Comletely Un-related to health... family dilemma?

So, i have this aunt and uncle... and we had a HUGE fight around Easter. Her husband is a scumbag and, had been making fun of my dad, in no lightheartedness at all, for about15 years, every time we went to their house for the holidays, bc they have the money and nicest house. No one ever said anything, and everyone, including myself, is guilty of coming to loggerheads with my father... Hes a difficult man. But i always come back around, apologize, and try and set things right with him. The situation we are dealing with with my Uncle having said things, is ongoing for my entire lifer, no apologies... just ****dom on all fronts...

Well, Around easter the uncle said something i found unforgivable, (that we should have hidden the easter dinner under the cabinets, so my father would have found no food, and gone home, like a dog...???) and instead of calling out my 'uncle' in the middle of easter dinner in their yard, i went home and didnt say anything, and then sent an 'incredibly incendiary letter' (which it absolutely was) to my aunt, explaining that if this behaviour didnt stop, i found no need to be on thepremises for the holidays anymore.

I explained that i respect everyones right to have issues with my father, bc he IS DIFFICULT. However, id like someone to have at least enough familial respect to keep their ****ty opinions to themselves in public, mainly in front of me....

I Said some mean things,. mainly about how my uncle felt he was better than everyone else because he has money, and that didnt mean they can treat people like garbage.... etc etc etc... My aunt countered with 'Do i know how much it costs to host the holiday dinners?' I should have ended the conversation right there.

but, i sent a nasty letter, and now no one talks to anyone.... However, Something i knew was going to happen, is happening, and Thanksgiving is coming... So, she just friend requested me on FB, most likely because she realizes that if my father, fiancee, and i dont come, and my brother and his girlfriend dont come, shell be making dinnerf or her ****ty husband, their kid, and his father, only. Maybe her other brother and his wife. Maybe.

Aw..... should have thought of that i guess????

No one apologized except me (what???) and its been months.... no one talks... she went and saw my father for his birthday, in october, without her husband, who my father openly detests.... i dont know where they stand...

Also, She seemed not to give a flying crap about my engagement, and when i mentioned coming to my wedding last time we talked and she said 'maybe'.... Those 2 instances are plenty for me to know how she feels...

Guess who got a friend request today, 2 weeks before thankgsgiving...? I didnt even know she unfriended me... until i got the request this morning....

I dont know wether i should continue to have extricated myself from their ridiculousness,and leave it all alone, continue planning to have my father down to our house for the holidays... or accept the request and see what she wants.... I have currently closed my FB down.

I think maybe iu should see what my father wants to do, because no matter what, im not setting foot in that house again. I am more than aware what kind of people not only my 'uncle' are, but my aunt as well, at this point. And i have no desire for that kind of crap in my life.

Im looking forward to a holiday season with no one looking down their nose at me, my immediate family, and everything we have ever done...

Ugh.... unbelievable. i rly want to ignore the entire thing for pretty ,much the next 30 years.... but she obviously wants to establish... something....

I know i sound like a whiny emo kid, but i never stood up for myself once in my entire life.... this was the time.

What would you do???