Anyone else battle the 'I will never get there' fear?

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pouncepet
pouncepet Posts: 72 Member
in Motivation and Support
Im about 35 pounds away from my ultimate goal weight (I say about because its more than just weight, I have a body fat% I am aiming for) and am currently going through alot of self doubt.

I have never been slim. I dont know what it looks like or feels like. I am 10 pounds from once again being the lightest I've ever been as an 'adult' (I was 154-155lbs about 7-8 years ago).

For whatever reason, even though I know as long as I continue eating well and exercising my body will reduce the excess pounds - a huge part of me is convinced I wont get past 155 lbs no matter how 'good' I am or how extreme I push myself. I am struggling to believe and trust that my body will cooperate and shed the final 25 pounds.

Some days I actually feel like crying at the possibility of always having to be overweight and seriously consider liposuction. Horrible I know. The multitude of success stories here and other sites (Thank God for the internet) help but despite the 'If they can do it so can I!' pep talks I regularly give myself, it is still a struggle to believe I will ever get there.

Please tell me I am not the only one..

Replies

  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
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    It's not about the destination, it's the journey that matters. What you learn and experience, the trials & tribulations, sweat & tears, smiles & pats on the back, all the NSVs you'll have and so much more. Don't think about the end. Put yourself on auto pilot and just stick to your plan. You'll get "there" eventually. In the meantime, enjoy life.
  • missabeez
    missabeez Posts: 280 Member
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    I have very similar feelings! When I was a kid I was pretty thin and unshapely, and then suddenly, when I was 11, I just sort of ballooned outwards. My weight stayed about the same, maybe I gained ten pounds between then and high school, and I was sitting at 165 for the longest time (5'3.5"). I went down to 150lbs after I got back from a vacation and found myself above 170lbs. But that was it. There was no way I could weigh less than that I thought - big boned, etc, etc.

    Now, this time around, it was the 180lbs mark that shook me out of my unhealthy ways. This time, I am determined to pass the 150lb mark, and reach 130lbs. That being said, I do feel strange thinking about what I may look like at that weight. I can not even imagine it, and I constantly wonder if my body with keep losing. I sort of fear that even thought I am doing what I am supposed to do to lose weight, that for some reason, I will hop on the scale each week with a higher number. It has not happened yet in the month since I started this for good again, but I still wonder if it will happen. I will try to keep faith and hope that this will work out for me, and for everyone else that has a hard time envisioning their goals :)

    I guess my other fear is that I will give up on counting calories, get bored of it, you know? I think that is more of a fear, really. I know I am so motivated to stick to it for life, but I was this way a few years ago....and could only stick to the healthy for a year. I hope this time will be different. I know my nutrition. I have become faster at putting my meals in. I have a stronger friend list. I have joined challenges. I have never been a quitter, so why think for a minute that I would quit at one of the most important self-esteem healings I could ever give to myself??
  • pouncepet
    pouncepet Posts: 72 Member
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    Thanks guys. The support and sharing is much appreciated.

    @clairdelune37 - Am a very average 5'5. I know liposuction is a stupid idea - If I struggle another 20 years with stubborn fat after good diet and weight training and exercise then it may be a serious idea but it is just something my mind goes to when I feel like a fat blob of gross.

    And yeah it is very exciting to imagine getting there! It would feel amazing and I would feel like anything is possible! I love dancing and until I lose enough weight I am too heavy to learn lifts and tricks (poor partner would break their back). Thats my goal reward - go for a dance class (latin, salsa, swing) and enroll in a lifts and tricks course.
  • Rosa1213
    Rosa1213 Posts: 456 Member
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    I absolutely know what you mean. I've actually gained 1.5 lbs in the past month or so, due to poor eating choices and no time to go to the gym, but every single day, I wake up in the morning and tell myself that it's a new day, that I'm going to be healthy today.

    I still want to lose another 15-20 lbs, and although I've lose 30 so far, I feel like I'm never going to get there, no matter what I do. I just get so discouraged by looking in the mirror and seeing all my fat. But then I remind myself of how far I've come, and I just need so push a little more, work a little harder.

    We can do this. I know it sometimes feels like we can't, and sometimes we have setbacks, but we just have to keep pushing.
  • heidimaggott78
    heidimaggott78 Posts: 203
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    You are not alone. I sometimes feel that I will never crack the 180lb pound mark. I am only 2lbs away from 180 and have recently started a strength programme so I know why the scale is standing still, and yet I still worry...
  • pouncepet
    pouncepet Posts: 72 Member
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    why think for a minute that I would quit at one of the most important self-esteem healings I could ever give to myself??

