The war I'm waging....in my head

kimpossible471
kimpossible471 Posts: 268 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've hit the part in this journey where I've had some awesome successes....lost over 50lbs to bring me within 20lbs of goal, became a runner, can shop in my favorite stores again and have changed my life in a million little ways. I have goals, and a pretty good idea at this point how to achieve them.

What is frustrating the crap out of me is that even though I know what needs to be done, it's like I'm waging a constant battle with myself. I have learned that I need a program to follow, or I definitely won't push myself consistently. Now - I'm fighting myself just to stay on track with a program I already know I can do. Example:

I had gotten a little off track with the running, and was struggling a little bit - so I decided to drop back to week 6 of couch to 5k, and do the last few weeks faster than the first time through - to build up my abilities a little bit before moving forward with bridge to 10k. Today was week 7 day 3 - which is a 5 min warmup, 25 min jog/run and 5 min cooldown. Something I've done twice already this week...I've already run 2 5k's....I KNOW I can do this. I'm out of town for work, so at 5AM I head down to the hotel fitness room and get on the dreadmill. I get about 1/4 mile into the run and the battle begins. These are the thoughts that run through my head throughout the workout "my knee feels funny...it's not pain, keep going....it's really hot in here, I don't think I can do this....yes you can....if I stop after (insert distance here) that will be good enough....what are you doing, it's only 25 minutes, you can do this....I'm overheating....yes, dummy, you're running, you're suppose to be sweating....maybe I should just walk a minute after the first 10....really? You ran 25 minutes 2 days ago, why are you slacking today....maybe I'll just run until I hit 2 miles.....seriously?, it is less than 2.5 if you do the whole 25, why sell yourself short....maybe running the day after flying is just too hard....and so on"

This rediculous conversation in my head literally goes on the ENTIRE 25 minutes. Which I completed....but I fought myself the whole way. I'd like to do a 10K in the spring and a super sprint triathalon next fall. Training for them is going to be TORTURE if I have to wage this war the entire time.

What have you done to overcome the sabatoge coming from within???

*edited for grammar*
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Replies

  • msshiraz
    msshiraz Posts: 327 Member
    I'd recommend taking some time off from what you are doing and do another form of fitness. Now if you are training and that doens't seem ideal, can you add in something different? Maybe take a fitness class. What about a workout buddy to come with you?

    It sounds like you are dealing with a bit of burn out, and you should make some changes for yourself. Can you shorten your run time to 15 minutes for a week and add in something else? Or- do you do better running outside than on the "dreadmill" (loving that by the way!!!).
  • Sindaelys
    Sindaelys Posts: 37 Member
    You sound like me on coffee, around the holidays. Coincidentally, it IS that time of the year! Did this set in some time after Halloween, by any chance? If so, I'd highly recommend adding in some sort of relaxation activity; meditation, tai-chi, yoga... Something with spa music in the background and that makes you focus on your breathing. Heck, just listen to spa music all day! :laugh:

    If that's not the problem, I second mixing up your workout a little bit. If you know of a different cardio activity that you like you can probably substitute that in for a little bit until you're not burnt out.
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
    Just. Keep. Going.

    Maybe it is time to get some new tunes on your running play list or a new running tank. Find something that will make it a little new. We all have those inner battles. The key is to find the inner strength to push through it. Find them fightin words that kick that inner negative thought out of your head and push forward. And when you are telling yourself "just x more miles or x more minutes..." then take that number and add to it by a quarter mile or 5 more minutes...When you finish...you will be so happy you did it.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Time to get your fitness from PLAYING for awhile :flowerforyou:
  • rainbowbutton
    rainbowbutton Posts: 4 Member
    First of all congratulations for completing the 25mins!! Sounds like a real battle!

    I'm not much further along with my running, started a couple of months ago and built up to 5k. I can now run 10k, really slowly, but I can do it! The ONLY reason I was able to increase my distance was I started running with other people in a local running club. My first time out with them I was really nervous, I didn't want to hold them back and was afraid I would have to stop and walk, but they were really understanding and supportive and after I warmed up I hardly noticed the time/distance. The distraction of listening to them chatting and trying to pant out a few responses was enough to move me on past my initial 5k distance without me even realising!!

    So I guess my advice is look out for local running clubs/groups. Apart from that, when I run alone I always make sure its somewhere pretty like a forest park, the surroundings and views are another great distraction!

