts: 444 Member
    I'm new to this too and have done weight watchers in the past. If you want a buddy, send me a friend request.

    I think the biggest thing I've come to realize is that if I don't do something about where I'm at, I'm just going to continue gaininig. So the quicker I restart my journey of losing weight, the quicker I stop the gain and the less I will have to relose.

    We both can do this. We've lost weight in the past so we know how to do it!
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    Hi! Welcome to MFP :) I went through a lot of 'diet phases' which never really worked... I piled on the pounds through puberty and have never really been happy with my weight since I was about 15. I always told myself I'll do this exercise, I'll not eat this food, and even went through a 'cuppa soup and cereal bar for lunch' phase where its all I ate every day for about a month. I didn't even lose a pound by doing that and it made me mega depressed. I thought what's the point? If I can't lose weight by eating next-to-nothing I might as well give up and eat what I want, when I want. But joining MFP has helped me unbelievably. I can track my food which is the most helpful part so I know how much I've eaten, so I know if I can have something else as a snack or I have to stop and have a glass of water instead, it's genius! I really hope this site helps you and if you need any support and motivation there are lots of people on here in the same or similar situation as you :) If you like you can add me as a friend and I'll support you all the way :) x

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! I've been through a lot of the same stuff and I've had more than my fair share of failed diets ending with a "what's the point" phase where I eat whatever and never exercise for months because when I did try so hard to lose weight, it wasn't working anyway. I've heard great things about this site and am really looking forward to using it! I would definitely like to be friends with you :) thanks!
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    I came to the same realization last week when I stepped on the scale at the gym after my workout - and found out that I was 11.6 pounds heavier than I thought I was and ya - that much further away from my target. It sucks! I'm at the heaviest I've been I think ever and I'm still haven't gotten over that (but am slowly turning it into motivation!) Add me? I'd love to talk with you or anyone else in a similar situation!

    I'll definitely add you! It's great to know there are people who have been through the exact same thing :) I'm gonna try to turn it into motivation, too!
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    Like you, I have tried almost every diet out there! I've been a heavy girl all my life but it didn't really escalate into a big problem until I started college. I understand your frustration. The scale is often times my worst enemy. I am new to this site as well and am just starting my journey to a healthier me. My advice to you is don't depend solely on the scale for happiness. When you begin eating healthier and exercising, think about how you feel. Let this be your motivation to keep going, because the scale can tear you down. I know it has me. We can do this! Just gotta take one day at a time and remember that even through hard parts of becoming healthier, we are SO worth it! <3

    Thanks so much for your advice! I really appreciate it! :) I'd like to be friends on here if it's okay with you!
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    I completely understand how you feel, it looks like we're about the same weight and I lost 15 lbs last year only to gain them ALL back this year :( What you have to do is turn it around and use that displeasure with yourself as MOTIVATION. Let it fuel you into changing your life! Feel free to add me for extra motivation! :)

    Thanks for the encouragement! I will definitely add you! :)
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    I think my moment of truth was my new doctor being a b***h to me about my health without even knowing anything about it. She automatically assumed that my concern about my hormones was about my thyroid, which is just fine, as opposed to the hormones I was actually worried about, for which I still have no information. Anyway, after a battery of tests showed that I don't drink enough milk,she shipped me to a dietician who was surprisingly nice, gave me a lot of good advice, and sent me here. So far I'm 20 pounds down and I still don't drink enough milk.

    I've been meaning to go to a dietician but have just been too much of a chicken... I know of a few other people who have visited one and have had great results though, so maybe I should look into it!
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    I'm new to this too and have done weight watchers in the past. If you want a buddy, send me a friend request.

    I think the biggest thing I've come to realize is that if I don't do something about where I'm at, I'm just going to continue gaininig. So the quicker I restart my journey of losing weight, the quicker I stop the gain and the less I will have to relose.

    We both can do this. We've lost weight in the past so we know how to do it!

    Thank you! I'll send you a friend request :)

    And you're so right, I just need to pick up the pieces and start over! We CAN do this! :)
  • Smokey19
    Smokey19 Posts: 796 Member
    You have the right plan to lose that weight and get healthy. You have to think about this as a healthy lifestyle change. This site is not a diet. You can eat, log and then evaluate and learn from what you ate. You have to get moving a little at a time. Make changes slowly...one step at a time. You really can do this.

    I have been overweight my entire life and was finally told that I would die if things didn't change. That was a wake up call and I took control of my life. I have suffered with depression my entire life and was made fun of for my weight since I was in grade school. Instead of changing things, I ate my frustrations. I learned that journaling your feelings can really be helpful.

    Please feel free to add me for support and motivation. My name is Kimberlee, 49.
  • Thejules
    Thejules Posts: 2
    Went through something similar. Went to the doctor to get cleared for surgery and discovered my true weight. Disgusted with the way I felt and looked, joined this site 3 weeks ago and have kept an eye on everything I eat. Have started back to exercising and with a lot of willpower, have lost almost 11 pounds in those three weeks. Hasn't been easy, but have several goals in mind that keep me headed down the right path. Good luck with getting those pounds off and feeling better about yourself.
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    You have the right plan to lose that weight and get healthy. You have to think about this as a healthy lifestyle change. This site is not a diet. You can eat, log and then evaluate and learn from what you ate. You have to get moving a little at a time. Make changes slowly...one step at a time. You really can do this.

