Losing weight - warning

Options
Sharmender
Sharmender Posts: 133 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I started losing weight in feb 2012. I lost 14 kg (around 30 lbs) in 4 months through lots of exercise(bicycle and JM videos) and healthy eating, My height is 172 cm(5'7). My starting weight was 70kg(154 lbs), my lowest weight was 56kg(124 lbs), currently I'm at 60 kg.(131 lbs)

Also, i've developed an eating disorder.

When I first started losing weight I thought I wasnt looking good enough. I got to a point that I was so insecure, that I decided I should start losing weight. It went great, the pounds were flying off. I was exercising and eating really healthy for the first time of my live.Losing weight was something that I was good at. It was great, but at the end of the day I still wasnt happy. When I lost the 14 kg, i realized I still wasnt happy with myself.

A big motivation was my holiday. Sure, it was nice to wear a bikini and not feel really fat. But I still felt ugly. During and after the holiday, I stopped dieting and following my stupid rules and started eating normal. Losing any more weight wouldnt make me feel better anyway. But I gained weight, and that frustrated me. All the tension led to binging and unfortunately, also purging. I'm currently in therapy.

I want to warn you all that you shouldnt obsess too much over losing weight. Because when you're the skinniest version of yourself, it still isn't enough. It will never be. It's not true that you will be happy when you're thin. I speak from experience. Food and weight became my life, it isolated me from my hobbies and my friends. It took away everything. It made me feel even more alone and ugly.
Sure, I got lots of compliments and I didnt think I was fat. I even put up before/after pictures in here. It all meant nothing to me. I made up other reasons to hate myself. I became more insecure than I used to be. It was never good enough.
I'd rather be the old, kinda chubby me than what I am now. It's a living hell, and so not worth it.I can't see the world and myself like it really is anymore. I still see myself as a fat girl even when I'm wearing size XS.

Of course, I do encourage a healthy lifestyle. I do not want to discourage or offend anyone with this post.

But I also think there are a lot of people here who are to obsessed over their weight. People who say they are healthy but really aren't. I was like that too. I just want to warn you. Please find a way to love yourself now.

Replies

  • paxbfl
    paxbfl Posts: 391 Member
    Options
    Your warning is a valid one... all things in moderation. I've done a lot of yo-yo dieting where I'll get very serious about losing weight and then just get bored with the whole thing and go back to my normal diet. I'm determined not to do that this time, and I think MFP will help since I'll know exactly how many calories I'm eating (and how many I SHOULD be eating). For the first time I'm looking forward to "maintenance mode".

    I think people think losing weight will solve all their problems, but it doesn't. But make no mistake, it's a very positive step if you're overweight. But it's just the start. Now take the same energy and focus you put into losing weight and apply that to other areas of your life. Be more spiritual. Be a better friend or family member. Work harder at school or in your career. Become wiser and more knowledgeable. Be a more giving person - help others.

    Be the person you want to be, the awesome person God made you to be. Look great, feel great, and BE great in all areas of your life.
  • bradthemedic
    bradthemedic Posts: 623 Member
    Options
    Bump. More people need to see and read this.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Options
    I think people think losing weight will solve all their problems, but it doesn't. But make no mistake, it's a very positive step if you're overweight. But it's just the start. Now take the same energy and focus you put into losing weight and apply that to other areas of your life. Be more spiritual. Be a better friend or family member. Work harder at school or in your career. Become wiser and more knowledgeable. Be a more giving person - help others.

    This exactly. The same thing they say about money.."losing weight just makes you MORE of what you already are" It will not solve all your problems, make people 'love' you or fix your life. It may make it a little 'easier' to do SOME stuff but it's not going to change who you are inside ;)
  • Sharmender
    Sharmender Posts: 133 Member
    Options
    I think people think losing weight will solve all their problems, but it doesn't. But make no mistake, it's a very positive step if you're overweight. But it's just the start. Now take the same energy and focus you put into losing weight and apply that to other areas of your life. Be more spiritual. Be a better friend or family member. Work harder at school or in your career. Become wiser and more knowledgeable. Be a more giving person - help others.

    This exactly. The same thing they say about money.."losing weight just makes you MORE of what you already are" It will not solve all your problems, make people 'love' you or fix your life. It may make it a little 'easier' to do SOME stuff but it's not going to change who you are inside ;)

    This is right :) But if you do it for the wrong reasons or cant see the reality anymore; it can ruin your personality (and your relationship with food)
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    Options
    Good post!
    Logging my food started me obsessing with the calories and afraid to be "over" my allotted calories. I found I would not eat...just in case I ate something later. It got ridiculous. So I don't log anymore. And you know what? I'm losing these last 20 lbs. I keep up with my exercising, listen to my body when it says "let's refuel", and still enjoy treats. It was the obsessing over calories and fear of going over that really stunted my ability to get anywhere. Now I'm relaxed and enjoying my workouts and dropping the weight. For many logging helps.....for me it didn't.
  • paxbfl
    paxbfl Posts: 391 Member
    Options
    For many logging helps.....for me it didn't.

    It's different for every person I guess. I'm really enjoying logging because I don't feel like I can trust myself to just do it without keeping close tabs on things. I will eat half the bag of pretzels and think that's ok. My idea of a reasonable portion is not really reasonable. No kidding... I can eat 4,000 calories in a day and not even feel "stuffed". Logging forces me to track those calories more closely.

    I worked out for a year and didn't lose a significant amount of weight. It was only when I started MFP that I realized I was still eating way, way too many calories. Since then (6 weeks ago) I've lost 20 pounds and feel great.

Categories