New to MFP, depressed about my weight :(

2

Replies

  • Kassadeedle
    Kassadeedle Posts: 136 Member
    Hi! I just started yesterday and I'm also really depressed about my weight, I used to be so tiny! Add me if you want, I'm trying to lose 50lbs!
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    I guess that moment of truth is different for each of us. I've struggled with weight my entire adult life, going through cycles of losing, then regaining. I've been overweight this time since about 1991 or 1992, so a good 20 years. I've started and abandoned countless fitness plans since then, feeling completely out of control and unable to help myself. What finally clicked is the evening in early September when I was preparing for bed and feeling completely miserable with how I had stuffed myself all freaking day long. And then I started thinking about the sherbet that was in the freezer. Suddenly I saw with crystal clarity that I had been doing this to myself ON PURPOSE because it made me turn my focus to self-loathing and food rather than outward to the problem of suspecting my son of being on drugs while he was living here doing nothing to get his life back on track, also my boredom and dissatisfaction with my job. I knew in that moment that I had been control all along, and if I could do such a horrible thing to myself on purpose, I could do something new. And ever since then I have stopped eating between meals and have been keeping track of my calories. I also asked son to leave, which he did. Now I cry a lot instead of stuffing myself. I guess weeping for overeating is a fair trade-off.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. Crying is no fun; I hope things turn around for you soon!
  • thr33martins
    thr33martins Posts: 192 Member
    I think my moment of truth was my new doctor being a b***h to me about my health without even knowing anything about it. She automatically assumed that my concern about my hormones was about my thyroid, which is just fine, as opposed to the hormones I was actually worried about, for which I still have no information. Anyway, after a battery of tests showed that I don't drink enough milk,she shipped me to a dietician who was surprisingly nice, gave me a lot of good advice, and sent me here. So far I'm 20 pounds down and I still don't drink enough milk.

    Ha ha! I don't drink any milk!! :) How much are we supposed to drink? I have never ever been told that before!!

    Sounds like you made the best of a bad situation (*****y doctor) - good for you. 20 pounds is a great accomplishment!

    And to OP, you took the first step, and often that one is the hardest. Keep focused, continue to educate yourself, and remember your ability to turn a mad moment around. You can do this!!
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    You can do this and this site will help you tremendously.

    As others have said, don't think of it as dieting - it's a change of lifestyle. You will become more aware of what you eat and how you exercise and see how it really makes difference.

    I've always been back and forth with my weight so I know how hard it is. Since grade school I have been genetically predisposed to weight accumulating in unflattering areas and severe depression. I tried every gimmick, bought expensive machines and eventually developed an eating disorder that took a long time to overcome.

    A car accident in 2004 changed my life forever. With permanent nerve damage to the right side and constant pain - exercising was almost unbearable. I was putting on weight from being sedentary and depression worsened. Still, I managed to find the inner strength to lose weight and keep it off for a few years until 2008 - and then everything went downhill again.

    When I started this site this summer I had reached the heaviest I've ever been and knew it was time to drop the weight - and this time keep it off. The nerve damage is still there, the pain is still there and the depression is still there. With the help of this site and the great people I've met - I push myself through it. The simple truth is, the only one who can stop you from succeeding - is you.

    So stay strong, stay honest with your logging and gather a good group of supportive friends here and you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

    I've 65 lbs to go myself and in it for the long haul. Anyone can feel free to add me. :bigsmile:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! :) I have struggled with my weight since grade school as well (was made fun of constantly for it too) and as a result have had on and off depression for about as long as I can remember, but I've been trying to remain optimistic, and this is only day 1 for me on this site but it's already been helping so much! I'd love to be friends on here and encourage each other as much as we can :)
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    And to OP, you took the first step, and often that one is the hardest. Keep focused, continue to educate yourself, and remember your ability to turn a mad moment around. You can do this!!

