Has your body ever been made fun of?

pilatemom
pilatemom Posts: 111
in Introduce Yourself
Mine has. Three times in the last week. I just had a baby 3 weeks and 1 day ago. My body will never be the same again. I'm covered in stretchmarks, my stomach is saggy and the doctor didn't sew me up all the way. First my grandpa said "Even after the baby, you're still fat.", then he apologizes and two days later says "You should go on a diet. I can't make you but you should eat lots of fresh vegetables and fruit." then my boyfriend and me gets in a fight and he tells me that down there is loose anyway. Well, I think after carrying a 9 pound .2 ounce baby and pushing her out vaginally I wouldn't have a gym body and most certainly wouldn't have my vagina the same but I think that may be related to the doctor not sewing me up well enough. Either way, that's three times. And sorry, ex boyfriend now. I'm breaking down. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my daughter. No... I'm not breaking down. I'm broken.

Replies

  • Sick_Beard
    Sick_Beard Posts: 407 Member
    Mine has. Three times in the last week. I just had a baby 3 weeks and 1 day ago. My body will never be the same again. I'm covered in stretchmarks, my stomach is saggy and the doctor didn't sew me up all the way. First my grandpa said "Even after the baby, you're still fat.", then he apologizes and two days later says "You should go on a diet. I can't make you but you should eat lots of fresh vegetables and fruit." then my boyfriend and me gets in a fight and he tells me that down there is loose anyway. Well, I think after carrying a 9 pound .2 ounce baby and pushing her out vaginally I wouldn't have a gym body and most certainly wouldn't have my vagina the same but I think that may be related to the doctor not sewing me up well enough. Either way, that's three times. And sorry, ex boyfriend now. I'm breaking down. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my daughter. No... I'm not breaking down. I'm broken.

    You should have replied "If you had to push a 9 pound baby through your *kitten* don't expect to *kitten* the same for the next few months".

    Good on you for getting rid of the douche that drags you down in life, I have no tolerance for people that verbally abuse others.
    What you should do know is focus on what is important...BONDING with your child and find your self worth again.
  • giggitygoo
    giggitygoo Posts: 1,978 Member
    This is so heartbreaking! Focus on the love you have for your daughter. The stretch marks will fade, the tummy will bounce back, and your lady parts are not ruined - it's only been 3 weeks!!

    I can't imagine anyone saying these things to a new mom. How awful.

    You are beautiful, and so is your body. You should celebrate it for creating life, and giving you that baby girl. The other stuff is inconsequential.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    This is so heartbreaking! Focus on the love you have for your daughter. The stretch marks will fade, the tummy will bounce back, and your lady parts are not ruined - it's only been 3 weeks!!

    I can't imagine anyone saying these things to a new mom. How awful.

    You are beautiful, and so is your body. You should celebrate it for creating life, and giving you that baby girl. The other stuff is inconsequential.

    exactly what she said! and that's why he's not supposed to be touching your lady parts until at least 6 weeks, your body needs to heal. your gramps should keep his mouth shut. and the guy definitely needs to be an "ex" what a douche
  • JustANumber85
    JustANumber85 Posts: 644 Member
    HUGS HUGS HUGS

    id kick your bf to the curb too- if he cant love you for you, hed be gone. You just had a baby, you cant look anything but like a mom.

    I have learned there are people who make fun of you, sometimes for things you can help and sometimes for things you cant. It doesnt do you any good to get upset though because its not even YOUR issue- its THEIRS! Once in middle school someone made fun of me for the gap in my front teeth and i still remember standing there saying " well, then you pay for me to go to the orthodontist for braces " and they didnt make fun of me again.
  • babymine55
    babymine55 Posts: 127 Member
    Mine has. Three times in the last week. I just had a baby 3 weeks and 1 day ago. My body will never be the same again. I'm covered in stretchmarks, my stomach is saggy and the doctor didn't sew me up all the way. First my grandpa said "Even after the baby, you're still fat.", then he apologizes and two days later says "You should go on a diet. I can't make you but you should eat lots of fresh vegetables and fruit." then my boyfriend and me gets in a fight and he tells me that down there is loose anyway. Well, I think after carrying a 9 pound .2 ounce baby and pushing her out vaginally I wouldn't have a gym body and most certainly wouldn't have my vagina the same but I think that may be related to the doctor not sewing me up well enough. Either way, that's three times. And sorry, ex boyfriend now. I'm breaking down. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my daughter. No... I'm not breaking down. I'm broken.

    I am so sorry that your "loved ones" have given themselved permission to say those things to you. You are young, your body was made to recover...but NOT in 3 weeks!! I've had 4 children...every time is different, every recovery is different.

    Don't let the ignorant rattlngs of those around you rob you of your joy, your success, your mental/emotional/physical health and well being.

