Body image and self esteem

Trudyr777
Trudyr777 Posts: 573 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been having a body image/self esteem crisis the last couple of weeks. I have been working out and eating right and am making progress. But, I don't see it! I have people tell me all the time that I am looking great, but when I look in the mirror all I see are the problem areas. I am taking pictures and measurements today to have a more accurate photo journal of my progress. But my question is this. Who else has been there and what did you do to get over the hump?

Replies

  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    you gotta remember that what is on the outside is only half the picture. you're eating healthy, which is good for you on the inside, and also you are loosing fat from around your organs too!

    I still look in the mirror and go... mmm, I need to change this or that, and in the beginning I was happy the scale was changing and I could see it a bit, but I just ignored those times and said to myself "mmmhmm, pretty good, pretty good".

    nothings perfect, and as they say you can't build rome in a day, but you are doing great! 35 pounds is the same as this cat!

    real-life-garfield-thumb.jpg
    for real. he weighs 35lbs.

    you are doing great! keep going and look at all the good stuff!
  • RunnerBlonde808
    RunnerBlonde808 Posts: 257 Member
    You are doing awesome! We all go through times where our body image differs from what we see in the mirror. I am basicaly at goal and maintaining and still have body image issues at times. It's how we perceive ourselves and we are our worst enemy. And I think society today has made us all believe that we should look a certain way and for me that was hard to get over. Besides all those model pictures are air brushed. We are real women!

    You are doing great! Don't let this get you down. Keep up the good work.
  • Saree1902
    Saree1902 Posts: 611 Member
    I try to focus on what my body can do rather than what it looks like. Have you found working out a bit easier? Lifted heavier weights? Run a bit further? Focussing on how you're feeling about this type of progress can often help.

    Plus I bet your wardrobe is different now you're 35lb lighter! Did you keep any 'before' clothes?
  • nexangelus
    nexangelus Posts: 2,080 Member
    Having suffered from eating disorders for a large part of my life, this has been the biggest hurdle for me. I do not count calories or weigh obsessively, or even look in the mirror that much. I never have liked the image that it throws back for the most part in any case so I avoid where possible. My measurements take place monthly.

    What other achievements are there besides weight loss and measurements? Are you running more/faster...are you gaining strength and fitness? Can you do something you could not before? Are your clothes fitting you better and are you maybe fitting in smaller clothes than before. The mind likes to play tricks, or it takes it a bit longer to catch up. The mental bit of weight loss and fitness, etc many forget. You have done so well! There must be loads of plusses in here somewhere?!

    Damn, that poor cat, sheesh!!!
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    A few things...

    First, I am going to assume that you're looking in the mirror daily - maybe even more than once each day. Thus, you are much less likely to notice the small daily improvements you're making. It's probable that the people that *have* noticed see you briefly each day or not even every day. Those people will notice the difference(s) a bit more easily.

    Second, you wrote, "but when I look in the mirror all I see are the problem areas." That's because you are probably too(?) focused on those "problem areas," and are missing the bigger picture.

    Third, and this goes with the second, if you're making progress, then you're likely seeing the progress in the "problem areas," but don't notice it as much, since everything else is making progress, too. I'd imagine that, if you are making progress, you'll see that even where you're not noticing the change(s) really is getting better.

    For me, it was the realization of the third that keeps me going. I still have some lower belly fat to get rid of, and it sometimes looks like it's not changing. What has happened (or is happening, I should say) is that almost my entire body is transforming, and my lower belly looks worse in comparison to the rest of my body - but I've still lost 1-1/2" in the last month on my abdomen. That, and I'm slowly getting some definition in my upper ab area. Thus, noticing improvements in other areas, I know I'm at least on the right track. It may take quite a while, but I'll get there.
  • Trudyr777
    Trudyr777 Posts: 573 Member
    I try to focus on what my body can do rather than what it looks like. Have you found working out a bit easier? Lifted heavier weights? Run a bit further? Focussing on how you're feeling about this type of progress can often help.

    Plus I bet your wardrobe is different now you're 35lb lighter! Did you keep any 'before' clothes?

    I didn't keep any before clothes, sadly. I didn't want to be tempted to "fall back" into them. Bigger clothes are comfy clothes. HA! Yes, I am stronger, I have more stamina, and I have the ability to mix up my workouts more. I *know* it's all mind over matter. But my mind is really messing with me. LOL!!
  • Trudyr777
    Trudyr777 Posts: 573 Member
    A few things...

    First, I am going to assume that you're looking in the mirror daily - maybe even more than once each day. Thus, you are much less likely to notice the small daily improvements you're making. It's probable that the people that *have* noticed see you briefly each day or not even every day. Those people will notice the difference(s) a bit more easily.

    Second, you wrote, "but when I look in the mirror all I see are the problem areas." That's because you are probably too(?) focused on those "problem areas," and are missing the bigger picture.

    Third, and this goes with the second, if you're making progress, then you're likely seeing the progress in the "problem areas," but don't notice it as much, since everything else is making progress, too. I'd imagine that, if you are making progress, you'll see that even where you're not noticing the change(s) really is getting better.

    For me, it was the realization of the third that keeps me going. I still have some lower belly fat to get rid of, and it sometimes looks like it's not changing. What has happened (or is happening, I should say) is that almost my entire body is transforming, and my lower belly looks worse in comparison to the rest of my body - but I've still lost 1-1/2" in the last month on my abdomen. That, and I'm slowly getting some definition in my upper ab area. Thus, noticing improvements in other areas, I know I'm at least on the right track. It may take quite a while, but I'll get there.

    That's it!! That lower belly area!! It drives me crazy! I carry most of my weight in my belly. I can see the jeans getting looser in the legs because my thighs are toning but the waist band is still tight. That's the stuff that is making me nuts!
  • wendyj910
    wendyj910 Posts: 58 Member
    I have been battling a low self esteem for what seems like forever. I have always been the "fat friend" was even referred to as a DUFF (designated ugly fat friend) a few times. My boyfriend hates it....we get into arguments constantly because I call myself a fatty. He has always had super thin girfriends (until me). The last girl he dated before me was a Hooter's girl. So, I am constantly comparing myself to them. Which is horrible, I know. But I think, how can he find me attractive at all when he used to date girls like that. Just last night we were snuggled up on the sofa watching a movie and he put his hand on my belly. He said "God, you are getting so small, I love it". He meant it as a compliment but I didn't take it that way. I took it as he's finally starting to like my body and that he's hated it up until now.

    I am trying to be more confident in myself, but it's so hard. And I don't know how to train my brain into the positive way of thinking instead of the negative way all the time. Yes, I have lost quite a bit of weight but I still have so much more to lose.

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