I am NOT the father...

SyStEmPhReAk
SyStEmPhReAk Posts: 330 Member
Haha.. Gotta love a little Maury reference. He's classic...

Anyway, here is a bit of a funny story for your Thursday...

During the week of the Storm here in NYC, a co-worker (single mom) brought her son to work. (**sidenote** shout out to all of the single parents on MFP!!! You have one of, if not, the HARDEST job out there!) Things were slow that day becuase most people were not able to get to work, so I had more time on my hands to "entertain". I hung out with the little guy, joked around with him, let him sit in my office and because I'm cool as *kitten*, naturally he took a liking to me (I'm awesome, what can i say). To tell you the truth, it was tiring as HELL. The kid was cool and all, but he was such a pain in the butt to deal with. He's that badass kid that you want to tie to a chair just to get to sit still for a minute! At one point during the day I actually had to hide from him just to get some peace and quiet!!! :sad:

Fast forward to just a few minutes ago. I see my coworker and she says "your little guy did well on his report card". Forgetting for a minute who she was talking about I say "huh?" She then repeats "your little guy did well on his report card... He made mom proud". Now, have you ever had a thing that happens in your brain where you process about 1 million thoughts within the span of just a few seconds? Well, if not, hitch-hike on my experience for a moment... As she says those three words - "YOUR LITTLE GUY" - the nightmare of that day that I had tucked away ever so neatly in my subconscious resurfaces, and an explosion of incomplete sentence fragments rush through my mind... I say to myself, "that badass kid is not..." "ain't no way in hell he's my..." "he's your boy lady, not..." Until finally Maury Povich's voice drowns out my own and yells "you are NOT the father!!" I don't know why, but my first inclination wasn't to congratulate her or her son, but to DENY, DENY, DENY! Finally snapping back to reality, I squeeked out a response - something to the effect of "oh... wow... good for him." Then I walked away, still left with my thoughts...

In all seriousness, I am happy for her and VERY proud of him! He really is a good kid, but I'll be damned if he isn't a handful to deal with!!! :laugh: :noway: #icannotwaitforparenthood

Replies

  • RockstarPunch
    RockstarPunch Posts: 203 Member
    lmao, wow! that story is Hilarious! Kids are interesting little people lol. thats funny.....
  • carryingon
    carryingon Posts: 609 Member
    Haha.. Gotta love a little Maury reference. He's classic...

    Anyway, here is a bit of a funny story for your Thursday...

    During the week of the Storm here in NYC, a co-worker (single mom) brought her son to work. (**sidenote** shout out to all of the single parents on MFP!!! You have one of, if not, the HARDEST job out there!)

    First-props to you for being awesome and giving her a break! Second thanks for the props! I never thought I would be a single parent. It is the hardest job in the world.
  • tumblr_m6wq174N2f1qbbil5o2_250.gif
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
    gotta love maury. if you ever feel bad about your life, just watch him.
  • Musikelektronik
    Musikelektronik Posts: 739 Member
    But unless you've slept with your co-worker (and I assume you hadn't), why would these thoughts even occur to you?
  • toya316
    toya316 Posts: 137 Member
    gotta love maury. if you ever feel bad about your life, just watch him.


    EXACTLY...
  • KaciWood19
    KaciWood19 Posts: 396 Member
    Obscure reference: Jersey Shore "stage 5 clinger!"
  • SherryR1971
    SherryR1971 Posts: 1,170 Member
    LOL Love it! We parents forget that not everyone is as enamored of our children as we are!!
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    That is a really strange way to share that information. It would freak me out too, LOL!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Dad of the Year.
  • alvalaurie
    alvalaurie Posts: 369 Member
    That's too funny! Definately a weird way to anounce her good news. :huh:
  • chcunningham
    chcunningham Posts: 26 Member
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    HAHA!!! to funny:laugh:
  • JacquelineD35
    JacquelineD35 Posts: 279 Member
    thanks for the Props... being a single mommy to two kids is a lot of work. And this post was funny as hell, was super nice of you to let him hang around you.
  • dare2love81
    dare2love81 Posts: 928 Member
    But unless you've slept with your co-worker (and I assume you hadn't), why would these thoughts even occur to you?