    This! When I argue or lecture myself this comes up! I feel good, I feel confident, I know that I am taking great strides to ensuring a life worth living - why would I rob myself of that by becoming lazy and eating crap again? I think there is alot of needing to trust myself and my body more than I do.. After all, Ive veeeeery slowly but surely lost more than 65 pounds over the last 5 years. The next 5 years will pass and within that time span I know I will reach goal, I just have to trust myself, not the whispering doubts.
  • pouncepet
    pouncepet Posts: 72 Member
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    I absolutely know what you mean. I've actually gained 1.5 lbs in the past month or so, due to poor eating choices and no time to go to the gym, but every single day, I wake up in the morning and tell myself that it's a new day, that I'm going to be healthy today.

    I still want to lose another 15-20 lbs, and although I've lose 30 so far, I feel like I'm never going to get there, no matter what I do. I just get so discouraged by looking in the mirror and seeing all my fat. But then I remind myself of how far I've come, and I just need so push a little more, work a little harder.

    We can do this. I know it sometimes feels like we can't, and sometimes we have setbacks, but we just have to keep pushing.
    You are not alone. I sometimes feel that I will never crack the 180lb pound mark. I am only 2lbs away from 180 and have recently started a strength programme so I know why the scale is standing still, and yet I still worry...

    Thanks for sharing ladies! It is good to know I am not the only one suffering from these self-doubts! *hugs* We can do it though :-) Such great support here to help us through.
  • Smokey19
    Smokey19 Posts: 796 Member
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    You are not the only one. I am the lowest wt. than I have been in many yrs. My goal is to lose another 50 lbs. but my self talk has kept me from getting below 200 lbs. I know in my heart that I can do it but self doubt keeps creeping in and telling me other wise. We have to just keep doing what we're doing and watching what we eat and working out and we will be able to do this. Please feel free to add me for support and encouragement.
  • Alissat
    Alissat Posts: 4 Member
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    Definitely understand. I've been seeking my ideal weight for over 2 1/2 years now, the last 5 months of which have been completely frustrating due to not seeing any change on the scale. I've lost 120lbs now but thought I had another 35lbs I needed to lose in order to reach the healthy weight for my height according to all those charts out there. Even thought I hadn't seen any change on the scale, I did lose another pants size and my measurements were decreasing but I was getting really frustrated with not seeing the numbers drop on the scale like I've been accustomed to the last several years counting calories strictly/daily.

    I decided to go have hydrostatic body composition testing done and it was an amazing experience! I highly recommend it to everyone out there. The test is about $50 for your first test and $35 for re-tests. I'm in Southern California and there is a company that has a few trucks in the area that have the dunk tank. You basically go underwater and exhale all your air out and they gather data and give you a print out of your actual stats. Come to find out, I had 23lbs more lean body mass than any chart could tell me! Rather than 35lbs I thought I had left to lose, I only have 7lbs to get to the healthy weight and just 14lbs to reach the athletic range of 18%BF.

    With what I see that I still need to improve on (I'm still really thick in the middle), I really thought I had so much more to lose, but evidently 7lbs makes a HUGE difference when you get close to your goal. It has given me so much more hope that I'm closer than I thought to a healthy weight! It seems like it has taken forever but I can see that my goal is within reach. Maybe you just have a lot more muscle than you think too! I'm really shooting for a body fat percentage over a weight, so I'm happily scrapping my original goal weight I thought I needed to achieve (which I'd pretty much be dead according to their charts) for a truly healthy one that matches my lean body mass plus the 18%BF. By the way, you and I are the same height and nearly the same weight!!! You might want to consider having the test, it is so enlightening. I'd be happy to share my results with you if you'd like. :)
  • misslindseylou
    misslindseylou Posts: 141 Member
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    I feel like that right now. I started out at 400 pounds and I've been on MFP for three months now, and I've only lost 25 pounds since then. I feel like no matter how hard I work out and even if I eat well everyday, I'll never get under 300 pounds, let alone 200. But I know if I keep trying, at least I'll get healthier and feel better about myself.
  • Cant0na
    Cant0na Posts: 34
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    I started at a BMI of 33 and had a target BMI of 24.

    Well I reached BMI of 27 a few weeks a go with 16% body fat , I looked at myself in the mirror and my tummy was pretty flat my face looked thin.
    I was happy with what I saw and thought to myself, you don't need to go any further. In fact I think if I do go any further, I would be less happy with my look.
    I suppose what I am saying is that the target you set at the begining of your journey is just a best guess, keep re-evaluating, celebrate your successes and love the skin your in.

    All the beat
  • MysticRealm
    MysticRealm Posts: 1,264 Member
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    Yes I worry about this. Not so much that I won't make it there while eating well and exercising but that I will fall off the wagon! The last time I really lost weight I lost 26 of the 40 pounds I wanted to lose. I remember thinking then hey, only 16 pounds to go, that's not much at all, I can totally do it!! Then I fell off the wagon and nearly gained it ALL back. I was within 3 pounds of my heaviest!
    I am now at about 18-19 pounds down and can't wait to pass by my lightest weight (lightest since I gained weight after high school). But I am very scared I will fall back off the wagon and gain it back. I have had a few bad days, and I have fought hard to get myself back on track after each one, but I worry about the next time I might have a bad day. Arg!

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