Self Sabotage.

Oh baby.



:explode:

I'm sure the quitting is making everything feel more dramatic, unconquorable, etc than it has to be. That is to be expected. Stick in there.

The weight is not FAT, it is just your body adjusting. It will come off as easily as it goes on. Just make sure you arent' substituting unhealthy foods for an unhealthy habit and you will be ok. Find munchies that you enjoy. Raw apples? Celery? frozen grapes? something that, while it has calories, is also not a "bad" food.

Exercise! Whenever you feel realy down, tell yourself you will go out and walk/run for 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes. Promise yourself that that is all you HAVE to do. Once you are out there, you can choose to go longer, but if you are still miserable after 5 min, allow yourself to stop . When I talk myself into "just 5 or 10 minutes". I end up going 30 and feel so much better in the end.

AS for the relationship. Only you can decide that. If you are near your period starting, be wary. When I started dieting (and esp. now that you're quitting smoking) I became really premenstrual. I had never been so before, but the last 3-4 mo I notice that I'm terribly unsatisfied with EVERYTHING in life the 3 or 4 days before my period. That includes my boyfriend. Who... the other 27 days of the month, I'm MADLY in love with. So... be careful of hormones.

However, if you have real issues, then of course, this will be a trying time.

Look for an apartment! When I moved out of my house in my divorce, I was able to find a duplex and move in in the period of 3 days. it isn't impossible... but you have a WHOLE MONTH, so start looking. that will give you more flexibility.

Online school and new job seem to go together, so you can work toward both of those things by gettnig the computer you need. Do you have the money? I got mine from Dell, even though my father owns a computer store, and my brother managed the store. My brother just couldnt' get me as good of a deal as Dell could. Check them out.

and lastly

Big Hugs. and DON'T HAVE A CIGARETTE!

Sounds like your having a really bad day... First of all... if you haven' t found any where to move yet and your not sure if this relationship is what you want anymore, that sounds like a blessing in disguise. Second, quitting smoking is soooooo hard. I've ttried a million times and always fail miserable. Imagine how much better your lungs look right now then they did before. I don't have any magic words for that one since I can't seem to beat that demon myself.
If your living on a "rocky relationship" everything else seems to follow suit. Here's a motivator. Just incase you don't want this one. How great would it be to be smokin hot and down to a good "hunting weight"? High confidence, feeling great, looking great, and most importantly knowing EXACTLY what you don't want next time. Try to find some positive things out of all this mess. Everything Ends... Just wait it out and for GOD SAKES WOMAN!!! DON'T SMOKE THE STINK BOMBS!!!

I'm sorry, chica.

I've had my share of days (weeks? months?) like that over the past few years, too. It all turned out ok in the end. Well... ok... that's a lie. I still disdain my job, we are still strapped for cash, I'm still stuck in this stupid city, I still don't have any new friends, and we also are facing potential homelessness next month, but...

somehow it's ok. Take each problem one step at a time and try to convince yourself that none of these potential disasters are really going to turn out that way. It's the WORRYING that kills us.