exercise doesn't mean you can eat crap, help!

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ParkerH47
ParkerH47 Posts: 463 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Well, my boyfriend and I are both trying to lose weight. He has been going for about a 5k walk, 5 nights a week. Which is really great for him and a lot more than he was doing before. But I've noticed since then he's really let his eating habits go. And while he has lost some weight, it has slowed significantly, I tried being gentle about it and saying just because he's going for walks doesn't mean he can eat crap again. But it didn't seem to sink in, I dont know how to get him more motivated about eating well, with out hurting his feelings or demoralizing him. Any advice?

P.S he is not on this site, which I think would be great if he did, but he doesn't seem to have an interest in it, and I think it should be something he does on his own with out me pushing hard for it, otherwise he wont be committed to doing it each day.

Replies

  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    What he's doing in no way affects your weight loss.




    If he wants to do it, he will.
  • WaxMama
    WaxMama Posts: 369 Member
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    That last part is exactly right. If he's not motivated, it's not going to happen. I'm in a similar situation (except he doesn't really need to lose weight- maybe 10 lbs- but he wants to build muscle)... he was running with me when I'd go and now he's stopped all together. And he eats like crap. I'm hoping as I slim down, it will motivate him more. Do you do the shopping/cooking? My hubby will eat anything for lunch, so I've been packing them so he won't eat out. And I've got him to drink water instead of soda... but that's only because he won't go shopping for it :smile: good luck!
  • ParkerH47
    ParkerH47 Posts: 463 Member
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    Its hard because I dont buy his food, but he is quite over weight, and wants to lose it. I think I would have been better off asking, "whats the best way to explain this to someone" I just want to know how I should tell him that if he doesn't start eating better, he wont see the weight coming off anymore. Ya know?
  • katiefridley
    katiefridley Posts: 151 Member
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    Set an example. Cook healthfully. Don't nag him or try to be a mother. He will only resent you.
  • daphnemoon
    daphnemoon Posts: 216 Member
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    I honestly think this is one of those things that he'll just have to discover for himself.

    I lost count of the times I read things like 'abs are made in the kitchen', 'you can't out-exercise a bad diet' etc. and not really believed them (or didn't want to believe them since I find it a lot easier to exercise than to be disciplined with healthy eating).
    I continued to ignore such messages for ages but it was only that I did a bet to go without eating cakes, sweets, biscuits and coke, and lost 6 pounds in the process did it start to kick in. The exercise wasn't really affecting my results, but the eating did in a BIG way. Now I have switched the way I think about eating and exercise.

    I know people that are the same, but I honestly don't think that anything you can say will change his mind. With me before it would have been like talking to a brick wall. He has to discover it for himself. If he wants to get healthier and suddenly finds his weight loss is stalling and he is frustrated about that, maybe then he will start to look at other areas for improvement.

    Good luck!!!!
  • purple_tux1
    purple_tux1 Posts: 250 Member
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    Sometimes we women get the idea we can micro-manage our man's life. Or make him our personal project. Please try to resist the temptation.

    It's his body, he's an adult. Try to focus on your own weight loss.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
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    If he's still at a caloric deficit, he'll still lose weight regardless of what he's eating. His macros may not be consistent with his goals (e.g., insufficient protein intake makes it even more difficult to build muscle, which is already next to impossible in a caloric deficit), but if we're speaking purely of weight loss, "clean eating" (which means very different things to different people anyway) isn't a requirement.
  • AncientLullaby_
    AncientLullaby_ Posts: 119
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    started eating crap with my exercise and thats how I gained the 10lbs back.. so no thank you just onceeeeeeeeeee in a while eating crap wont hurt
  • 78Octane
    78Octane Posts: 68
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    What Anvil said above is spot on. As long as you are in a caloric deficit, you will lose weight. No matter what you eat.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
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    started eating crap with my exercise and thats how I gained the 10lbs back.. so no thank you just onceeeeeeeeeee in a while eating crap wont hurt
    You can't gain weight if you're in a deficit. You gained the 10lbs back because you consumed more than you burned.

    Exercise means you can eat whatever you want. From a weight loss perspective it doesn't matter.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
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    Wiait what? I have been exercising and eating crap, and I injured my back a few weeks ago and I haven't worked out. Yet i am still eating crap and I am losing weight.

    I guess I am an exception, i eat crap with or with out exercise and i still lose weight. Wish someone would have told me sooner before i broke the rules.

    You have been a bad boy and must be punished.
  • redraidergirl2009
    redraidergirl2009 Posts: 2,560 Member
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    I take it that you do not live together, so I'd offer to cook him dinner a couple of nights a week so he sees what healthy food looks like. My boyfriend is the same way, he's not super obese but gain some weight so I cooked for him a few times things that were healthy and he makes them himself now.
  • kandilynn03
    kandilynn03 Posts: 110 Member
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    Do what YOU have to do for yourself. Don't put pressure on him to make changes. If he sees you succeeding he might be motivated to make changes himself, but you can't make the changes for him.

    I've gone on multiple diets trying to lose weight, and most of the time I had someone 'helping' me by telling me what to do. Since I wasn't seeking the information on my own, it mostly just hurt my feelings. This time, I sought out information about nutrition and fitness, I made the decisions for myself without taking 'advice' from anyone, and it just clicked for me. I figured out how to tell what my BMR was and how to calculate my TDEE and figured out how to put that information together to determine how much I should eat in a day. It helped me realize that yes, I could have a liter of soda, OR I could eat a bunch of more filling stuff.

    My point is, if he's exercising and improving his overall fitness, that's great. Trying to push him to do something he's not ready or willing to do could make him want to give up all together.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    Guys love to be asked for help. So start a conversation with him, but phrasing it in such a way that it sounds like you need his assistance.

    something like "I need you to help me figure something out. I keep reading things like - you can't out-train a bad diet, or weight loss is 90% nutrition and only 10% exercise - what do you think? How can I make sure this works for me?"
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    ^smart woman!

    It might be a good idea to calculate how much he burns on his walks and show him. Some people don't realize that you actually don't burn that much while exercising, and that your hard work can be very easily reversed by an extra snack.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    Eating 'crap' doesn't make you put on weight. Eating more calories than you burn makes you put on weight.

    I eat 'crap' every day. I make sure I get my 5 a day (often more) on most days, and a reasonable amount of protein as I'm weight lifting, and the rest of my calories are used to eat whatever I fancy at the time.

    People rave a lot about 'eating clean', and yes, while it has it's health benefits, it's not for everyone. In my opinion your partner is making an effort in that he's exercising. If he wants to change his diet as well, then he will. From previous experience the more you try and pressurize a man into doing something the less likely he is to. It's his choice.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Is he eating LESS crap, though? He needs to start somewhere.

    As far as weight loss slowing, though, that's perfectly normal.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    Why not wait until his progress has stopped and not just slowed?

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