    My dad used to have "let's guess Jen's weight" games..my husband used to say things early on in our marriage thinking he was helping somehow....their igorance is their problem.

    You have a community of people around you that know and understand what you are going through. Draw from those that speak wisdom and positivity, not negativiy and ignorance.

    Praying for you and that precious baby of yours! <3
  • Ragarianok
    Ragarianok Posts: 23
    It frustrates me that some people can care so little about the feelings of others. I can't say that I know what your going through, but I am sympathetic to your situation. You are a truly beautiful, no matter what they say. :)
  • 10manda86
    10manda86 Posts: 229 Member
    if you believe the dr hasn't put you back together properly I would go and see someone about it... good doctors will be able to fix you up like new... i had 9lb 8oz forcep baby and after all the instruments went in the dr put me back together probably better than ever! so im terribly sorry to hear you are unhappy with how they left you... belly does recover just remember to work your pelvic floor, and watch your posture... you have to remember you are no longer pregnant so you dont have to stand like you did when you were... stand up straight and tall and hold you tummy in a little... you will be surprised how much slimmer good posture can make you look, and it will help strengthen those loose muscles all stretched from being pregnant :)
    also like losing weight, it takes time... so be patient, you didn't expand over night, it took nine months... you wont go back over night either... but it will happen xx
    p.s. continue to rub cream into your stretch marks... i dunno if they have bio-oil where you are but i'm sure there is some kind of moisturiser or oil you can use to help xx
  • ImprovingEla
    ImprovingEla Posts: 396 Member
    I am really not a violent person, but I really want to sell 2 punches right now. one to your grandpa (cause when you do breastfeeding, you should not be on a diet, just eating healthy and still this is completly your choice! Your baby needs the nutrition and fat, too!) and to that ex-boyfriend of yours!
    What an idiot, you gifted him with a healthy daughter and you are healthy as well! Your concern at the moment should be if you are bonding well with the little one and he should be grateful for everything he gets!

    As for the stretchmarks and stuff! You are a mom of healthy kids! Be PROUD of the stretchmarks, there are a whole lot of people who spend a little fortune on tattoos to express their journey in life, you got them for free and the love of a child as well.
    Take a little time to adjust to the situation and then, if YOU feel like it, start to work out and get the body you want! Not by excessive dieting, what those "men" apparently want, but be a healthy mom, your kids learn from by example!
  • misalillstead
    misalillstead Posts: 407 Member
    I agree with all of the above posters! It takes time to recover... You've just been through something amazing. How dare those men bring you down. Be strong for yourself and for your baby!
  • velmaisvelma
    velmaisvelma Posts: 90 Member
    First off, there is nothing wrong with your body, post baby. 2nd three weeks postpartum is not enough time to heal after a vaginal birth for intercourse for him to get into his pea sized brain that you're "loose." 6 weeks is the average when you can even begin to try to re-evaluate your diet in order to lose weight, even longer before trying weight bearing hard-core exercises. You can damage yourself by trying too early.

    I am SO glad you kicked him to the curb! You may feel let down, lonely, but if he can make you feel that bad with his verbal abuse (just 3 weeks postpartum) imagine what the future will hold and how much worse it would get. As far as Gramps goes, tell him the truth, tell him how it hurt you and that you need his support, not his criticism. I had to do that with my own grandfather when I was pregnant with my 3rd.

    If you had a traumatic birth experience that caused excessive trauma/tearing, I suggest upping your protein intake, it will help you heal faster. It can also help you feel better. Bond with your baby, these are the days you can't get back.

    I am not a medical physician, I am a homebirth midwife, not here in a professional capacity, just providing some feedback. Good luck!
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    you are NOT broken. You JUST grew and delivered another human being! Your grandpa and ex-bf are extremely ignorant when it comes to post-pregnancy bodies, and I really hope you have a better support system in your life besides them :frown:
  • mikayla169
    mikayla169 Posts: 40 Member
    Thats awful, I hope that the MFP community can pick you back up!
    I know that I, for one, have suffered from such comments in the past, but following a baby is just cruel! I had mine 7 weeks ago now and have so far lost 10lbs, keep yourself in a positive frame of mind, focus on your new baby and don't surround yourself with the negativity..
    Remember, you're not ugly, you're a tiger that earned her stripes!
  • spmccann
    spmccann Posts: 6 Member
    You have a beautiful baby. Your boyfriend or ex boyfriend is an idiot but he was probably just jealous of the baby. Its time for him to "man up" and realise that for a while the main focus for you is going to be the baby and thats natural enough. I'm fourtunate enough to have two daugthers . It was made pretty clear to me by the medical staff that intercourse was off limits for 8-10 weeks till my wife had recovered from giving birth to our first daughter. The tummy will get back to normal , the stretch marks will fade but the love for your child wont. Rasing children is tough but rewarding , remember to be gentle with yourself and look after you and the baby. Stay positive and enjoy your new motherhood.
  • sannsk
    sannsk Posts: 203 Member
    What a jerk! You deserve so much better, and that boy needs to get his a** kicked!
    Don't even think about going on a diet now, you have just delivered a wonderful miracle to the world! you've earned some rest, respect, and gratitude instead of insults and rude remarks.
    Enjoy your baby and be proud of what you've done!
  • wimeezer
    wimeezer Posts: 404 Member
    Others have given you great advice. Just want to add one thing:

    You aren't ruined; you're a beautiful tiger who was earned her stripes.