    Thank you! :D I will!
  • divacat80
    divacat80 Posts: 299 Member
    What matters is not what number on the scale you are on right now,but the weight difference both scales show. Still, you're on the roght path and it's just a matter of time until you reach your goals. Everyone fighting this battle has had ups and lows.
    Cheer up and keep going! You can do this!

    Remember to take measutements as well. The scale can get lost,broken,thrown away or malfunction, so you need. Truly reliable thing to track your progress.

    Good luck!!! :)
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    What matters is not what number on the scale you are on right now,but the weight difference both scales show. Still, you're on the roght path and it's just a matter of time until you reach your goals. Everyone fighting this battle has had ups and lows.
    Cheer up and keep going! You can do this!

    Remember to take measutements as well. The scale can get lost,broken,thrown away or malfunction, so you need. Truly reliable thing to track your progress.

    Good luck!!! :)

    Thanks for the advice/encouragement! I'll try not to let it keep me down and to just power through it :) and I'll try to see if anyone in my house has measuring tape I can borrow!
  • NorthWoodsLee
    NorthWoodsLee Posts: 92 Member
    I understand exactly what you are feeling. I've been overweight my entire adult life - my high was 335 lbs in approx. 1998, and have been bouncing between 285 and 300+ ever since. I was 306 lbs on May 14. I read an article about a week later in The Atlantic magazine that convinced me that, despite all of my past failures to lose weight and keep it off, that it is very possible to do it, particularly when people use a variety of strategies including calorie tracking, social support, etc. In other words - what MFP provides. That confidence made all of the difference for me and enabled me to get started and jump in with both feet. Since then, I've lost 72 lbs. Yes, it's been a lot of work, but even the work has been fun and the social interaction here on MFP and the results have been fantastic. I'm thrilled with my success and the process and my new active and generally "clean" eating lifestyle. I no longer panic at that thought that I can't eat as much pizza as I can shovel in my mouth whenever I want or scarf down a Monster Burger and large fries at Hardees every day. I know that I can and will lose weight if I track my calories and exercise, even though I am not and never will be perfect and have some not-so-great and even bad days. I certainly remember being clinically depressed and so embarrassed that I avoided public events as much as I could. But six months later, I get compliments almost every day about how much this site and my friends have helped me transform my body. I have a long way to go, but I'm extremely excited because I now know what to do, how to do it, and I couldn't be happier with the process. If I can do it, you certainly can and so can anyone else.
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    I understand exactly what you are feeling. I've been overweight my entire adult life - my high was 335 lbs in approx. 1998, and have been bouncing between 285 and 300+ ever since. I was 306 lbs on May 14. I read an article about a week later in The Atlantic magazine that convinced me that, despite all of my past failures to lose weight and keep it off, that it is very possible to do it, particularly when people use a variety of strategies including calorie tracking, social support, etc. In other words - what MFP provides. That confidence made all of the difference for me and enabled me to get started and jump in with both feet. Since then, I've lost 72 lbs. Yes, it's been a lot of work, but even the work has been fun and the social interaction here on MFP and the results have been fantastic. I'm thrilled with my success and the process and my new active and generally "clean" eating lifestyle. I no longer panic at that thought that I can't eat as much pizza as I can shovel in my mouth whenever I want or scarf down a Monster Burger and large fries at Hardees every day. I know that I can and will lose weight if I track my calories and exercise, even though I am not and never will be perfect and have some not-so-great and even bad days. I certainly remember being clinically depressed and so embarrassed that I avoided public events as much as I could. But six months later, I get compliments almost every day about how much this site and my friends have helped me transform my body. I have a long way to go, but I'm extremely excited because I now know what to do, how to do it, and I couldn't be happier with the process. If I can do it, you certainly can and so can anyone else.