    I have been overweight my entire life and was finally told that I would die if things didn't change. That was a wake up call and I took control of my life. I have suffered with depression my entire life and was made fun of for my weight since I was in grade school. Instead of changing things, I ate my frustrations. I learned that journaling your feelings can really be helpful.

    Please feel free to add me for support and motivation. My name is Kimberlee, 49.

    Yep, diets suck! From what I've heard this site is great for helping you keep track of meals and calories burned, so I'm excited to start using it!

    You should be VERY proud of how far you've come - 104 pounds lost, that's amazing! :drinker:

    Thank you so much for your reply! I will definitely be sending you a friend request! :flowerforyou:
  • cecyvaquero
    cecyvaquero Posts: 154 Member
    Congratulations on taking the first step and joining us on MFP. That itself is a big step. I love this site becuase it helps you realize what you are eating and therefore you will eat less. log on everyday and try to exercise atleast 5 days a week. It doesn't have to be for hours at a time but start slow. You can start off with 10 minutes a day. Don't overdo it. you might not see results right away but trust me you will. If you need motivation we are here for you. Try to eat healthier things instead of what you have been eating. Don't forget your vitamins.
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    Went through something similar. Went to the doctor to get cleared for surgery and discovered my true weight. Disgusted with the way I felt and looked, joined this site 3 weeks ago and have kept an eye on everything I eat. Have started back to exercising and with a lot of willpower, have lost almost 11 pounds in those three weeks. Hasn't been easy, but have several goals in mind that keep me headed down the right path. Good luck with getting those pounds off and feeling better about yourself.

    Wow, great job! :) And thank you for sharing your story. Good luck to you, too!
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    Congratulations on taking the first step and joining us on MFP. That itself is a big step. I love this site becuase it helps you realize what you are eating and therefore you will eat less. log on everyday and try to exercise atleast 5 days a week. It doesn't have to be for hours at a time but start slow. You can start off with 10 minutes a day. Don't overdo it. you might not see results right away but trust me you will. If you need motivation we are here for you. Try to eat healthier things instead of what you have been eating. Don't forget your vitamins.

    Thanks! I'm so excited about all my new friends on here haha :) This is gonna be so much more fun than doing it alone with some stupid fad diet!
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
    When I got to my highest weight, 320, I felt very depressed and defeated by it. I stayed at 280 for years and for some reason I thought as long as I was under 300, it wasn't that bad, so when I shot over it, it devastated me. But now when I have bad days I just think of the number 320 and how I will never see it again. We can't change where we start from, but if you think of every new weight as a momentary thing that you won't ever be back to, it changes your perspective a little bit.
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    When I got to my highest weight, 320, I felt very depressed and defeated by it. I stayed at 280 for years and for some reason I thought as long as I was under 300, it wasn't that bad, so when I shot over it, it devastated me. But now when I have bad days I just think of the number 320 and how I will never see it again. We can't change where we start from, but if you think of every new weight as a momentary thing that you won't ever be back to, it changes your perspective a little bit.

    That's a great way to think about it! Thank you so much :)
  • cyndymar
    cyndymar Posts: 73
    We all get that way, we step on the scale it goes up ,it goes down . It doesn't define who u are its doesn't tell u what a great person u are , how much your family and friends love u, that u have the power to choose your happiness !!! Yes u have the power to change it . Can u yes with dedication , sweat, & even tears . I weighed 254 at my highest and decided that I needed to change my eating habits first if I was ever going to accomplish my weightloss. I now weigh 160 and still progressing slowly but surely I will get there . I do alot of weightlifting and that is what has help shred the fat along with clean eating ( no processed foods mostly organic or all natural foods) and exercise . 70% food 30% exercise . That will yield results You can do it hun just keep your head up high , eat clean, train hard , PUSH foward YES YOU CAN !!!
  • KmusicheartBTS
    KmusicheartBTS Posts: 39 Member
    I can definitely relate to some aspects of your experience, or even most aspects. I have reached the highest weight in my life in 2009. I had a very stressful job that prompted me to go to the store almost every night (after 11pm), buy myself junk food, and gorge on it before bed. At the time, I also didn't exercise. I knew I was gaining weight, but I couldn't take a moment and truly assess what was happening. There came a moment, when I started to have knee pain. Never had health issues before, so it was truly alarming. Then I weighed myself... :-/ It took me some time to recover from shock. What does it all mean for me? I asked. I couldn't continue this anymore. So, I decided to join a gym. It was a slow journey with lots of ups and downs. I struggled with food, but I maintained my exercise commitment as much as I could. Then I moved back to the state where I initially came from and joined the Y there. My weight slowly climbed down, I became fitter and happier, even though I was still over my desired weight. The director at the Y asked me to pose for a newsletter and tell them my short story, which I did. At the time I was 142 lbs or something, but my goal was 133 lbs. I just kept going. I remember days, when I didn't want to work out at all. I got my butt to the gym, went to the corner, and cried my eyes out because I really didn't want to be there. Other days were better. Anyway, life has been up and down since then and that's the journey. I hope that you gather your patience and start climbing down slowly. It's very possible and WILL happen if you just don't give up. Make sure to use the community for help and support! And, make sure that when you have bad days, pick yourself up, dust it off, and start anew!