    Hope this helps and good luck!
  • Lasityttö
    Lasityttö Posts: 79 Member
    For me there are good days and bad days in running. One day I struggle to run even for ten minutes, another day I run 10k with ease. I've noticed this does have something to do with how I've eaten the day before. If I haven't eaten that much or not very nutritious food, it's harder to run. Try listening to radio, so you can focus on that instead of your thoughts. Also, I always run outside. Changing view and air that doesn't stand still makes running a lot easier.
  • salcha76
    salcha76 Posts: 287 Member
    Our biggest enemy is ourselves. I am reading an book called Awareness by De Mello and signed up for the secret scrolls emails....it's all about how we think & program our heads....if you send out 100% good energy you will get it in return....if you doubt yourself into failing, you will fail. If you visualize a new time or crossing the finish line....you will/can believe in yourself & conquer the world:)
  • Squidgeypaws007
    Squidgeypaws007 Posts: 1,012 Member
    Time to get your fitness from PLAYING for awhile :flowerforyou:

    Agree - this happens when I get tired of a certain programme. Change it up, do something else for a little bit and go back to the running :) you'll still be able to do it!!
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    My constant battle can be drowned out with dance music: Lady Gaga, Rammstein (sp?), Chemical Brothers, anything loud and pounding. I turn it up and focus on the music and a spot on the wall, and after about 5-10 minutes, I hit that zone where it is almost like meditation. When I get towards the end, I'll look at the clock for example 25 min...oh well only a little more until this song is over...a little more until 30 minutes...ooh I love this song...before I know it I have hit 45 minutes.
  • LittleBallofFurr
    LittleBallofFurr Posts: 242 Member
    I have done this!! I started listening to music as I run. The second any thoughts come, i turn the music up and sing along in my head, or match my pace to the beat. It works for me, good luck to you...you CAN do it :)
  • barefootbeauty
    barefootbeauty Posts: 188 Member
    You control your mind. Change your thoughts. Come up with a list of good things you can combat the negative things with and try to tune your mind into them instead: "This is really tightening my butt"... "I will look so good in my jeans today."..."I'm going to feel so good after this." ...."I love how sweaty I'm getting.".... Imagine yourself running across the finish line at the race. If you can re-train your mind to focus on the positive, that might help.
  • linusr
    linusr Posts: 38 Member
    The important thing is that you kept running, despite the argument in your head. That's what matters, and that’s where you draw strength going forward. You were on a treadmill, and you could have stopped any time you wanted to. It’s not like when you’re outdoors; if you quit outside, you still have to get back to the starting point, so quitting is harder. You kept going, so you kept your commitment to yourself.
    If you’re really worried about losing your internal argument, do all your running outside.
  • sammniamii
    sammniamii Posts: 669 Member
    1) MUSIC. Get out the cell/iphone/mp3 player and load it will fast tempo music. Pick song you love, songs that you will find yourself singing along too no matter where you are.
    2) Watch TV if you are trapped on the dreamill, or read something (nook/kindle/ipad). Something to distract.
    3) COVER the numbers on the treadmill. I swear that min timer is the WORST thing to have displayed on the damn machines. If you have a smart phone, get one of the C25K apps that will prompt you when it's time to change.
    4) Offer to reward yourself for your hard work. Say.... go home and enjoy a hot bath/shower/soak. Go watch a movie later. Play some video games. Go window shopping for clothes you want to be able to fit in.

    My brain does the same evil talks while I'm in the gym, doing my thing. Some days it takes everything I have to stay put and do my time. But, don't quit.... I've gotten to the point where I've been sick going on 3 weeks - no gym time. I MISS EXERCISING!

    This is something I've NEVER... EVER said in my life before.
  • jnh17
    jnh17 Posts: 838 Member
    Um...you are not alone. Everyday I joke about the "epic battle" going on in my head about working out. "Don't do it, you can skip." "Do it ya fatty. Tday's coming!" Everyday. EVERYDAY!!!!!!

    I know that I have to beat myself mentally so I plan for that. It's one reason I workout on my lunch break. There is nothing the "bad angel" on my shoulder can come up with to talk me out of it. What are my other options during my lunch break - 1. go out to eat which means spending money, tons of cals, and tons of guilt 2. shop. Sometimes, I don't feel like it and it can be expensive when done EVERYDAY and 3. work through lunch. Hell to tha no.