    I'm sure one of his thoughts was also "Oh crap, what *REALLY* happened at that Christmas party a few years back?!"
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Awww…what an awesome story! Mad props to you for helping Mom out. Trust me…we need the mental health break now & then, LOL! :laugh:

    I would like to share a story with you. When my ex-husband & I split up years later, I flew from Reno back to Philly with my 2 kids, by myself. My son was 1 & ½ and my daughter was 4 & ½. My son sat in my lap so he could fly for free. I was about ready to throw myself out of the plane when the gentleman sitting next to us plucked my son out of my lap and showed him the magic of the flip-down tray on the seat in front of him. He told me he had grandkids that age & happily kept my son occupied for the rest of that flight. Then, on the connecting flight, the flight attendant made the mistake of giving my kids cookies. So, naturally, my son wanted follow her everywhere and, of course, she worked in the first class cabin. FML, right? Well the lady sitting next to us on this flight, whipped out the SkyMall magazine & kept my daughter occupied so I could keep my son from invading first class.

    People like you who are willing to color, play games with or otherwise keep a child occupied so Mom can get work done or just keep an eye on that kid’s sibling are saviors in my book. Kudos to you! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • SyStEmPhReAk
    SyStEmPhReAk Posts: 330 Member
    But unless you've slept with your co-worker (and I assume you hadn't), why would these thoughts even occur to you?

    I'm sure one of his thoughts was also "Oh crap, what *REALLY* happened at that Christmas party a few years back?!"

    haha.. unless i was given a roofie and taken advantage of, ain't no way THAT was happening...
  • I think someone is crushing on you...

    I hope you don't start getting school pictures and a request for child support!
  • UnoDrea3732
    UnoDrea3732 Posts: 342 Member
    LMAO!! Definitely the laugh of the day!
  • katiwagner
    katiwagner Posts: 82 Member
    Oh my goodness! Love it, this story had me giggling the whole time!
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    Gotta stay away from the work girls man.. stay away.. Go outside the house to play... But ya I know the feeling when a million things go threw your head, you know what look us guys have on our face during that time period.. the idiot look.
  • melliebee
    melliebee Posts: 187 Member
    Men. Always happy and willing to sow their seed, but are terrified at the thought of it planting!!! :)
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
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    LOL!!! FTW!!!
  • Wow to funny and how strange of her to refer to him as "your little guy". Sounds like someone was so impressed with how good you were with her son that she's now seriously crushing and daddy shopping lol. Any passer by hearing her comment would suddenly assume you are the father wich reminds me of a story of my own. When my now 13yr old daughter was about 2 I went out with a veryatractive man about 5yrs my junior so at the time he was about 22 yrs old and had never dated a woman with a child before. Oour first date we went to the movies and to grab a bite to eat, my cousin had my daughter over for the night to play with her girls so it was just us and we sat and talked for hours. Since we had hit it off so well and he was just an awesome guyhe asked if he could come by and take both me and my daughter to the park the next day. He of course fell in love with her (he had met her a few days before when he met me) They played at the park as if they had always been together anyone passing would have thought for sure she was his. It suddenly clouded up and he rushed us to the truck, grabing her up running when the rain started using himself to keep her dry. Not wanting to take us home yet we grabed at bite to eat at a drive through and headed to the mall. We were sitting on a bench in the middle of the mall having ice cream when a guy he had went to school with walked up and started talking before my friend could say anything the stanger asked well aren't you going to introduce me to your lovely family, my friend introduced us explaining we were not family infact we had just met. The stranger became very angery and pulled my friend aside a chewed him out for denying we were his family, he should be ashamed and asked how he could say such a beautifull baby wasnt his and that he should be proud to have me in his life. My friend tried hard to explain but they guy just wouldn't have it and came over and apologized to me for my friend and walked away telling him "you ain't right man, thas just wrong". My firend was a bit upset about the whole thing but we laughed it off and went on. A bit later we were in a store looking around and my daughter was tring to get his attention, seeing another child quickly get a mans attention by yelling out daddy, she yelled "daddy look" to my friend and of course shoked he turned around quickly then asked what did she say. I tried to act like I didn't hear her but not only did I hear her so do tje guy who had insisted we were a family. T My friend didn't see him in the store but the guy just grined at me and walked away . I have seen my friend a few times over the years and as of the last time I saw him the guy still was asking him who his family was doing everytime they would run into each other. Lol as if I would allow the father of my child to deny her standing in my face and not say something.
  • SyStEmPhReAk
    SyStEmPhReAk Posts: 330 Member

    People like you who are willing to color, play games with or otherwise keep a child occupied so Mom can get work done or just keep an eye on that kid’s sibling are saviors in my book. Kudos to you! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    :blushing: :blushing:
  • dg09
    dg09 Posts: 754
    tumblr_m6wq174N2f1qbbil5o2_250.gif

    :laugh:

    The video is even better -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGtWssdauME