Been here for a year ... and feel ....

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Pamela_June
Pamela_June Posts: 341 Member
in Motivation and Support
...well I feel like I have wasted so much good advice, so much wonderful support.

I have made no headway - I have lost no weight - I have, so many times, lost my desire, my happiness, I am just lost in a world of knowing I need to take care of myself. It has been the hardest year in so many ways....

I am also so very embarrased and tired of whining and complaining and not being able to take control and be strong. I am just a mess........

Ok- another self-pity moment has taken over, and has passed....AGAIN I will tell myself 'this, over eating no exercise, is something I can control of, this is really something I do have sole control over.... so I must do it, I must. I can, I will.
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Replies

  • derekj222
    derekj222 Posts: 370 Member
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    So what are you going to change this time to make it work?
  • deb3129
    deb3129 Posts: 1,294 Member
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    Yes,you are the only one who can control it. Start today, and take baby steps. Make a few better choices, drink a little more water, move more. Over time the little changes add up, and they become habit. You can do this!!!
  • literatelier
    literatelier Posts: 209 Member
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    Make a plan - and write it down! What is your first step?
  • 4Phoenix
    4Phoenix Posts: 236 Member
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    Yes, you must, you can, and you will if you make the right choices. Decide that you will start right now....not later....and stop wasting time on past failures. I think Michel Jordan said "if I had not failed so many times, I would not have succeeded".
  • nashbear
    nashbear Posts: 131 Member
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    Ok. So what does motivate you? Why are you here? What are you trying to accomplish? Trying not to have a heart attack? Are you trying to LGN (look good naked) Figure out what you want and then make a plan. Is your goal too far out, too much. Try a smaller goal. Or something that is not weight based. Try a sport or race. My goal is to fit comfortably in a roller coaster seat. Next May I am riding every single ride at Six Flags. Not weight based at all.
  • TinaBean007
    TinaBean007 Posts: 273 Member
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    So, what's going to be different this time next year?
  • Jaymefirst
    Jaymefirst Posts: 268 Member
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    Yes,you are the only one who can control it. Start today, and take baby steps. Make a few better choices, drink a little more water, move more. Over time the little changes add up, and they become habit. You can do this!!!


    Well said ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Deb3129
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Figure out some goals first then take baby steps to achieve them. You can do this, but you must have the willpower of a fighter!!!!!!!!!!
  • frando
    frando Posts: 583 Member
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    Having a flick over your diary I'd say stick to your calorie goal and make it over 1200 every day.

    Being honest with yourself is hard but it's how you make head way, I'm afraid.

    Try planning ahead as well, for example, if you know what you're going to be eating the day (or even week) before, plot that into MFP. That way you know what it's going to add up to so you can add or take away anything to keep to your goal. If you're not using a HRM to monitor your exercise you may want to only eat half of them back, I find that MFP (and even the machines) may give you overly optimistic read outs.

    I'm sure you can do it!
  • noriri
    noriri Posts: 74 Member
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    Truly, you are not all that different from most people that have had this battle, including myself. You really shouldn't give up on yourself. You are the only person that you can truly depend on. Sooner or later, something is going to click and you will get a handle on it. My advise? Take small definitive steps and you will be less likely to fail. Stop trying to change everything over night. Just like 12 step programs teach, "one day at a time". Do just that! If that is unrealistic, strive to eat one balanced meal per day. Weigh & Measure, record the information. Do that until you feel you can or want to do more. Small goals are critical. This just might be the day that you turn the corner. Best wishes to your success and happiness.
  • chrishg
    chrishg Posts: 35 Member
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    I'd been in your situation for years....never really committing and always saying" I really should" or "tomorrow I will".

    At the beginning of this I got 2 good simple pieces of advice - one for eating and one for exercise.

    1] Eating.
    List EVERYTHING you eat and DO NOT go over your daily allowance tailored for weight loss. MFP makes that simple.
    My friend suggested that consistently cheating meant that you didn't want it enough and failure was inevitible....harsh but probably true.

    2] Exercise.
    I complained that I didn't have time for exercise. My friend asked me if I had showered and brushed my teeth that morning. I said yes, of course. Well exercise needs to become just like that. An essential part of your day that you just can't conceive of skipping. And they were right - and I did have time after all! And now I love it.

    Work out if you want to do this....really. And if you do, agree to take no prisoners and dedicate yourself to the challenge. Only then will it work for you. It's all about self belief I think.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
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    When you are truly ready, you will.
  • PatriceMG
    PatriceMG Posts: 232 Member
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    log, log, log. Everything you put in your mouth. That makes you accountable and you will begin to see what's happening. Make one small change at a time. When you see you can do that you will become motivated to do more. It takes time and dedicatioin, but seeing just one small change makes you want to do another one, and another one. Pretty soon you've got it! Good luck!
  • 4Phoenix
    4Phoenix Posts: 236 Member
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    whoops...posted twice
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
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    Believe me, I know how hard this is. It's not like you can just stop eating (like an alcoholic could stop drinking). Food will always be a part of our lives. If you find it overwhelming to make changes, try doing one thing at a time. Like, this week up your water intake. Next week, cut out fast food. You need to find some way to sustain the changes you make otherwise it's not going to work. Good luck!
  • Seaglass1123
    Seaglass1123 Posts: 500 Member
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    When you are truly ready, you will.

    This. Good Luck!
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Worst thing you can do is wallow about it. Time to find some incentive. It's easy to be the hound-dog lying on the nail bellowing because it hurts...it's when it hurts enough that action will be taken to get off the nail.

    My moment was when I went to Moms & Muffins day with my daughter and I could hardly get to the front door. When I did, I had to sit down and catch my breath. I was the only mom there in that bad of shape, and I was embarrassed and humiliated, mortified that my daughter had to wait for me to catch my breath because I was in that bad of shape. It was then I decided that something had to change, and it was going to have to start with me.

    Like others have said, what are you willing to do now, today, to help you get to where you want to be tomorrow?
  • OddballExtreme
    OddballExtreme Posts: 296 Member
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    Before I was diagnosed with the Type 2 diabetes, I didn't really care. When I got it, though, instead of getting upset or angry, I just said, "Doc, what do I need to do?" I knew I was going to have to make hard changes and give up some things that I loved (particularly those Hershey's Cookies N' Cream shakes). It's VERY hard at first, but like everyone said, go for baby steps. Here's some advice I've given to one of my friends today.

    It's important to do this FOR YOURSELF, not for anyone else. Your weight loss journey is YOURS, not theirs. Listen to YOURSELF and your heart, not anybody else's words. You've got support here, and you always will. I promise you WILL succeed, but nobody will believe in you unless you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF first.

    Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP, DON'T EVER GIVE UP. (My all time favorite phrase from the late Jim Valvano!)
  • Angie_1991
    Angie_1991 Posts: 447 Member
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    You have to be ready mentally. You can't sit and feel sorry for yourself...you have to just do it. I've done it several times and this time I've kept the weight off over 2 years...I just have a few I need to lose...you can do this! It is a lifestyle change though, not a diet...it has to be forever.

    You will feel so much better....and will enjoy life more! This is a great place for support...these people are wonderful!

    Again!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! Be ready mentally! Ready...set........go!!!!!!!
  • Rum_Runner
    Rum_Runner Posts: 617 Member
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    Stop talking about making a change and actually do something about it!! If you are not ready to take control mentally you will continue to sabatage your success!! You are worth the hard work, you are worth the sweat, you are worth the change!!!

    You have to want it emotionally, mentally and physically!! Once you start to see the changes it will fuel you to keep going. Don't give up - remember why you sat down and started this account in the first place...use that as the fire to light your path....you will succeed

    Stop making excused, make better choices and get up and do something!

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