    You just gotta figure out how to beat the bad angel.
  • 4Phoenix
    4Phoenix Posts: 236 Member
    I have this battle every time I work out and every time I complete a marathon/tri....I thought it was normal! The payoff is afterwards, but I always have the "head talk".....that is one of the reasons I use music a lot when I train.
  • firemanfive0
    firemanfive0 Posts: 228 Member
    Your mind, as all of ours are, selfish POS's.....it will try and derail you from reaching your goal and then when you do succeed it will want to take the credit. I dont have any real good suggestions to overcome it but others above have some good ones.
  • paxbfl
    paxbfl Posts: 391 Member
    I have this battle every time I work out and every time I complete a marathon/tri....I thought it was normal! The payoff is afterwards, but I always have the "head talk".....that is one of the reasons I use music a lot when I train.

    I like this answer... just turn the music up to drown out the "voices" in your head! :)

    One other thing... take real joy, pleasure and satisfaction from the fact that you WON the battle today. I get angry at those voices because I know they are the ones that lead me to the couch and the box of donuts (yum).

    Those voices do not represent who I am or who I want to be, and I will not listen to them. I fought the same battle as you today, completed my run (interval workout on the treadmill) and walked away very satisfied. I even ran extra hard as if to say, "Take THAT, voices!"
  • sss1966
    sss1966 Posts: 110 Member
    I always have those conversations in my head when using the treadmilk. I believe its because its so easy to stop and flop on the sofa. I never have the same trouble when sounding the streets as i have no option but to keep going!
  • jbullock69
    jbullock69 Posts: 1
    I completely understand what you are going through. I have been running for a year and a half and completed my first half-marathon a month ago. Even though I have conquered these distances I still have this battle in my head. When I set out for a short 3 or 5k run I find I constantly have to push to keep going. The first thing I would do is stay away from the tredmill. Tredmills are terrible run-joy killing machines. I know its hard to run outside in a strange city but outdoor running is much much better. I always find that when I run outside and I feel like I need to stop I continue because I am far away from home anyways, either I run or I never get home. This will help with your 25 minute goal because all you need is the first 10 minutes then you only have 2 options: run home or sit down on the side walk. And your not going to do that!
  • downalynn
    downalynn Posts: 12 Member
    These are the thoughts that run through my head throughout the workout "my knee feels funny...it's not pain, keep going....it's really hot in here, I don't think I can do this....yes you can....if I stop after (insert distance here) that will be good enough....what are you doing, it's only 25 minutes, you can do this....I'm overheating....yes, dummy, you're running, you're suppose to be sweating....maybe I should just walk a minute after the first 10....really? You ran 25 minutes 2 days ago, why are you slacking today....maybe I'll just run until I hit 2 miles.....seriously?, it is less than 2.5 if you do the whole 25, why sell yourself short....maybe running the day after flying is just too hard....and so on"

    Try this instead:
    :devil: DEVIL on SHOULDER:my knee feels funny
    :glasses: You: it's not pain, keep going....yes you can.... it's only 25 minutes, you can do this....you're running, you're suppose to be sweating.... You ran 25 minutes 2 days ago, it is less than 2.5 if you do the whole 25, you will not yourself short...GO GO GO!!!!

    OR BETTER YET:
    :glasses: You: (YOU tart the battle...and give NO ROOM. Do't let the enemy get a word in...) keep going....yes you can.... it's only 25 minutes, you can do this....you're running, you're suppose to be sweating.... You ran 25 minutes 2 days ago, it is less than 2.5 if you do the whole 25, you will not yourself short...GO GO GO!!!!
  • cwelch2677
    cwelch2677 Posts: 69 Member
    I've been like this with my running lately. Hadn't really thought about how it might be the time of year affecting me. My body thinks it's supposed to be on vacation! :)
  • DangerJim71
    DangerJim71 Posts: 361 Member
    Pretty standard stuff for me. How I overcome these things is to lose myself in some kick *kitten* workout tunes, prepare a long term workout schedule with very specific goals in mind and just decide that I am sticking to it no matter what, look at the fat guys my age that sit on there arses dying, push harder to see what I am capable of, measure my workout like if I'm 1 mile into a 5 miles run then wow I'm already 20% done, look at what I have accomplished in reshaping my body and where I want to be...