    Evelyn
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    I guess that moment of truth is different for each of us. I've struggled with weight my entire adult life, going through cycles of losing, then regaining. I've been overweight this time since about 1991 or 1992, so a good 20 years. I've started and abandoned countless fitness plans since then, feeling completely out of control and unable to help myself. What finally clicked is the evening in early September when I was preparing for bed and feeling completely miserable with how I had stuffed myself all freaking day long. And then I started thinking about the sherbet that was in the freezer. Suddenly I saw with crystal clarity that I had been doing this to myself ON PURPOSE because it made me turn my focus to self-loathing and food rather than outward to the problem of suspecting my son of being on drugs while he was living here doing nothing to get his life back on track, also my boredom and dissatisfaction with my job. I knew in that moment that I had been control all along, and if I could do such a horrible thing to myself on purpose, I could do something new. And ever since then I have stopped eating between meals and have been keeping track of my calories. I also asked son to leave, which he did. Now I cry a lot instead of stuffing myself. I guess weeping for overeating is a fair trade-off.
  • Midnight1210
    Midnight1210 Posts: 134 Member
    You can do this and this site will help you tremendously.

    As others have said, don't think of it as dieting - it's a change of lifestyle. You will become more aware of what you eat and how you exercise and see how it really makes difference.

    I've always been back and forth with my weight so I know how hard it is. Since grade school I have been genetically predisposed to weight accumulating in unflattering areas and severe depression. I tried every gimmick, bought expensive machines and eventually developed an eating disorder that took a long time to overcome.

    A car accident in 2004 changed my life forever. With permanent nerve damage to the right side and constant pain - exercising was almost unbearable. I was putting on weight from being sedentary and depression worsened. Still, I managed to find the inner strength to lose weight and keep it off for a few years until 2008 - and then everything went downhill again.

    When I started this site this summer I had reached the heaviest I've ever been and knew it was time to drop the weight - and this time keep it off. The nerve damage is still there, the pain is still there and the depression is still there. With the help of this site and the great people I've met - I push myself through it. The simple truth is, the only one who can stop you from succeeding - is you.

    So stay strong, stay honest with your logging and gather a good group of supportive friends here and you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

    I've 65 lbs to go myself and in it for the long haul. Anyone can feel free to add me. :bigsmile:
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    We all get that way, we step on the scale it goes up ,it goes down . It doesn't define who u are its doesn't tell u what a great person u are , how much your family and friends love u, that u have the power to choose your happiness !!! Yes u have the power to change it . Can u yes with dedication , sweat, & even tears . I weighed 254 at my highest and decided that I needed to change my eating habits first if I was ever going to accomplish my weightloss. I now weigh 160 and still progressing slowly but surely I will get there . I do alot of weightlifting and that is what has help shred the fat along with clean eating ( no processed foods mostly organic or all natural foods) and exercise . 70% food 30% exercise . That will yield results You can do it hun just keep your head up high , eat clean, train hard , PUSH foward YES YOU CAN !!!

    Thank you so much for the encouragement! :) I admire your dedication so much!
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    I can definitely relate to some aspects of your experience, or even most aspects. I have reached the highest weight in my life in 2009. I had a very stressful job that prompted me to go to the store almost every night (after 11pm), buy myself junk food, and gorge on it before bed. At the time, I also didn't exercise. I knew I was gaining weight, but I couldn't take a moment and truly assess what was happening. There came a moment, when I started to have knee pain. Never had health issues before, so it was truly alarming. Then I weighed myself... :-/ It took me some time to recover from shock. What does it all mean for me? I asked. I couldn't continue this anymore. So, I decided to join a gym. It was a slow journey with lots of ups and downs. I struggled with food, but I maintained my exercise commitment as much as I could. Then I moved back to the state where I initially came from and joined the Y there. My weight slowly climbed down, I became fitter and happier, even though I was still over my desired weight. The director at the Y asked me to pose for a newsletter and tell them my short story, which I did. At the time I was 142 lbs or something, but my goal was 133 lbs. I just kept going. I remember days, when I didn't want to work out at all. I got my butt to the gym, went to the corner, and cried my eyes out because I really didn't want to be there. Other days were better. Anyway, life has been up and down since then and that's the journey. I hope that you gather your patience and start climbing down slowly. It's very possible and WILL happen if you just don't give up. Make sure to use the community for help and support! And, make sure that when you have bad days, pick yourself up, dust it off, and start anew!

    Evelyn

    Thanks! I'll be sure to follow your advice :) And great job losing all that weight! You look fantastic in your picture!

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