    Hugs and blessings for you and your little one.
  • susiemou
    susiemou Posts: 47 Member
    Sweetheart, i just want to echo what others have said on here, and to add my opinion as a mum myself, please believe in yourself and your own self worth, you are the centre of your baby's universe and as such need to be strong and healthy and not give a damn about what anybody else thinks (loser ex-boyfriend that means you!).
    I hope you have some post natal groups available in your area where you can get support from health professionals and other mums, as that was a big help to me after having a baby.
    I don't know anyone who didn't feel as if they had been run over by a truck in the first few weeks, it takes time to heal mentally and physically, but you will.
    All the luck in the world to you. x
  • svanzinha
    svanzinha Posts: 23 Member
    This is so heartbreaking! Focus on the love you have for your daughter. The stretch marks will fade, the tummy will bounce back, and your lady parts are not ruined - it's only been 3 weeks!!

    I can't imagine anyone saying these things to a new mom. How awful.

    You are beautiful, and so is your body. You should celebrate it for creating life, and giving you that baby girl. The other stuff is inconsequential.

    I agree with that. When I had my babies, there was no "activity" for 6 weeks - because pushing a baby out there is rough and you need time to recover from that. So he should keep to himself for a while anyways!! Give yourself time. Your body spent almost 10 months growing and nourishing a baby. It's done an awesome job and now needs time to get back. Most women don't bounce back to what they were right away.

    All the best to you!!
  • thinjustfabulous
    thinjustfabulous Posts: 30 Member
    Don't give up,
    Make him sorry for losing you
    That's the best revenge
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
    It frustrates me that some people can care so little about the feelings of others. I can't say that I know what your going through, but I am sympathetic to your situation. You are a truly beautiful, no matter what they say. :)
    thats women!! LOL
  • forwesgar13
    forwesgar13 Posts: 56 Member
    I was young when I had my first too . Wanted to give you a down the road prospective , hope this helps you a little . I saw where you are eighteen . I had my first son at nineteen and had to have a c section , big scar forever. He's twenty now and they could cut me from head to toe to have him. You've been blessed with the greatest gift, just enjoy your gift. After three kids now I can assure you all your parts will go back together. And yes, the other two I had normally that goes back together too. It takes a little time and effort ,exercise ect . You will see results with the exercise and it will give you alone time and help you with stress( light walking till after 6 weeks ) . Don't get caught up on stretch marks ect all of your girl friends will earn them when they have kids . No body is perfect ask any of your friends and they all dislike something on their body. My cousin just had a baby and we were talking about this this the other day. It's normal to feel like you look like crap and your frumpy after you have a baby , you are puked on and crapped on all day. Go do something special for yourself ( hair new outfit ect.) You will learn as you get older you will not be perfect and you can't be everything to everybody, but you can be your best you. You will also learn that you have both negative and positive people in your life(there is a reason for both ) , the positive people show you who you inspire to be ... your best you... the negative people are there to help keep you on top of your game so you get there. Use it to grow never let them break you. It's always funny how the most judgmental people are the one's that their life its such a train wreck . Gramps is just old , they are like two year olds if they think it they say it. Three weeks is just to soon but I too took my pre pregnant jeans to the hospital thinking I was gonna have that baby and be right back in those jeans , NOT ! But give yourself a few months and you will be one hot momma ! Hugs to you !Congrat's again on your bundle of joy !
  • runmybunsoff
    runmybunsoff Posts: 224 Member
    omg!! :-( how terrible my heart goes out to you! Don't listen to them, please!! I hope you will feel better soon, really do! And good for you for leaving that guy!!
  • glahlstedt
    glahlstedt Posts: 308 Member
    SERIOSLY?!! People need to THINK befor they speak!! Same thing has happened to me~so i understand where you are coming from! I gained 100lbs with my pregnancy, so people had a tendency to say all kinds of things. About 2 years ago, my hubbs told me that he wasn't physically attracted to me anymore! That hurt more than anything in the world! I could go on and on, but that comment broke me more than anything.....So, here I am trying to lose weight...not for my hubby, but for myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't let what other people say brake you, because you can do this. Do it for your health! Besides, give yourself a break...you just had a baby! My daughter is already 4.5..lol...i'm still trying!!!!

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