    I do whatever it takes because I don't ever want to go back to being a fat, lazy, tired, boring, crapcake!!!
  • blues4miles
    blues4miles Posts: 1,481 Member
    For me there are good days and bad days in running. One day I struggle to run even for ten minutes, another day I run 10k with ease. I've noticed this does have something to do with how I've eaten the day before. If I haven't eaten that much or not very nutritious food, it's harder to run. Try listening to radio, so you can focus on that instead of your thoughts. Also, I always run outside. Changing view and air that doesn't stand still makes running a lot easier.

    This. Pay attention to your nutrition and hydration. Definitely music. Definitely try to run outside (I see you were on work travel, so maybe no options...).

    I try to only have 1 or maybe 2 runs a week where I really push myself. And usually once a week I have a "f@#$ it all" run. Might have a distance goal, but just do whatever speed I feel like. However fast or slow. Walk whenever the h@# i feel like it. Got to let yourself off the rails every now and then.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    If you aren't training for a specific event, maybe you could sign up for a race for some added incentive. If that doesn't sound interesting, you could just be burned out on that workout, especially if that is what you have focused on exclusively for a while. Maybe you could find a class that interests you for a few weeks, change the scenery of where you are working out, something, anything to get rid of the boredom. Personally, I would rather have my fingernails pulled out one by one than to run on the treadmill.
  • MichaelFunaro
    MichaelFunaro Posts: 66 Member
    I wrote a blog about this subject last week. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/dantanna85

    If you battle yourself, it's going to cause you problems. I know, cause I have done it too. It's all about getting it right in your head. Wish it was something I had a concrete answer for, but we all have to find what it is in our heads that makes us not battle our body. Once you find that, you will continue on with your success that you have achieved thus far. I wish you the best in finding that path.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    I travel weekly for work and say the same things to myself in hotel gyms!!! It's salways different in my local gym.....never have the issues, but it always seems I have to push harder when traveling for the same result!
  • nancycaregiver
    nancycaregiver Posts: 812 Member
    You need a distraction, like a TV or an iPod. This will take your mind off the argument with yourself and makes the time go by much faster!

    And I know it was just a typo but I loved it: DREADMILL!! It could have been Freudian! LOL! That is certainly what I think of it as!!:laugh:
  • HeyHeyLynn
    HeyHeyLynn Posts: 31 Member
    My daughter, now 34, has been running competitively (and personally) since she was 10 years old. One New Year's she made a resolution to run 45 minutes every day for a year, and she went OVER a year with her streak. When I told her I was going to start a walking program, she encouraged me to do it first thing in the morning before anything else; that way it's not something to make excuses about later (no time, too tired, don't feel like it, windy, rainy, sunny...you know the excuses you can make.

    With her encouragement and the "first thing in the morning" rule, I've walked every day for 115 days. I have no excuses; I just do it....sometimes faster and peppier and happier than other times...but I do it.

    (I think I'm mostly still asleep, to tell the truth. I'm not a morning person.)
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
    Your brain sounds like me most days. All i can say is keep going because at the end of the day you will feel so much better.
  • bearsmom82
    bearsmom82 Posts: 72 Member
    1) MUSIC. Get out the cell/iphone/mp3 player and load it will fast tempo music. Pick song you love, songs that you will find yourself singing along too no matter where you are.
    2) Watch TV if you are trapped on the dreamill, or read something (nook/kindle/ipad). Something to distract.
    3) COVER the numbers on the treadmill. I swear that min timer is the WORST thing to have displayed on the damn machines. If you have a smart phone, get one of the C25K apps that will prompt you when it's time to change.
    4) Offer to reward yourself for your hard work. Say.... go home and enjoy a hot bath/shower/soak. Go watch a movie later. Play some video games. Go window shopping for clothes you want to be able to fit in.

    My brain does the same evil talks while I'm in the gym, doing my thing. Some days it takes everything I have to stay put and do my time. But, don't quit.... I've gotten to the point where I've been sick going on 3 weeks - no gym time. I MISS EXERCISING!

    This is something I've NEVER... EVER said in my life before.
    ^THIS!!

    Running is mostly mental - your body is very capable of doing the running, but your mind puts up obstacles. I always cover my timer on the treadmill, and I either run with a partner and keep talking throughout the run, or I listen to my favorite tunes - and recently, we've started watching university interest-course lectures on dvd when we're on the treadmill/elliptical in the basement. Don't let your mind stop your body from achieving it's best....

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