    Thanks for sharing your story! What you've accomplished is amazing and so inspirational :) And I'm so relieved to know I'm not the only one who avoids public events (even private events with close friends) because of embarrassment about my weight! But I CAN turn this around, and I will! Thank you so much for your encouragement :)
  • SkullMama73
    SkullMama73 Posts: 33
    For me, the turning point only happened a couple days ago. I'm over 40 pounds overweight at this point but because I am tall, people say there's no way I gained that weight, but I'm not comfortable and I feel so self conscious about my appearance, I also suffer from mild depression so I use food as an emotional blanket. A couple days ago, I heard a comment that Dr. Oz made on the risk of heart disease, saying that if a person can't climb a simple flight of stairs without feeling out of breath, then that person has a greater chance of having a heart attack. That hit home. I'll be 40 soon, and was never athletic growing up, which is part of my problem. I've decided to make a fresh start and rid myself of what's bad for me. I'm label conscious for my family, but not for myself. I realized what a bad example I was to my kids and husband, who is diabetic. How can I take care of them if I can't or won't take care of myself? I know that no one can do this but me. I have to regain control and not eat just because I'm bored, angry, or depressed. So i'm back with tracking my calorie intake for the third time in a year and this time I'm going to make it work this time.
    Best of luck to you and keep positive. Remember you are doing this for your own health and well being. I say these things as a reminder to myself also because I am good at giving advice but not taking it.:smile:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    The best advice I can give you? Decide right now that being motivated is going to be always very very low on the totem scale of priorities.

    Too many people allow a lack of motivation to be the reason why they start slacking and/or give up.

    Motivation isnt necessary. Its the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

    The medicine works with or without the sugar. I think everyone's had enough sugar for now. Just prove you want to get better by taking your medicine with determination, will power and self-discipline instead of motivation. Let motivation be a once in a while treat- not the strong, unstoppable new person youre becoming.

    You dont have to be motivated to workout. You just have to workout to workout.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    One day I noticed my pants were all tight. After first blaming the washing machine in the complex I had just moved into, I sucked it up and joined MFP.
  • NorthWoodsLee
    NorthWoodsLee Posts: 92 Member
    I understand exactly what you are feeling. I've been overweight my entire adult life - my high was 335 lbs in approx. 1998, and have been bouncing between 285 and 300+ ever since. I was 306 lbs on May 14. I read an article about a week later in The Atlantic magazine that convinced me that, despite all of my past failures to lose weight and keep it off, that it is very possible to do it, particularly when people use a variety of strategies including calorie tracking, social support, etc. In other words - what MFP provides. That confidence made all of the difference for me and enabled me to get started and jump in with both feet. Since then, I've lost 72 lbs. Yes, it's been a lot of work, but even the work has been fun and the social interaction here on MFP and the results have been fantastic. I'm thrilled with my success and the process and my new active and generally "clean" eating lifestyle. I no longer panic at that thought that I can't eat as much pizza as I can shovel in my mouth whenever I want or scarf down a Monster Burger and large fries at Hardees every day. I know that I can and will lose weight if I track my calories and exercise, even though I am not and never will be perfect and have some not-so-great and even bad days. I certainly remember being clinically depressed and so embarrassed that I avoided public events as much as I could. But six months later, I get compliments almost every day about how much this site and my friends have helped me transform my body. I have a long way to go, but I'm extremely excited because I now know what to do, how to do it, and I couldn't be happier with the process. If I can do it, you certainly can and so can anyone else.

    Thanks for sharing your story! What you've accomplished is amazing and so inspirational :) And I'm so relieved to know I'm not the only one who avoids public events (even private events with close friends) because of embarrassment about my weight! But I CAN turn this around, and I will! Thank you so much for your encouragement :)

    You're very welcome! And, yes, I too avoided even close friends. I skipped a high school reunion a few years back, despite the fact that one of my very best friends flew across the country to be there and I was only 15 miles away. I attended this year's reunion in October!
  • Crookey21
    Crookey21 Posts: 311 Member
    well you have taken the first step in deciding not to think of a diet but of totally changing your eating habits. this site has totally helped me in making me aware of what im eating. hope you feel better and remember to take it one day at a time. feel free to add me!!
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    I had a bunch of those moments last year. Instead of letting it get me down, I decided to make whatever changes I needed to make in order to build a sustainable, healthy lifestyle. I joined MFP, stuck with it, and lost 123 pounds. You can do it - make the commitment to yourself, and get started.

