I lost the weight, now what?

wlaurel
wlaurel Posts: 43
in Motivation and Support
So I have this problem, it's called being a perfectionist. Last year, I moved away from home to go to school. I was bored and lonely so I spent most of my free time at the gym. I knew I wasn't fat or unhealthy, but I wanted to be "better" than everyone there. I had to be running the fastest, the longest, I had to be lifting the heaviest weights. Most of all I wanted to show the most results. Seeing as I started out at 130lbs, this wasn't that easy because there was only so much I could lose! Anyways, I was a tad bit obsessive and lost 15lbs by the time summer approached. Surprisingly, going home for three months broke my competitive spirit. I stopped working out and ate whatever was handed to me by my mother. I didn't step on a scale or count calories or monitor what I ate the entire time. Well anyways, taking a step away from the gym/dieting had cleared my mind. I recently looked at my log, some days I was eating below 1200 calories and burning atleast 900 at the gym. Now, I wouldn't go as far as saying I had an eating disorder. I think it is fair to say that losing a pound is addicting for everyone, you want to see more results the next time you step on that scale. I knew I was skinny, that wasn't my issue. I was addicted to watching the number on the scale shrink, to being the last one at the gym, to finding tricks that would cut back my calories. I've realized that I don't even like my new "healthy" body more than the one I had prior! The weight I lost came mostly from my boobs and my butt. I have to admit, I miss them both! I haven't been to the gym or counted a single calorie since June, but I haven't been able to put any of the weight back on. That being said, I am much healthier mentally now than I was when I was pumping weights and seperating yokes. I eat when I'm hungry, and I don't waste any sleep feeling guilty for the number my calories add up to. Keep cutting back calories and adding more time on the elyptical, but ask yourself, are you happy? Are you giving yourself enough time to just stop and THINK, or is the only thing on your mind healthy foods and the gym? Is being 100% physically healthy really worth the obsession? In my case the answer was and is hell no.

Replies

  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    My name is Laurel too.
  • wlaurel
    wlaurel Posts: 43
    Nice ;)
  • metacognition
    metacognition Posts: 626 Member
    "Is being 100% physically healthy really worth the obsession? In my case the answer was and is hell no."

    I don't want to become extreme or obsessed with my goals, but I am putting in a lot of effort. I have been overweight since I was eight years old and I still have a decent amount of poundage to move. I am motivated by the thought of looking in the mirror and seeing a trim and slender body - my entire self-image revolves around being the fat girl - and it would be life-affirming to see something else. I want to reach my goal weight once in my life, and this attempt has come closer than the others. I don't really care about being the fittest person in the gym, and I don't want to lose my boobs or butt though. :)
  • UhOhItsKylie
    UhOhItsKylie Posts: 92 Member
    I could have written that word for word about 2 years ago. I have always been pretty lean and lanky without much effort, but when I met my then boyfriend (now husband) and got really comfortable, I ended up gaining about 12 lbs and a few pant sizes. So eventually, I cleaned up my diet and started working out.

    Once I started to see results, I was completely hooked. It didn't take me long to figure out that the less I ate and the more I worked out, the faster I would see results. I was entirely obsessed, to the point where missing a workout would give me an insane amount of anxiety and I would beat myself up for DAYS if I ate something "bad". And just like you, I was addicted to seeing the number on the scale get lower and lower. Eventually, I got down to 117 lbs...which at 5'7" is way, way too skinny. I too lost all my boobs and butt. I just looked sick... and I was! I would bruise at the slightest touch because I was malnourished.

    Ultimately, I completely burned myself out on working out and eating healthy. Just like you, I was completely miserable and decided it wasn't worth it anymore. The thought of even stepping in the gym made me sick. It took me about a year to adjust my mind set about food and fitness and learn what's healthy and what's not.

    Now I am back in the gym about 5-6 days a week, but I fuel my body properly and I can't believe how much better I feel. I allow myself indulgences completely guilt free. I skip workouts because things come up or because I just don't feel like it like that day - and that's fine! I'm not perfect and I'm not trying to be - just taking that pressure off myself feels so much better!

    Working out and eating right doesn't have to rule your life and make you miserable. Quite the opposite - it should enrich your life and make you feel happier and healthier. My point of all of this is... there is a difference between dedication and obsession, but it can be a fine line.
  • wlaurel
    wlaurel Posts: 43
    Good for you!! This does not apply to people who are losing weight for health reasons. I just got tired of counting calories and thinking about NOT eating and when the next time I COULD eat and what would I eat and how could I plan my meals so I could afford to eat 5 cheezits?

    I hope you reach your goal, sounds like you are dedicated :)
  • wlaurel
    wlaurel Posts: 43
    I could have written that word for word about 2 years ago. I have always been pretty lean and lanky without much effort, but when I met my then boyfriend (now husband) and got really comfortable, I ended up gaining about 12 lbs and a few pant sizes. So eventually, I cleaned up my diet and started working out.

    Once I started to see results, I was completely hooked. It didn't take me long to figure out that the less I ate and the more I worked out, the faster I would see results. I was entirely obsessed, to the point where missing a workout would give me an insane amount of anxiety and I would beat myself up for DAYS if I ate something "bad". And just like you, I was addicted to seeing the number on the scale get lower and lower. Eventually, I got down to 117 lbs...which at 5'7" is way, way too skinny. I too lost all my boobs and butt. I just looked sick... and I was! I would bruise at the slightest touch because I was malnourished.

    Ultimately, I completely burned myself out on working out and eating healthy. Just like you, I was completely miserable and decided it wasn't worth it anymore. The thought of even stepping in the gym made me sick. It took me about a year to adjust my mind set about food and fitness and learn what's healthy and what's not.

    Now I am back in the gym about 5-6 days a week, but I fuel my body properly and I can't believe how much better I feel. I allow myself indulgences completely guilt free. I skip workouts because things come up or because I just don't feel like it like that day - and that's fine! I'm not perfect and I'm not trying to be - just taking that pressure off myself feels so much better!

    Working out and eating right doesn't have to rule your life and make you miserable. Quite the opposite - it should enrich your life and make you feel happier and healthier. My point of all of this is... there is a difference between dedication and obsession, but it can be a fine line.

    I definitely agree... I hope that I too can be gym/diet healthy without getting obsessive. Until then... I'm giving myself a little break! It's good to know that someone like me was able to find that balance, thanks for your input :)

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