Would an average man...

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TaraKathleen5
TaraKathleen5 Posts: 34 Member
in Motivation and Support
Really find your partner just as attractive as before their weight gain/ body change? I know i will never be the 120 pound girl my husband married. I feel like i have let him down. I am losing weight like a champ and doing great but i will never be what i was before 5 kids and stretchy skin. Anyway husbands, boyfriends how do you feel about it? Be honest please!

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  • diligentjosh
    diligentjosh Posts: 274
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    If you have boobs and use them, or have thighs and use them, then I don't nitpick too much. You see, when girls get it in their heads that they are not good looking, they do not feel like getting naked in front of the only one that sees them naked. That hurts the man's ego, and makes him unhappy. So I would say just make sure to give him some lovin, and "every little thing....is gonna be alright!"
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    Problem is you won't find an 'average man' - everyone is different.

    For me, I'm a hell of a lot more picky on looks BEFORE I get to know a girl.
    When I have, I may find myself physically attracted to them despite the fact previously they wouldn't have been in consideration.

    I also know plenty of men that prefer a 'fuller figure'.
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
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    He loves you! He married you! He has stayed with you! You need not worry, he has seen you at you best and worst.
  • weeto1
    weeto1 Posts: 16 Member
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    First off, hopefully you're losing weight for yourself and not your hubby. Whilst him having a positive view of you can be used as an additional motivation to lose weight, it shouldn't be the main one.

    I used to be more fickle about how people looked, until I met the love of my life and discovered the meaning of unconditional love. So I can meet or see someone and be really attracted to them, but once you get to know them, their personality becomes much more important and overrides any physical attraction. She could be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if she's a ***** I'm not attracted to her.

    That said, relationships have to be worked at, and part of that involves maintaining a physical / sexual attraction - for which both parties are responsible. In my experience, more women try to take care of their appearance for their partner than men do. You've changed and are doing something about it, which is great. Your husband's body won't be the same as when you first met.

    Age will change you both, and time will present you with more challenges to face together. It's the love you share that will get you through them, not how you look.

    You've given him your youth, 5 children and lots of love and attention, for which he should love you despite any physical changes.
  • ErinGBragh
    ErinGBragh Posts: 183 Member
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    Confidence is the biggest turn on, no matter what you look like. When I was single and in college and overweight, I didn't have confidence. But then I decided to start acting confident and it worked like a charm! I was still the same weight, but guys started talking to me and that's how I ended up with my husband.

    After we were married I started feeling bad about myself again due to my weight and my husband, who loves me unconditionally, told our friend that his greatest wish in life was that I "would come to love myself". Wow, that was huge to me and it made me realize that my weight is MY thing, not his. So now I am losing weight for myself.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    He married you so that is a good sign. If he still gets sex (assuming he does with 5 kids) then you are good.
  • taekwonkenpo
    taekwonkenpo Posts: 1,004
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    Taking care of yourself physicilly is a sign of respect for your husband. ( and vice versa) You should not do it for him, but keep in mind that it does not hurt.
    Your man should not really mind. He should love you regardless. But as has already been said one of my biggest concerns with this topic is a lack of self confidence. You should already know you are pretty. No one looks like a teenager forever. Be confident in yourself.
  • newmooon56
    newmooon56 Posts: 347 Member
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    I feel ya- but heck- none of us are gonna be young hotties in about 40 years- so what then?

    As for now - confidence is key - being the girl INSIDE that he married- and doing your best to reverse the unhealthy life style you fell into ( I assume this due to the need to lose weight)

    I think the "average" man would say they like REAL women - not some airbrushed made up version. Pretty to look at? Yes even I like to look at pretty pics - but not real and honestly - not something to strive for either.

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