When spouse is not on board?

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mhaight85
mhaight85 Posts: 68
in Health and Weight Loss
My husband and I both should lose weight, but he is totally not committed to healthy eating or regular exercise. He knows he is not eating healthy, and has made several comments about his belly getting fat and his pants not fitting well anymore. That in and of its self wouldn't be so bad, what I have trouble with is that it seems like he is trying to sabotage me! lol Maybe I'm exaggerating...

He enjoys cooking, and I appreciate that, but he cooks for enough for an army and loves to make things that aren't healthy. Like pasta with creamy sauces, bacon rich dishes, etc. He gets upset if I don't eat what he cooks, so I try to keep to small portions but it's still frustrating. I'd rather eat a big bowl of something healthy, than eat a tiny portion of some fattening!

My husband has also recently decided to start baking. So a couple weeks ago he baked pumpkin pie and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and then the other night chocolate brownies. Again, gets upset if I don't help him eat stuff even though he knows I'm really working hard to lose weight.

So my question is, after all the rambling, what do you do when you're spouse isn't on board with your goals?

Replies

  • von1715
    von1715 Posts: 7 Member
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    I have sort of the same issue- although my husband is also diabetic and HAS to lose weight- but keeps in the mind set of "it won't happen to me". I've been down the weight loss/ eating healthy thing more times than I can count and he's never been very supportive. I do most of the cooking in the house, but when he DOES cook- it's all the fatty high calorie stuff. What I've done in the past and now- is I plan on keeping up my healthy eating- he can chose to be WITH me or not- but when I start losing weight and he's sitting on his *kitten* wondering why all the guys are staring..... LOL! No- but seriously- I do all the grocery shopping in the house so that helps. I don't keep crappy unhealthy food in the house. If he cooks and it's something that I can't really have as much as I want- I double my veggies- or I'll just make my own. Maybe you could find some recipes that are similar to what he makes- make them for him- then say "HA! This is healthy!" !!! Most of all- good luck!!! It's not easy when hubby isn't on board!!
  • paxbfl
    paxbfl Posts: 391 Member
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    There was a thread about this yesterday! On that thread, I talked about how my wife motivated me... after seeing her get in great shape, I finally got off my butt and really started making the effort myself. I didn't want to be the "Fat Husband". You won't be able to talk him into it. Just do it for yourself and when you succeed, I predict he'll come around like I did.
  • mhaight85
    mhaight85 Posts: 68
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    Thanks! I didn't see the other thread about this topic (which is why I decided to post it...)

    When I do get to cook I try to make really healthy things, I just rarely get to since he cooks for an army and we end up with so many leftovers! Also, I work more than he does so he cooks more since he is home more. I guess I could just let him be upset and not eat the food he cooks.

    I started MFP with a goal of losing 25lbs and have already lost 10. :O) Hoping to be a good inspiration for him!
  • chulie
    chulie Posts: 282
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    I replied to the other thread but I'll reply here. If I were you....I'd set it down straight to your hubby....Tell him "THIS is my goal, if I don't eat your cookies or your pasta, do not be insulted because I am giving you fair warning that those do not mesh with my journey so understand that by you choosing to cook/bake those things, my response is always going to be the same "no thank you"....so next time you decide to bake...keep that in mind!" My husband didn't realize he was being a jerk when he brought home a giant bag of m&m's...he thought he was being sweet because I deserved a treat for being so awesome...I cannot be mad at that!!! As I said in my post. My husband does not control my mouth or drive. He has zero plans to lose weight .....that's fine by me....it doesn't mean that's MY goal...we are 2 different people and if I give in to his temptations.....I AM giving in and I have no one to blame but myself. I used to be full of excuses and I would find anyone I could who was always trying to "derail" me....I'm at the point where I am taking full responsibility for what I eat and how I exercise.....if I choose to have dessert it is not the waiters fault who brought two by accident, the restaurants fault for not having a healthy option or my friends fault because THEY wanted to go out for dinner.....it's MY choice what I put in my mouth and if you follow this thought...you can conquer anything!!!!! Good luck!!!! :)

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