    I put some tips and helpful links in a blog post a while back:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/truth-justice-and-the-mfp-way-a-primer-for-beginners-422837

    Good luck!
  • JodieC03
    JodieC03 Posts: 1
    I know exactly how you feel! I am happy for you to add me as a friend. It will be nice to support each other along the way.

    I am also new this site. I joined up yesterday after having gone out to dinner on the weekend and seeing myself in some photos that made me realise I need to do something about my weight. I havent been in photos for a very long time and when I saw myself in these photos it made me cringe at the way I looked. I knew I was overweight, as I have weighed myself numerous times and thought I need to do something and never have.:cry: So here I am, gonna give it my best. :smile:
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    Before I joined this site and got control over my eating, I felt horrible about myself everytime I ate... but, the more depressed I got, the more I ate. Makes no sense... but, that's how I was. Joining MFP was a great start for me... and, I'm sure it will be for you too. Good luck in your journey.
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    For me, the turning point only happened a couple days ago. I'm over 40 pounds overweight at this point but because I am tall, people say there's no way I gained that weight, but I'm not comfortable and I feel so self conscious about my appearance, I also suffer from mild depression so I use food as an emotional blanket. A couple days ago, I heard a comment that Dr. Oz made on the risk of heart disease, saying that if a person can't climb a simple flight of stairs without feeling out of breath, then that person has a greater chance of having a heart attack. That hit home. I'll be 40 soon, and was never athletic growing up, which is part of my problem. I've decided to make a fresh start and rid myself of what's bad for me. I'm label conscious for my family, but not for myself. I realized what a bad example I was to my kids and husband, who is diabetic. How can I take care of them if I can't or won't take care of myself? I know that no one can do this but me. I have to regain control and not eat just because I'm bored, angry, or depressed. So i'm back with tracking my calorie intake for the third time in a year and this time I'm going to make it work this time.
    Best of luck to you and keep positive. Remember you are doing this for your own health and well being. I say these things as a reminder to myself also because I am good at giving advice but not taking it.:smile:

    I can totally relate! My friends keep insisting I'm not fat, I don't need to lose weight, blablabla, but what they don't know is I'm just incredibly skilled at hiding my weight gain with my clothing :P And wow, that statement about the stairs is frightening :O I've honestly never been athletic either, but it's never too late to change! From what I've heard MFP is a great eye-opener for people who have a hard time keeping track of what they eat so hopefully this will help me stop with all the binge-eating and eating because I'm bored, etc. Best of luck to you too, and thanks so much for all your advice! :)
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    The best advice I can give you? Decide right now that being motivated is going to be always very very low on the totem scale of priorities.

    Too many people allow a lack of motivation to be the reason why they start slacking and/or give up.

    Motivation isnt necessary. Its the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

    The medicine works with or without the sugar. I think everyone's had enough sugar for now. Just prove you want to get better by taking your medicine with determination, will power and self-discipline instead of motivation. Let motivation be a once in a while treat- not the strong, unstoppable new person youre becoming.

    You dont have to be motivated to workout. You just have to workout to workout.

    I've used lack of motivation as an excuse far, far too many times! It's such an easy way out. :P Thank you for your advice; I'll be sure to keep that in mind! :)
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    One day I noticed my pants were all tight. After first blaming the washing machine in the complex I had just moved into, I sucked it up and joined MFP.

    I've totally been there! I thought all my clothes were just shrinking, then I took a good look at myself in the mirror and realized my stomach had become HUGE! >_< Admitting it is the first step! :tongue:
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    You're very welcome! And, yes, I too avoided even close friends. I skipped a high school reunion a few years back, despite the fact that one of my very best friends flew across the country to be there and I was only 15 miles away. I attended this year's reunion in October!

    I've passed up so many opportunities to have fun with friends of mine who were exchange students from Japan and only going to be in America for a few months (of course always regretting it later) because I was so ashamed of how I looked, and especially standing next to them (they are tiny!) I look and feel huge and disgusting. And with a lot of my close friends from high school, I would stop hanging out with them because the last time they saw me was when I had lost a lot of weight and looked really good, and I was so ashamed of myself for gaining it back and I was so worried about what they might say to me or think about me because of it... I don't want my weight to stop me from doing anything anymore!! Good for you for going to your reunion! :)
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    well you have taken the first step in deciding not to think of a diet but of totally changing your eating habits. this site has totally helped me in making me aware of what im eating. hope you feel better and remember to take it one day at a time. feel free to add me!!

    Thanks! I will certainly add you :)
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    I had a bunch of those moments last year. Instead of letting it get me down, I decided to make whatever changes I needed to make in order to build a sustainable, healthy lifestyle. I joined MFP, stuck with it, and lost 123 pounds. You can do it - make the commitment to yourself, and get started.

    I put some tips and helpful links in a blog post a while back:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/truth-justice-and-the-mfp-way-a-primer-for-beginners-422837

    Good luck!

    Wow, that's such a huge accomplishment! I'll definitely be checking out your blog later :)
  • Cyngen
    Cyngen Posts: 557 Member
    Welcome to a great resource. The friends you make can sure help you stay the course and motivate and support you. I have a lot to lose and made my mind up in February to do so. Slowly but surely it's going the right direction.

    Your coming here to work on it is a great step. Good luck in the journey forward. I'm always open to adding anyone that wants support and will give it in return.
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    I know exactly how you feel! I am happy for you to add me as a friend. It will be nice to support each other along the way.

    I am also new this site. I joined up yesterday after having gone out to dinner on the weekend and seeing myself in some photos that made me realise I need to do something about my weight. I havent been in photos for a very long time and when I saw myself in these photos it made me cringe at the way I looked. I knew I was overweight, as I have weighed myself numerous times and thought I need to do something and never have.:cry: So here I am, gonna give it my best. :smile:

    Thanks! I'll send you a friend request :)

    And welcome, fellow newbie! haha :) I've totally been there! At first I'll try to convince myself that the camera adds ten pounds so I really don't look like that in real life, but then I look at the rest of my friends in the picture and they all look great... That's when I know I need to do something about it! It's so easy to just not look at the things you don't want to look at in the mirror, but the camera doesn't allow you to hide things as easily, especially in candid shots! Good luck to you! :)
  • Rainbow011
    Rainbow011 Posts: 61 Member
    Hey. I've been where you are and it wasn't that long ago, just three weeks ago. I plucked up the encourage to stand on the scales and felt instantly depressed :( I'd be happy to support you in your weight loss journey.

    R x
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    Before I joined this site and got control over my eating, I felt horrible about myself everytime I ate... but, the more depressed I got, the more I ate. Makes no sense... but, that's how I was. Joining MFP was a great start for me... and, I'm sure it will be for you too. Good luck in your journey.

    I totally know the feeling! Thanks for the encouragement :)
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    Welcome to a great resource. The friends you make can sure help you stay the course and motivate and support you. I have a lot to lose and made my mind up in February to do so. Slowly but surely it's going the right direction.

    Your coming here to work on it is a great step. Good luck in the journey forward. I'm always open to adding anyone that wants support and will give it in return.

    Thank you! Day 1 and already I have made so many great, supportive friends :) This site is wonderful!

    Thank you for your well wishes, and I will be sending you a friend request soon!
  • cznutz
    cznutz Posts: 30 Member
    Welcome to MFP. Don't get depressed, be confident that you can and will do this! We are all trying to change ourselves for the better and can use any encouragement given. Add me if you like and we can all motivate each other.
  • mezasu
    mezasu Posts: 42
    Hey. I've been where you are and it wasn't that long ago, just three weeks ago. I plucked up the encourage to stand on the scales and felt instantly depressed :( I'd be happy to support you in your weight loss journey.

    R x

    Thank you! I'll send you a friend request :)

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